A Different Kind of Moon
by Eyes of Topaz
Summary: Six months after Edward left Bella in the forest, he is nowhere to be found. The Cullens try to abide by his wishes but when Carlisle discovers Bella has been institutionalized, everything changes...will true love conquer all?
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N The story begins six months after Edward left Bella in the forest, but unfortunately things have taken a darker turn than our beloved SM wrote. This is the tale of how Edward and Bella eventually find their way back to each other, although it is a difficult road traveled. There will not be any reference to the events in Eclipse or BD.**_

_**Rating: M is for lemons sometime down the road!**_

_**Special thanks to changedbyEdward for being such a wonderful beta and friend!!**_

_**Huge thank you to Stephenie Meyer for allowing me to play with her characters....I do not own them but I sure wish I did!!**_

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_**(Carlisle's POV)**_

I stood at the wall of glass, staring out into the lush, green forest behind our home. There had been a time in my existence that I had found this same visual soothing to me, but not anymore. Six months had passed since I had felt that comfort, and I wondered if I would ever feel it again.

"I miss them as well, my love." I had felt her presence in the room with me and wondered if she was sensing my despair. Her tiny arms encircled me from behind and I felt her rest her cool cheek against my back. I am not sure how long we stood like that, lost in our own thoughts, but together.

I turned in her embrace, bringing my hands up to run my fingers through her beautiful butterscotch hair. She sighed as my fingers massaged her scalp and I lowered my chin to nuzzle the top of her head.

"Have you had any news at all?" she whispered, her bell-like tone breaking in sadness.

I shook my head. "No love, not a word. I spoke with Rosalie this morning and she and Emmett have been watching for him constantly on their travels, but have not seen or heard anything. "

"And Alice?" She knew the response would be the same, but I understood her asking anyway.

"Nothing yet. Her visions are tormenting her because she is doing everything she can to avoid looking. And Jasper's guilt is still weighing heavily on both of them, I am afraid."

I felt Esme shake her head against my chest and I crushed her to me. I would do anything I could to spare her this pain. The anger and disappointment I now felt for my family was terrifying to me. I could not blame 'our children' for the turmoil we were now facing, but I could not completely forgive them either.

If only…but I closed my eyes and forced the thoughts to the back of my mind. I had been over the scenarios so many times and it was of no use to us now. I gently lifted Esme into my arms and carried her to the overstuffed sofa in front of the fire. I sat, pulling her onto my lap, cradling her in my arms as we lost ourselves in the flames.

"Our children are not the only ones I miss, Carlisle." Her voice was soft and low, full of anguish. "I am so afraid for her."

"I know, love. I am worried as well. I am ashamed to say that I have begged Alice to break our promise to Edward and check in on her, but she is even more loyal to him than I am at this point." Frustration soaked through me and Esme held me closer, hoping to ease it away.

"You sound as though you have made a decision, Carlisle."

I nodded, once again burying my face against her hair. No matter how many years we had shared together, her scent still intoxicated me. I pressed my lips against her forehead, kissing her gently on her closed eyelids, her nose and finally softly against her lips. Our tongues met briefly, dancing against each other and I felt her sigh in contentment.

Pulling away from me, she looked at me questioningly. "Are you going to tell me, my love?"

I nodded, slowly releasing her from my lap and setting her back against the embroidered cushions adorning the sofa. I stood slowly and tossed another log to the flames. I stared at the framed photographs of each of our children on the mantle, finally staring at the most recent photo I had. Alice had taken it, six months prior on the night that had changed everything. The two holes in my heart stared back at me, smiling, not knowing what lay ahead.

I turned from the photo and stared at my beloved. I knew she was crying, even though she had no human tears to shed.

"I am leaving for Forks in the morning." I joined her again on the couch and held her hands to my lips. Her hands caressed my face gently and I smiled at the faint sign of hope that glimmered in her golden eyes.

The flight to Seattle was uneventful and I had spent most of it fighting the urge to get on the next flight back home. I held true to my course and felt my tension leaving me as I drove the dark blue Mercedes I had rented at the airport along the familiar road leading to Forks.

I was unsure of how I would proceed, but knew my first stop would be painful. As I drove slowly up the dark, overgrown driveway to our former home, sorrow filled my senses. I turned the engine off and stared at the house, longing for it to be filled again with the boisterous sounds of my family.

Opening the door to the car slowly, I immediately sensed I was not alone. I leaned against the Mercedes and glanced quickly around to see what or who waited for me. The sensation faded away and I quickly made my way to the porch steps, unlocking the door and stepping inside.

It was quiet, like a tomb. I grimaced at the thought of how suitable it would seem to some vampires, but not ones of our kind. I was unsure of what made 'vegetarians' like ourselves more human, but it was the one characteristic of both mine and the Denali family that I most revered.

Although we had moved many of our personal items to our new home, we had left a few pieces of furniture in the house in case any of us ever returned. I was unsure how long I would be here, but quickly made my way around the house, lifting blinds and removing the sheets that covered the few pieces remaining.

I dropped into a chair and rested my head in my hands, as if I was pushing the sorrow to the back of my mind. I had come to Forks for answers, and I knew that Edward would most likely never forgive this betrayal, but I could not let the demise of my family go on forever. I had existed for a good part of four centuries but knew that I surely would never have done so without my family.

A slight rap at the door startled me out of my thoughts and I made my way to the entry slowly, unsure of who or what I would find. I glanced through the window and was startled to see two dark eyes staring back at me.

"Jacob Black, I am surprised to see you here." I held the door open for him and waited for his response.

I sensed his hesitation, but he did not let it stop him. He pushed his way past me and dropped into one of the leather chairs I had just uncovered. His hair was much shorter than I remembered and his eyes held a sadness that I knew only too well. His jean shorts were dirty and he smelled horrible. Amazement washed over me as I realized what Jacob had become.

"My God, you're a werewolf! But how can this be?" I asked as I looked him over carefully. He had grown in the time we had been away. I pegged him at 6'5 at least, and knew that he was very strong by the look of his toned bronze body.

"And I'm not the only one." His voice was more of a snarl, warning me that whomever else he was talking about, knew where he was.

"Jacob, as I am sure you are well aware, the treaty still stands." I slowly moved toward him and sensing his immediate stress, motioned to the seat across from him. He nodded slightly and I sat, watching him intently.

"Are you the only leech here?" He spit the word out callously, and although I personally hated the term, I let it stand, knowing he must have had a good reason to come into my home.

"Yes, I'm the only one here." I pressed my fingers together in thought. "Is there a reason that you came to the house?"

Jacob lowered his gaze to the floor, inhaling deeply. A look of disgust crossed his face and I understood immediately that my aroma was no more pleasant to him than his was to me. "We've been watching the house for any signs that someone had returned."

I felt venom at the back of my throat burning like bile. "Why would you do such a thing? None of my family has broken the treaty, which is certainly not the same as I can say for you."

Anger and hurt filled his eyes. "Don't you think I know that? Blame myself for it?" He stood and began to pace. "If I hadn't told her, maybe she wouldn't have been so drawn to him!" He spit the last word out, his ire building, as I knew he thought of Edward.

Catching himself, he dropped once again into the chair and held his head in his hands. Moments passed and neither of us spoke, his angry words hanging in the air like cobwebs.

"How is she?" I whispered.

He raised his eyes to me slowly and I shuddered at the depths of utter desolation shining there. "She may as well be dead."

Twilight. The safest part of the day. I stared out the windows into the tree line that hugged our Forks home and played my earlier discussion with Jacob over again in my mind. He had been gone for hours already, but the stench of him still permeated the air.

His words had stung me as if he had said one of my own were gone. I had choked at his statement, and before he even had a chance to defend himself, I had him by the neck and against a wall. "Tell me what you mean by that!" I spat out.

He growled menacingly, but something in my eyes must have stirred him because he raised his hands in surrender. Disgusted with myself for this rare exploit of anger, I set him back in the chair and walked away from him.

"I am sorry Jacob. I did not mean any harm."

"I know C…Carlisle." He rubbed his hand against his throat and grinned at me, although the smile went nowhere near his eyes. "I know you aren't dangerous to me and I can appreciate the…" he hesitated, "feelings you have for Bella."

Feelings I had for her? Love, awe, respect were only a few of the things that I felt for the girl who I had been sure was to become my newest daughter. She had charmed me from the first time I met her in the hospital, right after the fateful day that Edward had saved her life.

Even then, when she knew nothing more of us than what she had heard from her schoolmates and what she had seen, she was more aware of what we were and was unafraid. She was so in tune with herself and her thoughts, and it amazed me how totally oblivious she was of her beauty and her strength. It was little wonder that Edward had fallen so quickly under her spell. We all did.

Jacob cleared his throat and brought me back to reality.

"Are you going to tell me what you meant by that statement?"

"She's not in Forks anymore. She's in Seattle – in a mental hospital." His words floored me and I stared at him in silence. "Charlie didn't know how to help her…no one did."

"Did she try to hurt herself, Jacob?"

"No- that's just it. She hasn't done or said anything." I looked at him questioningly and he continued, the anger seeping into his voice as he spoke the words I now replayed in my mind over and over. "He broke her. He left her lying in that forest after he destroyed her. She hasn't spoken or hardly moved since that day. It's as if she's dead."

I mulled it over time and again in my mind. What had Edward said? What had he done to the one he claimed was his soul mate?

I sat again and pulled my cell phone out. Esme had called and left several messages, but I was unsure what to tell her about what I had learned. I listened to each message, her voice more anxious with each call, and then dialed home.

"Carlisle, I have been so worried."

I grimaced, hating to have made her feel this way. "I'm so sorry, my love, but I was unable to call earlier. I had a guest waiting for me when I arrived."

She listened intently while I filled her in on my visit with Jacob. I could visualize her clutching her throat to fight the tears she was unable to shed for Bella. I had been dreading sharing the details with her, but knew that she would be my guide for the task that lay ahead. "Carlisle, what will we do?"

"I don't know."

"Should I call the family back?"

I inhaled deeply and thought for a moment. "No, don't do anything yet. I will give you a call in awhile. I am going to see Charlie."

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_**End of chapter - please let me know what you think so far!!!!!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N First off a huge thank you to everyone who took the time to read my first chapter and big hugs to all who reviewed and added alerts, favorites, etc. There are no words to describe that rush!**_

_**Big love to changedbyEdward, my wonderful beta for looking after me so well!!**_

_**As always, a MASSIVE thank you to Stephenie Meyer for allowing me to play with her characters....I do not own them but I sure wish I did!!**_

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**Chapter 2…**

**(Carlisle's POV)**

I decided that there was no sense in delaying the inevitable and made my way back into the tiny town we had once called home. The drive to the Swan residence was relatively short, even with me obeying the speed limit. I was unsure whether Charlie would even be home, but knew I didn't want to meet with him over a speeding ticket. I pulled up a short distance from the house and turned off the engine.

What would I say to him? I generally consider myself a well-spoken person, decades of practice speaking with patients and families in the hospital had given me more than enough experience, but for once I felt at a loss for words.

His police car was parked in the driveway behind Bella's truck. It gave me some peace to stare at the faded red paint of the beast, but my comfort was short-lived. Gathering my courage, I exited the Mercedes and made my way slowly up the walkway.

Through the window, I watched the silver lights of the television dance against the living room wall, and assumed that Charlie was most likely still awake. I knocked on the door and waited.

"Yeah, coming." I heard footsteps approaching the door.

The expressions on the Chief's face appeared to change with each thud of his beating heart – shock, frustration, anger and finally, cold politeness as he reigned in his emotions. He straightened slightly and held the door open, but stood in its path.

"Carlisle." His voice was thick with emotion.

"Hello, Charlie." I looked down at the step and then glanced back up to his face. "I was wondering if I might have a few moments of your time."

He stood for a moment and then backed away from the door, allowing me to enter. I followed him into the living room and stood while he shut off the television and turned to face me. I could see him arguing with himself about how he should proceed and I thought briefly of how much Bella was like him.

Finally he spoke. "What brings you by, Carlisle?"

I could tell that what he really meant was, "What the hell are you doing here in Forks, in my home?"

Remembering to breathe, I inhaled and sat in the seat he had pointed to when we entered the room. "Charlie, I heard Bella is in the hospital…"

His eyes smouldered then and I watched as he stood nervously and shoved his hands into the pockets of his worn jeans. "Yes, Carlisle, she is, and we both know God-damn well why she's there!" His voice rose and I waited for him to continue. "I hope to God that you didn't bring that boy here with you!"

I shook my head and saw the tension in his shoulders lighten a bit. "No, Charlie, Edward isn't with me. He is currently in South America, staying with some friends of the family."

"Well I hope the hell he stays there!" Charlie threw himself back into his Lazy boy and looked at me. "Why are _you_ back?"

It was my turn to stand. "Charlie, Esme and I have been very worried about Bella since the day we left. I can't begin to express how sorry I am for what has happened and I would truly like to help if you think there is any way I can." I paused and looked at him before continuing, "We love Bella like one of our own and I'm truly ashamed that my family has caused this severe stress for her."

Charlie leaned back and closed his eyes, his fingers massaging his temples as if to relieve the pain. "I'm not sure there's anything anyone can do, Carlisle." His voice was calmer now and quiet, filled with remorse.

"Charlie, let me try – it's the least I can do." I moved towards him and placed my hand on his shoulder. "Let me try to find her for you."

I felt his eyes on me then, full of questions, yet terrified to ask. Instead he nodded slowly. "I'll call the hospital and let them know you'll be headed their way." He paused. "I appreciate you taking the time to see her, Carlisle, and it's fine if your wife wants to as well, but I don't want that boy anywhere near her. Ever. Got that?"

I nodded, even though in the dark recesses of my mind, I knew I was most likely making a promise I would not be able to keep. "Thank you, Charlie. I will be in touch as soon as I have seen her. Now if you will excuse me, I'll just show myself out."

He never moved as I headed for the door, but as I made my way down the walk towards my car, I heard his choked sobs and the whispered prayer that followed. "Please God, let him be able to help her."

I returned to the house immediately after my visit with Charlie, not really having anywhere else to go and not wanting the rest of the town's residents to know that I was back. For a fleeting moment I thought about visiting the hospital, but I knew that would only raise questions that I was unable to answer.

I sat in silence, staring at the fireplace, contemplating my next move. The cheerful ring of my cell phone brought a strong distaste to my mouth as I was feeling anything but happy at the moment.

I thought it would be Esme calling for an update, but was surprised to see Alice's photo on the screen.

"Hello, Alice."

"Carlisle, why are you in Forks?" Her voice was like a wind chime and I smiled in spite of my melancholy mood.

"Alice, I'm not sure you want to hear my answer to that." I waited for her response, but was surprised when I only heard a small sigh at the other end. "Is everything alright with you and Jasper?"

"Yes, we're as well as could be expected. I'm calling to see if you need my assistance." I could sense her anguish as she mentally argued with her mind. "I saw her, Carlisle," she whispered.

A sad smile came to my lips as I knew that she had come to the end of her rope where Edward's demand was concerned as well. "What did you see, Alice?"

A sob caught in her throat and she choked. "She looks so lonely, so alone. I can't imagine…" I heard the phone shuffle and then another familiar voice came to me.

"Hello, Carlisle."

"Jasper, it's good to hear your voice." I leaned forward in my chair. "Is Alice alright?"

"She will be." He cleared his throat in a human way. "Her visions of Bella were quite difficult for her to see. She has been researching her history with the information that James supplied on the video and it has been quite disturbing for her." He paused. "I think it has been even more difficult seeing Bella in a similar state."

I nodded even though he could not see me. "Jasper, please tell Alice that I am going to see Bella tomorrow. I have been to see Charlie and he has hesitantly agreed to let me try and help."

"Do you want us to come home?" My chest swelled with joy hearing those words, but I knew it wasn't possible yet.

"As much as Esme and I would love to see you both, I'm going to have to ask you to be patient for a bit." I stood and paced the empty living room. "Charlie was quite adamant that Edward be nowhere near Bella, and I am afraid that if we all return to Forks so soon, he will come."

"What did he do to that girl, Carlisle?" I could hear Jasper inhale as he uttered the words. "Please forgive me- I should not have asked that of you. None of this would have happened if I had been able to show more control."

I heard Alice arguing with him in the background. "Jasper, Alice is right. This is not your fault. I know for a fact that Bella had already forgiven you. Do not forget that it was me who cleaned and stitched her wounds. She did not blame you. It was an accident." He didn't respond and I only hoped that eventually he would believe us. "Whatever happened between Bella and Edward in that forest is what has caused this breakdown. I only hope I will have a bit more insight after I see her."

Alice took the phone again. "Carlisle, I'm sorry I didn't look sooner. Please tell Bella I love her when you see her." A tiny pixie laugh came through the phone. "I think we should let you go, Esme is quite anxious to talk to you. You may have to buy her a new cell phone, though…her frustration seems to have shattered the one she's been trying to reach you on."

"Thank you, Alice. I will call her now."

We said our goodbyes and I relaxed, feeling as if a bit of the weight I had been carrying was lifted off my shoulders. Over the past few months, it had torn me apart that Alice and I were not seeing eye to eye on the situation. I knew her love for Edward was strong and how much she wanted to respect his wishes, but I also realized it was impossible for me to stand by any longer, not knowing. Speaking with Alice made me realize how much she had been suffering as well, for as much as she loved her "brother" – she felt just as devoted to Bella.

"Hello, Darling," I chuckled as I answered her call before it even rang.

I didn't ask her why she was calling from my office phone, and she didn't offer me details. She listened quietly as I filled her in on my visit with Charlie and my plans to head back to Seattle in the morning.

"I think I will arrange to fly up and meet you, my love. I know I can not go with you to see her, but I can't stand being so far from you while you go through this alone."

"Esme, I want you here as well. I don't know how this will all turn out, but I have a feeling we will be here for awhile."

"I will make arrangements to close the house here tomorrow then. Will we stay in Forks?"

I hesitated. "No dear, not yet. I think it would be best to stay, at least for the short term, right in Seattle. Can you make the arrangements, please?"

"Of course. I will see you soon. Goodnight, my love."

I closed the cell and stared at the bright silver moon shining above the cedars. It would be a long day ahead and I knew it would bode me well to hunt. I headed for our bedroom and changed quickly to faded jeans and a t-shirt before heading out into the dark night. I ran barefoot through the trees, far from the house and towards the scent I had picked up. A lone buck stood in the field below, his fur glistening with the newly fallen dew in the moonlight. I crouched and rushed him, taking him quickly to the ground. He never knew what hit him as I buried my face to his neck, taking his essence and silently thanking him for the gift.

After I had buried the remains, I sat and leaned against a cedar, staring into the moonlight. Thoughts of the day's events ran through my mind and I processed everything again, hoping I would be able to make sense of it all; but the question still remained…

"What did Edward do to cause Bella such pain?"

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_**End of chapter – reviews are like chocolate and I have one mean sweet tooth!!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N - For those of you who have received a story update or alert for this chapter - I was not happy with the original version I wrote. I had written it to try and give a frantic effect but unfortunately it fell short. It doesn't change anything to the rest of the story, but I feel this better represents Bella's troubles and Carlisle's emotions of seeing her again. Thanks to all who have taken the time to read my story!**_

_**Much love to LolaRose for her unwavering support and changedbyEdward for her fabulous beta skills and unending patience!!! **_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight. I am just borrowing :)**_

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___**(Bella's POV)**_

_Twilight. I used to long for the shadows of the night, as that was the time I cherished the most with him. Now, even though I'm trapped in this stark, white room, my entire existence has succumbed to darkness, but not how I had wished for it to happen. Instead, I am alone, living through a nightmare that seems to have no beginning and no end._

_No matter which way I turn, the trees are surrounding me, smothering me, threatening to swallow me whole. I hear them taunting me, whispering echoes of the words he spoke the day that my world became this nightmare. He's never coming back._

_Abandoned. An empty shell of the girl that fell in love with an angel. _

_Another whisper – "You're not good for me, Bella." _

_My heart breaks yet again because I know those words were true. I was never good enough for him and how I could have fooled myself into believing that he could love me forever was an irrational fantasy. One that I will now live with for the rest of my existence. _

"_Your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."_

_That's where he was wrong. I may forget, but I will never heal. He has ripped out and destroyed the very thing he swore he would never take. His greatest fear was for my soul, yet he held it with such little regard that day in the forest. He stole it from me when he left me that day, leaving me with nothing._

_Did he ever really care for me? Was it all a dream? Why did he have to take everything away from me? _

_He has left me with nothing except this nightmare and the melody that lingers in my mind. But even that grows fainter with each passing moment and I fear that once it's gone, any memory that I can cling to will be lost as well. I can not allow myself to forget, as my lullaby is the only thing that allows me to hold onto what might have been._

_What might have been. A family in a sense. Another thing ripped away from me. Alice – the best friend I had always longed for – gone. Without even a goodbye. Carlisle and Esme – how had they become so dear to me in such a short time? The parents I had never really had. I mourn the loss of something I never really had. It was all a fantasy, a game to amuse. He told me that his kind was easily distracted. No wonder he left and took everything with him. I wasn't even good enough to offer him a proper distraction._

_I fear the haunting truth of everything he said that day will be the ball and chain that will lock me in this nightmare for the rest of my days. _

"_It will be as if I never existed." Even though those words would release me from this prison, I am relieved they were the one lie he told me. I would rather live this nightmare than forget what might have been._

**(Carlisle's POV)**

I arrived at the hospital shortly after dawn, eager yet afraid of what I would find. As I made my way down the fluorescent-lit hallway, I cringed at how sterile and barren the building was. While it's no secret that police officers are generally grossly underpaid, I could not comprehend how Charlie could've left his daughter in such a horrid place.

A brief meeting with the hospital administrator, Dr. Freeman, left me angered and repulsed. A review of Bella's file revealed very little except that although they had not used physical restraints, they had kept her sedated, basically comatose, to stop her from dreaming. Obviously the nightmares were a huge part of the problem and needed to be studied, rather than buried under a drug-induced haze. No wonder they considered her unresponsive.

There is no doubt in my mind that the administrator sensed my frustration as she seemed more than happy to end our meeting so I could see Bella right away. The only bright spot of the morning had been when she had paged a nurse to escort me to Bella's room and it ended up being someone I had worked with fairly closely in Forks.

I thanked the administrator for her time and the generosity of being given an office to use during my stay, and then quickly followed Jennie out to the hallway. She looked much the same as the last time I had seen her - platinum blond hair pulled back into a slight bun and sparkling blue eyes. Of the very few humans that I had allowed myself to fraternize with at the Forks hospital, she was one of my favorites. Esme had teased me relentlessly when she met her, believing that I was living out some doctor/nurse fantasy, although she knew deep down that she had nothing to be concerned about. Jennie was just one of those people that I could depend on during an emergency and she was a very positive influence at the hospital. I was grateful that she was here – it would make the hospital feel a little less depressing.

Jennie cleared her throat and looked over at me as we walked down the hall towards Bella's room. "I'm not sure what Dr. Freeman told you, Dr. C., but I have to warn you that this will break your heart." She turned down another hallway and I continued to follow.

"Has she spoken at all, Jennie?"

"No, not to me. Some of the night staff have mentioned that she talks in her sleep quite often, but that it's jumbled. I have heard her crying, but when I've looked in she is just lying there, wrapped around herself like she's trying to disappear. It is heartbreaking – Chief Swan doesn't even come as often to see her anymore. I don't think he is able to cope."

Frustration coursed through my being. No wonder Bella was in the state she was in. How could she not believe that everyone had deserted her- even her own father! We came to a stop outside of a metal door with a tiny window. I looked in, but couldn't see her. I thanked Jennie as she handed me a copy of the key card to Bella's room before heading off on her rounds. I stood for a moment, trying to mentally prepare myself for whatever I was about to find, and then slowly let myself into the room.

The space was small and brightly lit, sparse in furniture other than a table with some untouched books, and a bed. I glanced at the book covers and saw that Charlie had brought all of her favourites, but it was obvious from the fine coating of dust on the covers that they had given her little comfort. I raised my eyes to the bed and a wave of horror washed over me as I stared at the broken doll in front of me. She sat with her back to the door in a position I had seen her take so many times when she was at our home. Her knees were tucked up under chin and her arms folded around them, as if she was trying to hold her body together. I noticed she was gently rocking herself, as if she were listening to some unheard melody.

"Bella." I softly spoke to her, not moving at all. She didn't respond, so I stepped a little closer. Her once vibrant mahogany hair fell lifelessly down her back and I could just see a hint of alabaster skin – she had always been pale, but was now morbidly so. If I had not been able to smell the light aroma of freesia in the room, I might have believed that she had already become one of us. There was other obvious proof that she was still amongst the living, of course. I could hear her heart beating softly in her chest, but what bothered me was there had been no reaction at all to the sound of her name.

"Bella, it's me, Carlisle. Do you know who I am?" I waited, hoping for a response, but nothing seemed to change. I sat for what seemed like hours, watching her rock, unsure how to approach her as I didn't want to alarm her, but I wanted her to know that I was there to help.

I stood slowly and walked towards the bed, facing her. Her face was buried against her knees and she was still rocking to her own melody. I knew that she sensed my presence, but she still wouldn't look at me. I heard her beating heart quicken and spoke again softly, "Bella, can you hear me?"

I stepped back but only for a moment as she screamed in terror. I glanced quickly to the door, but no one came to see what was happening. My opinion of the facility continued to decline – it was obvious that the patients were not the highest priority.

Not knowing what else to do, I pulled the child to me and nestled her on my lap, gently rocking her to the same unheard melody. I would hold her forever if I had to, but I knew that there was no way I was going to leave her in this condition. Unsure if she could even hear me, I began to talk, softly so as not to cause her stress. I begged her to come back to us and told her how sorry we were for everything that had transpired. I told her how much we loved her, how much she had been missed and how we needed her in our lives. I talked about seeing Charlie and how much he missed his little girl.

I had no idea how long I sat holding her in my arms, telling her these things. I felt her frail body relax and curl into me, and knew that she had fallen asleep. In hopes of not disturbing her, I rose slowly and gently placed her on the bed. She moaned in her slumber, but did not awaken. Convinced that she would be out for a bit, I left her and headed for the little office they had provided for me.

A quick look at the clock informed me that Esme was already on her flight, so I knew there was no chance of reaching her. She had secured an estate rental outside of Seattle for us, close enough to the hospital, but far enough out that we would safely be able to hunt. I hoped that it would not be too long before we could move to a more permanent residence, although I was still unconvinced that a return to our Forks home was the best option.

I checked my e-mail and found a new message waiting from Rosalie and Emmett. They were still in South America, but making preparations to head back to Europe. Edward's trail had gone cold and it was obvious to all concerned that he did not want to be found. Their plans included stops in Italy and France, and then they hoped to return to us. As much as I missed them, I knew it was better that they not return immediately. If Bella were going to come back to us at all, it would be best not to rush her into dealing with a whole lot of personalities, especially Rosalie's.

Bella. My thoughts returned to her and I opened her file to review what, if anything, had been done to improve her situation. Her reaction to me holding her had given me a glimmer of hope that I would be able to reach her, but I didn't want to put too much into that thought yet.

Time passed quickly and I knew that dinner had most likely been served to the patients. I made my way back down to her room and knocked lightly before entering. Her food sat untouched, her back turned to the door.

I sensed she was awake and stopped as I heard the bed move slightly. She was rocking again, although it did not seem as panicked as earlier and that is when I heard it. Faint, almost non-existent, but I could hear her humming. I listened carefully for a moment and my stilled heart broke into a million pieces for her as I realized it was the melody that Edward had written for her. Her lullaby.

Not wanting to agitate her, I moved without a sound to perch on the end of the bed. The humming never stopped, but her heartbeat quickened its pace. I sat waiting, hoping she would turn her face to me but she didn't move.

"Bella, can you hear me?" I spoke softly, not wanting to startle her. This time her heartbeat increased noticeably. "Bella, it's Carlisle. Do you know who I am?" The humming stopped.

She turned slowly to face me, her eyes still closed. Her face, partially hidden by her hair, was even paler than I previously thought and her cheeks were sunken hollows - a ghost of her former self "Bella, open your eyes and look at me." I could feel the bed trembling beneath her. She was terrified, but on the edge of making a breakthrough. "Bella." Her eyes opened, fluttering against the harsh light of the room, but fought to focus. It was at that moment that I heard her whisper my name.

_**(Bella's POV)**_

_There are more voices whispering to me now. I fear that the taunting of the trees has finally driven me mad, yet I still have no peace. Memories continue to haunt me; visions of people I need to forget if I ever hope to regain my sanity. But the thought of forgetting tears another hole in my body and I feel myself curling inside, trying to ease the pain these mental wounds have caused._

_My melody still lingers and I strain to hear it, knowing that if I let it go there will be no more pain, but also realizing I will then feel nothing at all. I want; no I __**need**__ to feel something. I need to hold on so I don't forget. I can never forget._

_I feel rested. And the melody is clear in my head again. I know that he is not here with me, but he has not completely deserted me. I feel the fog around me lifting and I am able to breathe again, but this, too, terrifies me. What if, after all this time, it is false hope? What if I open myself up again only to have the nightmares become my reality?_

_I'm not alone. I sense his presence in the room. He says my name, but I know it isn't my Edward. I realize it will most likely never be my Edward again, but I also know I can't continue on this path because he is not coming back for me. It is time to make a choice._

_I will not be a victim any longer. I know that I have the strength to continue. The melody is loud and clear in my mind and I know as long as it plays, I will not forget. He may have taken everything from me, but he can not take that. I'll find him and I will prove him wrong. My mind is not a sieve. I will never forget, but can I forgive?_

_I open my eyes slowly; the bright lights are disorienting and temporarily blind me. The voice is still calling to me and I try to focus. I can see him sitting on the edge of the bed, reaching out to me, calling my name._

_The haze lifts. The kindest pair of eyes that I had ever known are gazing at me in fear. And I realize I am not alone. They have come back for me. I call his name. My throat is dry and my voice is strained, but I need him to hear me. "Carlisle"_

_I probably should have warned him before barrelling into his arms, but I know he is the last person I need to worry about as far as bloodlust is concerned. He looks relieved and, if at all possible, tired. I glance around the room and note that we are alone._

_I ask why he has come; my voice is still barely a whisper._

"_Where else would I be?" he responds. My hands are in his and for once he appears to be at a loss for words. All too soon he tells me he must leave and my body responds, the invisible wounds beginning to gape open and swallow me whole. Sensing my fear, Carlisle pulls me into a hug, promising to return in the morning with Esme. I nodded into his chest and held his final words close to my being, long after he left me, praying that I had heard him correctly. "We will not leave you again."_

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**_End of Chapter - Reviews are like my own brand of heroin - so please, please review!!_**


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N_**

**_Wow…I can't even put into words how much I appreciate all the reviews, comments etc on this story so far. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to give my little take on things a chance! In appreciation, Edward will be coming around with chocolate for everyone as soon as he makes his way back from South America!_**

**_Lolarosa….thanks for your advice, support and all the great laughs – Big hugs!_**

**_A massive thank you and much chocolate to my Beta Queen, changedbyEdward – thanks for your wisdom, support and tough love….MWAH!_**

**_Stephenie M…that lucky, lucky girl owns everything and I only wish I did. I do enjoy playing with her creations though!_**

**_Happy reading!_**

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**Chapter 4**

**_(Bella's POV)_**

As I watched the door close behind Carlisle, my heart filled with despair causing my body to curl into itself. I understood that he had to leave and I believed him when he said that he and Esme would return in the morning, but that didn't stop the terror of being alone.

I looked around the small room that had been my cell for what seemed like an eternity, and tried to convince myself that I could survive the night. I glanced at the table beside my bed and saw my prized novels sitting on top. Somewhere in the depths of my memory I remembered Charlie bringing them to me, but at the time I had been incapable of thanking him.

Charlie. My heart ached when I realized what my parents must have been through over the past few months. All I had to do was look around the room to realize how terrifying it must have been and how it must have torn them apart to place me in a mental facility. As horrible as I felt for them, I knew I was not ready to speak with either of my parents.

The first question would be "What happened?" and I was not ready to share that with anyone. Carlisle hadn't asked and I hoped that he wouldn't; at least for awhile. I couldn't even allow myself to think of that day for fear that I would sink back into the pit of despair that had held me captive for so long.

I closed my eyes and heard the melody playing in my head. I would not forget.

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The nightmare came somewhere before dawn. Darkness surrounded me at every turn and I felt myself suffocating as the trees closed in on me. I heard the wind as it whispered through the branches, taunting me. But unlike so many times before, I was not alone in the forest. I saw them standing there, beckoning to me, and I felt hope course through my veins. My lullaby played loudly in my head as I fought my way out of the trees and towards my saviours. The smiles that lit their faces as I approached made my heart soar. They were beautiful and I loved them as if they were my own parents. Carlisle and Esme.

* * *

Morning finally came and I anxiously waited for my company to arrive. After the nurse brought in what I assumed was to be my breakfast, I looked in the drawer by my bed and found a hairbrush, toothbrush and toothpaste. "_Time for a human moment_." I stopped suddenly as my eyes began to well with tears. I leaned against the cool wall, closed my eyes and prayed for the moment of weakness to pass. And it did. I took several deep breaths to calm my shaken nerves and then washed my face, brushed my teeth and gaped in horror at what I had become.

My cheeks were sunken pits and I couldn't believe how pale I was. I had dark purple circles under both eyes and my hair lay lifelessly against my shoulders. I sighed in disgust and ran the brush through my hair, disentangling all the mats that had formed over God knows how long. I vaguely remembered a nurse doing this for me, but obviously it had not been recently. Convinced that I had all the tangled knots out, I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and glanced around the room, looking for something to change into. It appeared as though they didn't trust residents with clothes, so I was forced to stay in the ugly green hospital gown. I returned to the bed and tidied it, then messed it again as I sat and pushed myself up to lean against the headboard. I glanced one more time at the revolting tray; grabbed the only edible thing on it, an apple, then grabbed one of my books to read while I waited.

Time passed too slowly and I began to fear that my visit with Carlisle had been a hallucination. I turned the pages of _'Wuthering Heights'_ without taking in a word, praying that it had not all been a fantasy.

Then, just as I was about to give up, there was a light knock at my door. I answered, but my voice still didn't sound like my own. The door opened and my saviours had arrived. I felt the tears return as Esme flew to me and pulled me into her arms.

"Oh Bella, sweetheart," she cooed as she held me close and ran her hands comfortingly down my hair. She pulled back a little and held my face in her cool porcelain hands and gazed into my eyes. She gently wiped my tears and pulled me close again, pressing her icy lips to my forehead.

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(Carlisle's POV)

I had hated leaving so quickly after her breakthrough, but I also had known that she needed time to assess the day's events. She ate a bit of her supper for me before I left and it was obvious from the look on her face that it was as revolting to her as it was to me. I made a mental note to bring a few of her favorite snacks with us the next day.

I decided to not call Charlie until after the next visit with Bella. I hated the thought of giving him false hope and although I was convinced that she had come back to us to stay, I wanted to be sure. I spoke with Jennie before I left and we made several small notes in her file, but nothing in detail. I also put strict instructions that she was not to be drugged again, in any way, without my consultation.

I felt like a young schoolboy as I stood in the airport and waited for my beloved wife to arrive. We had been apart for longer stretches of time, but for some reason at that moment I just needed to feel her in my arms. Her scent came to me before I even saw her and I raised my head and found her soft caramel eyes searching for me.

Careful to not draw too much attention, she ran at human speed and launched herself into my arms, pressing her lips against mine. I have always thought that kissing Esme could only be compared to what I would feel should my heart start beating again and I am convince that it is a sensation that I will never get enough of. I heard a chuckle at the back of her throat as I clutched her close and swung her around in the air.

"We better stop. I would hate for us to be thrown out of the airport!" She murmured into my shoulder so I gently set her down and grabbed her hand in mine.

"We better grab your luggage and get out of here."

"No worries, my love. I have what I need in my carry-on and everything else is being shipped overnight. We should have everything at the house by tomorrow afternoon."

"My wife, the Martha Stewart of vampires!" She rapped me on the shoulder playfully as I nudged her chin up and teased her lips with another gentle kiss.

"You seem in better spirits than you have been in months. Tell me what has happened?" She cuddled in close to me as I led her out the doors and towards the parking lot where I had left the Mercedes.

"Let's go home, darling; I will fill you in on the way."

The drive to our rental property was fairly short, but I still had enough time to fill Esme in on the day's events. Her eyes glistened as she listened to me describe Bella's condition and the state I had found her in. She reached over and clasped my hand in hers and held it tightly for the rest of the drive.

As we entered the house we were to call home for the next while, she told me of her flight and the arrangements she had secured for the property. It always amazed me how she was able to find the perfect spot for us each time, and this house was no exception. It reminded me of a southern plantation, built of dark red brick, with large white pillars supporting a large wrap-around veranda. The house itself was spacious yet inviting with dark hardwood throughout, and it was almost a disappointment that we would not be able to stay permanently.

She led me through the vast hallway to a large den that she planned to use as a library. It had French doors off to one side that opened up to another deck and led to the forest beyond. It was stunning and would serve its purpose as a refuge for us perfectly.

"It's lovely, Esme. You have outdone yourself yet again."

She smiled up at me as she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me to her. Our lips met and melted together, warming with passion as each moment passed. I ran my hand down her back and she chuckled seductively.

"Shall I show you the rest of the house, my love?"

I swept her into my arms and carried her towards the staircase. "Only if the tour starts in the master bedroom…"

We spent the night locked in each other's embrace, cherishing each moment that we had together. We lay in bed lazily and watched as the sun found its way back into the sky and then rose to face the day, unsure of what lay ahead.

We made a few quick stops along the way to the hospital but still arrived in fairly good time, missing most of the rush hour traffic. We walked down the hall, hand in hand, and I felt Esme's anxiety as she glanced around the cold, bleak corridor. She had never been fond of hospitals, but even I found the building unwelcoming, so I couldn't blame her revulsion. I tightened my grip on her hand and smiled down at her.

"Carlisle, how long will we have to leave her in here?"

"I am not sure, my love." I smiled at an intern as he passed by, and then inwardly cringed as I saw his eyes wander over my wife's glorious body. I shook myself from the interruption and tightened my hold on her hand. "As soon as Bella feels strong enough to face the outside world, I can put in the recommendation for her release, but unfortunately…"

"Charlie has the final say." She finished my sentence. "But Bella is considered an adult now, does she have no say?"

"Unfortunately, no. She was incapacitated when they brought her in, so it is up to her legal guardian to allow her to leave." I sensed her worry and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. "Don't worry, darling. I am sure that once he sees that she is doing better, he will have her released."

"But what if he doesn't?" We stopped outside Bella's door and she raised her face and stared sadly into my eyes. "What if he keeps her in here to keep her away from Edward?"

I didn't know how to answer. It had crossed my mind that Charlie might insist on Bella remaining in the hospital just to protect her. It might ease his mind that he was doing his best to save her from harm, but in reality, if Edward decided he was going to see Bella, nothing would keep him away. The only person who could do so, would be Bella herself.

I glanced through the window before knocking and a sense of relief washed over me as a much brighter picture than the day before greeted me. I tapped lightly and after I heard a small invitation to enter, opened the door and we stepped inside.

I have always believed that there isn't anything in the world that comes close to a mother's love. Although we had only known Bella for a short time, Esme had accepted her into the family without hesitation. Fiercely protective, and full of unconditional love, I knew there was nothing that my wife would not do to protect a member of her family and Bella was no exception. Once, many decades ago, she had not been able to do so, and even though it was a faint human memory, it was something she would never allow to happen again.

I watched as they clung together, not speaking, but fully communicating as mother and daughter. Esme caressed Bella's face and I knew that she was shocked by what she saw, although she hid her feelings from Bella flawlessly. I hated to break up their reunion, but I needed to speak with Bella to be able to assess how to proceed with her treatment.

I pulled the visitor's chair around towards the bed and sat, facing her. Esme settled herself onto the bed beside Bella, her arm wrapped around her shoulders, and Bella curled towards her, still facing me, but resting her head against Esme's shoulder.

"How are you feeling, Bella? Do you remember our visit yesterday?"

She nodded. "I…" she hesitated, still trying to find her voice. "I'm doing ok, Carlisle. I just feel like I've been living in a fog that's finally starting to lift."

"Did you eat this morning?" I chuckled as I saw a familiar look of disgust cross her face.

"I ate the apple. The rest of what they brought was crap!"

Another checkmark along her road to recovery. There was animation in her voice and in her expression.

"Perhaps Esme has something more to your liking." Two different kinds of pop-tart boxes appeared in Esme's hands and I laughed as Bella dove for the strawberry flavored one.

"They would probably be better toasted, Bella," Esme scolded lightly, but Bella just grinned at her and bit into the biscuit. To us it looked and smelled like cardboard, but to Bella it was as if we had given her filet mignon. She closed her eyes and chewed, enjoying every morsel.

"Ah, real food!" She snickered at our expressions and popped the last piece into her mouth. I sensed that she was thinking of devouring another one, but hesitated. I motioned for her to go ahead and she popped open the blueberry box.

"Bella, do you remember why you were brought here?" Her chewing stopped and she looked at me, her eyes full of pain, but with a confidence that had not been there the day before. She nodded and placed the half-eaten pop tart on her nightstand.

"Yes, but I don't think I'm ready to talk about it. I don't know if I ever will be ready."

Esme tightened her hug and Bella looked up at her gratefully.

"We don't have to discuss why today, Isabella, but I need to know that you understand why you were brought here. I don't want to see you in here any longer than you need to be, so if it seems like I am prying, please understand that I only have your best interests at heart."

"What do I have to do to get out of here, Carlisle?" She asked quietly, as she lifted her eyes to meet mine.

"Well, I think the first thing we need to do is get you physically healthy. I am going to see what I can do about getting better meals for you and if things don't improve, we will make sure to have food brought in." I saw her struggling with the thought of us going out of our way to help her and I shook my head at her before she had the chance to argue.

"Bella, please let us do this for you. We love you and we want you healthy and free of this place." She leaned back and Esme smiled at her. "You know how much I love watching all those cooking shows! It will be wonderful for me to have the opportunity to test out my culinary skills on you."

"I would love that, Esme." She cleared her throat and looked at me again. "OK, so we get me looking more normal, what else?"

I fought back the grin as I heard the frustration in her voice – this was the Bella we knew and loved. "We will have to delve into some of the issues surrounding your arrival here; your parents will both have to see that you have improved; and you will have to have a complete physical exam before they release you." I thought the best way to handle the situation was to get everything out in the open. I understood that Bella was distressed over the fact that she would need to remain in the hospital indefinitely. Who could blame her? Figuring that she could use some one on one time with Esme, I mentioned some paperwork that I had waiting for me in my borrowed office. It wasn't completely untrue, although it was not as pressing as I had implied. What was pressing was the phone call I needed to make to Bella's father.

I knew the phone call to Charlie was not going to be an easy one to make. I was sure that he would be elated that Bella was walking and talking again, but I knew that he would want to visit immediately and his daughter had made it quite clear that she was not ready for that kind of interrogation yet.

I closed the door to my office, sat down at the desk and rested my head in my hands to think. I studied Bella's file again, even though I had committed everything to memory the first time I had read it. I didn't add anything else to the folder, as I was unsure how much I wanted on record concerning her recovery. I pushed away from the desk and turned to stare out the window. The sky was dark and overcast, a perfect day for us to be out and typical weather for Seattle. I watched the clouds move west towards the coast, and considered the options that lay ahead. The first being what I had discussed with Bella. The second was to ask Charlie to allow Esme and me to take her to our home and work with her there, an option that I doubted he would even consider. The third was to leave everything alone and wait to see if Edward would come to his senses and return for her. If this were to happen, the fact that she was in a mental institution would only aid in us covering her change with a "suicide". It was not an option that I wanted to explore, as I knew how much Bella would hate doing it to her parents, but it would be the convenient way out.

But was this even an option? Perhaps Edward had hurt Bella so badly she would not even consider joining our family. Yet again my thoughts turned to my oldest "son" and the disbelief that he could have done something so horrendous to Bella that she would end up in a mental institution. There had to be an explanation, even though it seemed utterly impossible to comprehend.

I returned to the desk and picked up the telephone, I knew I couldn't delay the impending call any longer.

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End of Chapter – Reviews keep the nightmares away! Help!! :o)


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N**_

_**First I want to say thanks to everyone who has taken the time to stop by and read my little tale. Your kind words have been very encouraging to this fanfic newbie! So glad y'all like it so far!**_

_**To my girls….LolaRosa – thanks for all the late night chats and moral support – much appreciated!! MWAH! And to ChangedbyEdward, my beta queen! Thanks so much for correcting all my errors and challenging me to be better – means a lot!! Much love! If you haven't had the opportunity to read the works of these two lovelies…..please run to their profiles here at FFN – AWESOME stories!**_

_**Last but not least, my undying appreciation to Ms. Meyers for creating these characters that we all love so well…..and wished we owned! **_

_**Enjoy!!**_

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Chapter 5

**(B****ella's POV)**

As much as I enjoyed my time with both my visitors, I was appreciative of the time alone with Esme when Carlisle stepped out. From the moment I had met her, she had been so welcoming and loving and I had missed her terribly when they had left me. As devoted as I was to Renee, Esme represented the mother figure that I had so desperately longed for in my life.

We sat, curled up together on the hospital bed, for a long time after Carlisle left. We didn't speak at first, but then Esme quietly began to tell me about the home she had been restoring in Ithaca. I listened carefully as she told me the history of the house and what she had done to bring it back to its former glory. I asked a few questions but mostly just sat and listened to the soothing bell tone of her voice.

I felt my eyes starting to droop and I fought against the exhaustion that was once again trying to claim me.

"It's alright, Bella; close your eyes and rest, sweetheart. I promise I won't leave you." She hugged me against her cool frame and I rested my head against her shoulder, unable to fight the pull any longer.

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**(Esme****'s POV)**

I held her close and let her drift off, hoping that she would get some peace in her slumber. I could tell just by looking at the amethyst-colored shadows under her eyes that she had not had a decent night's sleep in ages. Carlisle had mentioned that she had been suffering from nightmares, which in reality was nothing new for our Bella, but it pained me to know that one of my own was the cause of them now.

I brushed a few strands of her hair away from her face and studied the girl I so longed to call my daughter. The minute Edward brought her into our home our lives had changed for the better, but what had we done in return? I had known that night when Edward demanded we leave Forks that we were not making the right choice, but he was convinced it was the only option for fear of her safety. But what could possess him to think that this was a better situation for her? How could he not tell that even though she had not made the change physically, she had already left her human world behind?

The door of Bella's room opened and I lifted my eyes to meet those of my beloved. He crossed the room instantly and gently kissed my forehead, then traced down my nose to feather his lips against mine. A pleasant calm came over me and I smiled as he perched on the edge of the bed, holding my palm in his. His tender eyes grazed over the sleeping form next to me and I heard him quietly sigh.

"I spoke with Charlie." He spoke in a hushed tone that only I would be able to hear, not wanting to disturb Bella's nap.

"How did he react when you told him that she was more herself?" I shifted slightly to face him but not enough for Bella to notice.

"He was obviously grateful and relieved to hear that she was responding to us." Carlisle glanced towards the lunch tray that Bella had barely touched. "He is still very concerned that she isn't eating – her weight loss terrifies him more than anything, I think."

"That is understandable, Carlisle; she has become dreadfully thin. I think she may be smaller than Alice now and Bella is not meant to be that tiny." I brushed the hair away from her face so that we could study her complexion. "She is so pale. Her veins should not be so visible and her skin is not a healthy color by any means."

Carlisle nodded in agreement. "But she does look a little better than she did, Esme. I was horrified when I first saw her." He gently lifted her wrist in his hand and felt for her pulse, listening for it as well. I smiled as he did this – it always amazed me how human Carlisle could appear just by performing the simplest actions. After a few moments he placed her hand back against the blanket. "She is sleeping quite peacefully. Much better than yesterday."

He stood and walked towards the tiny window of her room. "I had a hard time convincing Charlie to hold off coming to see her. I think he planned to be on the road the minute he left work, but I begged him to wait just a bit longer. I am not sure how long he will truly wait."

"Did you bring up the possibility of having her come to live with us for awhile?" I knew that it was highly improbable that Charlie would even consider it, but it was something that Carlisle and I both felt would help Bella the most.

"I did not. I knew there was no point. He is grateful to a point for our helping her, but he is terrified that Edward will return and that we will allow him access to her." Carlisle turned from the window to look at Bella. "To be totally honest, I'm not so sure that I blame him."

I felt Bella move against me and noticed a slight change in her breathing so glanced down to see if she was still asleep. As she opened her eyes and looked up at me, it was easy to tell from the frustrated look on her face that she had heard Carlisle's last comment about her father.

"OK, Carlisle, spill the beans. What did my dear old Dad have to say?" she asked with a hint of resignation in her voice.

Carlisle looked at her and smiled a grin that I had not seen on his face in a long time.

"Bella, you almost had me thinking you were able to read minds." A look of regret immediately crossed his face and I knew that he was afraid that the reminder of Edward might upset her.

Bella sat up and squirmed around to sit beside me, leaning back against the wall. "Don't worry about me, Carlisle. I don't want you to feel like you're walking on eggshells around me. I know that I'm not in the best shape, but I'm not as fragile as you all believe." She cleared her throat and looked him square in the eye. "How long do I have before I have to face Charlie?"

Yet another sign that Bella was on her way back to her old self. Carlisle sat in the chair and leaned in towards the bed. "I'm not sure, Bella. I convinced him to give you a bit of time, but you know your father better than I do. How patient a man is he?"

A faint smile touched her lips. "Not very."

I took Bella's hand in mine. "Bella, you know that he is only concerned for your welfare. You can't blame a father for fearing for his daughter's safety and well-being."

"I know, Esme, and I love him dearly." She sighed and played with my ring. "I just can't handle the questions yet."

"Bella, all I can do is keep him abreast of your progress and try and convince him to wait." Carlisle glanced at his watch and I sensed that our visit with Bella was coming to an end. "Bella, they are going to bring your dinner shortly and I want you to try and eat some of it even though it isn't altogether appetizing by any means. Starting tomorrow there will be a big improvement in your meals however. I stopped at the nurse's station and informed them that we would be looking after your meals after today."

Carlisle stood and watched as I leaned towards Bella and kissed her gently on the forehead. "I will be back tomorrow, sweetheart. Try and eat, ok?"

Bella nodded and although I could see the look of dread cross her face at the thought of us leaving her again, I knew that we did not have the option to stay and that she understood as well. Carlisle squeezed her hand in his and bid her goodnight, promising to see her first thing in the morning.

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**(Bella's POV)**

They brought me my tray moments after Carlisle and Esme left and I rolled my eyes at their lame attempt of macaroni and cheese. I grimaced, closed my eyes, and forced a few forkfuls down my throat. I shoved that away and drank the milk that accompanied my food, thankful that there wasn't anything that they could really do to ruin it. I poked at the orange Jell-O with my plastic spoon and when it didn't even jiggle, I decided that Carlisle would forgive me for not trying it. I pushed the dining table away from the bed so I wouldn't have to watch the Jell-O shrivel, and closed my eyes to consider the day's events.

Sitting and visiting with the two of them had been wonderful. I still felt shell-shocked from the whole family deserting me, but having Carlisle and Esme return to me eased the pain a little. I felt stronger than I had in a long time, and although I knew I couldn't let myself completely depend on them, it was nice to feel as though they were on my side. _When had it become about sides?_ _What did I do to make him stop loving me?_ I felt the knot building in my chest, but I mentally pushed it back down so that I could think. He obviously had decided I was not worth the effort and that hurt more than anything because it was what I had always believed. But if that were the case, why would Esme and Carlisle return to me? I hated to think it was guilt that had brought them back, but even if it was, I wasn't sure that I would or even could fight it.

For so long I had dreamed of being part of their life – a member of their family. It had not been something Edward would even discuss, but I knew that the rest of the Cullens thought about it. How could they not? Although they had always made me feel welcome in their home, I knew it was difficult for them to have a human so close. There was always the fear that something could happen to cause one of them to attack me, a perfect example being my birthday party. It would be so much simpler if they would allow me to make the sacrifice so that constant worry could be laid to rest. If I couldn't have Edward, could I not still have them as a family? I closed my eyes and rested my head against the pillow. As I fell asleep, I found myself pondering the possibility of becoming a vampire yet again.

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_**End of Chapter**__**- please, please review!! Reviews might make Edward want to come home sooner!**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N **_

_**Another chapter!! Flowers, chocolate and heaps of love to my beta queen, ChangedbyEdward, for her speedy, thorough and helpful editing talent! **_

_**My other partner in crime, LolaRosa, has written a beautiful one-shot for the "When Love Was New" contest. The story is called "Fated Love" and is wonderful….please go and check it out under her profile!**_

_**As always…S Meyers owns all…I just borrow!!!**_

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_**Chapter 6**_

_**(B**__**ella's POV)**_

Weeks flew by in a blur, filled with daily visits from my small support group that had grown to three. A nurse named Jennie, whom I recognized from the Forks Hospital, had started stopping in at the beginning and end of her shifts. I vaguely remembered her as being the one looking after me at the very beginning of my stay, but I didn't mention it and neither did she.

There had appeared to be some sort of private joke between Carlisle and Esme regarding Nurse Jennie and I had wanted to ask Esme but I didn't have the nerve. One morning after a particularly obvious chuckle between the two of them, Carlisle caught my inquisitive look. I was sure if his face could have been red with embarrassment, it would have been, and it was absolutely hilarious watching him make his hasty retreat from my room. Esme just laughed all the harder and then filled me in on how she had teased Carlisle about his nurse fantasy. Even though it was hilarious, I felt a little bad for him as well. It didn't stop me from laughing though.

True to her word, Esme had taken over making my meals and my obvious weight gain was proof. She made sure to find out all my favourite dishes and although I was feeling a little guilty, I appreciated not having to eat the hospital slop. The colour, or what little colour I had to start with, had returned to my face and the purple shadows under my eyes had faded to a subtle shade of lavender.

Carlisle was pleased with the progress I was making physically, but I knew he was anxious to start working through my other problems. I still was not able to discuss what had happened. The ache in my chest was still there, gnawing through anytime I allowed myself to think of Edward or what had happened that day.

I noticed another subtle change as well. I was no longer kept under lockdown during the day, which really didn't mean much since I had no plans to venture far in my lovely green hospital gown. Esme remedied that as well, arriving one morning with enough shopping bags to put Alice to shame, chalk full of jeans, t-shirts, sweatshirts and other necessities.

She grinned when I came barrelling out of the bathroom towards her, hugging her marble-like frame.

"I feel human again!" Esme laughed at my choice of words.

"Oh my dear Bella, you have always looked human, but now you look to be amongst the living!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door. "How about a walk outside?"

I glanced quickly towards the window and spotting the heavy, grey rain clouds pushing across the sky, nodded eagerly.

The nurses glanced at us warily as we headed out into the fenced yard behind the hospital. Carlisle was waiting for us on a bench and smiled as we approached. I fell in between the two and we took up a leisurely pace. It felt so good to be out of my room and breathing in the crisp, spring air. I looked around in amazement, seeing everything coming back to life and was grateful to be able to appreciate it.

As we turned back towards the hospital, my knees buckled. I heard Esme inhale deeply and Carlisle squeezed my hand in encouragement. Charlie stood as still as a statue, watching me walk towards him. When I was close enough to see the tears glistening as they rolled down his cheeks, I broke into a run, not stopping until I felt his strong arms tighten around me.

"Bells" was all he could choke out as he hugged me to his chest.

I looked up and raised my free hand to wipe his tears away. "I'm so sorry, Dad."

He didn't say anything, just kissed the top of my head and leaned back to look at me more closely. I motioned to a nearby bench and we walked towards it, never letting go of each other's hand. We sat in comfortable silence and I looked around to see that my loyal supporters were sitting at the far end of the walkway. It felt good to know that they were close if I needed them, but far enough away to give us a chance to talk privately.

The quiet between us started to take on awkwardness so I cleared my throat to break the silence. "So…have you, Billy and Harry been fishing lately?"

He looked at me strangely as if he was unsure how to answer and then shrugged. "A bit. Not as much lately 'cause Harry hasn't been doing too well. He says he's fine but I can tell his ticker's been botherin' him." He paused, "Billy and Jacob have been askin' for you. They said to say 'hello'."

I nodded, knowing that my father was already at a loss for words. I could feel him watching me, waiting for me to crumble. I shifted in my seat to look him square in the eye. "Dad, I want out of here."

A look of fear danced across his face and he looked down at the ground, trying to hide it from me. "I don't know if that's such a good idea, Bells."

"I know you think I'm not ready and I understand what I have put you and Mom through, but I can't stay in here forever, Dad."

He ran his hand over his hair, exasperated. "What does Carlisle say about this?"

I glanced down towards them, knowing they were listening to every word, even though they appeared to be lost in their own conversation. "We haven't really talked about it yet. I am still working through everything, but the one thing I need you to know is that I am not ready to go back to Forks yet."

"So you want to go to Jacksonville, your mother will be pleased." I couldn't help but hear the hurt in his voice even though he tried to hide it.

"No, I don't want to go to Florida either. I was thinking of staying here, in Seattle."

"On your own?!" The calibre of his voice raised a few notches. "There is no way in hell that I am signing you out of here so that you can find some apartment to wallow away in. No, Bella!"

I closed my eyes briefly, willing a sense of calm to rise to the surface. "What if I had a roommate? Or if I found a family to board with?" I hesitated, only for a second. "Or what if I stay with Carlisle and Esme for awhile?"

"Did they put this idea in your head?"

I could see him wrestling to keep his temper in check and knew I probably shouldn't try to push things. "No, Dad, this is just something I've been tossing around in my head."

"And what happens when Edward comes back? He's already done enough damage, don't you think?"

My chest tightened at the mention of his name, but I fought to keep my emotions in check. "You can't protect me forever, Dad. Yes, I got hurt and I didn't cope with the situation well, not at all really, but I'm here. I survived." I kicked at a stone with my shoe, taking a deep breath before I continued. "If Edward comes back then I will learn to deal with that, too."

* * *

_**(**__**Carlisle's POV)**_

Once I was sure that Bella was back on even ground with her father, Esme and I made our way over towards them. I wanted to speak with Charlie privately so Esme asked Bella to go inside with her. After Charlie promised to stop in and say goodbye before heading back to Forks, she squeezed his hand affectionately and they made their way back inside the hospital.

I sat down on the bench beside Charlie and waited.

"Carlisle, I want to thank you for all you and Esme have done for Bells. To be honest, I never thought this would work out."

I leaned back against the back of the bench and nodded. "I knew you had your doubts. I am just glad that we were able to help. She really has come a long way in a short time. She's working very hard to make herself well."

Charlie sighed. "And now you think I should let her leave this place."

I knew what Bella had told him, but I had to word it in a way that Charlie would accept. "I believe that she could accomplish more in a different environment, yes."

He sighed again and kicked at a rock on the pavement. I stifled a grin as I was once again reminded of how much the father and daughter were alike.

"I want what is best for Bella, Carlisle. I know she wants out of here and that she isn't ready to come home and I can understand why." He paused. "There are too many memories there. Did you ever find it strange how connected those two became so suddenly?"

His question caught me by surprise. I knew how much he blamed Edward for Bella's breakdown but I had always assumed that he had brushed what they had felt for each other off as "puppy love" and mostly one-sided on Bella's part.

"They were very connected, Charlie, and as much as I do not condone how Edward handled things, there is no doubt in my mind of the love those two share."

If he noticed that I spoke in the present tense, he didn't let on. "I don't know what Bells has told you about her mother and me," his voice was no more than a whisper, "but when Renee left I thought I knew heartbreak. It didn't hold a candle to this." He stood and shrugged his shoulders as if he were trying to shake the memories off. "I never want to see my little girl go through that again."

"Neither do I, Charlie." I stood and we started towards the hospital entrance. "So, how do you want to continue?"

"Bella mentioned boarding somewhere here in Seattle." He cleared his throat. "She even mentioned possibly staying with you and Esme."

"We would love to have her stay with us, Charlie. You know how we feel about her and it would be a good way for me to continue to monitor her progress. She still has a bit to go before she is 100 percent."

"And what happens when Edward returns?"

I turned to face him, father to father. "I will deal with Edward when the time comes. You have my word, Charlie. He will never cause Bella to suffer again."

I replayed the afternoon's events in my head and smiled at the memory of Bella's face lighting up when I informed her that Charlie had agreed to a discharge. I held off telling her the news until after he left, and was happy I had done so, as I am unsure how her father would have reacted to her excitement.

We planned a weekend visit first with the option of returning to the hospital on the off-chance that the change was too much for her all at once. Bella had initially scoffed at the idea, but once I stressed how important it was for her to gradually ease herself back into her day-to-day life, she agreed that it was probably for the best.

* * *

Esme and I headed for the forest as soon as we had returned home, giving chase to several deer until we had caught the scent of a bobcat, which Esme had enjoyed immensely. Sated, we lay together, gazing at the stars and discussing Bella's upcoming move and what it would mean for our family. Although we hadn't discussed the move with Bella previous to her meeting with her father, it was something we had truly hoped for. We had prepared Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett of what was most likely going to happen and unsurprisingly, they had all been quite pleased with the possibility. Even Rosalie had surprised us by asking if there was anything that she and Emmett could do to help.

We decided it would most likely be best for Bella if the family gradually returned home, rather than everyone returning at once, so we tentatively planned for Alice and Jasper to come in a month's time with Rose and Emmett returning shortly after summer solstice.

Only one detail remained undiscussed and not one of us was sure on how to proceed. So much had happened since that fateful September day and I had no idea how to even broach the subject with Edward. It was actually pretty difficult when I was unsure how to even find him.

I toyed with the laptop that sat in front of me, trying to compose an e-mail in my mind. I could hear Esme faintly humming in an upstairs bedroom, most likely putting the final touches on Bella's bedroom and it eased the tension of my current task. I was unsure whether or not Edward was even accessing his e-mail but I hoped that he had kept this one form of communication open when he had severed everything else. I understood that he could not be with us but surely he would have left us one way to contact him.

The blinking cursor emitted a steady beat, taunting me as I struggled with the various emotions that evolved from the simple thought of writing an e-mail. Sighing, and with a glance of the photo of Edward and Bella that Esme had brought for my desk, I began to write.

_Greetings Edward,_

_I hope that this e-mail finds you well. Esme and I have been quite concerned that we have not heard from you. Your brothers and sisters have not had any contact from you either and although we know you are unable to be with us at this time, we would appreciate some word from you so that we know you are alright._

_There are some matters that I need to discuss with you as soon as you feel you are able to call. I realize that you are suffering from some of the choices you have made and want you to know that you are not the only one who has regrets._

_Please contact me when you feel you are able – even a quick e-mail to put Esme's mind at ease._

_Deepest regards,_

_Carlisle_

I hit the send button before I had the chance to change my mind and then stood and turned out the light on my desk and headed for the stairs to find my wife. It would be awhile before we would have the house to ourselves again so I planned to make the most of what remained of the night.

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**_End of chapter - reviews are better than a new pair of jeans!!! Please review!!_**


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N - First and foremost - Lemon alert!!! Don't say I didn't warn ya! _**

**_Much love to my girls for the love, support and patience as I made my way through my first lemon.....y'all stopped me before I had my nails completely destroyed!! To my wonderful beta, ChangedbyEdward - I would be lost without ya! MWAH!! _**

**_To all of you who have stuck with me so far and left the kind reviews, etc.....THANK YOU!!! It means so much!!!!_**

**_Finally, Stephenie Meyer - thanks for creating these characters and letting us use them and if you ever decide to give them away.....LOL_**

**_And without further ado........_**

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Chapter 7

**(Esme's POV)**

The emotions of the day had been overwhelming. I knew it was only a matter of time before Charlie would come to see Bella and in all honesty, I had been expecting him for days. But when I saw him standing there watching us and felt Bella tense beside me, it was all I could do not to grab her and run.

I had nothing but respect for Bella's father, and after his revelation to Carlisle that afternoon, probably even more so. However, that didn't stop the fear that he would take Bella away from us. I realized it was selfish to feel that way, when in reality we had already stolen her from him. I was stunned beyond belief when Carlisle gave Bella the news that she would be coming to stay with us. I had hoped, but never dreamed that Charlie would agree and the exhilaration in Bella's face was a pleasure to watch.

We headed out to hunt as soon as we arrived home and it was almost euphoric, running through the trees, following the small herd of mule deer as they scattered through the forest. For so long, it had felt like Carlisle and I were simply going through the motions of surviving, but finally having Bella on the right track and coming to live with us had given us a new lease on life, so to speak.

I watched Carlisle take down two large deer and almost followed suit when the succulent aroma of bobcat wafted through the trees. I immediately veered to the left and found the feline, grooming himself after his own successful kill. I have never enjoyed the darkness taking over, but my hunger for that glorious creature fuelled the change and I rushed towards him, pouncing and rolling down the hill as he fought my grasp. Only the sound of his final growl made me hesitate, but I ended his suffering quickly as I drank from his jugular. His muscular body went limp in my arms and as I set the lifeless body down on the ground, an overwhelming sadness filled me once again for the life I had taken to sustain my own.

I was not alone long before I felt Carlisle's strong arms envelope me from behind as he pressed his lips against my hair. I leaned back into his embrace and let the misery drift away, knowing that it would return the next time I killed. I believe this feeling alone is what has kept me from ever taking the life of a human. Although I am able to push the feelings of sorrow away after hunting animals, I know for a fact I would never be able to forgive myself for the act of taking another human's life.

We buried the remains of the animals and then lay together, watching the stars above. I rested my head against Carlisle's chest and gazed into the sky, enjoying the hypnotizing feel of his fingers playing in my hair. It was quiet for awhile and I knew his thoughts had turned to Edward. With everything that had gone right over the past few weeks, this was the one issue that nagged at his subconscious. Wanting to lure him away from his dark thoughts, I told him about Bella's bedroom and what I had arranged. I had tried to keep everything as neutral as possible because I hoped in time she would want to choose her own theme and colors. Bella had a true artistic side and was already very decisive as to what she liked and what she didn't and I felt with a little guidance, it was perhaps a path she might well enjoy following.

Conversation soon switched to the family and the plan we had for re-introducing them into Bella's life on a somewhat stagnated schedule. Alice, obviously, had been the most difficult to convince that we needed to take small steps, but once she played the scenarios through in her mind, she knew what we requested was in Bella's best interest. Although Carlisle had not wanted to ask, I did not hesitate and questioned Alice if she had seen Edward in any of her visions. She was silent for a long time and I thought at first she didn't want to answer, but finally she revealed that the visions concerning Edward were all over the place and she could only ascribe it to his own confusion – he kept changing his mind.

I believe it was at that moment that Carlisle decided he had waited long enough and was going to try to contact Edward himself. We returned to the house, changed and he disappeared down to the study immediately. I considered following him but knew that he needed the time on his own to compose his thoughts, so made my way down the hall to Bella's quarters to make one final sweep and make sure the room was in order.

* * *

I fluffed the cushions, straightened the duvet and gazed around at the room I had decorated in earth tones, hoping she would find it warm and comfortable. I glanced at her bedside table and smiled at the photo of her with Alice and Jasper that we had taken last summer. Although we had been hesitant about returning to the baseball field after the unfortunate events with James, Victoria and Laurent, the first crack of thunder had brought Bella rushing to the staircase, with Alice on her heels, grinning from ear to ear. They tossed baseball gloves over the banister to Emmett and Jasper as they sang "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" loudly and off-key. It was probably one of the brightest memories of the summer and the grins on their faces in the picture captured the moment perfectly.

Content that Bella's room was ready for her, I headed towards the master bedroom with another plan in mind. The fire Carlisle had lit earlier in the evening was still throwing off a warm glow and I inhaled the spicy aroma of the cedar logs burning. The wood fireplaces had been a strong selling point of the house. Gas is much easier, but I love the scent of a wood burning fire. I wandered the room lighting various candles and then stood back to make sure that I had the effect I wanted. Satisfied, I turned the bed down, put the stereo on low and headed to the bathroom to prepare. I filled the oversized claw foot tub with steaming water and added my warm vanilla sugar bubble bath before slipping in to soak away the day. I leaned back and closed my eyes, letting the whispered classical melody soothe my mind as I reached for my loofa and dipped it into the water. I rubbed it against my skin and took pleasure in the light tingle it created against my body.

* * *

**(Carlisle's POV)**

When I entered the bedroom, I saw that my darling wife had the same thoughts as me and smiled at the lit candles and soft music playing. I stopped to add a small log to the fire, and leisurely made my way towards the bathroom, not wanting to disturb her.

The scent of vanilla and brown sugar permeated the air and I was enchanted by the glorious sight in front of me. Her body was completely relaxed as she hummed along to the music and ran a sponge against her body, the bubbles waving behind the graceful movement of her hand. The water was quite hot and I watched the steam rising in the room, adding to the mystical vision that my enchantress had created. Soundlessly, I discarded my clothing and approached the tub, not wanting to spoil the moment.

I knelt at the tub and gently took the sponge from her delicate fingers as I brushed my lips against the back of her neck. She had pulled her caramel hair into a loose bun and a few tendrils had fallen out, curling against her neck with the humidity. She sighed contentedly as I ran the wet sponge along her shoulders and she moved forward in the large tub, giving me room to slide in behind her. After I settled in, she leaned back against me, turning her face up to look at me, her eyes dark with want. I crushed her mouth with mine, nibbling at her succulent lips as our tongues danced together. I lifted her in the tub and turned her to face me, her nipples hardening into tiny buds as she pressed herself against my chest, devouring my kisses. She wrapped her arms around my neck and her fingers found their way into my hair, pulling me close to her as she hungrily rubbed herself against me. Raising my knees to give her support as she straddled me in the tub, I took her breast in my mouth, suckling at the rosebud, teasing the other nipple with my soapy fingers. She whimpered in delight and rocked her hips back and forth, taunting my shaft with her wetness. The dark desire in her eyes begged me to satisfy her hunger. I nipped at one nipple, then the other, her nails digging into my triceps as she fought against the ebb of orgasm that was trying to engulf her. Pushing away, she stood in the tub and stepped over the side, reaching into the stall shower and turning on the water. I watched her every movement as she entered the dark marble encasing and pressed herself against the wall letting the streaming jets wash the bubbles away. She faced the wall and glanced over her shoulder at me, her eyes beckoning for me to join her. I was out of the tub in an instant.

I pressed my hard shaft against her and she moaned, bucking back at me. I chuckled and reached around to cup her breasts, pinching her nipples in the same motion, then gradually slid my hands down her stomach as I knelt in the shower. I spread her legs and teased at the gentle folds of her tender lips with my tongue. She gasped as I gently nipped at the edges, pushing first one finger and then another inside of her as I lapped at the sweet honey that flowed from her body. She turned slowly, like a ballerina performing an arabesque, and pressed her back against the shower wall, her hands grasping the sides of my head, silently pleading for my tongue and fingers to explore deeper. I buried my face into her and inhaled the sweetness, teasing her clit with my tongue, as my fingers stroked, bringing her closer and closer to the edge of euphoria.

"Carlisle, oh right there. Oh…" She moaned deliriously and pressed her tiny fist to her mouth as I felt the first wave take over her being. She writhed against my mouth and hands as I drank in her juices. I clutched her buttocks, earning me further access to her sweet nectar.

The hot water was starting to cool so I reached behind us and turned off the taps, slowly rising to stand as I ran tiny kisses up her stomach, between her exquisite breasts and up her beautiful neck to her chin. Her eyes met mine as our tongues tangled together, and I felt her wrap her wet legs around my waist, grinding her soaked core against my member. I moaned and pulled her close, stepping out of the shower.

Our lips never separated as I carried her back into our bedroom, bypassing the bed, and gently laid her against the luxurious bear rug that lay before the fireplace. Esme ran her delicate hands up my bare chest, attempting to pull me down to her. I smiled wickedly and shook my head which made her pout, silently begging me to give into her. I reached up to the large armchair beside me and pulled a silk scarf from its seat. Her eyes further darkened with excitement as I trailed the edge of the scarf across her breasts, returning her nipples to taut peaks. I leaned down and trailed tiny kisses over the path the scarf had just travelled, reaching for one of her hands and then the other, pinning them above her head. As I straddled her body, she arched her back, trying to provoke me to the point of no return. I chuckled and shook my head once again before wrapping the scarf around her wrists, and securing it around the leg of the armchair.

She whimpered quietly, knowing it would have little effect. This was a game she knew she could not win, no matter how hard she tried. Satisfied that my little minx could not escape, as long as she went along with my scheme, I reached for one of the candles she had placed so innocently on the end table. Her eyes glazed over and she moaned in pleasure as I tipped it towards her, letting the hot wax drip against her already hardened nipple. Her moans grew more urgent as I ran my finger through the hot wax, creating designs against her porcelain skin. The wax hardened quickly against her cool marble breast, but softened as I let more of the hot liquid fall against her skin. Her body writhed beneath me, and mine betrayed me in response, telling me the game was near completion. I leaned down and kissed her, more urgently this time, as I massaged the hot wax over her breasts. She pressed herself against my leg, so wet and ready for me.

Wiping the dried wax from her skin, I grazed her nipples with my lips and teeth once more as I positioned myself against her entry. My cock teased at the swollen edges of her opening and she squirmed again, trying to envelope herself around me. I grasped her dancing hips with my hands and thrust into her hot core, moaning as her velvet center claimed me as her own. Her hands came free from their silken bonds and she pushed her fingers through my hair, pulling my mouth to hers to distract me as she flipped me onto my back with her vampire strength. I heard her bell-like chuckle as she settled against my raging staff. She would show me little mercy now. Her nails trailed down my chest, and I moaned, urging her to ride me hard. It was her turn to deny me as she sat for a moment, taking pleasure in having my full erection inside of her. Slowly she began to move, her hips rising and lowering at a gentle pace. Her eyes closed and her hair had fallen from its bun, causing her to resemble a beautiful golden nymph. I was mesmerized by her beauty and the rush of love that coursed through my being at that moment was almost too much to bear. Sensing my need and her own, Esme leaned away from me, arching her back and quickened her stride. Knowing we were both close, she clasped her hands with mine and pressed my arms against the floor as she increased the pace again, my shaft sliding in and out of her, glistening with her hot honey. My body tensed against hers as we climaxed together in a rush, her glorious frame falling against mine as she pressed her lips to my neck, whispering my name over and over.

We lay tangled together in front of the fire for a long time, worshipping each other in silence. As the flames died away, leaving the embers to glow in the darkness, I pulled her against me, kissing the top of her head and moved to add one more log to the fire. She watched me closely, not moving an inch and held her hand out for me to return to our bed of fur. I lay behind her, pulling her against my chest, and we watched the flames together. I pressed my nose against her shoulder, intoxicated by the scent of her vanilla sugar bath. She sighed contentedly and snuggled towards me, the heat rising between us again. I leaned my face towards her, begging for a kiss, only to be distracted by the irritable ringing of the phone.

I lunged for the despicable piece of equipment, damning its invention to hell, as Esme giggled at my frustration. Her laughter quickly ended as I turned to face her, the answered phone pressed against my ear and a look of disbelief etched on my face.

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_**End of chapter - hope you enjoyed it! Please, please review! Thanks!**_


	8. Chapter 8

**_A/N - My apologies for the delay in posting - a bit of RL got in the way! Hugs and kisses to all who have reviewed, added to favorites and alerts, I was thrilled to hit over 100 reviews...it is wonderful having someone show appreciation or even constructive criticsim of your work!_**

**_Many thanks and much love as always to my wonderful beta, changedbyEdward for all the encouragement and work she puts into making my stories better! MWAH! If ya get the chance, stop by her profile and read the new one shot she has written, Bring Me to Life - just a jewel! Also, another of her stories, The Letter, has been nominated for a SPARKLE award! Please head over to www(dot)thesparkleawards(dot)webs(dot)com _****_before November 8 to vote for this awesome story!_**

**_As always many thanks to S Meyer for creating and sharing these characters - she owns all but I wish I did! Now on to chapter 8!_**

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**_Chapter 8 _**

**_(Edward's POV)_**

I lay on my stomach on the large stone slab far above the city and watched as the lights of Buenos Aires gradually came to life. Twilight. It had always been my favorite time of the day and even more so after I met her. She brought joy into my life, especially late in the night, when we lay together in her bedroom, talking for hours. Before Bella, I had dreaded the dark night that followed dusk – hated the loneliness of it, but then she came into my life and everything changed. And then six months ago everything changed again.

My self-imposed exile from everything I cherished was beginning to take its toll. Thoughts of Bella constantly fought their way into my subconscious even though I wanted them to stay hidden in the dark recesses of my mind. Although it had been nearly a century since my heart had stopped beating – I felt a dull ache in my chest since the day I left her in the forest. I had gone to meet her, prepared for a fight that never came. She believed every word I told her and didn't even try to follow when I said my final goodbye. Perhaps her feelings for me had not been as strong as she or I had believed. I saw the devastation in her eyes but I hoped that she had not suffered for long and that she had moved on with her life. There was no doubt in my mind that Mike or Tyler would have been there to help her forget.

The venom surged into my throat and I crushed to dust the stone I had been tossing from hand to hand. The thought of anyone touching my Bella sickened me and was the main reason I kept fighting the impulse to return to Forks. Although I believed my choice had been what was best for her, it didn't mean I could stand silently by as she moved on with her life. When I told her it would be as if I had never existed, part of me had hoped I would be able to close off that part of my life as well, even though I knew I would never be able to forget her.

I rolled onto my back, clasping my fingers together, and stared into the darkening sky. Thousands of diamonds twinkled at me and I closed my eyes, unwilling to allow them to cheer me. This was a mistake as well, because Bella was waiting for me there. Her mahogany tresses fell softly against her shoulders and her doe-like eyes sparkled at me as a soft pink blush warmed her cheeks. She smiled and beckoned for me to come back to her. I forced my eyes open and pushed her vision away.

She was not my only regret, however. My family was never far from my thoughts and I missed them terribly. I knew they had been trying to track me and truth be told, Emmett and Rose had come very close in their search, but I had avoided them and sensed their defeat, even though they had not been close enough for me to hear their thoughts. I couldn't talk to them. Not yet. I had been avoiding the family's phone calls, e-mails – I just couldn't bring myself to allow contact in the possibility that they would have news about Bella.

I had chosen to do what I believed was best for her. It was the only option to keep her safe. Her life had fallen into peril far too many times in the short time we had been together and I could not bear the thought of another close call or worse. She was so young and I knew that even though she felt she was ready to make the choice of eternity, it would be a mistake that she would grow to resent me for and I could not bear that pain.

My exile to South America had been, for the most part, a failure. Although I had been able to keep my family a safe distance from me, I had hoped that the time away would not only ease the pain of leaving Bella, but that it would be a learning experience as well. I had come to Buenos Aires for a reason – Victoria. Although she never appeared to us, I knew that she remained in Forks until after the prom. I assumed she was waiting for James or Laurent to return to her, but she seemed to disappear fairly quickly once she realized something had happened. I didn't really believe that she would harm Bella; however, I did want to avoid any potential threat. Trying my hand at tracking seemed to be a reasonable solution. My exile would serve two purposes, not only would it distance me from the memories, I would also have the distraction of tracking Victoria to help me cope.

At first, her trail was easy to follow as she made her way down the coast and into Mexico – there were always fresh bodies left in the wake of her passing through, but what concerned me was the pattern that seemed to be forming as I followed her. Her victims always appeared to be young lovers and the kills became more vengeful each time. My fear grew as I began finding only female remains because I knew that she had changed her ways and had begun forming an army of sorts. At first I hoped she had only made a new companion for herself, but my instincts told me it was far worse than that. I followed the remains and her trail all the way down to Buenos Aires and that was where the track had gone cold.

I stretched languidly and jumped off the rock, readying myself for my return to the city. I knew my time in South America was coming to an end, whether I continued my hopeless tracking or bit the bullet and returned to my family. I knew that Bella's memory was etched into my being and would never fade, but I believed that enough time had passed that my family might have been able to move on. Hopefully, their new projects and plans were well underway and would offer me enough distraction to be able to be near them and suffer my lost love's torment in silence.

I returned to the hotel room that I had been living out of for the past few weeks and threw my belongings together quickly, eager to depart now that my mind was set. I knew that it was not going to be an easy return to the fold; there would be many questions that I did not want to answer. Carlisle would perhaps be a buffer for me at first, but I knew that Alice would not let things go. She had been the angriest of all my family members when she realized what I had decided to do and her wrath was not something I cherished encountering, but I missed her pixie laugh more than anything and longed to have that camaraderie again.

I reached for my laptop and pulled up a link to the airline, booking the first available flight from Buenos Aires. I would have a bit of a layover waiting for a connection, but I was just happy to have it set in stone. I moved to close down when I noticed the blinking mail notification in the corner. _"Well, you're going to have to face them sometime,"_ I thought as I opened my e-mail account. I had moved anything from the family into a folder, leaving them unopened, but seeing that this came from Carlisle, I inhaled deeply and read his brief e-mail.

It was obvious from the tone of the note that I had hurt him deeply with my silence, yet another item to add to my growing list of regrets. The last time I had left him for this long had been shortly after Esme joined us and things had not gone well for me. But Carlisle, ever the forgiving father, had welcomed me back with open arms, and for that I would always be grateful. I knew this time I could at least return to him with a clear conscience of not taking a human life, but I was still unsure as to whether or not he would be as welcoming as before.

My love affair with a human had not been easy on my family. They had grown attached to Bella in their own way and I knew that Carlisle and Esme had truly hoped she would become one of us. I closed my eyes and stretched out on the bed, fighting the visions of her yet again. I am selfish by nature, but not even that trait could make me curse Bella to this hellish existence. The thought of destroying her soul to have her with me for all eternity was the one temptation that I had to avoid at all costs.

I sat up and stared at the white screen of the e-mail I had left open, wondering how I should respond. There would be no surprising them, as Alice probably had already alerted them that I had finally made up my mind to return to the life of the living, or our interpretation of it.

There were no words I could type that would ease Carlisle's hurt. That could only be resolved with time. I closed the laptop and packed it as well, taking one last sweeping look around the room before leaving. I had a few hours to kill before heading for the airport, but knew that it would be best to hunt before boarding a crowded flight to the States. Satisfied I had everything, I headed out into the night.

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**_(Carlisle's pov)_**

I held the phone close to my ear and fought the venom that rose to my throat as I listened carefully to the details that were being laid out to me. I glanced once at Esme and she knew instantly that the pleasant moments we had just shared had been destroyed by a simple phone call. She gathered the blankets we had scattered and left the room silently, not wanting to distract me from the caller.

"Carlisle, you can't let her know what's happened," Jacob's deep timbre begged to me through the phone.

"I understand, Jacob, but it isn't something that I will be able to keep from her for very long." I closed my eyes, dreading the discussion that would have to come to pass. "It will only be a matter of time before it's all over the news and I don't want Bella to find out that way."

Jacob's silence at the other end of the line seemed to go on forever. Finally, I heard him sigh. "I know. You're right. I just hate the thought of her having to deal with this after all she's been through." He cleared his throat. "You'll tell her to call me if she needs me?"

I could hear the doubt in his voice. "Yes, Jacob. I will spare her from as much of the pain as I can and of course, I will let her know that she can contact you." I took his grunt as an acknowledgement and closed the connection.

"What is it, Carlisle, what's happened?" Esme had returned to our room, freshly showered and fully clothed. The urgency in her voice told me that she knew that it had been horrible news, even without seeing the dread written all over my face.

I turned slowly to face her. "Charlie is dead."

The words echoed through the room like thunder and I swallowed again at the venom that surged to my throat as I relayed the disturbing news. Esme's body shook with unshed tears as she mourned the loss of Bella's father and the horror of having to deliver this news to Bella She sat in silence as I moved quickly around our room, pulling fresh clothing from the closet and dressing quickly. We had been eager to head to the hospital early to bring Bella back for her weekend with us, but now the thought of facing her was almost too much to bear.

Jacob had delivered the news to me hurriedly, choking back the disgust in his voice as he had given me the gruesome details. Charlie had returned to Forks from Seattle and had gone to the reservation to fill Billy and Jacob in on the improvements in Bella's condition. They had visited for awhile, but Charlie had headed home early, shortly after supper. Soon after his departure, Sam had summoned the pack; several vampires were in the area. At first, they had assumed that it was some of us returning to the house in Forks, but unfortunately that was not the case.

It was Jacob who found him, not far from his deserted cruiser. I cringed as I recalled the hurt in his voice as he described the tortured, beaten body he had discovered. Whoever had done this was out to send a message; there was no doubt in my mind. Charlie had been drained completely and discarded like a finished fast-food meal. What disturbed me more than anything though, was that some of the bite marks on his body had been healed over, which led me to only one conclusion. Whoever had taken Charlie's life had tried to change him first.

Esme stared at me in disbelief as I uttered the last statement. "Who would want to change Charlie Swan?" She shook her head as she moved towards me. "They had to realize what kind of risk they were taking, trying to change such a prominent person in the area?"

"There is only one person that I can think would hold such a grudge to do something like this." I watched the realization cross Esme's face and nodded as she spoke.

"Victoria." She sank into the chair by the fireplace and gripped the arms of the chair so tightly that I feared they would snap. "Oh my God, Carlisle. How are we going to tell Bella?"

I moved quickly to kneel in front of her and pulled her close. "I don't know, my love, but we need to deal with it soon and unfortunately, we are not going to be able to give Bella the sheltered return to real life we had hoped for. We need the family home as soon as possible."

Her butterscotch eyes searched mine, understanding immediately what I was not saying. Victoria was back and she was not going to rest until she had righted the wrong done to her. A mate for a mate. Bella was her conquest and if we were going to stop her, we needed the entire family, a united front. I closed my eyes and prayed to a God who I could only hope had not forsaken us, begging for the safe return of all of my family and begging for guidance in the task that lay ahead.

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_**End of chapter - reviews just might make my writing speed increase! :o)**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N - thanks for all the great feedback!!! I was terrifed you would all stone me for what happened to poor Charlie!**_

_**Many thanks to my wonderful beta, ChangedbyEdward for trudging through this so quickly after her much-needed vacation...much love and plenty of chocolate to you BB!**_

**_Big thanks as always to the owner of all things Twilight, Ms. Stephenie Meyer....thanks for letting us use your wonderful characters!_**

**_Please watch for an upcoming outtake to this story....will be a bit on the darkside so will leave it to y'all to figure out who's POV it will be written from!! Now on to..._**

**_Chapter 9!_**

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**_(Bella's POV)_**

I sat on the bed and dangled my feet above the floor, staring at the sparkling blue shoelaces that Esme had bought for my tennis shoes. They weren't something I would ever have picked out for myself, but truth be told, I rather liked the idea of sparkling just a little bit.

I chewed at my bottom lip and glanced at the clock for what seemed the millionth time. I was making my escape, albeit only for a weekend, but it was the first step to regaining my freedom and I was anxious to get going. Carlisle and Esme had promised to come to the hospital as early as possible, but I couldn't help but feel a twinge of fear in my stomach that they would change their minds.

I jumped off the bed and looked through the duffel bag that Esme had brought me the day before, ensuring I had everything I thought I would need for the weekend. Esme had assured me that there was plenty waiting in my closet at the house as well, but I had become quite attached to the clothing she had brought to the hospital. I guess the simple fact that I was able to discard the horrid green gown was enough for me to fall in love with a wardrobe.

Satisfied that everything was packed, I paced the room, stopping to glance out the tiny window that gave me a view of the parking lot. I spied a dark luxurious car making its way up the drive far too quickly and my heart jumped for joy. I grabbed the jacket that hung over the chair and slipped it on before tossing the duffel bag over my shoulder.

"Come in!" I yelled a little more loudly than I needed to when I heard the light rap at the door. Carlisle entered the room and glanced around, smiling a bit when he realized I was already on my way towards the door, bag in hand. I stopped and looked behind him, surprised to find him on his own. "Esme didn't come with you?"

"No Bella, she said she would see you at the house shortly. She just had a few things left to do so I came ahead. I hope that is ok?" Carlisle held the door for me as I grinned up at him.

"Everything is alright this morning, Carlisle! I 'm outta here – even if it's only for the weekend!" Carlisle smiled again but didn't say anything as he took the duffel bag from my hands and led me down the hall. We stopped briefly at the nurses' station so he could sign the required paperwork to spring me and then we headed for the parking lot.

The morning was crisp and cloudy and I pulled my jacket around me tightly as Carlisle dropped my bag into the trunk. "Ready to go, Bella?" he asked and I nodded, the grin spreading across my face. He smiled back at me and opened the car door, closing it carefully after he was sure I was settled in. He strode quickly, but at human speed, around the vehicle and soon we were on our way. I watched the passing scenery, being careful not to glance at the speedometer, for fear of losing the sense of calm that had come over me in leaving the hospital. I really did not understand the love of excessive speed that all vampires seem to have but the one piece of comfort I could take was that of all the vampires I had ridden with, Carlisle, being the oldest, had the most experience!

Soon the car slowed and we turned up a private lane. I felt my breath tighten in my chest as I took in the beauty of the massive mansion that spread across the substantial lawn we were approaching. It was exactly how Esme had described it and I truly felt swept back in time, waiting for Scarlett to rush out of the doors to greet us. "Welcome home, Bella," Carlisle said softly as he brought the Mercedes to a stop in the circular drive at the bottom of the steps.

"We have a bit of a surprise…" Carlisle's words were cut off as I heard my name being yelled out gleefully. Carlisle's face lit up as my eyes widened in surprise and the door of the car was yanked open with such force, I feared it would come off in the tiny pixie hands pulling on it.

"Bella – oh, Bella it's so good to see you!" Alice's crystal-like voice tinkled as she pulled me into a hug, lifting me out of the car as she did so. Her hug was bone-crushingly tight, but felt so good that I couldn't help but laugh.

"Alice, you're gonna break her." Jasper's deep southern drawl oozed with warmth and I looked up to meet his eyes staring at me, anxious, yet full of affection.

"Hello Jasper!" I smiled warmly at him and felt the same feeling spread over me ten-fold as the worry washed away from his face. I knew that he felt responsible for all that had happened, but I had never blamed him. Bloodlust was a constant battle for Jasper, and one that he had fought to conquer on a daily basis when I was with them. How could I blame him for following his instincts? It had been an accident and it was one that I realized we had all paid for dearly.

Alice linked arms with me and led the way into the house, Carlisle and Jasper bringing up the rear, my duffel bag swung casually over Carlisle's shoulder. Esme was waiting for us just inside the door and pulled me into her icy embrace. "Welcome home, Bella. We're so happy to have you with us again."

"Thank you." I turned to look at Carlisle as well. "Thank you both, so much, for everything. I can't even begin…" I stuttered as I felt the tears welling in my eyes.

"Isabella," Carlisle wrapped one arm around my shoulders as he clasped Esme's hand tightly. "You have nothing to thank us for. You know that we already consider you part of this family and you are welcome to stay with us for as long as you wish to."

I caught an undertone of urgency in Carlisle's voice, but before I could ask anything, Alice was pulling me towards the stairs, anxious to show me my room and see how Esme had filled my closet. Esme followed close behind and I looked back towards Jasper and Carlisle only to find that they had already disappeared to another part of the house. With no rescue in sight, I laughingly gave in to Alice and allowed her to lead me away.

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**_(Carlisle's POV)_**

I watched closely as Alice and Esme took Bella upstairs to show her the rest of the house and motioned for Jasper to follow me into the study. Closing the door behind him, he came and stood beside me, staring out into the evergreens.

"Thank you for coming so quickly, Jasper. I have no doubt that this news is going to be detrimental to Bella's recovery efforts and I didn't want to have to medicate her again. They kept her in such a fog at that wretched facility and I know that's why she was catatonic for so long."

"Carlisle, Alice was packed and ready to leave before you even called. She's had a vision about Edward. It appears he's made the decision to come home and is on his way to Ithaca." Jasper glanced at his watch. "Actually, he was due to arrive in New York at 10 pm tonight, so I would imagine that when he reaches the empty house, we'll be hearing from him."

"Well, that will most definitely complicate things, but in the same regard, it won't hurt to have him here as extra protection for Bella."

Jasper nodded. "Yes, but we aren't even sure if she wants to see him again." He moved towards the leather couch and dropped into it. "When do you want to tell her about Charlie?"

I sat down at the desk, facing him and thought for a moment before answering. "We need to tell her soon. I asked Esme to put all the televisions in storage until we had found the appropriate time to tell her." Jasper nodded and I continued. "You may not agree with what else I plan to do, Jasper."

"You're going to offer to turn her."

"I see that Alice has been looking at things from all angles." I smiled sadly at the thought of what she might have envisioned. "And do I dare ask what the outcome is?"

Jasper was silent for a moment and I felt a small surge of hope come over me. I smiled at him gratefully and he watched me carefully. "This is going to be a difficult time, Carlisle, there's no way around it. I can try to ease her pain as much as possible, but her father is very important to her and his loss is going to affect her greatly. Are you sure we should consider the change so soon after such horrid news?"

"No…I'm not sure. But I also know that she stands a far greater chance of surviving if she is one of us!" I stood to look out the glass doors again. "There is no doubt in my mind that Victoria is coming for her. I know that Edward would not agree, but I refuse to lose this girl because of his irrational fears."

"I think we need to tell her tonight then. Have you told her she won't be going back to the hospital?"

"No, but that really is the least of our worries. Bella didn't understand why she was only coming for the weekend in the first place, so I'm sure that she will be quite happy to find out that she won't be returning. If only I could keep her that happy."

"The one solace we can take is that her human memories will dim with the change. Perhaps she will even be able to let go of the melancholy surrounding Edward's departure." Jasper glanced at the mantel, eying the photograph of Rosalie and Emmett. "When are they due in?" he asked, nodding towards the picture.

"They should arrive sometime late tomorrow. I asked them to come by way of Florida so that they can check in on Renee and Phil. Bella hasn't heard from them at all since she woke up and I'm afraid of what they will find."

"You don't think that Victoria has been there as well?"

"How can I not think it? We both know how vindictive a wronged vampire can be. What would stop her from destroying anything and everything that Bella loved before destroying her? That way not only does she destroy Edward, but she has had the pleasure of torturing the human first."

Jasper nodded in agreement and we both turned towards the door as we heard the pleasant sounds of the girls' laughter as they returned downstairs. The door opened and the three of them wandered inside. I watched Bella closely as she stared in wonder at the walls of books lining the room.

"Wow, I don't think I've ever seen so many books in a private residence before!" She turned and took in the room with clear appreciation of everything that surrounded her. "Unbelievable."

"Please feel free to spend as much time in here as you want then, Bella. I know how much you love your books." I moved towards her to lead her over closer to the shelves, not wanting her to witness the look of sheer terror that had crossed Alice's face. Esme and Jasper moved to Alice quickly and shielded her from Bella's view. I listened carefully and her recovery was quick, but as Jasper sent waves of calm over the room, I knew that whatever she had witnessed was quite distressing.

Bella turned quickly towards the others, realizing something was amiss. "What's wrong? Alice, are you alright?" She moved towards her quickly, her foot catching against the overstuffed chair and lurching her forward. Jasper moved quickly to catch her and Bella laughed, shaking her head. "Some things never change!"

We all chuckled and the tension in the room was forgotten. Alice moved towards the door, a smile lighting her face as if the previous moments were a distant memory. "Come on, Bella, let me show you some of the designs I've been looking at for your fall wardrobe."

"Alice, it's only April…" Bella shook her head in disbelief at Alice. "I've missed you!"

"April is actually quite late to be looking, you know!" Bella's arm was once again locked in Alice's and she was leading her towards the main hall. "I know you missed me, Bella! I'm sure you haven't been shopping in ages!" Alice slapped her hand across her mouth the instant she uttered the words.

Bella just smiled, shaking her head lightly. "Don't worry about it, Alice. I can fill you in on the lovely shades of green that I've been wearing over the past few months." They left the room laughing with Esme following, closing the door silently behind her.

"What did she see, Jasper?" I turned to face him and realized that the situation had just become much worse.

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_**End of Chapter - please review or else I may have to send you all shopping with Alice!**_


	10. Chapter 10

**_A/N - I had originally planned for this chapter to be an outtake but my dear beta insisted that it should be part of the story....so here it is. I know it is short and I apologize but to make up for it, I promise you won't have to wait as long for Chapter 11. I now have to find a big box of chocolates to coerce ChangedbyEdward to beta again so soon!! LOL _**

**_Thanks to LolaRosa for all the support and putting up with my whining....I heart you lots bb! Speaking of which......please, please swing by her profile and check out the new Edward story she is writing called "Macabre" - just an awesome read and I am anxiously awaiting her next chapter!!!!_**

**_As always, Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight......lucky lucky girl._**

**_Without further ado........_**

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**Chapter 10**

**(Whose POV - should be fairly easy to figure out!!)**

As soon as I felt that I was far enough away that the wolves would not be able to catch me, I climbed a tree and perched there, hoping to have a few minutes to enjoy the act I had just committed. I scanned the landscape below, satisfied at once that I had lost them. The wolves had been a surprise, but almost a pleasant one – the excitement of the chase had given me a thrill I had not felt for months. Not since… I let my head fall back against the tree and allowed my inner thoughts to take over.

I remembered the moment I realized he wasn't coming back to me. I didn't understand the hollow ache that filled the spot where my heart once beat, but I knew that I was once again alone. Those first few days following that moment were now a blur to me. I lashed out at anything and everything around me. I was careless, leaving a trail of bodies in my wake, allowing myself to be tracked._ Foolish errors that I can't allow to happen again._

_We were to have met in Seattle, once he completed his little game of cat and mouse. I had begged to go with him, but as always, the thrill of the chase was to be a solo effort. I left for Seattle immediately, ignoring his order that I stay behind to play look-out. Truth be told, I had tired of his demanding ways and knew it would only be a matter of time before I left him. But that was to be my choice and now it has been taken away from me – forever._

_I revelled in the freedom of being on my own in Seattle once I realized that Laurent had indeed deserted our little group. It was no huge loss as he had become nothing more than a nuisance and I figured that we were well rid of him. James had found him intellectually stimulating, while I found him nothing more than a pain in the ass! His constant complaining and tales of how things had been done in the "good old days" were almost too much to bear. The only reason I hadn't snapped his neck and burned him was for fear that James would retaliate in anger too quickly for me to have the chance to appease him. But since Laurent made his exodus, I no longer had to deal with his monotonous tone. If only James had come back to me – it was always better when it was just the two of us._

I remembered the night so long ago when James found me. I was on my own then, too, well not really alone, as he had to kill the faceless monster that had his filthy hands all over me, but I was alone in my thoughts. As a child, I had always been able to escape to a place where evil couldn't reach me. Whether it was to dodge the snap of my father's belt against my bare legs, punishing me for the death of my mother as she gave birth to me; or later, to ignore the slimy touch of the cold hands of my uncle as he taught me the ways of the trade or finally, to avoid the countless men that followed suit once I had been taught – I was always able to find my way to that place where I felt safe.

I think he had planned to kill me as well – in fact I know he had.

_I had stared into his beautiful crimson eyes, begging for it, pleading with him to take me to a place where I would escape permanently. Something made him pause, though and I couldn't help but laugh when I saw what he had done to the garbage heap he had torn off of me. He laughed, too and hugged me close, both of us falling into fits of hysteria, only ending when his teeth sank deep into my throat._

Most of the memories previous to the burn were distant, but I could still remember his words echoing in my mind, promising that I would never again be the victim.

"_You will be the victorious one," he whispered as the darkness took me. _

Even my name was a mystery to me, but I adopted Victoria to reflect the words he had spoken as I suffered through the agonizing burn.

_When I awoke and discovered my new found strengths, I thanked him in the only way I knew, but instead of closing my mind to it, I allowed myself to live the experience and knew that I had found what I had longed for in my life. We were a matched pair and took pleasure in all the succulent gifts our life allowed. I never once feared he would leave me, never believed that he could be taken from me. _

_But now he is gone and I am alone._

It was beyond my comprehension how they were able to defeat him, but I will not rest until I make them suffer for what they have done.

Edward Cullen will know the pain I have endured. He will understand the sense of loss that eats away at my core. He will live on for eternity, regretting the moment he fell in love with a helpless human, not even having the balls to make her his own.

The human will be held accountable as well. I have plans for her that will tear her very heart to pieces. She will know loss, she will know sorrow and she will know death. She is already weak from the desertion of that pathetic excuse of a vampire. If goody-two shoes Cullen and his bitch hadn't shown up, my plan would have already been in motion. Although, their arrival really got my creative juices flowing and I can visualize the plan coming together nicely.

Her father would have been perfect if he had not tasted so damn wonderful. The lust for his blood overpowered me when I saw the look of fear in his eyes as he realized what I was and what I planned to do. If he hadn't struggled, hadn't fought, I could have finished it the way I had wanted to. A little disappointing, but I do not regret the feeling of exhilaration as his life faded away. He had been so easy to catch, it was almost disappointing, but the desire and fear that coursed through him as I buried my face in his neck was euphoric._ Such a good man, so willing to stop and aid a helpless woman on the side of the road. It was too easy._

_I wonder if she knows yet? Knows that I am coming for her and how I am going to make her pay for my loss? _Now that I am able to stand back and look at what I have done, I am glad that changing her father didn't work out. Seeing her in pain, falling to pieces bit by bit, will be so much more entertaining than just killing her.

And oh….to think of the pain it will cause poor Eddie. He will brood for eternity, knowing he should have changed her when he had the chance, knowing that the death of her loved ones, and there will be more, are all on his hands. The utter joy I will experience knowing I have caused them both such pain.

_I wonder how she will taste as I sink my teeth against her alabaster skin? _

I have considered turning her myself. What better torture for both of them than to make her into the one thing Cullen doesn't want? I could always turn her so that she suffers through the experience of becoming one of us and then kill her as she awakens… and have poor Edward witness the whole thing.

_Oh the plans I have to make…but now I am thirsty and think it is time to make my way to Forks for a bite. But whom shall I choose?_

The tempting choice is an impossible one, unfortunately. Even if I were able to lure him away from his pack and had several of my fledglings with me, I am not convinced I could take the Black boy, but oh what a victory that would be. I am sure Eddie wouldn't care either way, but the despair of his beloved would force him to retaliate, and I am not ready for this game to be over yet. Besides, I don't think I could stomach the stench of the dog for the length of time it would take to destroy him.

_No, I will have to settle for one of the simple humans the girl seems to have surrounded herself with. _

I identified several candidates before Edward decided to play the martyr and leave town. He really has forced me to put time and effort into this whole escapade, but it truly has taught me why James so loved to toy with humans. If only he were here now to share in this with me.

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**_End of Chapter - Reviews just might help keep Victoria at bay!!_**


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N - Once again thanks to everyone for the wonderful comments and feedback! It is very inspiring!**_

**_To my gals.....thanks for all the support, wisdom and laughter...and an extra thank you to my lovely beta, ChangedbyEdward, for helping me become a better writer...MWAH_**

**_and by now you know the drill.....all characters and everything related to Twilight belongs to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer - I am just borrowing!_**

**_And now on to....._**

_**Chapter Eleven**_

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_**(Edward's POV)**_

The rented Volvo purred quietly as I sat staring at the obviously empty Cullen residence. I had expected at least some of the family to be awaiting my arrival, but should have realized something was up when I wasn't able to hear anyone's thoughts as I neared the property. The large house sat dark and quiet, as if it were waiting for me to make a move.

Realizing I wasn't going to get any answers sitting in the driveway, I turned off the engine, grabbed my gear and headed up the steps. Finding a key in Esme's standard hiding place, I slid it into the lock and opened the heavy oak door.

"Hello?" No one answered and although I honestly hadn't expected anyone to, it just seemed the thing to do after the long day of travel. I turned slowly, taking in the expansive entrance that Esme had obviously been in the middle of restoring.

It was easy to surmise that it had been a few weeks since anyone had been to the house and that the family had left in a bit of a rush. Sheets covered the few pieces of furniture and a few newspapers lay on the floor, untouched, as if they had been thrown into the house on someone's way out.

Confused and a little frustrated, I prowled the house for a bit, knowing I needed to hunt before I planned my next move. The wildlife in Buenos Aires had been less than abundant and I knew that I would feel more myself after a trip through the lush forest surrounding the property. Venom surged to my throat as I contemplated the possibility of finding a mountain lion in the area, although in reality I knew I would most likely be dining on venison or bear.

It didn't take long to discover which bedroom was mine. I gazed around the room appreciatively, my mood lightening as I took inventory of my personal belongings. Then, as if struck by lightning, I found myself sitting on the edge of the bed, clutching a pewter frame to my chest.

My body, racked with tearless sobs, shuddered as I slowly brought the frame into focus. And there she was. My beautiful Bella. I gazed at the photograph, taking in each line of her reflection as it stared out at me.

Alice had convinced Bella to pose for the photo just before her eighteenth birthday. She had been playing around with some ideas for a costume party and had dressed Bella up as a 40's starlet, trying to capture the aura of Lana Turner or Grace Kelly. A smile came to my lips as I remembered Bella rolling her eyes at me whenever Alice wasn't looking, but she really had been a good sport, donning outfit after outfit as Alice directed shots, snapping away like she was Annie Liebovitz.

I hadn't been around to see the proofs from the shoot, but knew Esme must have picked the one she knew I would love. I lay back on the bed, clutching the frame tightly to my chest, losing myself to the memory of that day and the fateful days that followed shortly afterward.

I could not deny myself any longer, there was no use. Whether I was near her or not, our fates were sealed together, it was impossible to ignore. I had to go to Forks. I had to explain why I had made the choices I had made and said the horrible things I had said. I had to beg her forgiveness. I would give her anything – anything she wanted – to be a part of her life again. Except. Not that. It could never be that, even though I knew it would be the only thing that she would ask for. I hesitated. Is there a possibility that I am actually selfish enough to curse her very existence just to keep her near me? At one point I thought not, but now, weak from the loss of her and my exile from everyone else I cared for, I feared that I was to the point where I could be just that selfish.

The moment I tasted her blood in Phoenix was the point of no return for me. I knew at that precise second, intoxicated by her sweet essence, that denying myself was futile. When we had returned to Forks, I had fought the urge to attack her constantly and truth be told, I knew that my anger regarding Jasper's moment of weakness had only been a cover for my own bloodlust. I had shoved her away to protect her from me as much as Jasper. That truly offered the proof of what a monster I had become, as I couldn't even be honest enough to take the blame, instead allowing my 'brother' to shoulder the guilt. Bella was obviously not the only person I needed to beg forgiveness from.

Sighing, I traced my finger against the glass, and then slowly placed the frame back on its stand. There was no possibility of staying away, our fates were sealed and I would have to allow the cards to fall as they were meant to.

Opening the large bay window, I leapt out into the dark night, searching for sustenance and internal strength before my long trip home to Forks.

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_**(Bella's POV)**_

The house was quiet as I leaned back against the pillows and took in my surroundings. Esme had truly outdone herself – the room was something out of my lottery-winning fantasies. As I smiled with pleasure at the warm colours enveloping me, I dreaded the thought of returning to the cold sterile walls of the hospital, but knew that Carlisle only had my best interests at heart.

I closed my eyes and reflected on the day's events. Spending the afternoon with Alice had been both exhilarating and exhausting. I knew she had been concerned that I was angry with her for leaving, but honestly, the only person that I hadn't forgiven, other than myself, was Edward. We were both at fault in our relationship and now as I reflect on everything that happened, it is clear to me that it was doomed to fail. He had no right to be the only one to make the decisions in our relationship, but I was just as guilty for allowing him to do so. Where had my self-worth gone? In truth, I was just a shadow of my former self after everything that happened in Phoenix. If I had been stronger and more in control, we might have survived. Instead, I had wallowed in everything that had passed and clung to him helplessly. No wonder his feelings for me had changed. I was pitiful.

A slight rap at the door pulled me from my dark thoughts and I sat up quickly. "Come in."

They had all disappeared shortly after I finished my supper, heading out to find their own fare, so I was startled to find them all back so quickly and in my room, no less.

Alice was smiling, but quiet, as she stood close to Jasper, and Carlisle seemed on edge, standing in the doorway, his fingers tapping against the frame as Esme came and sat down beside me. My heart came to my throat. They had decided I wasn't strong enough and were sending me back early. I knew it.

"Bella," the look on Carlisle's face terrified me. I instantly relaxed as a wave of calm came over the room and I saw Carlisle glance back at Jasper with a look of gratitude. "Bella, we have had some terrible news."

My breath hitched and I heard myself whisper, "What's happened?"

"Darling," Esme grasped my hand in hers comfortingly, "I'm so sorry, Bella. It's Charlie."

The room swirled around me and I fought to control the nausea building in the pit of my stomach as Carlisle hesitantly filled me in on the details of my father's murder. Jasper moved towards me, but I waved him off, the tears silently sliding down my cheeks as I took in everything Carlisle was telling me.

Not Charlie. Not now when we had come so far in establishing a relationship after so many years of living apart. For so long, I had wanted a relationship with my father and now that I finally felt that we had something, he was gone. I fought against the fog as it attempted to seep its way into my brain and forced myself to focus.

Carlisle moved towards me, taking my hands in his. "Bella, I need you to understand. This was not a random act of violence. Charlie was targeted." Seeing that I was understanding what he was telling me, he continued, his next words making my blood run cold. "Bella, it was Victoria."

Victoria. James' mate. The red-headed she-devil that had disappeared into thin air before we even returned from Phoenix. How could we have not known? Their companion, Laurent, had warned us not to take her lightly and now she was back. She had killed Charlie. My father was gone.

I fought back the sobs begging for release. "She's coming for me, isn't she?"

"We won't let her near you, Bella." Jasper promised quietly as Alice silently nodded in agreement. I saw the pain in her eyes and knew she, too, mourned the loss of my father.

"Alice, you didn't see what was going to happen?" I couldn't help but ask her.

"No, Bella, I'm so sorry!!" The guilt in her voice made me instantly regret my question. "I don't know why I didn't see it happening. I had no idea until I saw a vision of Carlisle telling you and by then, it was already too late. I'm so sorry!" Jasper pulled her close and pressed his lips against the top of her head, murmuring words of comfort that only she could hear. He watched me closely, begging me with his eyes to allow him to offer me some comfort, but I shook my head, offering him a ghost of a smile as the tears continued to fall. I needed to feel this…needed to know it was real so that I could grasp onto the anger that I knew I would need for the road ahead.

Then it hit me. I wasn't the only person in danger. I gasped as his beautiful face and bronze waves exploded in my mind. "Edward!" His name echoed in the room and I realized it was my own voice that had said it. "If she's after me, she'll be after him as well! What if something has happened? What if she's already hurt him?" The questions poured out of me and this time, Jasper ignored my request and sent waves of calm towards me.

"Bella, he's fine. I've seen him." Alice turned in Jasper's arms to face me. "He's not in danger. She is obviously after you, knowing that will tear him apart."

I shook my head in denial, not understanding how Alice could think it would bother him in the slightest that she was after me, although I assumed he would feel some guilt about putting me in harm's way in the first place. It didn't matter. Victoria was on the warpath and we were all in danger. Any of us could face the same fate as my poor father. A fresh stream of tears poured down my face as Charlie's face flashed through my mind. He was gone.

Not wanting to lose control, I turned back to Carlisle as he suddenly grasped my shoulders, forcing me to look him directly in the eye. I needed some time alone, to process everything that happened, but before I could ask, my world once again spun out of control as I grasped the understanding of his next question. "Bella, I need you to make a choice. Will you join us? Will you allow me to turn you?"

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_**End of chapter - Reviews are calming, like Jasper....I need calm....please review...or send me Jasper!!! :o)**_


	12. Chapter 12

**_A/N - short and sweet....Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!! I hope I haven't missed responding to anyone...but if I have, please know that I have read every single one!_**

**_LolaRosa....thanks for the words of encouragement! ChangedbyEdward - I would be lost without ya bb!_**

**_Stephenie owns everything...including the rights to that wonderful little movie that was released FRIDAY that I have been gushing about ever since!!! Run to the theatre if you have not seen it.....although I can't imagine!!! And now onto...._**

**_Chapter 12_**

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**_(Victoria's POV)_**

I glanced in disgust at the mess around my feet. The meal had been delicious, far too appetizing for me to stop, and now, once again, instead of having a newborn to taunt her with, I was left with nothing more than a drained corpse. Actually, two bodies, although one was of little significance, not being part of the inner circle of Bella Swan.

I grabbed the one called Lauren and tossed the remains into the water. Ocean predators would take care of her remains quickly and she really was of no use to me. Jessica, on the other hand, would at least cause some pain when the human realized that yet another had died because of her.

I lay her remains by the side of the car and stood back to admire my handiwork. I had found the two of them wandering the beach, gossiping, oblivious to everything around them. Jessica had watched in terror as I had made quick work of her companion. She had barely made an attempt to run by the time I sunk my teeth into her jugular.

I'll give her credit, she fought me, but it only sweetened the nectar and all too soon I realized I had drained her tiny frame past the point where I could change her. It was disappointing, but I knew that she would not have been with me long; her incessant chatter would have driven me to the point of taking her life anyway. Still, it would have been fun to see Bella face off with Jessica as a vampire.

The beach was deserted, but I knew there would be a patrol later in the evening and that she would be discovered. It wouldn't be long before news of her demise was common knowledge.

If the wolves didn't find her before that. At the thought of them, my senses went into overdrive and I scanned the bush line framing the beach finding no sign of them. Not surprising though, as I was sure the putrid stench would hit me long before they would reach me.

After taking one final glance at Jessica's limp frame to make sure it was obvious to whomever found her that she had endured great suffering, I moved back down towards the shore. I stared out at the sun, dipping slowly into the water, and found myself longing for what I had lost once again. Closing my eyes, I pictured him in my mind, remembering some of our last moments together. Our relationship had been far from perfect, but I would miss his company for all eternity, and for that, she would pay and pay dearly.

Movement in the bushes to my left brought me out of my reverie and I whirled to face the intruder. His delectable scent reached me long before he came into view and I smiled as the fair-haired boy came stumbling out of the forest. I recognized him immediately as being one of the crowd that _she_ travelled with and felt victory within my grasp.

"Jess, Lauren, ready to go?" he shouted as he moved away from the trees. He stopped when he spotted me and I watched his eyes travel up my body. A cocky smile lit up his face as his eyes met mine. A slight blush warmed his cheeks and I smiled in return as I listened to the blood rush through his veins.

"Hi there." He moved closer to me and stuck his hand out to shake mine. "I'm Mike Newton."

"Well, hi yourself, Mike Newton," I purred as I took his hand in mine. Holding his hand tightly, I watched the varying expressions of lust, intrigue and a little fear cross his face as I moved closer to him, breathing in his mouth-watering aroma. "Did you want to have a little fun, Michael?"

He laughed nervously and glanced around the beach, obviously looking for his friends. With neither girl in his line of sight, his confidence grew a little and he smiled again. "What kind of fun are we talking about?"

I didn't answer, instead I dropped my white fur to the ground, sat, and pulled him down with me as I stretched out luxuriously on the fur. His body responded quickly as he watched my feline moves and with one last glance around the beach, he lowered himself against me, moving his lips to mine. Startled by the chill of my mouth, he moved to pull away, but it was too late as I tightened my grip and devoured him with my deadly kiss. His body bucked against me as he felt the sting of my bite against his neck, but his body soon calmed as he fell under the spell of my embrace.

I drank greedily for a few moments, revelling in the sweet flavour of his essence, but forced myself to pull away in time, sealing the wound with a quick flick of my tongue. I cradled him in my arms, watching as the peaceful look on his face quickly changed to terror and his body began to shake against mine. And then the screaming began.

I gathered him in my arms and took to the tree line, heading deep into the forest, away from the beach and Forks. The miles flew past us as I rushed deeper and deeper into the wild, finally stopping as I found the cave that Laurent, James and I had used when we first came to the area. The screams had never stopped during our exodus, but I had pressed his mouth against my shoulder, muffling the horrendous noise coming from the boy.

I dropped him to the ground and watched helplessly as he thrashed against the cold floor of the cave. I had turned others, of course, but for some unknown reason this one seemed different. I watched in horror as his body convulsed, already bruised and bloody from hitting against the sharp edges of rock that lay scattered on the floor, and instinct took over. Not knowing why, I threw my body on top of his and wrestled to sieze his thrashing limbs. Once I had him in my grasp, I held tightly and pressed my lips against his to silence the screams.

Shadows moved along the walls of the cave as daylight faded to night twice before the screaming and squirming stopped. I left him only once to quickly feed on whatever I could find within hearing distance of the cave. It was not the first time that I had to sustain myself with animal blood, but it was all I could do to swallow the foul-flavoured substitute. Fighting the urge to not purge myself of what I had just ingested, I leaned back against a cedar tree to process everything that had happened since Mike's change had begun. It irritated me that I was so affected by it and I couldn't understand why. Several newborns now walked the earth because of me and although I felt a connection with each of the vampires I had created, none had been able to stir the emotions I was feeling with this one.

I didn't feel remorse, but I longed to be able to ease his pain and this feeling of empathy terrified me. I didn't want to feel for anyone or anything ever again. My thoughts were interrupted as I ran for the cave when I heard the screams begin again. It wouldn't be long.

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_**(Bella's POV)**_

I stood, frozen in shock, unable to speak. For so long I'd wanted what Carlisle was now offering, but I couldn't bring myself to answer. I felt the room swirl around me and moved to sit on the bed before my feet were able to go out from under me.

Gentle hands moved me further into the center of the bed and I heard hushed whispers echo throughout the room and then silence. A cool hand brushed the hair from my forehead and I turned to find Esme sitting on the bed beside me. Without a word, she pulled me close and I buried my face against her shoulder, finally allowing the dam to break. She murmured to me quietly as she gently rocked, allowing the grief to take hold of me.

I didn't think it possible, but the tears finally stopped and I felt myself drift off, exhaustion taking over my body. I slept dreamlessly, not waking until the first light of dawn snuck into my room. I stretched and sat up slowly, the horrors of the day before returning to my memory full force as my eyes adjusted to the semi-darkness.

"Bella?" Her voice startled me initially, but then soothed as I realized that she had never left my side.

"Esme….thank you." The tears fought their way to the surface again, but I inhaled deeply, restoring a semblance of control. Her cool palm patted against my back as she moved silently to stand.

"You have nothing to thank me for, Bella. I just wish I could take back everything that has happened." She moved around the bed and her hands took mine, pulling me to my feet. "Now, I want you to go and take a long hot shower while I fix you some breakfast. You haven't eaten anything since yesterday afternoon…" her voice drifted off as she watched me carefully.

"I need to see Carlisle, Esme."

She nodded, knowing I had made a decision and needed to get it off my chest. "You go ahead and get ready, dear. I'll make sure that he joins us in the kitchen."

I watched her exit the room and sank back down against the bed, hugging myself close, begging the fog that pulled at my sanity to stay in check. Edward had left me and now Charlie was gone too. How many more of my loved ones would I have to lose?

I stood again, shaking off the despair that begged to take hold, and headed for the shower. I only let the tears come again when the hot water flowed against my skin, hoping that they would be the last for awhile. I stood for a long time, just letting the droplets of water wash away the pain until, finally, I felt the temperature of the shower dropping. Not wanting to become a Popsicle, I made my way out, towel-dried my hair, and slipped into a comfortable pair of jeans and a sweatshirt.

I followed the voices I heard from the floor below and found Esme, Alice and Carlisle sitting around the dining room table that was crowded with enough food to feed a small pack of boy scouts. I couldn't help but smile as they all glanced at me tentatively. "I'm never going to be able to eat all that…"

"Oh Bella, we just weren't sure what you would want." Alice smiled gently and beckoned for me to sit beside her. She poured a large glass of orange juice and sat it by my plate.

"Where's Jasper?" I caught the quick glance that made its way around the table and dropped the fork I had just picked up. "Oh God, has something else happened?"

"No, Bella. Nothing else has happened." Carlisle moved his chair closer to the table and picked up the coffee cup sitting in front of him. It always amazed me how human he could appear, just by doing simple things like that. At first I had assumed that it was to make me feel more at home and while it was a benefit, I had learned early on that they all liked to do this from time to time, the warm cup of water giving them some comfort and a hint of a memory of what it felt like to be human.

"Jasper left for Forks this morning, and Alice is leaving this afternoon." He set the cup down and looked at me carefully. "We think Edward is heading back this way and felt that someone should be at the house to let him know what has happened." If they noticed my quick intake of breath at the mention of his name, they didn't let on, thankfully.

"I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye, Bella." Alice grasped my hand quickly and smiled. I knew what she meant and that it was a small step to mend the damage that had been done to our friendship when they left before. I squeezed her hand, knowing that to her it would be only a tiny change in pressure, but the sparkle in her eyes told me that she understood what I was trying to convey.

She laughed and kissed me quickly on the cheek, dancing away from the table to pack a few things for her trip to Forks. Esme and Carlisle chatted quietly while I ate a little of the massive array of food that had been laid out for my benefit. Finally, sensing that I was done, Esme quickly cleared the table and we moved to the great room to discuss the inevitable.

Carlisle sat in the armchair closest to the sofa I had settled onto, with Esme, my beacon of support, by my side. "Bella, I don't mean to push you, but unfortunately time is really of the essence here. Do you remember what I asked you last night?"

Not trusting my voice to answer I nodded silently and waited for him to continue.

"I know that yesterday's news was very traumatic and I hate the thought of you having to choose under the circumstances, but we need to know how to proceed." He hesitated. "You have to know, Bella, you are a part of this family either way. We will stand by and protect you no matter what choice you make."

I nodded again, fearing a breakdown was imminent.

Understanding my silence, he smiled gently and continued, "Isabella, you know Edward's stance on this. He did not want you to live this existence. My offering this to you may be considered an act of betrayal on his part, although I hope that deep down he would understand why I offered."

"It isn't Edward's decision to make, Carlisle." I finally spoke as I moved away from my seat to stare out into the forest. "It never has been his choice. I know why he felt that way and I am even beginning to understand why he left, but that doesn't mean he was right."

"Even so, Bella, you can understand why I would prefer for your change, if you wish it, to already be underway before he returns."

I turned to face them, my two saviours, wanting them to see my face as I spoke what was in my heart. "The two of you have helped me so much already. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't come to the hospital that day, Carlisle, and I never want to know. The choice is an easy one because I can't bear the thought of losing the only sense of family that I've ever known."

In an instant, Esme was at my side, hugging me to her cold frame. "You will never lose us again, Bella – no matter what choice you make."

"I know, Esme, and I love you for that. But in reality, I know how difficult it is for the family to be around me. I know what you all put yourself through to allow me to be a part of your life and I can't allow that to go on. I don't want to."

Carlisle moved to stand with the two of us, his arms enveloping me into a cold embrace. "Are you sure, Bella?"

"Yes, Carlisle, I'm positive." He hugged me close, kissing the top of my head. "Then welcome to the family."

I smiled up at him and felt my eyes blur with tears, knowing I was making the right choice for all involved. Esme gripped my hand lovingly and I moved towards her, but stopped, paralyzed by the excruciating pain at my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." Carlisle whispered as the room faded to black.

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**_End of chapter - please review...or Victoria may come after you!!!!_**


	13. Chapter 13

**_A/N – just a short one tonight...sorry for the delay…nothin' like a good ole' case of writer's block to slow things down!! The good news is the next chapter is already with my sweet beta, ChangedbyEdward, so hopefully it will post sooner than this one did!!! Unless she hates it….LOL_**

**_Special thanks to LolaRosa for talking me off the ledge with this one…big hugs!!_**

**_Once again, Stephenie Meyer owns everything…I am just borrowing!!_**

**_Chapter 13_**

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_**(Carlisle's POV)**_

_What have I done?_

Instinct had finally won over. I had taken a human life without hesitation and now I would live all eternity with the consequences of my actions. I'm still not sure what happened.

When Bella so readily agreed to join our family, I was overcome by the trust and love she obviously still felt for us, even after we deserted her. I knew that her love for Edward was deep, but the realization that those feelings extended to all of us, was astoundingly beautiful.

_Was that why I acted so quickly and recklessly? The fear of allowing her the opportunity to re-think her decision forced me into action?_

And the taste of her blood on my tongue. I now understood exactly what my son had lived with since that fateful day in Phoenix. I know he believes himself a monster, but I now considered him a saint for being able to resist her essence for so long after tasting it.

I believed that I would have no problem changing Bella, resisting her blood, after stitching up her wounds so often, but I knew now that I was foolish to make that assumption. I do not want to think of what could have happened had Esme not been at my side, her complete faith in my strength never wavering. I have given myself far too much credit in believing that years and years of practice have made me infallible. The hunger aroused in me by one simple taste of Bella's blood awakened dark feelings I had believed long since dead_. How long will it take me to regain confidence that I will not be tempted in my work?_

I stared at the beautiful, ashen face before me and once again felt the wash of despair spill over me. _How will I face my children? How can I face Edward? How will I face Bella if she awakens from all of this?_

I watched as Esme moved onto the bed to once again attempt to comfort the burn we both knew Bella was enduring. The burn. It was something that no vampire could or would ever forget. No matter what human memories were able to fade away, that memory was forever etched into a vampire's mind.

My original plan had been to inject Bella with a combination of my venom and morphine, hoping that it would numb some of the pain that I knew she was suffering. That, of course, had not happened, since I had bitten her without any plan in place. We moved her immediately to her bedroom, but she was already in severe pain. I bit every pulse point, sealing each wound off with my venom and quickly prepared a strong injection of morphine which seemed to offer her some peace. But I could not be sure.

Time usually passes so quickly for us, but watching someone suffer is never easy and watching Bella suffer was even worse. I fought the urge to glance at the clock, not wanting to calculate how much longer we would have to wait before knowing if I had even been successful in changing her.

Restless, I moved around the room, wishing I had the ability to change what had happened. Questions continued to swirl in my mind and I fought the urge to run from the room, from Esme and everything that had transpired. I sat again in the chair and took Bella's tiny hand in mine, studying the fine veins that peeked from her skin.

I let my mind drift back in time. First to the night of my change, so long ago. I remembered the incredible fear I had felt when I realized what had happened and the terror of being alone, hidden in that stinking alley, not knowing if I would survive the fire that seemed to be consuming my body from the inside out. I prayed for the last time that night. Prayed to a God that I had spent my whole life worshipping – first asking for forgiveness and then demanding to know why he had forsaken me. When I awoke to my new existence, I locked away whatever feelings remained for that God – knowing he was lost to me. But even believing that, I knew I would do whatever I could to not stray too far from the path I had been raised on.

And I didn't stray. Until now. Refusing to allow the questions free reign of my mind again, I continued my journey through time, briefly remembering my time with the Volturi and all I had learned there, but sliding through each memory as if I were looking at a photo album, until I came to Edward. I truly believe that Elizabeth Masen knew what I was and that I had the ability to offer some sort of existence to her only son. When I had gone to check on him, his breath had been so shallow and his eyes so sunken, I truly believed I was too late. I really didn't know what I was doing and I know he suffered far more than any other I have changed. Perhaps that is why he detests his existence so much. I tried to comfort him in any way I could and only hoped that someday he would be able to forgive me for the choice I had made for him. He may have forgiven me then, but I doubted he would ever forgive me for Bella.

I felt her hand on my shoulder and reached up to take it in my own. My beautiful Esme. My partner in this strange existence. I knew she was concerned. She wasn't expecting me to act as I did and now she feared the struggle she knew was taking place in my mind. She truly is my other half and I will never regret choosing to make her mine forever. In my memories, I can still hear the faint shudder of her heart as her body fought to end its suffering. I knew she had wanted to die and only hoped that I would be able to offer her solace in a different life. If anything would get me through the dark moments I knew lay ahead, it would be the shining light of my beautiful wife.

_And what of Rosalie? __Will she understand what I have done?_ Her dislike of Bella was always quite evident, but I alone understood that it was not so much dislike as it was jealousy. Rosalie would not be able to comprehend the choice that Bella made or how I could act on it when it would never have been what she would have chosen for herself. I remember the sheer horror of finding her broken and abused body in the gutter. I wonder if she had been in my shoes if she would have been able to turn away and leave the person to die? But perhaps she had better understanding after finding Emmett in a similar state, albeit at the hand, or should I say paw, of a bear rather than a human. She had carried him back to me, never allowing herself to taste what I know she must have desired. I had been so proud of her that day and could not deny giving her the one thing she asked, but again, I only ended his life in a different way. I did not take his life – it had already been stolen.

Darkness had fallen yet again, but I had no concept of how much time had passed. I knew that Bella was reaching the end of her life as a human. I dreaded the thought of never hearing her young heart beat again and knowing that it was my doing. I will carry this guilt with me forevermore and can only hope that it will lessen in time. I know one thing alone. I will never be able to ask forgiveness from any of my family until I find it within my being to forgive myself.

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**_(Esme's POV)_**

The screams were terrifying. I lay down on the bed and pulled Bella to me, hoping that my cool frame would offer a little relief from the fire that burned beneath her skin. I glanced quickly at Carlisle, agonized by the look of grief that consumed his handsome features. I knew he was already mourning the loss of human life that was quickly slipping away before us. I only hoped that he would be able to forgive himself for what he had done.

I was surprised when he acted so quickly on Bella's decision to join us, but understood why he made that choice. This was the first time he had taken a healthy life and I believe he acted immediately so he would not have time to second-guess the decision. Edward, Rosalie, Emmett and I had all been on death's door when he changed us – he would have been unable to save us otherwise. He was able to compartmentalize the action. I hoped, for his sake, that he would be able to do the same this time.

There was no doubt in my mind that he had made the right choice. Bella had wanted this for a very long time and now with the obvious threat on her life, it had become more apparent that she would stand a much better chance of some sort of survival as one of us.

In time, I hoped my husband would be able to grasp onto that to aid in forgiving himself for what he had done. But there was no chance of that happening until we were sure that Bella would make it through the change.

We had retreated to her bedroom as soon as he bit her. The initial bite was enough of a shock to her system that she passed out, allowing Carlisle the opportunity to inject more venom at each of her pulse points without her being conscious. The screams had begun almost as soon as we moved her, and it was horrible having to watch her suffer. Carlisle had given her some morphine, hoping it would help ease her pain and it seemed successful, but there really was no way of knowing for sure. All we could do was watch and wait.

My only hope was that, somehow, she knew we were there with her and that she was not going through it alone. Carlisle had spent the first few hours rocking her gently, speaking softly to her of things he knew of her past that she would want to remember, along with memories of the times we had all shared together. He had hesitated at first speaking of Edward, but then he told her of those times as well, focusing on the happiness that they had shared as a couple.

Alice called in to check on things and make sure everything was alright, offering to have Jasper return to help us if needed. She had made it to the house in Forks in record time, but neither of them had seen or heard from Edward. She was expecting him at any moment and Carlisle made her promise to keep the news about Bella from him as long as she possibly could. Even though nothing could be reversed, we all knew that it would be much safer for Bella to wake up to her new life in a calm atmosphere, and Edward would be anything but calm once he knew what had transpired.

As the minutes slowly turned to hours, we watched, hoping for any sign that she would soon be through the worst. Her face was flushed, yet held a haunting shadow, hinting at her impending physical death. I watched Carlisle as he monitored our newest daughter – he was struggling, and that would continue until Bella came back to us. Only then would the healing begin.

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**_End of chapter - please review....Carlisle needs happy thoughts!!!_**


	14. Chapter 14

**_A/N - Thanks to everyone for the kind words about the last chapter - your feedback was wonderful and has really helped direct me in the upcoming showdown between Carlisle and Edward...I promise to not make you wait too long for that one!!_**

**_Thanks to the Queen of all Betas, ChangedbyEdward, for getting this back to me in record time...big love to you bb!_**

**_As always, Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight. Now on to Chapter 14......._**

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**_(Edward's POV)_**

The drive from Seattle to Forks gave me a bit of time to prepare myself to face Bella. There were so many things I needed to say to her, so many wrongs to make right. It had been six months and I knew that it was going to take something more than "Hi honey, I'm home," to fix the mess I had created when I left her that day. I considered going directly to her house, but then realized I was still not ready to face her. I wasn't ready to see my family either. I drove on in a blind haze, unsure of where I would end up, yet I wasn't surprised when I found myself stopped at the edge of the road, a familiar path barely cut out in the distance. Our meadow. I would find the answers I needed there. I swept through the trees, anxious to reach our special place. I closed my eyes and envisioned her there with me.

"What are you doing here, leech?"

I recognized the voice instantly and turned to face him head on. I had known someone was following me for awhile, but so many thoughts seemed to be bouncing around in his head, I had not been able to pinpoint my assailant's identity until he was almost beside me.

"What are _you_ doing here, Jacob? I have no quarrel with you."

"Like hell you don't, bloodsucker!" I sensed his fury building and a tremor that seemed to come from deep within. All at once it became apparent to me why I had been so confused.

"You're a werewolf," I stated quietly as I moved closer to him, hands in the air so he would know I was asking for a truce. He was my enemy, I had no doubt. But he was also one of Bella's closest friends and I would not fight him. Not for his sake, but for hers. "Jacob, calm down. We don't need to do this."

"I should rip you to pieces," he snarled as he paced away, moving towards the bush line. "Why are you here?"

I hesitated. I knew that with one wrong word from me he could become angry and shift at any moment, and I wasn't at all sure I felt up to battling an overeager ball of fleas. Something had him rattled – I just couldn't put my finger on what exactly had him so tense, other than his strong dislike for me. His mind was working overtime as he considered his options and played several scenarios over all at once – it was difficult to keep all his thoughts straight as well as monitor his every move.

"You haven't answered my question, Cullen. What the hell are you doing here?" I heard his question and a silent one form in his mind, "I wonder if he knows about Charlie?" which instantly had me on alert.

"What about Charlie, Jacob?" I took a step towards him slowly. "What happened?"

He stared at me for a moment, his black eyes silently warning me to tread carefully. "Get out of my head!"

He was trembling and I knew that if I pushed him much further for information – I would have a dogfight on my hands. "Jacob, what has happened to Charlie? Is Bella alright?"

"Don't even speak her name, you filthy parasite." His voice turned to a growl as his body shifted into its animal form and the large brown wolf lunged for my jugular. I lunged to the left and caught hold of a large branch hanging from an oak. Snapping it, I tossed it at the crazed dog and flipped up onto a higher branch, hoping to avoid the unwanted fight. I couldn't kill him, but I would have to defend myself if I had any hope of finding out what had happened to Bella's father.

"Stop it now! Both of you!" The command forced both of us to back off as we both watched Alice and Jasper emerge from the tree line, approaching us cautiously.

Jasper sent waves of calm throughout the meadow and Jacob immediately quieted. I dropped to the ground and found myself enveloped in a hug from my sister. I had missed them both terribly and it was wonderful to see them. Jacob whined and ran back into the trees, emerging shortly afterwards, dressed only in a ragged pair of cut-offs.

As happy as I was to see the two of them, I wondered how they had come to find the two of us in the meadow and why they were both working so hard to keep me out of their thoughts. Jasper was creating civil war battle re-enactments in his head and Alice appeared to be running through a list of potential designers for the next fashion show in Paris.

My attention reverted to Jacob, who was still standing at the edge of the tree line, watching the three of us with pure hatred scorching from his eyes. I knew it was his instinct to want us dead, but I also knew that we had done nothing to break the treaty, which meant he really had no right to be in our territory.

"What are you doing here, Edward? Why didn't you come to the house?" Alice asked as she watched Jacob from the corner of her eye.

"I needed to come here first. I need to see Bella and this seemed the ideal place to figure out what to say that could possibly make her want to forgive me." At the mention of Bella's name I heard a deep growl rumble from deep within Jacob's throat and turned to speak to him, just catching a slight glance between Alice and Jasper. Once again, to no avail, I attempted to read their thoughts but ended up with nothing.

"If you go anywhere near Bella, I will personally rip your throat out." He moved towards the trees again. "I'm not staying here while you three re-hash the good times. I have better things to do with my time. Stay away from the treaty line if you know what's good for you."

He turned, disappeared into the bush, and phased back into the wolf form almost at once. I watched to make sure he wasn't coming back and then faced my two siblings. "Okay, what the hell is going on? Why are there werewolves in Forks again? And what happened to Bella's father?"

"Edward, we have a lot to discuss. I think it would be best if you came back to the house with us." Jasper's quiet tone did nothing to calm me as I knew that something wasn't right. Knowing I wasn't going to get any answers from them here, standing in the meadow, I nodded silently and motioned for them to lead the way.

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_**(Alice's POV)**_

The return to the house was eerily silent. Jasper and I each did our best to keep our minds blank until we had Edward in a better environment to fill him in on everything that had transpired

I glanced back to look at him as we climbed the steps to the house. He looked the same, no surprise there, but I could sense his distress. He had been fighting with the choice of coming home for months and I knew that he still questioned whether he had made the right decision.

His mind had changed so many times in the past few days that I had to stop looking for him. Once he was headed on the plane here, things seemed to calm and I had assumed he was on his way to the house. I can't even describe the terror I felt when he disappeared from my vision altogether, but now, after finding him in the meadow with that stinking mongrel, things were beginning to make sense. Their presence seemed to block my visions somehow. It explains why I didn't see Carlisle's visitor that first night so long ago, and why I didn't see Charlie until it was too late.

When I came upon the two of them in the meadow, it terrified me that everything was black, but now at least I had some answers. Not that it changed anything that had happened. I knew that what Jasper and I had to tell Edward was going to devastate him and I hated the pain we were about to cause. But in a way, he had it coming to him. Perhaps if he hadn't made the wrong choices to begin with, none of us would be in the mess we were in now.

I watched Edward pace around the living room, a caged lion checking his parameter. Jasper had disappeared outside with a phone, most likely to check in with Carlisle on Bella's condition. I wandered the room, straightening things here and there, hoping he wouldn't be long.

"Alice." Edward had dropped into a chair and I could feel his eyes on me, watching my every move. "Alice, what's going on? And how long are you going to run through Paris designer names?"

I sighed and dropped down beside him. At that moment, Jasper re-entered the house and nodded to me quietly. I lowered my head, gathering my thoughts and turned to face my brother and started to talk. I told him quickly about the first few months after he left -where we had all gone and how we had tried to move on. He stiffened as I spoke of Bella and the condition that Carlisle had found her in and before he had a chance to argue, Jasper broke in.

"Edward, I would advise you to listen to everything Alice has to say before you say anything."

I knew it was the last thing he wanted to do, but he complied with Jasper's request and I continued my tale. I told him of Bella's improvement and how relieved we all were that she had recovered. Then I told him about Victoria and what she had done to Charlie. His head dropped to his hands and I knew that if he were able to weep, the floor would have been covered with his tears.

"It's my fault, Alice. She'll never forgive me." His shoulders slumped as the guilt from everything I had told him weighed heavily on him. I rested my head against his shoulder, hoping my closeness would offer some comfort.

In an instant he was on his feet and by the door, but Jasper had hold of him, stopping him from bolting before we had the opportunity to finish what we had to say. "Edward, there's more."

"You'll have to fill me in later. I need to get to Bella! She isn't safe."

"Edward, she is safe. She's with Carlisle and Esme and they are looking after her." I held back for a moment, silently begging Jasper to somehow ease what I had to tell him next.

I knew in a moment that I would not have to say the words. Jasper had let Edward read his thoughts, sparing me being the one to tell him the truth. In a flash, Jasper was sprawling beside me in shock and Edward was gone. I listened as my rental tore out the driveway and I moved towards Jasper.

"Alice, call Carlisle……now!"

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_**End of Chapter - reviews may calm Edward down...but it isn't likely :O)**_


	15. Chapter 15

**_A/N - Short and sweet.......thanks to my beta beauty, ChangedbyEdward, just for being her wonderful self!! LOVES YA bb! Christmas hugs and cheer to all my girls......you have been my best present this year!_**

**_To everyone - wishes for a beautiful holiday with the people you hold dear to your hearts - ENJOY the SEASON!!!_**

**_Stephenie Meyer - thanks for these wonderful characters - she owns all. On to Chapter 15.......see ya in the New Year!!_**

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(Jasper's POV)

I listened as Alice quickly filled Carlisle in on what had transpired, stressing to him that he needed to be prepared for Edward's arrival. She hung up the phone and moved closer to me, curling her body against mine with her head resting on my shoulder.

"It will be alright, Jazz. It will be tense, but everything will be okay." Her gift to see the future definitely had its perks, especially when I knew that I didn't have to race off to try and stop Edward from destroying Carlisle. It actually made me chuckle because as angry as I knew Ed was, I also knew that if he were able to kill Carlisle – I would then have to spend the rest of my days trying to stop Edward from destroying himself as he would be unable to cope with the guilt of what he had done. Things were never boring with the Cullens.

I kissed the top of Alice's head and pulled her close, nuzzling against her skin. "How is Bella?"

"She's still out, but Carlisle said she is close to the end." Her eyes sparkled as she spoke. "She is going to be exquisite."

"Well, I just hope she is exquisitely well-behaved! It has been a long time since Carlisle and Esme had a newborn on their hands. I think we should probably head back to Seattle as soon as possible."

"We will, Jasper. But they aren't alone. Rose and Emmett arrived this afternoon so stop worrying so much and kiss me." She chuckled as I sighed dramatically and pulled her close, giving in to her request, all the while praying that her visions were accurate.

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**_(Edward's POV)_**

Landscape and signs flashed past me as I tore out of Forks, driving as quickly as I could without taking the chance of being pulled over. Bella had always worried that Charlie would catch me speeding through town and forbid her to ever get into a vehicle with me again. I had assured her that it would never happen, but I never dreamed that it would be for this reason. An overwhelming sense of sorrow washed over me – not just for Charlie, but also for the anguish that Bella had been caused by yet another of my kind.

My kind. Now her kind. The thought that Carlisle had damned her to this existence was beyond my comprehension. _How could he have made this choice? Why did he betray my wishes?_ Every reason I had left Bella in the first place was for nothing! All the time we had been apart, Bella's stay at the sanitorium, Charlie's death, everything we had put ourselves through was for no reason! _How could I ever forgive him? How could I ever forgive myself?_

I slammed my fist against the dash, instantly regretting the action as Alice's rental felt my wrath. A huge hole gaped in the dashboard – I knew immediately it would be up to me to have it repaired before she returned it. I gripped the steering wheel tightly, fighting the urge to snap it in two. I needed to get to Seattle and a broken steering wheel would not help that situation.

Time seemed to pass in a blur as I focussed solely on the road ahead. Luckily Alice had left all the coordinates in the rental's GPS system so I soon found myself traveling through the gates of the newest Cullen property. I pulled up to the house and exited the car, unsurprised to find a welcoming committee at the door.

"Well, if it isn't my long-lost brother." Emmett leaned against the door frame, watching my every move as I climbed the stairs to face him. "How've ya been?"

Football stats and scores raced through his mind as he studied me carefully.

"Em, I have no quarrel with you – just get out of my way so I don't have to do something I will regret." I heard a snarl from behind me and turned to face Rose. "This doesn't concern either one of you!"

"What do you mean it doesn't concern us?" Rosalie questioned as she pushed her manicured nail into my chest. "Every single thing you have done since _SHE_ came into your life has concerned us!"

"Back off, Rose…"

"Or what, Edward?? What are you going to do? It's done! Get over it already!" She moved to stand with Emmett, the two of them blocking my way inside. "You should be grateful that Carlisle had the balls to do what you couldn't!"

Sensing that Rose had said too much, Emmett placed one hand out as if to hold me back from striking her. "Ed, man, you gotta chill out. This isn't going to do any good here. Rose is right in saying that you can't change what's happened and now you and Bella can be together, right?"

"Get. Out. Of. My. Way," I ground out through my clenched teeth. If they wanted a fight, then so be it. The door opened behind them and my mind went blank as I pushed past them and threw Carlisle against the wall. "MURDERER!" I shrieked as Emmett and Rosalie grabbed my arms to restrain me. Plaster and wood fell to the floor as Carlisle slowly picked himself up and dusted himself off.

"Let him go." Carlisle spoke calmly as he moved towards me, his eyes glimmering with the hurt that the one single word had caused. I felt my siblings' hold on me lessen and I shrugged them off, knowing that any quick move on my part would bring on another tackle.

"How could you do it, Carlisle?" I spat out. "How could you betray me this way?"

"Betray you?!" Carlisle's voice rose and his approach on me quickened aggressively. "Edward, you have betrayed Bella and this entire family! How dare you come here, questioning my actions when we have not heard from you in months! Do you have any idea what you have put this girl through?"

I fell back against the wall as Carlisle hurled thought after thought at me. Memories of finding Bella, broken in the hospital, her slow recovery with he and Esme at her side, the details of the nightmares that Bella had shared with him, and the devastation of having to tell her about Charlie and Victoria.

"Don't talk to me about betrayal, Edward. Not unless you want to talk about it on a two-way street."

"I know I made mistakes, Carlisle. But you have damned her. I thought you were the one person who understood my stand on this, yet you are the one who has taken her life." I slid to the floor, my hands resting against my knees. No matter how this continued, I knew violence was not the answer. As angry as I was at my "father" for what had transpired, the one hit to him had caused me more anguish than I wanted him to know. I knew that I had not hurt him physically – he most likely could snap me in two if he wanted, but I had done more damage to our relationship with that single hit and word than ever before.

"Do you not think I have guilt, Edward? I know what I did. I took a life, a healthy one, and that is something that I will have to live with for the rest of my existence!" Carlisle moved towards the door and stared out into the oncoming twilight. "But what kind of life did she have? She fell in love with you and then lost you. She suffered, Edward, even more than I showed you. I don't know what you said to her when she left, but you broke her spirit. And then, just when things seemed to be improving – Victoria returned and she lost Charlie." He turned to face me. "I did the only thing I could to make her pain lessen, Edward. No father wants to see a child in pain and you are not the only one in this family that lost her when you forced us into exile."

I glanced around the room to find us alone. Rosalie and Emmett had disappeared from sight the moment they realized we weren't going to tear each other apart. The silence was deafening as I let his words sink in. I knew that leaving Bella had been difficult on everyone but had no idea that their feelings for her had run so deep. I leaned my head back against the wall and sighed. "I just didn't want this life for her."

"I understand that. I really do. But as Bella so eloquently pointed out to me just before I started her change, it really wasn't your choice to make."

I stared at him in silence.

"And Edward, if I had it to do over again and she had realized that before we left, I most likely would have changed her then if it would have meant that we would not have fallen apart." He moved towards me and slid down against the wall so we were side by side. "I have missed you."

Unable to look him in the eye, I stared at the floor, studying the pattern of the marble tile. The swirls seemed to move as if in a dance and I sat entranced for a few moments as I gathered my thoughts. "I never meant to hurt her. I lied to her that day, Carlisle. I told her that I didn't want her to come with me. That I didn't love her." I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes, the pattern of the marble still moving in my mind. "I am not sure she will ever forgive me."

"Surely you must understand how Bella interpreted what you told her, Edward. She thinks that you considered her beneath you, unworthy of your love. It broke her in the worst possible way – yet she still loves you." He sighed and stood, moving again towards the door to look out into the night. "When we told her about Charlie, her first thoughts, after processing what had happened, were of you and whether or not you were safe from Victoria. Her devotion to you is unwavering, even when it most likely shouldn't be."

"I know I don't deserve her, Carlisle. But I can't live without her."

"And now you won't have to. I can't promise that the road will be easy, Edward, but I do believe that you will be able to win her trust back. I just hope that you have learned to cherish it after these past months."

"Can I see her?"

"I am not sure that would be the best thing – not yet. She actually hasn't awakened yet, although we are expecting that to happen shortly. Esme is with her – she hasn't left her side since I bit her. I think it would be best if you made yourself scarce for the next few days." He saw me move to argue and raised his hand to stop me. "I know you want to make things right, Edward, but we have no idea how she will be as a newborn. Give Esme and me some time to adjust Bella to her new life. You have been gone for months; surely you can wait another day or two."

The thought of spending another moment away from her was heartbreaking, but I knew he was right. I still could not condone the choice he and Bella had made, but I knew that it would not keep me from her. I nodded slowly and stood. "I will be close, Carlisle, if you do need me." I moved towards the door and felt his hand on my shoulder. I turned back to face him, unsure of what to expect.

"I know you are angry with what has happened, but I hope you will, in time, come to understand why I did it and will be able to forgive me. But I need you to know how much you mean to this family and how much we missed having you with us."

I never expected to hear these words after I had acted so horribly only a short while before, but his words warmed my entire being. Without hesitation, I moved into his open arms and returned his embrace, grateful to know that I was still welcome.

"Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to go back upstairs and check on Bella. I know the next few days will be difficult, but I promise we'll take care of her and you will see her soon."

I watched as he disappeared through a door on the second floor and then moved to head outside, only to find Emmett once again waiting at the doorway.

"Rose said to tell ya that she'll fix Alice's rental, but that you owe her, big time. She's talking jewels, man, so you better be ready to pay up." He snickered as I shook my head in defeat. "C'mon, I'll give ya a lift to the nearest hotel and you can fill me in on how we missed ya in Rio."

I followed him out, my mind already counting the moments until my return.

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_**End of Chapter - reviews would also make great Christmas presents!!!!**_


	16. Chapter 16

_**A/N – Happy New Year! **_

_**Once again, I would just like to say thank you for all the kind reviews – it is really inspiring! **_

_**I would like to promote a great little tale that my friend, LolaRosa is currently writing called Macabre. It is a real gem and I believe it truly describes the dark days of Edward's rebellious years…please stop by and show her some love!! You can find it at:**_

_**www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5501651/1/Macabre**_

_**ChangedbyEdward, my lovely beta….thanks so much for looking after me so well and all your support!**_

_**Stephenie M owns all…..thank goodness she shares!!**_

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_**Chapter 16**_

_**(Victoria's POV)**_

I sat, my back tight against the stone wall of the cave, as I watched his body squirm and shake, taking its last few movements of humanity. His breathing was shallow, each breath more frail than the last until finally, his chest moved no longer. I waited, anxious for his eyes to open, unsure of what to expect.

Moments passed and he stirred slightly, and then... his eyes opened wide. In a moment he was on his feet, crouched like the predator he had now become, a growl rumbling from deep within. His sight focussed on me and in a moment he had me pinned against the wall, hunger raging in his eyes.

"What have you done to me?" His voice had a new haunting tone and I smiled coyly as I took in the perfection I had created. His body had taken on a lean, chiselled look to its already fit physique and his hair now glistened with golden strands throughout the blonde locks that framed his face. I watched his expression change rapidly as he held me against the wall. I didn't move but continued to smile at him, waiting for him to relax his grip.

Realizing he needed me to answer his questions, I didn't have to wait long for him to release me. He moved away from me and stood staring, his arms folded tightly against his chest.

"Michael, I have been waiting for you to wake up, my pet." I moved towards him stealthily, my hands gently caressing his arms. "I know you must be a thirsty boy. Let me take you hunting and then we can discuss what has happened."

"No! I want you to tell me what happened now!"

"You will never grow old and are now stronger than you could have ever imagined. You no longer require sleep, or any of the other hindrances your human life encumbered you with. Your only requirement in life is to take what you need to survive. You have been given a wonderful gift, Michael – my only hope is that you will allow me to show you all your new world has to offer."

"I don't understand. How did this happen?" I could see the questions in his eyes, but I also could see excitement in his expression as he took in all I had told him. His skin, smooth and hard, was alive with electricity under my touch and I was overcome with desire to touch him and to have him touch me. A hiss escaped from my lips and he looked at me, questioning my reaction. I shook my head slightly and took his hand in mine.

"Come with me now, Michael. Let us find you something delicious to feast on." His grip tightened in mine as we ran from the cave. I was pleased with his strength and speed – I knew that he would be remarkable, but he far exceeded my expectations. I felt his eagerness to rush ahead of me, to test his new abilities and I urged him to do so, knowing that he would not stray far from me. The bond between a maker and fledgling is powerful and difficult to ignore.

He grinned at me as he sped off ahead, and once again I was overcome with feelings that I could not understand. _Why was his transformation so different for me? What were these feelings?_

I had led him in the opposite direction of Forks, not wanting his first kill to be anyone that might cause him distress. I had no doubt that once he had drank from his first victim, there would be no hesitation in feeding from anyone he might meet, but I knew it would be better if his recollections of his previous life laid dormant, at least until I could make use of them in better ways.

Darkness was falling as we approached the outskirts of Tacoma and I watched with interest as he got his first scent of human blood. I knew his first feeding could easily turn into a bloodbath and as much as I would have enjoyed watching him kill with reckless abandon, I knew now was not the time for a grand display of carnage.

"Michael, come with me." I took his hand again in mine and slowed our pace to appear as though we were taking a leisurely walk in town. His eyes darted in every direction as I led him towards the water where I knew we were likely to find a few lone travellers that would go unmissed. "We must be discreet, love. It is the only law that we must follow."

A low growl from the depths of his throat was his only response and I tightened my grip on his hand. "Un ugh."

I scolded him. "Just watch and I will show you what to do. I promise, you will have all you can drink before we are through." He relaxed a little and watched me as I moved towards an elderly lady out for a walk with her poodle. I rolled my eyes as I watched the little dog, dressed like a child. "Oh my, what a lovely little dog you have there. What is his name?" The woman turned to respond to my question and I grasped her by the shoulders, sinking my teeth into her neck, paralyzing her with my venom. The poodle began to yap, so I yanked the leash from her wrinkled hands and snarled at the dog, scaring it away. Michael's eyes were dark with hunger as he watched my movements. I slit her wrist and he drank from it hungrily, draining her almost immediately.

I watched carefully as he dropped her arm and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I want more."

I nodded, knowing the depth of his hunger. I felt the venom surge again to my throat, my hunger almost mirroring his own, and knew that Tacoma would lose more than a few residents that night. Smiling at the thought, I tossed the woman's remains into the water and held my hand out to him. "Then come, love, let us find you more," I whispered as we disappeared into the darkness of the night.

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_**(Bella's POV)**_

Heat. I thought that I had felt the last of it when I left my home in Phoenix, but I was wrong. There was no comparison, however. While the heat in Arizona had brought me to life, kissing my skin with pleasure, the heat I was now enduring was surely from the depths of hell, ushering me to my death. I felt myself writhe against the pain, believing with no doubt that something had gone horribly wrong and my skin was being burned away from my bones. I could hear screams in the distance and wondered at first what other poor soul was receiving such excruciating torture until I recognized the high pitch of my own voice.

I tried to control myself, but with no use as the horrific sounds continue to echo around my head and I began to count the screams, as if counting sheep, in hopes that I would soon either pass out or die to escape the fiery grip clutching my entire frame.

The time seemed endless as I squirmed in agony, each flick of the flame seeming more scorching than before. I tried to focus, knowing that someone was speaking to me, trying to soothe my pain, and I listened as they whispered words of love to me, mentioning names of those I considered my closest friends and family. With each name, I tried to remember a face, praying that I would be able to recognize those loved ones, should I survive this hell.

And then I heard it. The name that for so long I had closed my mind to and a flood of memories rushed through my mind as Edward, my beautiful Edward's face came to me. I gasped as I once again took in his stunning features and knew that if I did not survive the horror I was now enduring, at least I could be grateful I was able to see my angel one last time. I tried to think of the lullaby that he had written for me, the one thing that had carried me through the months of loneliness before Carlisle and Esme had saved me from the hospital, but even that fled from me as the scorching heat continued to melt away my being.

I clung to anything I could hold onto as the endless torture went on for what I feared was now my eternity and then just when I felt as if I were about to go mad, I began to feel some relief. The heat seemed less intense and I no longer heard myself screaming, but a new sound captured my interest and I strained to listen, realizing that the faint thud I could hear was my heartbeat. It seemed so faint and a rush of fear passed over me as it grew fainter. I was dying. I felt a single tear fall against my cheek and then a moment of silence passed over me.

I lay still, realizing all at once that the heat and pain that I had been drowning in had evaporated. My body felt wonderful and I moved slightly, smiling at the pleasant humming sensation that coursed through me. I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling of what I remembered to be my room, the colours of the wood ceiling, swirling at me. I moved to stand and in what would have been a heartbeat, found myself on my feet, crouched as if I were about to pounce. I looked up in wonder and found two sets of amber eyes peering at me, full of hope yet with a hint of fear. As I took in the two faces, I smiled at them both, matching their names to the images that had flashed through my head only moments before.

"Carlisle, Esme." My voice seemed to sing out in a soft melody and I looked at them both in shock, realizing that the dream I had hoped for so long was now a reality. I looked down at my hands and watched as a beam of sunlight bounced off of my wrist, reflecting glistening tiny diamonds. "Oh!" was the only word I could find as I realized I was sparkling.

Esme smiled brilliantly and moved closer to me. She was breathtakingly beautiful and I wondered how I could not have been in awe of her before. Her graceful moves were remarkable as she seemed to glide towards me. "Bella, we have waited so long for this moment. Welcome." She held her arms out to me and I found myself in her motherly embrace immediately, shocked at how warm she felt against my skin. She pressed her lips against my cheek and then moved away, allowing Carlisle his turn.

Carlisle. I turned to face him and was floored by his sheer elegance. I had always found him awe-inspiring and I seemed to remember that most women in Forks felt the same way, but there were no words to describe how truly magnificent he looked. I waited for the blush to crawl up my neck to my cheeks and realizing that I no longer had my tell-tale giveaway, grinned as my eyes met his. And that was when I saw it. A sadness that had not been there before. I was a disappointment to him. I backed away quickly and found myself against a wall, unable to get away.

"Bella, I am so sorry." His words came as a whisper and I could not bring myself to look into his sad eyes again.

"No, Carlisle, please don't be sorry. I'll do my best to make you proud of me…" my voice dwindled as I heard a sharp gasp, even though I knew he did not need to breathe.

"Isabella, what are you saying?" He was by me in an instant and I felt his hand nudging my chin, urging my eyes to meet his. "You have already made me more proud than I can even explain to you. You misunderstood me, Bella." His hands fell to my shoulders and I stared up into his face, longing to understand what he was saying. "I need you to understand that I am so sorry for taking your life from you. I would like to say it was only for your safety, but I know that I had my own selfish reasons as well. Esme and I have loved you as a daughter since we met you and to have you join our family is a gift that I can not ever begin to thank you for, but I also know that changing you was the key to restoring my family as a unit and that was very selfish on my part. I only hope that someday you will be able to forgive me."

Without hesitation, I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed until I heard a slight huff in protest. "Oh sorry, I forgot my newborn strength." I chuckled as I lessened my hug and looked up, smiling at my new father. "Carlisle, you have nothing to apologize for. You have given me everything I have ever asked for. Please, please don't waste another moment on regret."

There was a slight rap on the door and I moved away from them both, hesitant of what lay on the other side. The door opened and I watched as a small white flag waved in the gap and then chuckled as Emmett bounded inside, followed by Rosalie. "Bells!" he crowed as he grabbed me in a bear hug, lifting me off the floor. I laughed as he swung me around and dropped me on the bed, the oak frame creaking from the force. "Man is it good to be able to hug you without fear of snapping you in two!" He grinned at Esme and Carlisle as he grasped my hand and pulled me to my feet once again. Moving away, I watched in shock as Rosalie moved towards me.

I had been stunned by Esme's beauty, but Rose was another thing altogether. As a human, I had considered her the most beautiful person I had ever seen, but now with my new eyes, I realized that had only been a dull reflection of her true self. She was stunning beyond comprehension. I smiled tentatively hoping she would be a bit more accepting and was greeted in return by a small smile of her own. "Hello, Bella. It is good to see you again."

"It's good to see you, too, Rose. I missed you all so much." I wondered at my words as it felt as if it was a distant memory, yet I knew they had been gone from my previous life for awhile. I glanced around the room, realizing that someone was missing? "Where are Jasper and Alice?" I asked, still stunned at the tone of my voice.

"They will be here soon," Carlisle answered quickly. He looked at me for a moment, as if he were waiting for another question, but then continued. "You must be thirsty, Bella. I think maybe now would be a good time for us to head out to hunt."

I looked at him first in confusion and then horror as I realized I had no idea how to do what was needed. Esme, sensing my worry, moved closer and wrapped her arm around me protectively. "Don't worry about anything, Bella. It will come to you naturally and we will all be there to give pointers." Emmett chuckled and she scowled at him, quieting him instantly. "Emmett, would you like us to tell Bella about your first endeavours?" That brought a full blown laugh from Rosalie and I smiled in response, waiting for more, but realizing simply from the glare written across Emmett's face, that it would have to wait for another time.

Not wanting to disappoint, I linked arms with Esme and smiled. "Well, what are we waiting for?"

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_**End of Chapter – please review!! Emmett just might do some push-ups for you!! :o)**_


	17. Chapter 17

**_A/N - Quick thanks to LolaRosa, my PB extraordinaire and changedbyEdward - the best freaking beta around!! Not only does she beta, she promotes as well and has started a thread for A Different Kind of Moon over at Twilighted - if you are over there, please stop by and say hello!!!_**

**_Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight - I am just borrowing :O)_**

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Chapter 17

**_(Alice's POV)_**

I waited as Jasper finished locking up the house and moved towards the car. I was sad to leave. Forks had always been one of my favourite places to maintain a residence and once again we were leaving, not knowing when or if we would return. The treaty had been broken and every moment we remained in the area was one moment too long. I was convinced the wolves had no way of knowing that Bella had already been changed, but we didn't want to take any chances.

I smiled at Jasper warmly as he took his place in the driver's seat and we headed down the lane. I watched the forest that lined the road as we sped down the highway towards the city limits. A flash of movement to my right caught my attention and I gasped as two of the werewolves moved out onto the road in front of us. Jasper slammed on the brakes and we sat staring at them as they moved around the car slowly. I heard a rumble in Jasper's throat and I glanced over, his eyes darkening with the impending threat. I placed my hand on his arm to steady him as Jacob came out from the tree line and motioned the other two wolves to the side.

Knowing it could be a trap, but not wanting to give anything away; Jasper and I exited the vehicle, and moved towards the front of the car where Jacob stood waiting.

"That's a good way to get yourself hit, dog." Jasper fought back the snarl in his voice as he spoke. "What do you want with us?"

"I'm surprised you stopped, bloodsucker," Jacob scowled in response. "I don't want anything from you, but I needed to make sure that Bella was safe."

Relieved that he still was not aware of what had taken place, I responded, "Yes, Jacob, she's safe. She is with Carlisle and Esme, and Emmett and Rose have just returned from Europe, so she has plenty of protection."

He laughed coldly at my last comment, protection from vampires being far from what he considered safe, but nodded, "Are you going to them now?"

"Yes, we're on our way to Seattle." I dreaded asking, but felt he might appreciate the offer. "Do you have anything you want me to tell Bella?"

I knew he hated to ask anything of me and watched him closely as he fought to keep his emotions in check. After a few moments, he nodded and moved towards me, a small parcel in his hand. I could barely stomach the stench of him, but put on a smile and accepted it, promising to give it to her as soon as we arrived.

"Don't let her come back here." His voice was strangled and I knew it tore his heart out to say it. "It isn't safe and won't be until we get that red-headed leech." He turned to leave, but then stopped. "She killed another three in the area," he stated, icily.

"When did this happen?" I had been keeping an eye out for any sign of a vision of her, but things had been so chaotic between Bella's change and Edward's return that I couldn't really seem to get a clear view of anything, not to mention the interference the werewolves caused with their constant movement. They had been patrolling as close to the treaty-line as possible and it had truly created havoc with my visions.

"We found remains of two of the three yesterday. People that Bella went to school with." He looked at me. "Most likely were in your classes as well. Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory were the two we found.",

I was stunned. Neither of them had been friends of mine but Jessica had tried and I certainly hadn't wished them any harm. "I'm sorry to hear it. Who is missing? Not Angela Weber?" My voice trembled a bit at the question. Out of all the people we had met in our time at Forks High, Angela had been one of my favourites by far, and the thought that something might have happened to her at the hands of Victoria made me feel sick inside.

Jacob stared at me for a moment, obviously surprised by my reaction, then continued, "No. The Newton kid."

"Mike Newton?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah. That's him. No one has seen him since he left with those two girls and we know how they ended up."

It was obvious that Victoria was going after anyone that Bella had associated with. I wondered to myself if the dog even realized that he would have been first on the hit list had he not been one of the Quileute wolves. "Well Jacob, if you don't have anything else, we'll head out. I'm sure you aren't sorry to see us leaving." I looked over at Jasper and he moved back towards the driver's door, never taking his eyes off Jacob.

"What about your brother? Is he _protecting_ Bella, too?" Jacob snarled as he asked the question and I knew that if he had a choice, Jasper and I would both have had a fight on our hands.

I stared back at him, my eyes darkening against my will. "He isn't anywhere near her, mutt." I opened the door and got in. "We're leaving."

"Good riddance. I couldn't stand the stench anyways," Jacob retorted as he headed for the woods, shifting as he went.

I settled back into the seat, not saying anything at first, allowing Jasper to put some miles between us and the pack before we discussed what we had learned. Jasper drove quickly, his eyes on the road ahead, but I knew his thoughts were far away. Once we were well out of Forks, I turned in my seat to look at him. "What are you thinking, Jazz?"

"About Victoria. She is a lot more of a problem than we originally gave her credit for." He looked over at me and I could see the worry in his eyes. "I would be willing to bet that she has turned Newton. And he won't be the only one. Charlie was an attempt, but her attacks are more frequent with each passing day. She is out for justice and is building an army to prove it."

I sat back and concentrated, trying to get a grasp on a vision, but she was either too close to the werewolves for me to see, or changing her mind so quickly that I could not pinpoint her. I caught flashes of red, but before I could focus, the vision would change. Frustrated, I slammed my head back against the seat, breaking the neck rest. Jasper chuckled and grabbed my hand, bringing it to his lips for a tender kiss. "Don't fret, darlin'. We'll get her."

"I know, Jazz. I just wonder what else it will cost us before we do." My thoughts turned to Bella's father. I mourned Charlie's death and would cherish the opportunity to get some justice of my own.

Our conversation came to an abrupt end as we pulled through the gates of the estate. "We won't have to wait long to see Bella. They're on their way back from her first hunt."

Jasper grinned in response and pulled into the garage, parking next to my rental that Edward had run off with. I wondered if Rosalie had repaired the hole in the dash yet and what it had cost him in return. She had been jumping between a sapphire necklace we had seen on our last NYC shopping trip and a diamond ring that was currently up for auction at Sotheby's. I chuckled because either way it was going to irritate him.

Jasper gave me a questioning look and then smiled. He didn't need to be a mind reader to realize that I was chuckling at Edward's expense. "Rose is making things difficult for him, is she?" he asked as he took a glance at the car parked beside us. "What's it costing him this time?"

I shrugged in response, a grin on my face. "No worries. After what he has put us through the past few months, I think she's letting him off easy!"

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**_(Carlisle's POV)_**

Esme and I watched as Emmett and Rose took the lead, racing far into the dense forest that backed the estate. Bella ran with them, a look of sheer exhilaration radiating from her face. She was graceful and elegant and her transformation had been simpler than I had expected. She seemed very calm for a newborn and I wondered how she was controlling her thirst so well.

We continued to hang back as Rosalie explained to Bella how to seek out her prey. There were deer nearby. We caught their scent and followed as Rose, Emmett and Bella moved towards the unsuspecting herd. Normally Emmett would let out a yell so he would have a bit of a chase, but he stayed quiet and watched as Rosalie took Bella under her wing.

Bella listened carefully and then mimicked Rose's moves, quickly taking down a doe and piercing its neck with her teeth. She drained the deer and gently laid its remains on the ground, unsure how to proceed. She looked down at her shirt and back towards us grinning, not a spot of blood to be found.

Emmett pulled her into a bear hug and she swatted at him to put her down as he tried to rub dirt on her otherwise clean shirt. Laughing, he picked up the carcass to discard it with the others. He explained to her how we always tried to be careful and clean up the area, not wanting to draw attention to ourselves. Nodding, she watched as Rosalie took down another deer and she raced off to follow suit. We knew she would be thirsty her first time out, so wanted to make sure that she took all she needed. Following their lead, Esme and I decided it was time to join them for dinner and ran to cut off the herd at the other end of the meadow.

As I buried the remains of the stag I had drank from under a large oak tree, I searched the parameter of the field, trying to locate his hiding place. I had sensed his presence the minute we had crossed the ravine. I knew how frustrating this had to be for him, but I also knew that it was imperative that he not try and rush Bella. He was concealed well, but I knew where to find him and moved towards the section of trees that shaded him.

"Edward, I know you're here. I understand why you couldn't stay away, but please for her sake, don't rush this." I looked towards the trees and waited to see if he revealed himself. Satisfied that he was willing to watch from the distance, at least for the time being, I sent another thought his way. "She's adapting well and I promise you that she will be safe."

I turned and watched as Bella ran towards me with Esme. Moving away from Edward's hiding place, I smiled in greeting. She was exquisite, sparkling in the sun, and I hoped that Edward would take solace in how happy she appeared to be with her new life.

"So Bella, how did you find your first hunting experience?"

"Well it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be and they didn't taste as horrible as I thought they would either." She grinned and danced around excitedly. "And I didn't spill a drop so I'm sure Alice will be relieved. Although, it will spoil her plans of buying me an entire wardrobe just to learn how to hunt!"

"Actually, we should probably head back to the house because I am sure they will have arrived and be anxious to see you, dear." Esme wrapped her arm around Bella and started to lead the way back towards home.

"It'll be great to have everyone back together again." Bella leaned into Esme's embrace as they walked back together. Esme smiled, but looked back at me in confusion. I shook my head quickly, praying that Edward was not close enough to hear what Bella had just said. I had found it odd earlier when she had asked about everyone except Edward and now with this comment, I began to wonder if her transition had been as smooth as I thought. It seemed impossible that she could have forgotten the one person that meant the most, the one who made her originally want to join our family, yet since her awakening, she had not mentioned his name.

As we approached the house, Emmett and Rose rushed to catch up to us. Emmett ran past Bella, giving her hair a gentle pull and then tearing off, daring her to race him. Laughing, she tore after him with Rose hot on her heels, egging her on. I shook my head at the three of them and wrapped my arm around Esme's shoulder as she chuckled quietly.

Turning to face me, Esme lifted her hands to frame my face, staring into my eyes. "Have you forgiven yourself, yet?" she questioned quietly. I reached up and clasped her hands in mine, bringing them to my lips and kissing them tenderly, not answering her question. She sighed and wrapped her arms around me, burying her face in my chest. "Carlisle, this is what she wanted. You have done the right thing. Edward will forgive you."

"Will he, Esme? Will he forgive me when he realizes that Bella doesn't remember him?" I asked the question, knowing there was a distinct possibility that he had already discovered my fear, simply from my thoughts. There was a time that he had closed his mind to listening in on our private conversations, wanting to give us as much privacy as possible, but I doubted that he would even consider that now. I knew the separation from Bella had been difficult and now more than ever.

"Are you sure of that, love? She didn't speak of him often when we were visiting her in the hospital. Perhaps it is still too difficult for her to discuss."

"No. I wish it was only that, but there has to be an explanation. We will see what the next day or two brings." I sighed and kissed the top of her head and then nudged her chin to look at me. "I don't know what I would have done without you these last few days, my love."

She smiled and kissed me softly. "Well, I'm sure we can figure out a way for you to show me how much it meant."

I chuckled and took her hand, leading her up onto the deck. "Yes, I am sure we can think of something, but first we need to see what kind of trouble Alice and Jasper have been in." I opened the door and Esme went in ahead as I took one last glance back towards the tree line. "Give it time, son. I beg of you, give it time," I thought quietly and then headed in to welcome Alice and Jasper home.

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**_End of Chapter - reviews are almost as nice as new jewellry!!! LOL_**


	18. Chapter 18

**_A/N - Thanks again to everyone who has taken the time to review, etc. Your comments mean more than you know and I am responding....just not as quickly as I would like to!!_**

**_Thanks once again to LolaRose for PB'ing and changedbyEdward for being the wonderful beta and friend that she is!_**

**_Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight. Just borrowing!! :o)_**

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**__****_Chapter 18_**

**_(Edward's POV)_**

I lay on the hotel room bed staring at the ceiling, waiting. For so long I had fought to stay away from her to keep her safe and now, when all I wanted to do was to run to her, I couldn't. Groaning in frustration, I leapt to my feet and resumed pacing the hotel room floor. That had been my holding pattern since Emmett had dropped me off, promising to call as soon as there was news.

I glanced at the clock for the millionth time, calculating immediately that it had been 38 hours, 14 minutes and 32 seconds from then, and only 6 minutes since the last time I had done the calculation. I moved to the glass door and stared out at the Seattle skyline, silently begging the phone to ring.

Twelve glances at the clock and 73 minutes later, I got my wish. I flew to the phone and barked Emmett's name before the first ring, completely unhinged. "Emmett, tell me!"

"Ed, man. You've got to chill!" My brother's voice boomed through the receiver. "If ya don't calm down, I'm not telling you anything."

I growled into the phone and listened to dead silence on the other end. Fully aware that Emmett was more than willing to play this cat and mouse game with me for as long as it took, I forced myself to relax. After a few more moments of silence, I found my voice. "Alright Emmett, I'm calm. Now will you please tell me how she is?"

A deep chuckle echoed through the phone and I fought the urge to rush over to the house and feed the receiver to him personally. "Well how about you come and see for yourself?" His voice dropped to a whisper and I knew whatever he was about to say was completely his idea. "We're taking her hunting at the back of the property where I took you after your little outburst. Ed, I'm telling you this so you won't miss out on the fun of seeing her first hunt as a newborn, but don't you do anything to screw this up. Carlisle asked you to stay away and to give her time and he's right, but I figured you could at least watch her from a distance. Don't make me regret my decision, cuz you know I'll make you pay!"

"Thanks, Em. You'll never know I'm there."

"I gotta go. Rose is going to be here any minute and I don't want her to know I called."

The phone disconnected immediately and I hoped for his sake that Rose hadn't heard him talking to me. If I was going to make it before them, I was going to have to hurry. I ran for the door, grabbing my room key and shoving it into my pocket as I went. I moved through the crowded hotel at a snail's pace, not wanting to draw anyone's attention.

I made my way through the city streets, jogging at human speed when there were crowds and a bit faster when I had room to move. Soon enough I found myself at the dense tree line that snaked alongside the Washington highway and allowed my vampire speed to take over. In minutes I came to the vast meadow that Emmett had told me they would visit and I searched out a large cedar to perch in so that I would be out of their view.

I closed my eyes and inhaled, venom surging to my throat as I sensed a large herd of mule deer at the far end of the field. I fought back my thirst and settled in, knowing it would not be long until they found them as well. Emmett's thoughts came into range as they crossed the ravine, still miles from the meadow. "We're on our way, bro. Don't fuck this up!" His thoughts were loud and clear.

I listened to their laughter as they made their way through the bush, and then watched for them as their voices silenced, deadly hunters approaching their prey. I sat in awed silence as I realized that Bella and Rosalie were hunting together. Rosalie's thoughts were a flurry of activity as she whispered instructions to her unseen companion. I was unsure whether I was more frustrated or relieved that Bella's mind was still silent to me in death. As crazy as it had always driven me that I never knew what she was thinking, I also knew it had always been a comfort to her that she had retained a sense of privacy.

I continued to listen as the girls made their way towards the meadow, Emmett following closely behind. If it had been at all possible, his heart would have burst out of his chest, he was so proud of his wife for taking Bella under her wing. I smiled and knew I would have to thank them both for helping her when I could not.

I saw Rosalie exit the trees and rush towards the unknowing herd, expertly taking down a doe and once again I fought the venom that surged into my throat. My thirst would have to wait. And then, all thoughts vanished from my mind. My Bella. My beautiful Bella.

I watched in awe as she sped towards the herd, mimicking Rosalie's movements perfectly. Her beautiful mahogany tresses were pulled back into a simple ponytail, revealing her sparkling neck to me in its full glory. Emotions swelled in my chest as I watched my beloved drink from the neck of the deer she had taken down. She was quite simply... breathtaking.

I quickly thought back to the visions that Alice had pushed at me anytime she had tried to convince me that Bella would be mine for all eternity. Her visions had been a mere hint of the dark angel that now stood before me. She was exquisite.

She finished quickly and stood, holding the deer's body until Emmett came to her rescue, explaining how to hide the remains. I couldn't take my eyes off her porcelain skin that sparkled under the sunlight. Her slender figure had taken on a few more curves and she stood with a dancer's grace. I longed to reach out and wrap my arms around her. I needed to feel the touch of the wisps of her hair as they brushed against my cheek. I needed to breathe in her aroma of freesia and honey as I brushed my lips against her milk-white skin. But I could do none of these things. Not yet.

I leaned back against the trunk of the tree and studied her as she took another deer to the ground. She moved with such ease and grace. The deer never knew what happened as she drained its body of its essence as well. Carlisle and Esme came into view and I watched as they rushed towards me, planning to cut the herd off at the other end. In less than a heartbeat, Carlisle had the largest stag on the ground and I smiled as I watched Bella take in their quick movements. She had always wanted to watch us hunt, something I had told her could never happen, and I was sure she understood my reasoning now. How I longed to drop to the ground and ask her what she was thinking; what she was feeling.

I was so immersed with the vision of her; I was stunned back to reality as Carlisle spoke to me from his thoughts. I should have known he would sense my presence here. Although I hated the situation, I understood his reasoning and would not disappoint him any further by allowing Bella to see me. I knew he only had her best interests at heart so planned to do my best to abide by his wishes.

My spirits rose a bit more as Esme came into my view, hugging Bella to her side. I had missed my 'parents' and it pleased me to see how much Esme had already claimed Bella as one of her own. It wasn't surprising as I had seen this relationship happening before that fateful night when I forced everyone to agree to my wishes. Esme's heart had been broken that night because not only was she losing the daughter she had grown to love as one of her own, she knew she was also losing me.

I shook away the dark thoughts, allowing them to fall back beneath the cobwebs of my mind and listened as they discussed returning to the house to see if Alice and Jasper had arrived.

Bella seemed so happy, so content in her new life. It seemed impossible that her transformation could have gone so smoothly – she was simply exceptional in every way possible. Jealousy tugged at my brain as I watched Emmett tease her, pulling her beautiful hair and running with her. How I longed to reach out and do the same. I watched as the three of them ran off together towards the house.

I contemplated approaching my parents before they followed, but noticed them wrapped together in a tender moment so I purposely headed off in the other direction, avoiding their conversation. I had done so much to hurt them in the past few months, the least I could do was give them some privacy. Alone again, I headed deep in the forest, anxious to quench my thirst and immerse myself in the memory of seeing my true love again.

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**_(Bella's POV)_**

The rush of the hunt had been exhilarating and I pushed myself to the limit, running and jumping with ease like I had never experienced before. I laughed as I ran, enjoying the rush of the air as I flew through the trees towards the house. I easily beat Emmett to the steps and sat to wait for them.

I had barely sat down before the French doors opened behind me and I found myself in a tight hug. I laughed and turned to face the pixie that held me in a stranglehold. "You're squishing me, Alice"

"And you, my dear sister, are hardly breakable!" Delight danced in Alice's eyes as she kissed my cheek. "Welcome to our world, Bella!!"

I smiled in response and then looked past her to see Jasper standing in the doorway, grinning at me tentatively. "Jasper." I moved towards him with open arms and squealed as he picked me up off the ground and hugged me tightly, spinning us once around the deck. Alice's face was lit up like a Christmas tree as he let me down from his embrace.

"Bella, darlin', it is so nice not to have to worry about biting you anymore," Jasper drawled as he moved to wrap Alice in a hug.

"It's nice not to have to worry about that either, Jasper." We moved into the house and chatted together as we waited for Carlisle and Esme to return.

It was amazing how much more I could see with my new vision. Every color seemed to take on a new life, various shades flowing into each other. I wandered around the room, half listening to the conversation as I took in the design of the different textures of wood, fabric and stone that graced the library we sat in.

I reached out to touch the wood of the bookshelves, running my finger against the grain of the wood, careful not to mark it with too heavy a touch. There was such a fine line between too little and too much and I realized that the life of a vampire meant walking that tightrope very carefully if you didn't want to be exposed.

I sighed and moved towards the couch, wanting to join in on the conversation that flowed so easily between my new brothers and sisters. They were so at ease with each other and the love they felt towards one another was a devotion I did not recall having in my previous existence. I knew my parents had loved me, but they had both been selfish in their own way as well.

I felt Carlisle's presence as soon as he entered the room and looked up to greet him with a smile. I felt connected to the whole family, but knew that my bond with Carlisle would be stronger since he had been the one to sire me. Esme followed him in and wandered over to sit beside me, her cool hand patting mine as she curled up into the pillows.

I glanced around the room, taking in the faces that now meant the world to me. Family. I felt as if my heart would burst with the feelings that sparked through my veins. Yet, there was a fear as well. A fear that part of me had been forever lost in my transition. There was an emptiness inside that I couldn't pinpoint. I only hoped that with time, I would be able to lay it to rest.

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**_End of chapter - reviews might help Bella find what she is missing!!_**


	19. Chapter 19

**_Chapter 19_**

**_Stephenie Meyer owns everything from the Twilight World. Please see end of chapter for Author Notes._**

**_This chapter earns it's M status!_**

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**_(Mike's POV)_**

The boy was no more than fifteen. I watched as Victoria stalked towards him and I chuckled to myself knowing that he would fall for the same trap I had. There was no way to resist the red-headed vixen once she let her sexual aura come to full power. Sensuality seemed to flow from every cat-like move she made. She smiled at him, her eyes beckoning him with unspoken sultry promises and he moved towards her like a tiny bug caught in a black widow's web.

She turned their bodies towards me and kept her eyes locked with mine. Venom pooled against my tongue as a small drop of red formed against the corner of her mouth. I licked my lips in anticipation and felt my dick harden in response, knowing what would come next.

Dropping his wasted corpse to the ground, she gently wiped the sides of her mouth with her fingers. Her scarlet eyes never left mine as she walked towards me at human pace. She was intoxicating. A small moan escaped from my lips as she crossed the last few steps to where she had left me. It was all part of a game, one that I could end at any time, but the intense arousal that burned through me was so powerful, I couldn't resist playing along.

I leaned back in the chair she had me bound to as she straddled me, her lips meeting mine in a blistering kiss. She rubbed herself against my obvious erection and chuckled darkly, her mouth trailing kisses against my jaw and down to my neck, biting into my skin in the spot where she had first made her mark. I growled in response, pulling my hands free from their binds and wove my fingers through her hair, pulling her mouth back to mine. She was full of heat and hunger and I was more than ready to meet her demands.

My hands ran down her back and squeezed the cheeks of her ass before grabbing onto them and lifting her body as I rose from our seat. She continued to ravage my lips and neck, biting at my skin and then sealing the wounds again with her deadly kiss. With each bite my hunger grew, finally climaxing as we crashed against the cement wall of the warehouse we were currently inhabiting, bricks falling around us as we continued our attack on each other. She laughed, a deep guttural chortle from deep inside her being, as I tore away the bits of clothing that separated our bodies. She was perfection and I craved her like an addiction.

I gathered her to me as I once again slammed her back against the wall, this time my cock being the victor as I slid between her wet folds. I buried my face into the crevice between her breasts, nipping at each sweet bulb as the grinding of our two marble bodies intensified.

A dim memory of a clumsy encounter as a human flashed in my mind and I laughed out loud at the total inadequacy of that life.

Victoria.

My dark temptress.

She had taken me away from my pitiful human existence and given me a gift beyond redemption. And it wasn't all she had given me. She had promised me something even greater. A chance for revenge.

Climaxing together I allowed our bodies to slide down to the floor amongst the brick ruins. She wrapped her arms around my chest and lay with her head buried under my chin. It was such an enchanting human thing to do and even though we could have continued fucking for hours, I relished the calmer moment as well.

"What are you thinking about, Michael?" she whispered huskily as she pressed her cool lips against my chest. I didn't answer, running my fingers through her auburn tresses and pulling her head back to silence her with another kiss. I could still taste the blood of her latest kill on her tongue and the venom once again scorched my throat, an unquenchable thirst always looming.

Victoria's talons grazed my bare chest as she continued her assault on my mouth, her lips and tongue mingling with mine. Her hands found their way to my cock and she gripped it tightly in between them, her eyes flashing again with desire. Her simple touch was like an electric current to my body and I hardened again instantly. She would not have to ask twice. With speed that still amazed me, I flipped her onto her knees and pressed my raging hard-on against her tight ass. She hissed like a cat in heat as I thrust into her, my hands digging into her hips as I pulled her to match my rhythm. With each slap that my body made against hers, she moaned in delight. I grabbed her mane in my hands and pulled her head back, pressing my body over hers as I continued to take everything I could from her.

I closed my eyes and allowed the fantasy to take over… hair switching from the dark red to mahogany as I imagined her in Victoria's place. I knew what Victoria had planned and I knew that I was a pawn in her game. What she didn't realize was that I had plans of my own. Bella should have been mine and _would_ be mine, once I got rid of what stood in my way. Cullen. My hatred for him had only intensified with my transformation. I now understood what he was and the hold that he had on her. She would have been mine, had he not intoxicated her mind with his dark powers. How could she resist me now that I held those same traits? She would come to me and I would make her mine forever, no matter what Victoria had planned.

* * *

**_(Edward's POV)_**

I took my time returning to the hotel after leaving the meadow. I made my way through the woods, eager to quench my thirst after all I had witnessed that afternoon. I didn't have to travel far before picking up the scent of a bear in the vicinity. I tracked the animal for a short while and watched as it made short work of a small berry bush. Bear was not my favourite, I always tended to leave it to Emmett, but desperation did not allow me to be fickle.

Crouching low, I watched as the large bear turned and snorted at me, recognizing that it was in danger. It stood on its back legs, trying to intimidate me, but the venom had already taken over and my own animal instinct had kicked into action. I lunged at the animal, knocking it down onto its back. In defence mode, it flipped and rolled, sending us both tumbling down a short hill before landing together in a heap. Not wanting to tangle any longer, I bit into its neck, my fists clenching the sleek black fur tightly as I drank. With a sigh of defeat, I felt the bear weaken as I quickly drained away its life source. The bitterness of the blood bit at the back of my throat, but I drank hungrily, not wanting the animal to have given up its life in vain.

Sated, I pushed away from the bear and stood to bury its remains, trying to ignore the sense of regret that always whispered through my mind after taking a life. The whispers were more tolerable than the screams I had dealt with decades ago during the short time I was rebelling from Carlisle's way of life, but the monster inside still tormented me with its unquenchable thirst and desire to kill.

Once the remains were buried, I wandered through the trees as twilight took over and another day came to rest. I watched as one by one the stars above lit up the night and inhaled deeply as the peace the darkness offered enveloped me. I sat back against a large oak and stared into the sky, allowing the memory of Bella to emerge. For so long I had fought against the idea of her becoming one of us. It devastated me that her soul was now as lost as mine, yet a part of me, the selfish part of me, rejoiced in the fact that she would now be with me for all eternity.

But I was skipping ahead of myself. Maybe now that she had eternity, I would not be the person she wanted to share it with. Terror washed over me as I replayed the visions Carlisle had shared of Bella's torment and once again I was full of despair. What if she couldn't forgive me? What if she blamed me for what Victoria had done to Charlie? What if she blamed me for what Carlisle had done to her?

The questions whipped through my mind like shots being fired from a gun. I pressed my palms to the sides of my forehead, as if I were trying to shield my brain from the onslaught. Not knowing how she felt was slowly driving me insane. Perhaps this was Carlisle's way of making me pay for the pain I had caused not only Bella, but my family as well.

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and stared at the screen, fighting the urge to call. He had asked me to give Bella time and I knew that he was right in doing so. But that did not stop me from wanting to run to her side and beg forgiveness. My fingers toyed with the numbers as I slowly dialed, almost allowing it to connect before slamming the phone to my side, disconnecting.

As if in revolt, my phone began to ring. I glanced down at the screen to make sure I hadn't crushed it in anger – it would not have been the first time. It was intact and I smiled as my sister's face appeared on the screen.

"Hello, Alice"

"Edward, why are you not back at the hotel? You've been sitting there for hours."

I sighed into the phone, exasperated with the pixie. "I'm on my way there now."

"I see that." Her bell-like laugh tinkled in my ear and I smiled in spite of my frustration. It had been a long time since I had heard Alice laugh. "Jasper and I will meet you at the hotel."

I ran my hands through my hair, irritated. "I'm not really up to company, Alice."

"Oh, Brother dear, why is that not a surprise?" She paused. "Jazz and I have some news regarding Victoria."

I instantly became alert. "What kind of news?"

"We'll fill you in when we get there. Oh... and Edward?"

"Yes, Alice?"

"Please take a shower before we get there." I heard her laugh again as the phone disconnected and shook my head. Glancing down at my tattered clothes, I understood her request as I definitely looked worse for the wear from my tumble with the bear. My pants were caked with what I could only hope was mud and I grimaced at the thought of walking through the lobby in such a mess.

I made my way back to the hotel quickly, avoiding populated areas for as long as I could so I wouldn't bring any attention to myself. Thankfully the lobby was fairly empty as I went through the doors and jogged to the elevator.

I stripped as soon as I entered the room and tossed my clothing into the garbage, knowing Alice would have a conniption fit if I even considered wearing them again. As I grabbed clean clothing out of my suitcase, my hand moved over the picture frame I had brought with me from the house in Utica.

I removed the picture from the duffel and stared once again into the face of an angel. The picture meant more than ever now, as I could see the faint blush that teased at Bella's cheeks, a blush that I would never see again, no matter how entrancing she was now. I ran my finger against the glass, tracing against the outline of her face and allowing the memory of that day to absorb my mind.

Shaking myself out of what might have been, I set the frame down on the nightstand by the bed and moved towards the shower, knowing that Jasper and Alice were bound to arrive at any moment.

The hot water spray lulled me into a trance as it washed away all traces of my hunting excursion. I let the droplets stream down my face, closing my eyes as I let the warmth consume me. She was there waiting for me again, beckoning for me to join her. I smiled as I envisioned her as I had seen her earlier in the day, carefree and exuberant, all the insecurity and fear erased from her now scarlet eyes. A small hiss escaped from my lips as my body reacted to the memory of her skin glowing in the sun, begging me to reach out and touch it. I hungered to touch her, to taste her porcelain skin with my tongue. I had resisted the thought for so long, her delicate human body so breakable under my vampire touch. It had been so difficult not to allow myself that pleasure and now it was as if my body sensed that she was no longer fragile.

I ached for her and thoughts of her body beneath mine consumed me. Unable to resist, I took my throbbing erection in my hands, leaned back against the wall of the shower and allowed the fantasy to take over. She came to me now, through the steam, her hands exploring each crevice of my naked flesh as her tongue tasted my skin. Her silken body moved against mine in urgency as my hand moved along my cock and I moaned as each stroke brought me closer to her. My name, soft as a whisper, escaped from her lips as she stared up at me, her eyes no longer chocolate brown, but now black with desire. I wanted to reach out and touch her, but knew that she would only disappear in my grasp. My fantasy Bella no more touchable than the one I had left behind in the forest that day.

My concentration broken, the water seemed to chill in angry response and I slid to the floor of the stall, gasping in frustration. Angry at allowing myself the indulgence of the fantasy, I picked myself up and opened the door of the shower, careful not to have my ire shatter the glass. I grabbed a towel, dried and dressed and headed out to the main room, anxious to have Alice and Jasper's visit over with so I could lose myself to the night.

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**_End of chapter - would love to your thoughts!!_**

**_A/N - As always I need to thank LolaRose for being there to talk me through and to changedbyEdward for her broad thesaurus skills (wink, wink!) and for beta'ing my jibberish!! Love ya both!_**

**_I was absolutely thrilled to find out that this little story has been nominated for a couple of categories at the Indie Twific Awards. Truly an honor to even be considered!_**

**_A Different Kind of Moon has also begun its journey at Twilighted. My lovely beta has also been kind enough to start me a thread over at the forums, so if you are wandering by, please stop in and say hello!! Have a great week everyone!_**

**_:o)_**


	20. Chapter 20

**_A/N - Hi everyone! Sorry this chapter has taken a bit longer to get out to you.....Bella was not being cooperative in telling her part of the story!! But here it is finally! I have to admit that I have fallen behind a bit in answering reviews but I have read each and every one and really appreciate your feedback!_**

**_Lolarose and changedbyEdward - you two are the greatest - not sure what I would do without ya! Thanks for the fast beta turnaround bb......you rock hard!_**

**_Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight......I am just messing with it!!_**

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**_(Carlisle's POV)_**

I watched Bella carefully as she wandered the library. Her love for literature had definitely followed her into her new existence – a blessing I was truly thankful for. Our eternal life definitely held some drawbacks, boredom being one of the largest issues, but having a strong love for the written word was certainly an aid in that factor. She ran her hands along the shelf, completely engrossed, pulling out a book here and there to give it closer study.

I glanced over towards my desk, waiting. She had almost rounded the room and I was interested to see her reaction once she stood behind my desk. I had considered removing the picture that sat there, but then thought better of it. She still had made no mention of Edward and I had to know if he had been wiped from her memory during the change. I hoped that once she saw the photo of the two of them together, it would cause some kind of reaction, but did not want to force it on her.

She turned to glance at me, shyly smiling as she realized I had been studying her. I smiled back and picked up the newspaper in front of me, not wanting to distract her. She had been very quiet and thoughtful after we had returned from the hunt, taking in all the discussions around her, but mostly staying silent except for a few moments of play with Emmett. She seemed very much at ease, her composure as a newborn, truly mystifying to me. There had been no strong intoxication of bloodlust, no mood swings, no destroyed furniture or clothing – it was truly mind-boggling how in control she appeared to be.

The only rationale I could think explained it was the fact that Bella knew what her existence would be after the change. Although I had not given her any time to consider things before changing her, I was positive that it had been something she had thought about for a long time. She had spent an entire summer with us before Edward made the decision to leave, and in truth, we had been quite comfortable having her with us and had really let our guard down. Perhaps all that time had given her something to grasp onto during the long three days she had suffered through the burn.

"Carlisle?"

I raised my head and looked over the newspaper. "Yes, Bella?" She stood near the desk, but not close enough to see the photo.

"Can you tell me about Charlie again?" Her voice was barely more than a whisper and I noticed a slight shake to her hand as she placed a book back on the shelf.

"What do you remember, Bella? Do you recall anything of what we discussed before?"

She moved to the couch and sat across from me, wringing her hands in a very human way. "I know that he died. I remember you telling me that. But I don't remember how or when. I don't even remember the funeral. How can I not remember my own father's funeral?" Her voice raised a little and I noticed agitation for the first time since her re-birth.

I leaned across, taking her hands in my own. "Bella, I will tell you everything you have asked, but you must remember to remain calm. Your newborn instincts are most likely going to try to take over because this will be upsetting to you. You have to remember that you are in control. Alright?"

Her scarlet eyes glittered as she looked into my face and nodded. "I will," she whispered.

I held her hands and again told her the details of her father's passing. I reminded her of Victoria and how she had gotten away from us the previous summer. I told her as much as I could without bringing Edward's name into the discussion, and she did not mention him either. Her hands tightened around mine as I explained how the Quileute wolves had found Charlie and that there had been no service as they were concerned for her safety. Bella hung her head for a few minutes, processing everything I had told her. "Jacob found him?" She looked into my eyes once again, and then putting my words together in her mind, she looked at me questioningly. "You said wolves. I don't understand. Carlisle, are you telling me that Jacob Black is a werewolf?"

I nodded hesitantly, not sure how this would affect her, but she remained calm, the melancholy of our discussion floating around the room like storm clouds waiting to combust. Moments passed and I waited for the questions that I was sure would follow, but they never came. Instead, she stood quietly and moved back towards the bookshelf. I watched for a few moments, unsure of how she was processing everything I had told her. When she continued her tour of the bookshelf, I returned my thoughts to the newspaper, remaining alert for some reaction.

I didn't have to wait long as she turned quickly to face me. "So I suppose you're going to tell me that witches, ghosts and Big Foot all exist, too!" Her tone was sarcastic and I could not help but laugh aloud as she stood staring me down with her hands on her hips, waiting for me to answer.

"Well, I am not sure about Big Foot…." I wheezed out as she tossed a book in my direction, gasping the moment it made contact with my forehead.

Instantly her demeanour changed. "Oh my God, Carlisle!! I'm so sorry – I don't know what I was thinking!" She looked at me, terrified.

"Bella, it's fine. You didn't hurt me, although I really thought you held Shakespeare in higher regard." I smiled as I tossed the book back at her. She reached out and grabbed it in mid-air, staring in shock as the book made perfect contact with her hand. She turned it in wonder, studying the cover and then dropping into the chair behind her, a look of confusion instantly spreading over her face.

"_Romeo and Juliet_," she whispered quietly.

I waited, silently, unsure how to proceed. Her face was a canvas of emotion, her eyes reflecting each feeling to me….loss, anger, despair and mostly confusion. I wondered exactly how to handle her, suddenly wishing that Jasper and Alice had not decided to leave so soon.

The sound of the book hitting the floor echoed simultaneously with a hiss. I knew my earlier wish had come true as my eyes met Bella's, now turned from scarlet to jet black as she clutched the picture frame against her chest. Her hiss turned to a growl as she stalked towards me, her movements reminding me of a deadly panther on the prowl.

"_Where. Is. He?!_"

* * *

_**(Bella's POV)**_

I wandered the library quietly, not wanting to disturb Carlisle from his reading. I was thankful for the peace and quiet that had enveloped the house, relishing the opportunity to process everything that had happened since I had awakened. I ran my hands along the shelves, taking in the titles quickly as I scanned along. I was quite confident that I had already compiled a 'must read' list over a mile long, but the feel of the books beneath my fingers offered a sense of calm.

The afternoon spent with my new family had been wonderful, yet overwhelming. They had all accepted me so readily into their lives and it was astounding how comfortable I felt with my new being in such a short amount of time. I had been so intimidated about my first hunt, yet Rosalie had made it seem so effortless. I still couldn't believe that I hadn't spilled a drop.

Having Alice and Jasper here when we returned had been a true gift. They were so warm and comfortable with each other that you couldn't help but have some of that feeling rub off on you. The love in this family was unending and it was an honour to now be considered one of them, yet, something was still missing. I had spent the afternoon listening to them banter back and forth, hoping something would trigger the answer to the nagging feeling I had, but I was still at a loss.

Rosalie and Emmett had been quick to fill Alice and Jasper in on my first hunting excursion, both of them so excited I had barely been able to get a word in edgewise. I let them tell their story and once they finished, I turned to Alice and asked her if she knew anything about Emmett's first hunting experience. Jasper had been quick to respond, chuckling madly and a moment later Emmett had him pinned to the floor in a wrestler's hold. Unable to resist, Rosalie turned to me, her eyes dancing with laughter. Even now I fought back a chuckle as I remembered the tale while I continued to peruse the massive library.

"_Emmett woke up hungry, ready to search out the bear that had attacked him. There was no stopping him as he tore out of the Alaskan house, ready to tangle with whatever beast he met. Carlisle and I ran after him, not overly worried as there wasn't a human within five hundred miles of where we were staying. _

"_We watched him tear ahead over a hill and through a ravine, his laughter a treat to hear after three days of screaming while he suffered through the change. A loud crash followed by a splash and yelling caught both of us by surprise, so we picked up the chase and found him quickly._

At this point in the story, Emmett had grabbed Rose by the waist, smothering her with a sloppy kiss and whispering suggestive innuendos in her ear to try and lure her away, but Rose was on a roll and slapped at his arms, laughing, until he let her up and sat back on the couch, arms folded and pouting like a school boy. The story then continued….

"_By the time Carlisle and I reached the crest of the hill, the shouts and splashing had become much louder and more colourful. And there we found him, submerged in the water, chasing after an otter! There must have been a half dozen of them and they all seemed convinced that Emmett was a giant dog, swimming in and out between his flailing arms and legs, tripping him so that he couldn't make his way out of the waterhole. He hadn't yet found his grace or coordination. Carlisle and I were on the riverbank rolling with laughter while this giant could not hold onto an otter to save his soul. Every time he would grab one, it would slither out of his hands and then almost taunt him with the fact that it had escaped_. _Needless to say, Emmett's first hunting attempt was hardly a success and to this day he has yet to try capturing the elusive otter!_

At this point Emmett mumbled something about them being slippery, slimy creatures, which made everyone laugh all the harder. Gripping my sides to control the laughter, I had made my way over to the couch to sit by my "brother."

"Emmett?" I asked sweetly.

"What do you want, Bell?" He eyed me suspiciously and his voice was laced with irritation.

"Aww Em, don't be like that. It was all in good fun and it was just the laugh I needed."

Appeased a little, he patted my hand. "Glad I could help then."

"Em, will you do me a favour, though?"

"Sure, Bells, whaddya want?" He beamed at me, pleased to have the attention of the story away from him.

"Will you take me otter hunting tomorrow?" I dashed from the couch as he chased me around the room and out into the hall. He was stronger, but I was faster, and I laughed all the harder as he cursed and ran after me. Out the front door I went, past the first line of trees until I couldn't see him. I heard Jasper yell in the distance that I was as slippery as an otter and I waited for Emmett's retort but there was none. Stunned that I had beaten him so easily, I emerged from my hiding place, only to find myself flying through the air in a wrestler's embrace, Emmett's huge arms tucking me into a stranglehold as he roared with laughter.

"You may be faster, Baby Bells, but I still got years of experience on ya!"

Chuckling, I shook myself free of the memory of the afternoon past to continue my exploration of the bookshelf. I felt Carlisle's eyes on me and I suddenly felt badly that I was once again a nuisance, someone constantly having to stay with me and babysit.

It reminded me of when Alice and Jasper looked after me when everything happened with James. One memory suddenly triggered another. Victoria. I turned to Carlisle and even though he was trying very hard to appear buried in his newspaper, I asked him to tell me again about Charlie.

It was amazing how some memories were so vivid, yet others were clouded with cobwebs, hazy reflections of the past. I remembered Carlisle telling me of my father's death, but it seemed such a distant memory, even though I knew it had only just happened. I didn't even remember a funeral. _How is it that I don't remember my own father's funeral?_

I listened closely as he told me everything again. I sat, shell-shocked, as he told me about the Quileute wolves and how Jacob had found Charlie. Did that mean Jacob was a wolf?

My mind started to work overtime as I considered all the possibilities that I had once considered fairytales.

I didn't mean for my question to come out so sarcastically when I asked if there were witches, ghosts and Big Foot as well, but in reality I was just totally confused.

_How do people live their lives so oblivious to all that is around them?_ _We are raised to believe that all of these characters are fictitious, yet I am now 'living proof' that at least some of these characters really do exist._

I didn't even realize I had thrown the book at Carlisle until I saw it in his hands, a look of surprise emblazoned on his face. Anxiety raced through my body and I fought the urge to run, begging his forgiveness.

The look of fatherly affection that greeted this comment rocked me to the core, but in turn tore me to pieces. I felt guilty for throwing the book, guilty for him having to stay with me and guilty for feeling more love for the vampire that stood in front of me than I had ever felt for the father I had lost. _What kind of monster am I? _He tossed the book back to me and the title, Romeo and Juliet, loomed out at me – a giant question mark in my mind. Anxiety pulsed through me, locked away memories tugging at my mind, begging to be freed. I pressed my hands against my head, begging for them to retreat.

Not wanting Carlisle to see my distress, my eyes wandered the room, looking for anything to clear the dark thoughts that were flooding into my mind. A picture frame on his desk caught my attention instantly, pulling me to it as if it were a magnet and a missing puzzle piece slipped into place.

I felt the frame in my hands, not even realizing I had grabbed it from the desk. Venom coursed into the back of my throat and I hissed in reaction. I stared at the vision before me, the bronze-haired boy that had haunted my nightmares for so long. Edward.

_How is it possible that he has eluded my thoughts since the change took place? Does he even know that I have chosen eternity? Will he ever forgive me? Can I ever forgive him? _

A whirlwind of emotions swam around me as I stared at the photograph in my hands. It took everything in me not to crush the pewter frame that held the memory of the two of us together. So long ago. A world of sorrow had occurred since that photo was taken – most of it caused simply by him not loving me enough to stay.

_If he had stayed, would Charlie still be alive? If he had stayed, would I be a vampire? If he had stayed, would my world still be a place of light?_

Darkness crept into my thoughts as I remembered his final words to me. _"You aren't good for me, Bella. I don't want you."_

_How dare he! How dare he take my heart and then shatter it! How dare he say he wouldn't take my soul and then steal it away in the blink of an eye! I may have been a confused little girl that he could toss away like a used toy before, but not anymore. He owes me answers. He owes me a soul._

I could not fight the darkness taking hold of me and I saw the concern in Carlisle's eyes as I moved towards him, my eyes never leaving his. He would answer my question – I was owed that much.

"_Where. Is. He?!_"

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_**End of Chapter - Please review or I will send those pesky little otters after ya! Of course that might make Emmett follow.... :o)**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**A/N - will make this is as short as I can! First, apologies for the delay...major case of writer's block and RL got in the way! Big thanks to my rockin' beta, changedbyEdward for beta'ing this almost the minute I sent it!!! I hope y'all aren't too angry with me for this chapter but I promise......things will work out!**_

_**I want to thank everyone for the kind reviews.....I know I sound like a broken record but I will respond and I have read every single one - thank you all so much for sticking with the story. It has been nominated for a couple of categories at theindieTwificAwards so if you feel like voting - please do so.....there are alot of great stories nominated over there!!!! OK no more babbling!!!!! **_

_**Steph owns everything Twilight - I am just borrowing.....wishing it was mine!**_

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_**(Edward's POV)**_

I stood in the middle of my hotel room staring at the two of them in disbelief. "Alice, are you sure?" She nodded and I moved to the window, staring out into the Seattle night.

_I should never have left._

How many times had that thought crossed my mind in the past week?I had believed that leaving Forks behind, leaving Bella behind, would keep her safe, give her the chance at a real life. Yet, all it had done was cause her pain.

Memories of the images Carlisle had thrown at me, showing me the inner turmoil I had triggered in her life were almost more than I could bear. Yet this was only one of the horrible things I had provoked. Charlie's death was my fault. If I hadn't left and forced my family to follow, we would have been here to protect Bella and all those she cared about. And now there were more names to add to the list…Jessica, Lauren, Mike. If I hadn't left, Bella would still be alive.

That final thought was like a dagger to my chest and once again the venom surged to my throat. The anger I felt towards Carlisle for changing her had dwindled, but I still could not completely forgive him for making that fateful choice.

Jasper spoke, tearing me away from my thoughts. "Edward, that isn't the worst of it. We believe that Victoria didn't just kill Newton. We think she turned him."

"She turned him? Mike Newton is a vampire?!" I looked into their thoughts, seeking confirmation. Neither of them had actually seen him, but they were convinced that it was a strong possibility.

We had severely underestimated Victoria and now Bella and the town of Forks were paying the price. I wasn't really concerned at the thought of Newton being turned – he was a newborn and would be strong, but he had never been the brightest bulb on the tree, so I knew he would make a mistake and that we would get him in the end. However, it did bother me that Victoria had ripped three people from Bella's life – she would ultimately feel responsible for this. It also concerned me that Victoria appeared to be building an army and if the trail of death she had left in her wake were any indication, it was not a small group.

Sighing, I dropped to the closest chair and pushed my hands through my mess of hair. "How is she?"

It was all I could do not to drag myself through each of their thoughts, I was so desperate for any information on her at all, but fought back the urge. I had betrayed everyone and it would take a lot to make up all the ground I had lost. Not intruding into their minds was one of those efforts to try and regain their trust.

Alice smiled tentatively. "She's beautiful, Edward. And she's coping very well. You..." She stopped mid-sentence and I immediately stood, going to her side as Jasper placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Al, c'mon, darlin', what is it?" No matter how many times Alice had these visions, Jasper always feared for her. I knew he feared that one would be so strong that she would not make it back to him.

The vision passed and Alice looked at me worriedly.

"What, Alice? Talk to me! Is it Bella? Is something wrong?"

She shook her head and pointed to my phone, as it simultaneously began to ring. Exasperated, I grabbed it from the nightstand and saw immediately that it was Carlisle.

"Carlisle, what's wrong?"

"Edward, you need to come to the house immediately and make sure Alice and Jasper come with you." I tensed as I heard growling in the background, along with Emmett and Rosalie's voices.

"What's happened?"

"Son, I would rather not discuss it over the phone, but you need to come to the house. Bella would like to speak with you."

His words ignited a scorching flame and I was overwhelmed by the emotions that flew through my being. Bella. She wanted to see me. It had been so long and I could not wait to hold her in my arms again. I told Carlisle we were already on our way, ended the call and turned to face my siblings, only to find Alice's face encased in worry.

"Edward," she began, "you need to know this is not going to be a walk in the park. Bella is scared and upset and very agitated. I actually have never seen her as angry as what I have just visualized. You need to be prepared that this is not going to be as easy a reunion as what you were hoping for."

"It doesn't matter, Alice. I will take whatever she is willing to offer. I just need to see her, have the chance to beg her forgiveness…"

Alice cut me off, shaking her head violently. "You aren't going to have the opportunity to do much of that today. She is _really_ upset, Edward. You need to understand that and be prepared."

I nodded, although I was convinced that Alice was probably over-exaggerating, wanting me to go easy on Bella at first. It didn't matter – all that mattered was she wanted me. She wanted to see me and nothing was going to stand in my way.

I followed Alice and Jasper out to the Mercedes and slid into the back seat. They were both quiet, lost in their own thoughts, which was exactly where I needed to be. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the back of the seat, allowing the purr of the engine to lull me into a relaxed stated of consciousness. Memories flooded my head.

_Bella's first day at Forks High... _

_At the restaurant in Port Angeles... _

_In the forest when we declared our love... _

Each memory was a snapshot of our time together and the parade just continued.

_In the hospital after James... _

_Prom... _

_Playing baseball... _

_Our meadow... _

_Her birthday..._

Remorse filled my senses and I gripped the seat as the visions that my family had so recently shared came to light. Instantly I felt my mood lighten and calm enveloped me. I cracked an eye open and saw Jasper watching me from the rear view mirror, his eyebrow raised in question.

I shrugged in response, unable to put into words what I needed to say to Jasper regarding that day. I am sure he knew that he was not the only one to blame for what happened that day and when the time was right, I would make my peace with him. But at that moment, my only thoughts were with the one who was waiting for me.

_**(Bella's POV)**_

An eerie silence hung over the library as Emmett and Rosalie eyed me warily from the sofa. I hadn't spoken to anyone since Carlisle had disconnected the call with Edward and I knew that they were unsure of what to say to me.

I walked towards the French doors that led out to the expansive yard and stared into the lush green woods that lined the property. So many emotions were rushing through my body and I was having a difficult time remaining calm. Venom pooled into my throat as I fought against the anger that itched to be released.

Carlisle stood beside me and I waited for him to speak, but he remained silent, as if in thought. Finally, I could take the silence no longer, so I turned to face him. My jaw felt as if it were locked in stone as I spoke to him in a low forced tone. "How could he do it, Carlisle? How could he just leave me like that? How can you do that to someone you supposedly love?"

I didn't wait for a response, whirling to face Emmett and Rose. "I know you both mean well being here, but I need to do this alone." I turned back to face the door, not bothering to watch to see if they left.

Carlisle placed a hand on my shoulder, urging me to turn and face him. "Bella," his tone was soft and comforting, yet I felt nothing of the sort. "I know you are angry, but please give Edward a chance to explain himself."

"There is nothing to explain. He deserted me. I don't understand why and frankly I don't want to. I just want him to know that he doesn't need to worry – I don't plan on staying around to cramp his style."

"Bella, you can't leave us…where will you go? We love you and want you to remain a part of this family."

"How can I stay, Carlisle? He never wanted this existence for me. He didn't want to be stuck with me for all eternity, so I don't plan on forcing him. I don't think I can stay and ever look him in the eye without blaming him for Charlie's death. If he had stayed, if the past 6 months had not happened, perhaps my father would still be alive."

And there it was. The truth of my hostility towards Edward Cullen draped the room in a cold dense fog. Anger rolled off me as I fought the destructive urge that quelled beneath.

"Bella, please." Carlisle placed his hands on my shoulders and turned me to face him.

His golden eyes were imploring, an ocean of emotions laid out for me to see as I peered into my maker's face. The devotion I felt towards this man was overwhelming – he had rescued me from the darkness that had enveloped my life and had given me a whole new world. I knew that whatever he would ask of me would be difficult, if not impossible, to deny, so I shook my head and lowered my gaze to my feet.

"Please, Carlisle, don't ask me. I need to speak with Edward before I make any decisions, but you know that I won't be able to deny anything you ask of me."

I felt his arms tighten around me and I burrowed into his embrace, allowing myself the indulgence of having him be a father to me, even if only for a few moments more. We stood there quietly, lost in our own thoughts, only moving when we heard the distant purr of the Mercedes pulling into the drive. I pulled away and looked up at Carlisle, memorizing his image in case it would be the last time I saw him.

"Please tell Edward I will be in the backyard. I would appreciate a few moments alone with him." Without waiting for his response, I opened the door and disappeared into the twilight.

I moved soundlessly across the lawn, positioning myself near the tree line. Anxiety wound around my being like a constrictor strangling a rodent for a decadent meal. _How did we come to this?_ Distant foggy memories of another discussion in a forest like this teased at my memory and I fought to capture the images in my mind. He had left me, deserted me, forcing his family to do the same, never considering the consequences of the choice he made. _How could someone who supposedly loved you make that choice? How could he leave me, defenceless?_

A door opened then closed and I raised my eyes to meet his as he approached me slowly. A small smile hinted at his lips and the part of me that still craved his touch burned to run to him and close the distance between us. But I stayed where I was, and urged my body to turn to stone as he moved towards me.

"Don't come any closer," I seethed and watched as it became his turn to freeze in place. His eyes searched mine, longingly and with a bit of trepidation – I was convinced he was well aware by my body language that it would not be the reunion everyone had hoped for.

"Bella." His voice was like the whisper of an angel, beckoning me closer.

"Don't, Edward. I don't want to hear it." Immediately there was silence. "I only have a few things to say to you and would appreciate that you allow me to talk without interrupting."

He eyed me, his eyes begging for an opportunity to speak, but he simply nodded his assent.

Hundreds of thoughts surged into my mind as I tried to decide how to proceed, when all I wanted to do was run into his arms and never let go. I moved away from him and closer to the trees, trying to distance myself from the magnetic pull he had on me. I captured a vision of Charlie in my mind, holding it close to my heart and allowed the anger to once again take control.

"Why, Edward? Why did you do this to me? How could you do this to me? To Charlie? It's your fault, Edward. My father's blood is on your hands! How could you let this happen?" The questions hurled out of my mouth like daggers and I watched his beautiful smile shatter into a million pieces.

A rush of pressure echoed through my ears as I felt my body shake with anger. The anguish written across Edward's face told me he had no answers and I screamed in frustration while he watched me silently, his eyes pleading with me to let him explain. But it was too late… I sucked the cold evening air into my dead lungs and spat at him, "There's no way I can ever forgive you. You are exactly the monster you always begged me to see you for. I hate you for what you've done. I _**hate **_you!!"

With my final words I tore off through the trees, praying my newborn abilities would carry me far away into the night, away from the insanity that had become my life.

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_**End of Chapter - please don't throw stones!! Would love to hear your thoughts though!!**_


	22. Chapter 22

_**A/N - Have to say thank you for not stoning me out of the fandom for the last chap! I am terribly, terribly behind on responding to reviews but want you all to know how MUCH they mean to me - the positive and the negative!!! They truly inspire me to write so please keep them coming.**_

**_I know I sound like a broken record here but I can not stress enough how much I appreciate the friendships I have made in the Twilight world....hugs to you all and thanks for being there!!! Especially my ultrafab beta, changedbyEdward, - you continue to rock my world bb....so grateful to have you as a friend and confidante. LolaRose, my partner in crime......your heart is the biggest and kindest I have ever known - thanks for your CONSTANT support and laughter!_**

**_Steph owns all Twilight - oh to be in her shoes!!!_**

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_**(Edward's POV)**_

The lights of the house flickered invitingly as we drove up the winding drive, almost beckoning me to vault out of the vehicle and sprint for the door. The exhilaration of knowing that my Bella was waiting for me just a few short steps from where we sat was almost more than I could stand. The minute Jasper brought the car to a stop, I was out the door and bounding up the steps, Alice not far behind.

Emmett and Rose were standing on the porch waiting for us, but I didn't give them a chance to say anything as I rushed through the front entrance and towards the library, following the intoxicating scent of freesia, Bella's scent. Carlisle met me at the doorway, his hand raised to motion for me to stop. It was all I could do to abide by his wishes. My entire being was pleading to find my beloved – we had been apart far too long already.

"Edward," Carlisle began.

"Where is she, Carlisle? I _need_ to see her." I looked over his shoulder, attempting to gain a glimpse of her in the room behind him.

"She's out in the backyard and has asked for you to meet with her out there." I moved to go past him, but he put his hands on my shoulders. "Edward, stop." I growled in frustration, without meaning to, but did as he asked. "Son, you need to know that she is not in a good frame of mind. She's angry and upset and…"

"Carlisle, please! Just let me go to her. I need to see her, to tell her what a fool I've been. _Please!_" I begged him and watched as his shoulders slumped in defeat. As he turned to allow me past, I flew to the doors leading out to the garden. Alice made to follow me, but Carlisle stopped her, telling her Bella needed to see me on her own. I didn't look back as I made my way outside, Bella being the only one I needed.

The garden was dark, beautiful and quiet. I inhaled deeply, the essence of my beloved strong in the air, and I closed my eyes briefly, allowing my body to consume the aroma I had yearned for so long. I opened my eyes and found her immediately, standing at the edge of the garden, her skin iridescent under the light of the moon. I had always found her beautiful, but as a vampire, she was quite simply, ravishing. I stared for a moment, drinking in her undeniable beauty, anxiously wanting to take her in my arms and never let her go.

I took another step towards her, unable to stop the grin that fought to take over my face; I was so elated to be in her presence again. A sudden hiss stopped me in my tracks and I waited as she told me not to come any closer. It took everything in me to do as she demanded, but I stood still and waited for her to make the first move.

It was then that I noticed her trembling and I sensed the anger that she was fighting so hard to reign in. I knew that she was upset with me, Alice had been more than willing to share that information with me on the drive over, but this was more than anger, this was sheer fury.

I breathed her name and she started towards me but stopped herself. I could see she was in turmoil, fighting to hold herself back and I waited, hoping she would allow herself to come to me. But it didn't happen. Her words then flew at me like poisoned arrows, fast and furious, cutting into my being like shards of glass. I felt myself crumple as she spoke of her father and how I was to blame, but when she told me she hated me, it was more than I could bear.

I stared in disbelief as she disappeared into the night, unable to move, unable to follow her. Her final words - that she finally believed me to be the monster I always told her I was - echoed in my brain and I fell against a tree, sliding to the ground, unable to believe that after everything that had happened, I had lost her.

I am not sure how much time passed before Alice made her way into the garden, Jasper close behind her.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I tried to get you to see…" Alice began, but I held my hand up, silently begging her to stop. She nodded and just sat beside me, her hand pressed over mine in comfort. I looked around and saw that Jasper had disappeared and realized he had gone after Bella.

"Alice?" I questioned, unsure I really wanted to know.

"I don't know, Edward. I'm so sorry. She is so upset that her mind is changing as quickly as her heart used to beat. Just give her some time. Jasper will try and calm her and see if he can convince her to return. She has suffered so much, Edward. More than any of us really know."

I nodded wordlessly, knowing that I alone had caused her that suffering.

_**(Bella's POV)**_

I ran. It was the only choice I could make. Branches snapped as they smacked against my charging body, but I felt nothing. As angry as I was, I still revelled in my new found speed and strength and felt glory in the distance I was able to put between us in no time at all. I had expected Edward to follow, a small part of me hoping, even though I had meant every word I had spoken to him. But he didn't follow.

I stopped for a moment, twisting and turning in the forest, trying to get my bearings. I knew that I had no reason to fear being lost – it wasn't as if I would perish out in the wilderness, but I could not help but fight back the memories from the past. Lost, alone and broken in a forest like this.

"No!!!!" I screamed and shoved my hands against the trunk of a cedar, only to watch the massive evergreen rip its roots from the earth and crash to the ground. I dropped to the forest floor, pressing my back up against the trunk of the tree. I needed to gather my thoughts and determine my next steps. Anguish overwhelmed me as I realized that the Cullen family was once again lost to me - once again because of Edward. If only I had not seen the picture on Carlisle's desk, but I knew that it would have only been a matter of time before I regained the memory of him. Edward. I closed my eyes and sorted through the faint human memories that were slowly making their way back to the surface of my subconscious – snapshots of the tender moments we had shared, the horrors we had faced, the love we had nurtured and the physical attraction we had denied ourselves. It would be so easy to cling to those memories and allow the other darker ones to slide away. If I did that, I could allow him back into my life. We could be together with no fear, only love. I could have the family I so longed to call my own.

_He left you – deserted you because you weren't good enough for him. _

Darker memories fought their way through and clenched at my stilled heart. These were the memories that had tortured my soul so much that I had been locked away – a living zombie. Now these memories could do nothing other than force the venom to my throat. Rage and an overwhelming sense of betrayal weighed heavily on my shoulders as I held my head in my hands and begged for tears that I could no longer shed.

The forest was quiet – too quiet. Sensing that someone was on my trail, I took off running again. I had no idea where I was going – I only knew that I couldn't go back. The landscape flew past me in a blur, but I was forced to slow down as I saw the terrain becoming more open. Once again I was swept into a memory of happier times as I stepped into an open meadow similar to the one in my mind. Shaking away the cobwebs, I listened carefully for the sounds of whoever had been following me but heard nothing. I moved slowly into the field, carefully studying the landscape as a gentle breeze teased at the tree limbs above.

A rush came over me as I inhaled deeply, the venom rapidly surging to my throat as the blood lust took hold. I searched the tree line to find the animal that smelled so delectable – the scent so powerfully sweet and musky all at the same time. Blinded by my thirst, I lunged in the direction the aroma came from, rushing through the trees and tackling it to the ground, my jaws locking as I bit into the jugular and drank in the sweetest nectar I had ever tasted. I felt the warm blood seeping down my throat and I moaned in ecstasy as the final droplets wet my tongue. Fully sated, my senses returned and I gazed down to look at the fur I was holding in my hands, wondering what animal had quenched my thirst so well. My pleasure turned to horror as I dropped the fur in front of me and screamed at the sight. A long silver braid tinted with ebony trailed down the back of the buckskin fur coat that covered the remains of the man I had just murdered. I backed away in horror, repulsed, only to find two strong arms encircling me from behind in a tight embrace.

"Bella." His one word sent me over the edge as I turned to face him, now understanding everything I had ever put him through by being in his presence.

"Jasper, what have I done?" I collapsed against him and he held me tightly to his chest. Although I didn't like him to use his gift on me, I didn't fight it as I felt a relaxing calm take hold of me. He led me to a fallen trunk and I sat and watched dumbly as he quickly moved towards the remains of the man I had murdered.

Glancing back towards me, he motioned for me to wait where I was as he effortlessly hoisted the old trapper over his shoulder and ran into the trees. I sat there, still as a stone, not noticing how much time passed – lost in the horrors of the crime I had just committed. I was a monster.

Jasper returned and took a seat on the trunk next to me, his arm encircling me and pulling me close to his frame. I leaned towards him and closed my eyes, unable to speak. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head against his shoulder and allowed my tearless sobs to take hold of me. He didn't say anything, just held onto me and let me grieve for what I had done. When I finally felt able to put words together, I straightened and looked him in the eye, expecting revulsion, yet only finding compassion.

"I am so sorry, Jasper."

He nodded and squeezed my hand. "Bella, the fact that you realize you did wrong is proof enough to me that this was not intentional. It doesn't change what you have done. A man is dead because of your actions and that is something you will have to carry with you eternally, but I am the last person who should judge you for that."

I nodded, not knowing what to say in response.

"We need to go back – the rest of the family will be getting worried." Jasper stood and reached his hand out for mine.

"I can't go back, Jasper. Especially, now." I hung my head in defeat.

_How will I ever face Carlisle and Esme? _

Less than 48 hours after waking up to my new existence and I had already committed the heinous act that they fought on a daily basis to resist.

Jasper kneeled in front of me, his hand forcing my chin up so that I would meet his eyes. The reflection of my scarlet eyes in his golden ones brought on a new wave of horror and I gasped at the sight.

"Bella, you have to come back. You are not ready to be on your own and we want you to stay. I know that you and Edward have issues to work through, but that doesn't mean you have to go."

Edward. He would be mortified when he found out what I had done. I moved away from Jasper and stood to watch the sun as it made its way into the sky. As angry as I was at him for everything that had happened, I could not blame him for this. I had been so quick to judge him, to throw the book at him for everything that had happened. I cringed as I remembered every detail of the words I had spoken before running off – it now seemed like a lifetime ago. I had called him a monster and told him I hated him. I knew that I had destroyed him with those simple words. And now who was the monster? I was no better than him.

"He loves you, Bella." Jasper's words, barely a whisper, hung in the air. "The only reason he left you was because he thought he was protecting you from our world."

I turned to face him. "But it didn't protect me, did it? And it didn't protect Charlie either. Why, Jasper? Why didn't he trust me enough to let me make my own choices?"

"I can't answer that, Bella. Maybe that is something you need to ask him yourself." He moved closer and extended his hand to me again. "I am not promising that you guys can find each other again, but you need to at least hear each other out. Please Bella, come home with me."

"What about the trapper, Jasper? What will happen?" I had to know, even though I sensed he would rather I had not asked.

"I scattered his remains close to a grizzly den. If anyone discovers anything they will assume he met up with a predator that he was unable to escape. I looked to see if I could find any identification on him, but he carried nothing."

I nodded, remorse rattling me thoroughly. "I appreciate what you did for me," I said softly.

His hand tightened on mine as he pulled me towards the long trail leading back to the house. "That's what family is for."

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_**End of chapter - Reviews are just like Jasper's hugs - simply wonderful!!!!**_


	23. Chapter 23

_**A/N - As always thanks to my wonderful beta and friend, changedbyEdward - you rock bb! **_

**_The continued support of this story warms my heart....thanks to all who have reviewed, favourited, etc!! I know I suck at responding...but I do read every single one!!!_**

**_Stephenie Meyer - owns all things Twilight and I continue to happily borrow! _**

_**Chapter 23**_

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_**(Jasper's POV)**_

At first, Bella didn't speak as we made our way back towards the house, but she was by no means quiet. The emotional waves that travelled off of her were astounding and I fought to keep myself in check as she battled with the disgust in herself for what she had done, as well as the desire to taste human blood again, even though the thought of the trapper's death caused her such grief. I had offered to calm her but she refused, stating she needed to feel the emotions, the pain. I agreed in a sense, but considered her very brave for doing so and told her that. She smiled at me sadly and we continued the journey. I only had to stop her from turning on her heel and running twice, not because of a human, but because she hated the thought of facing the family, especially Carlisle and Esme.

As we got closer to home, I organized the thoughts in my mind and spoke silently to

Edward, asking him to let me bring her in on my own terms and to explain to the family what had happened. I pictured the details of the events in my mind so that he would understand. I knew that Alice had most likely seen this happening, but knew that he would value hearing it from me as well.

I felt Bella's hand on my arm as she stopped suddenly, the house now distantly in sight. "Jasper, thank you again for everything you did today. And I want to tell you how sorry I am." The feelings of guilt and remorse that radiated from her were overpowering.

"Bella, darlin', I told you that you don't need to apologize, I.."

"No, Jasper, not for that. I mean I do, but…I understand now what I put you all through, especially you, on a daily basis. I had no idea."

"No, darlin'. I know you didn't and I know that you probably don't believe me right now, but it does get easier. You have to realize that we weren't newborns suffering from bloodlust and most of the time it wasn't that difficult to be near you…"

"Except when I cut myself," she whispered.

"Well, no, that didn't help, but it was my fault as well. I should have taken the time to hunt before your party and I didn't. That was poor judgement on my part, but as you have learned, we all make mistakes." I stared into her scarlet eyes, and for the first time since she had changed, wished they were chocolate brown. I had selfishly welcomed her to our family, but knowing that she would live with this now for all eternity was not what I wanted for my newest sister.

"I have a hard time believing I will ever be able to resist it enough. I can't imagine being able to be near a human ever again without wanting…" Her eyes took on a look of terror. Sensing her fear, I knew she was fighting the urge to run again. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug, kissing her lightly on the top of her head.

"Listen to me, Bella. You are only two days old to this life and already you have shown a tremendous amount of restraint." She stared at me in disbelief. "I know what you are thinking, but you were upset and scared. We should have been better prepared. We are partially to blame in this. But I know you, Bella. I know what you are made of and I know that you made a mistake that you will not let happen again. Please, darlin', trust me on this."

"Thank you for believing in me, Jasper. I won't forget it."

"Anytime." We continued on in silence for a few moments, each lost in our own thoughts.

"Jasper?"

"Hmm?"

She hesitated. I waited.

"Is there anything that even tastes close?" Her question was barely a whisper and once again I wished for her chocolate brown eyes. The desire for human blood was haunting her and in turn, haunting me. I closed my eyes and fought back the venom in my throat, stifling the monster within.

"I wish there was, darlin', but unfortunately nothing comes remotely close." We made the rest of the trip in silence.

When the garden came into view I stood back as Carlisle came out to greet us, his arms open in welcome to Bella. She paused for a moment and I heard a small gasp escape her lips as she moved quickly to him, burying her face in his chest. His arms encased her and he murmured words of understanding and love into her hair as her body shook with the tearless sobs she had held back so bravely during our return.

I felt Alice's loving arms wrap around me from behind as she pulled me close and snuggled into my arms. Taking her hand, we silently made our way to the house, leaving Bella with our father.

"Where is Edward?" I asked softly as soon as I knew we were out of their earshot.

"Emmett took him hunting. They left just after he read your thoughts. Once he filled Carlisle in on the details of what happened, it was decided it would be best if only Carlisle and Esme were here when you returned. I was very surprised he went, but he blames himself for what happened."

"Typical Edward," I mumbled as I pressed my lips to my pixie's hair. "She will come back to him Alice, but he has a lot of changes to make. And I can guarantee you that if he tries to take the blame for what she did, he won't score any brownie points."

"I know. He and Carlisle argued about it just before he left, but there are some things he will just have to figure out on his own. I would like to say they have all the time in the world to resolve their issues, but unfortunately we still have the problem of Victoria on our hands."

"Have you seen something?" I tilted her face up to look at me.

"No, the visions are still flashes. But there are more faces now, Jazz. If anything, she's been killing more rapidly than before."

"Have you seen Newton?"

"No. At first I assumed that she ended up killing him and that his body just had not been discovered, but…"

"But what, Alice? What did you see?" I didn't mean to press her, but I was as confused by her emotions as I was by her hesitancy to tell me.

"Victoria has changed. I can still sense her vengeance, but there is almost a new darkness to her – a new thrill of the kill that I can't pinpoint. Ugh!!!" She pressed her hands against her head and dropped into the closest chair. "I've never been as frustrated with my gift as I have been these past few weeks! Between Edward changing his mind so frequently, Bella's change, the wolves and now this! It's so frustrating!"

I pulled her close and kissed the top of her head as she buried her face into my neck and I sent all the love I could to ease her mind. "Don't worry, darlin', we'll figure it out. It will all work out."

I could only hope that I was right.

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_**(Edward's POV)**_

I'm not sure how long Alice and I sat in the garden in silence before I felt her stiffen beside me as a vision took hold. Her gasp of despair was echoed by me immediately as I saw the living nightmare she had just envisioned.

"_**Noooo**_!" I screamed and moved for the trees but Alice held me tightly in her grasp, begging me to let Jasper handle it. I stood still as a stone, replaying the vision of Bella taking a human life in my mind, over and over again. It was my fault. If I hadn't pushed her, hadn't come back, this would not have happened. Yet again, my mistakes, my errors in judgement were causing my beloved pain.

I collapsed against the stone wall encircling the garden and held my head in my hands, cursing myself once again for all the wrong choices I had made since Bella came into my life. If only I had stayed in Alaska with the Denalis, she would have eventually moved on and never had to face all this pain.

I looked up to find my father approaching me slowly, having heard from Alice what had most likely already happened. As Carlisle made his way towards me, I heard Jasper's thoughts clearly speaking to me. I closed my eyes and listened as he voiced his request and let me know in detail what had transpired. Carlisle watched me silently for a moment, understanding without a word what was happening.

I stood and he placed his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it affectionately. "This was not your fault, Edward."

I stared at him in disbelief, wondering how he could believe that to be true. "Carlisle, everything that has happened in Bella's life since her move to Forks is my fault and mine alone. I should never have come back from Alaska – if I hadn't she would…"

"Edward! Enough!" I stared in shock at Carlisle as he grasped my shoulders tightly, his words louder and laced with more frustration than I had ever heard in the time I had known him. "I will not allow this to go on any longer! Do you know where Bella would be if you hadn't come back? The Forks cemetery! You saved her life that day in the parking lot – and I am quite positive that if that situation had not happened – another one would have."

"She was in the parking lot because of me…" I began to argue, but stopped as Carlisle's eyes blackened in anger.

"Edward. We can not change what has happened. _I_ would not change what has happened! For almost a century I watched you suffer in silence. I know what it did to you to be the only one of us who did not have a mate and it tortured me to see you alone!"

"It doesn't matter, Carlisle, it wasn't worth taking her life! Her soul!" I regretted the words the moment I spit them out. Turning away, I moved towards a stone bench and slumped onto it, dropping my head in my hands. He didn't speak, he didn't have to. His thoughts spoke clearly enough as Bella's face flashed in my eyes over and over again. This time however it wasn't images of the pain I had inflicted, but flashes of the happy times we had enjoyed together. I wasn't sure which hurt more.

"Edward." Carlisle's tone had resumed its natural calm. "I hope in time you will find it in your heart to forgive me for what I did and understand why I made the choice. But you won't be able to forgive anyone or regain Bella's trust until you've forgiven yourself and let go of the past."

"Carlisle, blood is now on her hands because of me! I caused this! How can I ever ask her forgiveness for that? For Charlie? For leaving her?"

"Time, Edward. Please just give it some time and be patient." Carlisle turned as Emmett approached. "I want you to go hunting with Emmett. Bella will be upset when she returns and I think it would be best if Esme and I spent some time with her before she has to face everyone."

The last thing I wanted was to hunt. I needed to see Bella and make sure she was alright. I needed to apologize and try to make things right. "Carlisle, I want…"

"Edward! This is not about what you want! This is about what Bella needs!" Once again his hands were on my shoulders and I felt the impatience in his grip, a feeling I had never known from Carlisle before. "Just listen to me for once! You need to give her time to process everything. Has she not been through enough today?"

I lowered my head in shame. Part of me wanted to ask when he became the authority on what Bella needed, but I knew it was only fuelled by jealousy on my part. Carlisle was right – had always been right. "We'll be back in a few days" I responded quietly.

_Everything will work out, Edward. Trust me. _I nodded without looking back at him and followed Emmett as he headed in the opposite direction of where Bella and Jasper were sure to approach from at any moment. I longed to wait, to hide in the bushes just to see her once to make sure she was alright, but I knew it was impossible. Emmett had a firm grip on my shoulders, a brotherly headlock, and I knew it was to guarantee that we were far away before they made it back.

"C'mon, bro. The sooner we get going – the sooner we can come back." Emmett hugged a little tighter for only a moment and then let me go. He took off running only to look behind to see me following slowly. "Whaddya doin'? You're runnin' like an old man! By the time we get where we're going the grizzlies will be hibernating again! Move your ass, Eddie!"

Knowing the use of that name would tick me off, he took off running again and I picked up the pace. There was no sense trying to fight it and he was right…the sooner we were gone, the sooner we would return.

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_**End of Chapter - I know, I know....but I promise he won't be gone for long!!! Reviews might bring him back faster!!**_


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N - Short and sweet as I want to get this posted. Thanks to all who have stuck with the story so far...your feedback is intoxicating!! You all have realized by now that I am horrible at responding but I read each and every one - all feedback is truly appreciated!!**

**changedbyEdward is my fabulous beta and even though I can be a giant pain in her butt I am so glad she sticks with me and makes everything flow - bb, you are the best! MWAH!**

**Stephenie Meyer created the Twilight world and I am hopelessly and happily lost in it....NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED!!**

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**(Bella's POV)**

I sat in horror at my dressing table, staring at the mirror for what I am sure was hours. The crimson orbs that stared back at me were the eyes of nightmares that had followed me from the moment Victoria, James and Laurent came into our lives. But these eyes were not from any nightmare; they were from my own reflection. I had awoken to my new life with these eyes. At that point they had been still innocuous, but no longer.

The scarlet reflection before me was that of a murderer. No matter how I conducted myself from this point on as an immortal, even once my eyes became the golden orbs of my beloved family, they would never be innocent again. I would eternally see the blood of the man I had killed in my eyes.

Sighing, I buried my head into my arms to stop myself from staring into the eyes of the assassin I had become. I was ashamed. Mortified not only by my actions, but how I had conducted myself on a whole since I had become a vampire.

When the memories of Edward flooded my thoughts, I reacted irrationally. Carlisle had been so patient with me, answering any of the questions I had asked – never hesitating, only asking me to not allow the monster within to take control. Yet the moment that I truly remembered everything, I lost all control. I didn't want to be that monster, yet I still didn't know if it was something I would ever fully have power over.

Edward. The one person I had hoped would be here waiting for me was nowhere to be found. But what could I expect? I had treated him like a leper, like the savage monster he had always tried to convince me he was. Why would he be waiting for me? I had shunned him and then committed the most heinous crime – no wonder he ran.

Carlisle and Esme, on the other hand, had been here waiting for me, welcoming me back with open arms. Even though I had committed the ultimate sin in their minds, they had forgiven me without hesitancy. Carlisle's comforting words had been soothing yet bittersweet, as I knew in my heart that I had disappointed him greatly.

I remembered Edward once telling me of Carlisle's forgiving nature and how he had been treated very similarly. It was oddly comforting to know that I had not been the only one to disappoint Carlisle. If only Edward felt the same way…

I wandered my room aimlessly, lost as for what to do with myself, yet unwilling to take the first step and venture out to face the family. I knew that I was being foolish – that they would treat me as they always had, but deep down I didn't feel I was deserving of their company. Instead, I took inventory of the beautiful bedroom that Esme had decorated for me, running my hands along the few items that held memories of what now seemed a distant human past.

A light tap at my bedroom door pulled me out of my dark thoughts and I turned towards the sound. "Come in."

I couldn't help the small smile that found its way to my lips as Alice skipped into my room, carrying a large cardboard box in one hand as if it were a serving tray. She did a dizzy little spin, stopping in the middle of the room and placing it gently on the bed.

"Bella, I think it's time that we made this room yours, don't you agree?" Not waiting for an answer, she grinned mischievously as she opened the flaps. I stood watching her and she pouted, motioning for me to take a look at the contents.

Sighing theatrically, I moved towards the bed only to gasp in delight at what the box contained. Reaching in, I pulled out a picture frame that I recognized from the mantle of my Dad's living room in Forks. It contained the photo that Edward had taken of Charlie and me. Although I could see the worry in my eyes, the twinkle in Charlie's brought a pressure to my chest and I fought back tearless sobs as I stared at the man who I had cherished as a father in my previous life.

"He was a great man, Bella and he loved you so much." Alice's hand clenched mine as I set the photo on the nightstand by my bed. "I didn't mean to make you sad."

"No, Alice, this is wonderful – thank you."

"Well, there's a lot more in there so get to it!" She watched as I pulled various items out of the box and placed them around my room-the cactus that I had brought from Arizona – how it had survived so long I would never know, a seashell from one of my trips to LaPush, a few of the books that Charlie hadn't brought to the hospital. I smiled at the photo album she had brought along that Renee had sent me for my 18th birthday. Most of the pages were bare but I was pleased to have it anyway, turning the pages slowly and stopping at the photo I had taken that September day of Jessica, Angela, Mike and Eric. I smiled, wondering what they were all doing now and then closed the book, only to find Alice staring at me pensively.

"What is that look for, Alice?"

"What? Nothing, Bella….just wondering what else is in the box."

"Well, didn't you pack it?"

"Yes, but it was awhile ago now and I can't remember everything I put into it."

I looked at her suspiciously. There was no way that she had forgotten, but obviously she didn't want to discuss it. As much as I wanted to continue questioning her, I let it go – eager to see what other treasures she had brought me.

I dug further in the box, finding a couple of Charlie's photo albums which I set aside immediately. I was relieved to see that she had brought them, but unwilling to go down that lane of memories yet. With only a few things left in the box, I pulled out the next item. It was a small dream catcher decorated with a silver wolf charm and some colored shells. I looked at Alice in confusion, not remembering it.

"Jacob Black asked me to give that to you. He hoped it would keep the nightmares away." I sensed her hesitancy in giving it to me and noticed a slight wrinkle of her nose.

"What, Alice?" I knew she wanted to say something.

"Bella, are you really going to keep it in here?" I looked at her inquisitively and then took in a breath.

"Ugh." I dropped it back in the box and looked at her in disgust. "What is that stench? It smells like wet…dog?"

Alice fought back a chuckle. "Well he is a werewolf, Bella."

I looked down at the dream catcher and fought to remember the boy I had called a friend. He had been so good to me…so kind when I first arrived in Forks and on the visits he made up to Charlie's with his dad. I remembered our walk on the beach at LaPush when he had unknowingly broken the treaty in telling me about "the cold ones." Sighing, I picked up the dream catcher and took it over to the farthest window in the room, hanging it in front of the open window. "Maybe the breeze will freshen it up some."

Alice rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. I stood watching the sun glint off of the silver wolf for a few moments before turning back to her. "I won't be able to see him again, will I?"

"I can't tell you, Bella. Unfortunately, the wolves appear to have some capability of blocking my visions. I would be inclined to say no, just because Carlisle has already broken the treaty by changing you, but I really don't know for sure." She motioned towards the box. "Bella, there are a couple more things you need to see in there."

I stepped back towards the bed and peered into the box, my unbeating heart once again seizing in my chest. It couldn't be. My hands shook as I reached in and pulled the small packet from the box. _"Show me the love"_ whispered in my head as I stared at the photograph Alice had taken that night, so long ago. I set it gently on the bed, tearing my eyes away from the beautiful bronze-haired boy that had stolen my heart and soul. A quick glance at the envelope revealed the plane tickets Carlisle and Esme had surprised me with, and a few more of the photographs that had been missing from my room after that fateful day. I inhaled a breath as I found my most prized possession at the bottom of the packet. My CD. The one he had made for me of all my favourite classical pieces, and most importantly my lullaby. I stared at the disk in wonder, finally looking up at Alice.

"How?"

"Bella, they were there all along. He didn't take them from you."

I dropped onto the bed, clutching the CD to my chest and picking up the photograph to once again lose myself in the memory of what we had lost.

"I don't understand, Alice."

"No, I know you don't. He still loves you, Bella…he never stopped. I shouldn't say anymore but please, please just give him a chance to explain."

"It's too late, Alice. I said horrible things to him…I was so angry and upset. And now…he couldn't even stay to face me. I'm tainted Alice. I am sure he is disgusted with what I have done."

"Bella! He only left because Carlisle asked him to!" Alice grasped my shoulders and turned me to face her. "I swear that the two of you will just continue to dance this avoidance waltz of guilt unless someone intervenes!" Her eyes sparked with frustration. "I can't say anything else, Bella. He needs to tell you for himself but please, just listen to him."

"Alice, I don't know what to say. But thank you so much for bringing me my things."

"You're welcome, Bella. Please think about what I have said." I felt a slight brush of her lips against my cheek and found myself once again alone. Sighing, I moved the box only to find my CD player and a package of fresh batteries sitting on the bed – the sneaky little pixie knew that I wouldn't be able to resist. Without hesitation, I grabbed everything and in moments lost myself to the melody that had never left me.

_**(Victoria's POV)**_

I stood, staring belligerently at the two newborns in front of me. They had just returned from a scouting trek and although the lack of information they brought back to me was by no means their fault, I fought the urge to snap both of their necks just to relieve some of my frustration. It was as if the Swan bitch had ceased to exist! I had been sure that there would have been some sighting of her after her father's unfortunate 'accident' – _it is truly ridiculous how these humans will come up with such bizarre dramatics to cover up even the slightest thing paranormal._ But nothing. Either the wolves or the Cullens were hiding her, of this I was sure….but where?

With a flick of my wrist the two fledglings vanished, unwilling to wait and see if I changed my mind about letting them continue to walk the earth. Aggravated, I stalked towards the back of the warehouse where I had created a refuge from the newborns and dropped onto the couch, letting my head rest against the cushions. I glanced around the room, relaxing as I took in the various pieces of furniture and décor. It was the closest thing I had to a home in a long time and I had to admit it was nice to be able to shut everyone out and be able to relax in comfort and think.

Michael had a lot to do with the nest. He truly was a bit of a snob, breaking into the most expensive furniture and clothing stores and taking whatever he wanted. I realized it was only one of the many things that fascinated me about him. He was so different from any other man that I had allowed close to me – a thought which thrilled, yet terrified me at the same time.

As if he could read my thoughts, he sauntered into the room, flashing his razor-sharp grin at me as he dropped onto the couch beside me. In a flash I was straddled across him, my arms held behind my back as he kissed and bit at my neck greedily. My lips found his and I sucked at his tongue, the flavour of his latest conquest still fragrant in his mouth.

Pulling away, I swatted at him and he chuckled. "That's a very young vintage of Italian claret, Michael."

He rolled his eyes at me and ran his hands up the back of my shirt, pulling me close as he nuzzled his face into my neck. "I can't help it if I'm drawn to the younger ones, Vic…they're so…spicy." His teeth bit into my neck and I growled in response, the juices immediately pooling in my core at his slightest touch. He chuckled again as he pushed his hips up against me and I felt his stiff erection pulse against me through his jeans. His hands moved under my shirt and cupped my breasts as he continued his assault on my neck.

"Now, what has you so riled up? The troops are hiding in the corners out there, terrified of the red-headed witch!" He laughed as I pushed away from him and stomped towards the door. In a flash he had me pinned to it and although I was irritated, I allowed him to continue his assault on my senses as he restrained my arms above my head and ravaged my neck in earnest.

I soon found myself writhing against him, our clothes, shredded and in a pile at our feet. With each thrust, he pushed himself deeper and deeper inside of me, never losing the grip on my arms. I wrapped my legs around his hips, tightening the vice grip I had on him and he snarled in response, moving us from the door to the couch in a flash. My back pressed against the couch, I stared into his ebony eyes as he plunged deeper and deeper, his grunting reminding me of a buck in rutt. His strength and virility as a newborn were overwhelming and I revelled in the act of being taken, knowing that when he was like this, there was no way I could fight him, not that I would even want to.

I felt the tension from before drift away as I lost myself in the rhythm he set for us and just allowed myself to enjoy the sensation of us becoming one. Sated for the moment, we lay together, his head nestled against my chest. He was quiet for some time and I allowed myself to drift on the cloud he had created. This was what terrified me. Never had anyone had the ability to make me feel so desired and wanted. I had never allowed anyone close enough for more than a quick fuck – not even James. But Michael? Somehow he broke through and had me wrapped up in feelings I didn't even know existed. I couldn't allow myself to be so human, so fragile.

Pushing away from him, I looked at my clothes in disgust and grabbed something new to wear from the duffel bag by the couch. He cocked his head and watched me dress, a look of amusement on his face.

"What?!" I asked irritably.

"You know I'm just gonna rip those off you later – I prefer my redheaded vixen naked and writhing beneath me."

I threw a pair of jeans at him. "Don't even think about it, Michael. I haven't got time to be searching for a new wardrobe. I have more important things at hand."

"Alright, spill it. What's going on?"

"Nothing! That is what's going on. I have a small army of newborns sitting around a warehouse, picking fights with one another because we can't find one measly human!"

"Still no sign of Bella?"

I glanced at him quickly as her name slid off his tongue. I hated him referring to her by name. I knew that he had had feelings for her when he was human and the thought of him even touching her brought the venom to my throat in an instant.

_**"DON'T SAY HER NAME TO ME!!!"**_ I screamed. A shimmer of irritation crossed his face and then he smiled.

"Okay, Vic. Come here." He grabbed my hand and pulled me back to the couch. "What do you want to do?"

I dropped my head against his shoulder. "I want to move on, but I can't – not until she is dead." Sighing, I played with the Forks High School ring that still adorned his finger. "I think we are going to have to lure her out, but I don't know how. If those fucking animal drinking vampire wannabes have her under their protection – they aren't going to just let her go."

"No. You're right about that. Even when she was dating Shithead Cullen – he never let her out of his sight."

"We just need to come up with the right bait." I looked up at him as he pulled his hand away and found him staring at his ring. "What?"

"I think I have an idea that might work." He continued to stare at his ring and a glimmer of hope grew in my chest as the evil grin I had grown to love came into view. "Yep, I know exactly what bait to use," he said as his mouth attacked mine and I lost myself once again in his arms.

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_**Reviews just might bring Chapter 25 more quickly......just sayin'!! Oh and case you aren't counting......83 DAYS until Eclipse!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!**_


	25. Chapter 25

_**A/N - Lots of speculation on who Mike was thinking of for bait...and it has to be an even split on who should kick his ass when it comes time LOL! Thanks for the wonderful feedback guys - lots coming up in the next few chaps!**_

_**Much love to changedbyEdward for her rockin' beta skills and for being such a great friend.**_

_**You all know it by now. I am just borrowing. Stephenie Meyer owns it all and by no means is there any copyright infringement intended!!**_

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_**Chapter 25**_

_**(Edward's POV)**_

As much as I had hated leaving, I knew Carlisle had been right in sending me away.

A smile toyed at my lips as I recalled how feisty Bella could get whenever I tried to take the blame for something or overstepped with my protectiveness. She was so fragile. Or at least she had been. Now she was anything but…

Venom pooled at the back of my throat as I attempted to quell the lustful thoughts I had been fighting almost since the moment I had laid eyes on her, but even more so since her change.

Even though she had considered herself average at best, I had always found her beautiful, but now she was absolutely exquisite. I chuckled at the thought because it had been the way Alice had described her form the first time she had seen her as one of us. _Never bet against Alice. _Closing my eyes, I drank in the warmth as her soft voice spoke to me from a different time.

I lay back on the stone slab and allowed myself to drift back to happier days. I had bottled and corked these memories the day I left Bella, knowing that if I allowed myself to remember I would never have been able to stay away.

It didn't matter anymore. Even if Bella never forgave me, I would walk by her side in the shadows for all eternity.

A rustle from the bushes behind me brought me out of my reverie and I grinned at Emmett as he dropped onto the rock beside me. Grinning back, he punched me in the arm, and then stretched out, leaning back against his arms. Rainbows of color ricocheted off his face as the sun's rays poured down on us.

Once again, I turned back time. _It's like diamonds. You're beautiful._ Her voice was a gentle whisper against my skin, a faint melody haunting my memory.

A cuff to the back of my head brought me back to reality once again. "What was that for?"

"What was that for? Really, Ed – I fucking well feel like Jasper over here – the emotion coming off of you is too much!"

"I didn't ask you to come with me, Emmett."

"No, but ya might have curled up in a ball in the middle of the forest if I hadn't!" Emmett stared at me intently and then softened his tone. "Ed, bro, ya gotta relax. She loves you. You have to be an idiot not to see it. But she's hurt. You really hurt her when you left, plus everything with her dad's death. Cut her some slack!"

"I know."

"What? Don't tell me the mighty Edward is actually admitting that someone else might be right about something."

I rolled my eyes and shoved him hard, knowing I was only provoking the beast within. Fifteen minutes later, our clothes filthy and torn, we sat together on the rock laughing, unsure of who had actually won the brawl, but each of us claiming victory. It felt good to be amongst family again, even though everything was still pretty well a mess. I had missed Emmett's light heartedness and ability to laugh even when things were bleak.

When our laughter and insults had finally died down, I settled back against the rock, allowing the sun to soothe and warm me. Emmett was quiet for a bit and was doing his best to keep me out of his head, although I knew he was arguing with himself about how he should proceed.

"Em…just say what you want to say. Get it off your chest."

"It's nothing really. Just wondering what Victoria is trying to accomplish. It's weird, man…I mean I get what she was trying to do with Charlie, but what about those two girls and Newton?"

"I don't know, although I am thinking she is out to make Bella suffer in any way she can. I can't believe that Newton is a newborn, but Alice seems to be convinced. I keep thinking his body is going to turn up somewhere."

"She's not wrong very often, Ed." _And she was right all along about Bella._ I grimaced at his thought. "Sorry bro."

"No, you're right. Everything I have done where Bella is concerned was a mistake. But I can't change what's happened."

"No, but you can make it right now. You are going to have to be patient and it is gonna have to be on Baby Bell's terms, but you can fix this." The look on my face must have told him I needed more convincing. "Listen, we are gonna do a bit more hunting and then we are gonna head for home. I can't take your pansy-assed moods any longer. Once we get home, you two are gonna have to talk to each other and for fuck sake, Edward – don't just talk, but listen, too."

With that, Emmett was back on his feet. "C'mon…I thought I caught a whiff of a mountain lion when I was messin' with that last grizzly. I just might let ya have it, but you have to beat me to it, first!"

I watched my brother's lumbering frame head off for the forest, knowing that even with the head start, there was no way he would beat me. I stood and stretched, staring out over the landscape below – my whole mindset lighter than it had been. Emmett was right, Bella and I needed to talk and hopefully, even if we couldn't be together, we would be able to salvage a friendship out of the mess I had created. I laughed as I heard the low roar of a grizzly amongst the trees followed by a loud crash and took off after my brother, the lure of the mountain lion calling to me as I ran.

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_**(Mike POV)**_

I sat far up in the tree, as close to the house as I dared and watched as she brushed her long dark hair. She seemed to be deep in thought and I could hear her humming to herself as she passed the brush through, stroke after stroke. Her scent floated from the window, faint by the time it got to me but I still caught the hint of cinnamon and honey.

Venom lightly pooled in my mouth, but I resisted, thankful that I had drunk more than my fill before venturing this close. We needed her and we needed her alive, at least until we put the plan in motion. Victoria had wanted to come with me, unsure of my ability to bring the girl in without sampling the merchandise. She had so little faith in me, but I was pleased she was unaware of how strong I really was or how much I could resist.

Victoria was exciting and she made time pass a little easier, but as far as I was concerned, she was a means to an end. Once we started this, there would be no going back and I would be that much closer to having my desires fulfilled. Bella. I thought that I had wanted her before, but since my immortal life had begun, she had become an obsession, her chocolate eyes and red lips an ever lingering presence in my mind. I had to watch myself around Victoria constantly, her hatred of Bella so strong that I couldn't even utter the name in her presence. Little did she know that the majority of the time that I was fucking her, Bella was who I was imagining in her place.

I chided myself for the harsh realization that Victoria meant nothing more to me than a passing fling. But there was no denying what was meant to be. I had lost my heart to Bella Swan the first day she stepped foot into Forks High and there was no letting go now. Only one thing stood in my way. Fucking Cullen. But he wasn't a worry to me anymore. I knew my strengths and I knew his weakness. Not to mention the 15 – 20 newborns backing me or the wrath of Victoria.

Movement in the bedroom brought me back to the task at hand as I watched her grab her knapsack and jean jacket. Morning sounds echoed through the trees as the family ate breakfast together and discussed their schedules for the day. Time passed quickly and I watched as each person took their leave, my conquest the last one out the door as she made her way down the lane to wait for the bus that would be by in a few minutes.

I dropped to the ground soundlessly and made my way through the trees, I needed to get close, but not too close. I glanced down at my ripped clothing, Victoria had taken great pleasure in helping with the ruse, and grabbed some dirt to rub against my face and hands.

I could see her. There was no sound of the bus yet so time was on my side.

"Help!! Someone, please help me!!" I slumped against the tree and waited, watching her as shock then recognition crossed her face. I moaned slightly and let my head fall back. "Help me, please."

"Mike!!! Oh my goodness, Mike is that you??" I heard the sweet innocent voice of Angela Weber as she dropped her knapsack to the ground and ran towards me, terrified yet thrilled to see me in one piece.

"Ang, is that you? Oh God, Ang, please can you help me?" I moaned again and attempted to stand, grimacing with pain, squinting my eyes closed.

"Mike, oh my God! We thought you were dead!" I felt her hands reach for me and I grabbed at her wrist, careful not to crush it. Her scent enveloped me and I fought for control, the pull of how delicious she would taste battling hard to take over the importance of using her as bait. Chocolate brown eyes flashed in my mind and I corralled the monster.

"Ang, I knew I could count on you," I smiled as I pulled her close, clamping my hand over her mouth. The look of fear for my condition quickly turned to fear for her own life as she stared into my face, her eyes registering the colour of my eyes as they stared down at her. I watched as her own eyes welled with tears under the glasses she wore and I shook my head at her lightly.

"No, Ang….none of that. I'm not gonna hurt you, but I need you to come with me." I tightened my grip on her a bit as she fought against me and she quieted immediately, already sensing that she stood no chance against my strength. "Now, do I need to do anything drastic or will you do as I say?" I watched as she fought through the emotions and gave me a slight nod. "I'm gonna trust you to behave yourself, Angela. Don't make me regret my decision."

With that, I swung her onto my back and she instinctually wrapped her arms around my neck as I held her legs to my sides. I took off through the trees, ignoring the tears that were now flowing freely down my back. It meant nothing to me. We may have been friends in a previous life, but she was now nothing more than a pawn. A pawn that I would have to protect until we could put our plan in motion. That being the case, I had asked Victoria to find a place for us to keep Angela, knowing that a human stood little chance of surviving at the warehouse, whether we forbade it or not.

I slowed my pace as we approached the rendezvous where Victoria was meeting us. The flow of tears had stopped and I felt Angela's warm breath against my neck. She had either fallen asleep, exhausted, or passed out from the trauma. I stopped and dropped her to the ground, turning to find her dark eyes, swollen from her tears, staring at me.

"What happened to you?" Her voice was soft, a gentle whisper. I thought about answering, but didn't get the chance, Victoria arriving at that moment. She stalked towards Angela and grabbed her by the hair, moving her head roughly to make sure there were no bite marks on either side of her neck. Satisfied, she let go, but added a little shove so that Angela's head snapped against the tree trunk.

Angela gasped and moaned at the action, but shut up quickly as I motioned for her to be quiet. The girl had always been smart and she seemed to realize that Victoria was not someone to mess with.

Victoria moved towards me, her eyes grazing over my body and I could smell her desire in the air. Reaching for me, she pulled me into a fiery kiss and then released me. Positioning herself behind me, she rested her chin on my shoulder and wrapped her arms around me from behind, her nails raking over my chest. "So," she purred, "I see you were successful in securing a snack for us."

Angela's eyes grew wide in terror and I felt Victoria shake with silent laughter against my back. Torment and terror were a game of pleasure to her and I knew that she would amuse herself to no end at Angela's expense before we were able to put things in motion.

I cocked my eyebrow at Angela, silently conveying a message for her to not try and escape, then pulled Victoria around to face me. Burying my face against her neck, I bit and got the reaction I wanted as she moaned against me. "Now Vic, don't be threatening our guest."

I pulled away and grabbed a fist of her hair in my hand. "Why don't you lead the way to where Angela will be staying? I don't know about you, but I can think of better ways to spend the day than hanging out with a happy meal." I pulled her to me and kissed her fiercely, my tongue forcing its way through her lips to join hers.

Victoria tilted her head back and laughed, a deep guttural laugh that I knew only too well and she pushed me away, taking off running into the forest. In a flash I had Angela on my back again and we raced off to follow. I could feel her heart beating against my back and I fought against the thirst, tightening my grip as I darted through the trees, the stream of scorching red hair my guide. I sensed Ang's terror, but felt no urge to console her – she was but a pawn in the game, nothing more. I wouldn't drink from her and I would be sure that she was kept alive, but not for her….only for Bella. Bella was all that mattered.

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_**End of chapter - Ch 26 & 27 are already done and with my lovely beta. Reviews just might get them posted more quickly!!! :) **_


	26. Chapter 26

_**A/N - Hi everyone!!! Hope it hasn't been too long a wait....RL set in around here but things have settle down a bit!! Thank you all for not stoning me over poor Angela's abduction! Have really enjoyed the feedback and suggestions of what might happen next! LOL**_

_**changedforEdward and Lolarose.....you girls rock my world! Thanks for everything.....MWAH!!!**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight World and I am hopelessly lost in it!!! No Copyright Infringement intended!!**_

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_**(Bella's POV)**_

"Alice!"

"Bella, don't even bother trying to argue with me!"

I huffed in frustration and thought about stomping my foot to make my point, but feared the wrath of Esme should I stomp too hard and make a hole right through the floor. Sighing, I sat back in the chair and allowed the pixie on speed the opportunity to continue her Barbie Bella makeover.

I glanced at Rosalie as she thumbed her way through Alice's latest fashion rag. Sensing she was being watched, she sighed loudly and looked at me. "What?!"

"Nothing. Just trying to figure out why you aren't being poked and prodded at as well?"

A smug look of satisfaction overtook Rose's perfect visage. "C'mon, Bella, after almost a century together, don't you think Alice deserves a new doll to play with?" She cackled as a hairbrush came whipping at her head, dodging it as if it were nothing more than a pesky mosquito. She grinned in triumph as Alice stuck her tongue out and I gave in.

Several hours, a manicure, pedicure and three outfit changes later, Alice finally spun the chair I had melted into so that I could see my reflection in the mirror.

I sat there in shock, unsure whether or not the reflection in the mirror was really my own. My hair was curled and pulled lightly into an antique barrette, tendrils whisping here and there framing my face, while still allowing the full length to tumble down my back in thick waves.

My make-up was subtle, yet defining and it amazed me how my eyes almost appeared violet in colour, most likely a combination of the colors Alice had chosen for my cosmetics and clothing. It was such a relief to have a break from the reminder of what I had done.

I had won one battle – pleading to be allowed to remain in jeans, but I had forfeited my sneakers. My designer denims fit like a second layer of skin and the evil one had put me in a pair of black leather biker boots with what she called a modest heel, but I still considered stilts.

On top I wore a tight fitting tank, navy in color, covered by a midnight blue silk blouse that barely covered the tank but shimmered in the light. Skin peeked out from where the tank barely met the waist of my jeans and Alice slapped at my hands when I fidgeted to pull it down and tuck it in.

I moved to put my cross back on, but again Alice intervened, telling me to hold the thought for a moment. With a small rap at the door, Carlisle and Esme entered. I smiled into the mirror as Esme squeezed my hand and Carlisle kissed me gently on the top of my head.

"You look lovely, Bella." Esme squeezed my hand again.

"And I am glad to see that you survived Alice's torture." Carlisle chuckled as he hugged Alice. "Bella, we have something for you."

I looked at them to argue as Carlisle handed me a long velvet box. "Really, you've done so much already," I began, but Carlisle raised his hand to silence me.

"Nonsense. I have to admit that Esme and I have been holding onto this for quite awhile, but now just seems the right time for you to have it."

I smiled at them both, knowing there was no sense trying to argue. There was no winning an argument against a Cullen – it just didn't happen. I slowly lifted the lid and felt a choke in my throat as I took in the contents.

A fine platinum chain lay against navy satin – the chain itself was exquisite in detail but what it held was the true gift.

"May I?" Carlisle asked quietly and I nodded dumbly; no words could convey the emotions I was feeling as Esme gently lifted my hair and Carlisle fastened the clasp of the chain around my neck. I stared in wonder at the reflection of the Cullen Crest resting on my chest and my two adopted parents behind me.

"Welcome, Isabella, our newest daughter."

I stood quickly, pulling them both into hugs, being careful not to squeeze too tight. "Thank you. Thank you both so much. I can't believe you feel that I still deserve this after what I did, but I promise to spend the rest of my existence making up for it."

"Nonsense, Bella. You have no need – we understand what happened. Just know that you are and always will be a part of this family. No matter what happens." With another quick hug they left the room, my fashion guru hot on their heels. I sighed and stared into the mirror, still trying to wrap my head around the reflection looking back at me.

Lost in my own thoughts, I jumped when Rose spoke again. "They mean what they say, you know." I turned the chair to face Rosalie. "They had your crest made for you shortly after everything happened with James, but they wanted the right time to give it to you." She paused. "I know what you're thinking, Bella, and you're wrong. You mean the world to them. You are just as much a part of this family as any of us. We have all made mistakes."

I started to argue, but didn't get the chance.

"You need to forgive yourself, Bella. You will never forget, but you have to accept that what has happened cannot change and move on." She slid off her stool and primped her already perfect hair.

"Now…my mountain man is on his way back to me so I am going to head out and meet them. In case you hadn't noticed the house has gone fairly quiet, so it is now up to you, little sister. Do I tell him to come to you or shall I ship his sorry ass back to the hotel he has been staying in?"

I looked down at my outfit and everything clicked into place – Alice had known all along that Edward was on his way back. I looked up at Rose and caught the smirk as she realized I had put two and two together.

"You know, I should not go ahead with this just to teach Alice a lesson." Rose smirked again.

"But you're not going to, are you?" Her eyebrow rose as she took in my expression. "I didn't think so. Bella, I'm not going to tell you what to do – I have no idea how you put up with his insufferable attitude to begin with. But you love him. My God, you were willing to give up humanity for him. So I don't care what you do, how long you make him grovel, or even if you want to shove him around a bit, but for pity sake, do something! You two have been miserable for long enough." She moved towards the door and gave me a wink. "Try not to destroy the place while we're gone!"

I watched the door close behind her and leaned back in the chair, trying to calm myself as I organized my thoughts. Edward. He was on his way here. To me. I had no idea what to say or what to do, but I knew Rose was right. We had been miserable for long enough.

* * *

_**(Edward's POV)**_

I stood quietly at the edge of the garden, unsure of what was to come, but so grateful just to have not been turned away. I had been so sure when Rosalie had come out to meet us that I was once again being banished to the hotel. Her evil smirk told me she had surmised as much, and I was astounded when she simply grabbed Emmett's hand and pulled him off to follow her far into the forest. But she wasn't quiet about it. I took her warnings to heart as she threatened my existence if I did not treat Bella well.

The house was eerily silent. It seemed that the rest of the family had decided to head out as well, knowing that Bella and I needed privacy if we were going to make any headway at all. I wandered closer to the house, carefully watching for any sign of my beloved, but she was nowhere to be found.

I climbed the steps and opened the terrace door, quietly letting myself into the house. I felt like a thief in the night, even though I knew it was ridiculous to think that way. I made my way out to the hall and looked up to the second floor. I knew she was up there. I could smell her sweet aroma from where I stood and wondered if she sensed my presence as well. If she did, there was no acknowledging sound and I would not push her. The first move had to be Bella's.

I wandered the downstairs for awhile, but finally was drawn back to the great room. I stood at the doorway and stared across the room at the white elephant that stood in the middle of the floor. Perhaps it was what was needed. I allowed the pull to take over and made my way to my treasure, the one I hadn't touched since our exile. I chuckled at the fact that Esme had left it covered, knowing she figured it would be a great theatrical display for me to rip off the sheet and drop to the bench, burying my head against the piano as I ran through a symphony. I hoped I hadn't disappointed her by simply sitting and tenderly running my fingers over the ivory.

"Will you play for me?" Her voice was a gentle whisper across the room and I forced myself to not look her way, afraid that if I did she would vanish. I nodded and stared at the keys for a moment, my digits lightly fingering the notes before I began. There was only one melody I could play for her at that moment. Only one that mattered and I prayed that it would be enough to ask for a chance to win back her heart. I closed my eyes and dropped my head down to lose myself against the sound. The haunting notes of her lullaby echoed through the room and I hoped it gave her some solace, some comfort after all that had transpired.

I played the melody through a second and third time, never allowing myself to look, but knowing that she felt the same magnetic pull and moved closer to me with each note that played. As I reached the end of the piece, I felt her beside me, my beautiful Bella there with me at last. We sat there in silence for a moment and I wondered if I should play more or speak. The tension between us was indescribable and I ached to simply pull her into my arms and never let her go, but instead we simply sat. Sharing the piano bench. Sharing the room. Sharing the silence.

I toyed with the keys, the urge to play again to fill the void of the deafening silence almost overpowering me until I saw her hand move up to cover mine on the keyboard. Her porcelain fingers brushed against the back of my hand and the electricity almost knocked me to the floor. I breathed in quickly, wanting to lose myself in her scent, and then felt her fingers intertwine with mine.

"Edward." My name on her lips was more magical than I thought possible and when I finally brought my head up to look at her, I lost myself in the vision. An ethereal angel sat in my midst.

"Bella." I breathed her name out and stared into her eyes, begging for a sign of what I could say, what I could do to make everything alright between us. The tentative smile that met my look was more reward than I could have hoped for and I lightly squeezed her hand in response.

"I need to apologize, Bella…I need," I began.

She gently shook her head, turning to face me on the bench. At that moment, I was stunned into silence. Her hand gently raised and she brought one finger to my lips, softly resting it there, her eyes searching my face, looking for what I wasn't sure.

"I know we have a lot to say to one another, Edward. We have so much baggage to clear away before we can even think of moving forward, but can I ask one thing?"

At that point she could have asked me for anything and I would have complied, only to be allowed to remain there with her forever, but I was afraid to say those words, to even fantasize that there could be a forever, so I simply nodded in response.

"Kiss me?" And all at once, my timid Bella from so long ago was there in front of me, her eyes full of want as she stared up into my face. Putting everything on the line, asking me to respond in kind. It was only the length of a heartbeat that I stared in wonder at the girl I had met before I saw her as she was now. A breathtaking, unbreakable woman asking me for something I no longer had to fear giving her.

Whatever we needed to sort through would wait. Nothing mattered more than giving Bella exactly what she asked for, what we both longed for. With more confidence than I truly felt, I cupped her face in my hands and stared only for a moment into the pools of burgundy that watched my every move and then, after so long apart our lips joined together as one. It felt old, yet new again as I brushed my lips against hers tentatively at first, but then with more conviction as all the feelings that had been compacted and pushed away surfaced, as if begging for air. Our mouths explored each other hungrily, full of want and need.

Bella's hands moved up my chest and into my hair, her fingers tangling themselves into the mess and I felt her pulling me closer until our bodies melted into one. The old urge of needing to reign in tried to work its way into my mind but I ignored it, biting her bottom lip to convince myself that I no longer needed to worry. Bella moaned in response and it was all the reinforcement I needed to continue my exploration of her mouth, her jaw and her chin.

Her body molded to mine as she turned quickly to straddle herself against me, her hands working their way into my shirt. The tinkling of its buttons falling gently to the floor as she pushed my shirt away from my skin were followed by a chuckle deep from her chest as her mouth moved down to explore my newly revealed chest. I leaned back as her tongue teased and explored while her hands explored my back. I was lost to her – whatever she wanted was hers.

The loud crack of wood snapping brought us to our senses, but not before we found ourselves entwined on the floor, splinters of the piano bench scattered beneath us. Bella lay on top of me, her face buried against my chest. Unsure what she was thinking, I gently ran my fingers up her back and into her long tresses. I felt her body begin to shake.

"Bella?" I asked worriedly.

She looked up at me instantly, a look of amusement on her face. "You are so telling Esme that it was your fault."

I stared at her in wonder for only a moment before pulling her close in a hug, my laughter echoing her own. "And why is it my fault? I believe you are the one who straddled me, love." I breathed in quickly, unsure how she would react to the endearment. It had rolled off my tongue so easily and I feared it had been too much too soon when there was still so much to say.

She stared at me only for a moment. "Stay with me?" The question dangled in the air, her eyes pleading with me to agree.

I nodded without hesitation and took the hand she offered to me, unsure if she meant for now or all eternity, but not caring either way.

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_**End of chapter - Hope the chapter was worth waiting for...I know some of you have been waiting for a VERY long time (since Ch 1 - LOL) for it - would love to hear your thoughts!!**_


	27. Chapter 27

_**A/N - So I was going to be mean and hold out and make y'all wait a week before an update, but just couldn't do it after all the wonderful reviews for the last chapter. Hope that this next part is what you were all waiting for!!! :)**_

**_Many thanks to my wonderful beta, changedbyEdward for being the best beta around!!_**

**_Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight and I am just borrowing!! No copyright infringement intended!! Oh and psst....psst...... LEMON ALERT :)_**

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_**(Bella's POV)**_

"Stay with me." The words were out of my mouth before I even had a chance to consider what they meant, what they would imply to him. Without hesitation, he nodded and placed his hand in mine.

I looked back quickly at the destruction we were leaving behind, but heard him chuckle. "Don't worry Bella, she'll forgive you." I pouted at him, but never let go of the hand that I clutched in mine, guiding him quickly from the room to the stairs. We climbed them together wordlessly, each lost in our thoughts.

I opened the door to my room and led him inside, closing out the world behind us. I stopped in the middle of the room and turned to him. "I just need a moment, will you wait for me?"

He smiled and nodded and I moved to the bathroom, closing myself into my own personal bubble. I wasn't sure how things had happened so quickly, but now I had him back in my bedroom and I was at a complete loss as to how I wanted to proceed.

Part of me longed to simply forget and move ahead, to let everything go and move forward with our eternity. The love was there – there was no denying the emotions and electricity that had flowed through us in the moments before we were so rudely interrupted. I knew in my heart that we would still be in each other's arms if that misfortune had not taken place.

But now that things had calmed, I knew that as wonderful as it would be to just let everything go; we had serious issues that needed to be rectified. If we let this happen, would we take the time to go back and resolve everything? If we didn't…if we just started from here without a clean slate, would it be ok or would it fester and end up destroying everything?

I slumped against the counter and stared into space. If my heart were still beating I knew it would be echoing through the room, but all I could hear was eerie silence. I leaned over the sink and turned on the water, just to break the monotony. The minutes ticked by.

"Bella?" His velvet voice sang to me and I hugged myself close. I had forgotten how easily I could lose myself in him. I had thought maybe that was something that would have been left behind with my previous life, but it was still there. Everything about him beckoned to me.

I found myself moving towards the door, yet unable to open it. I leaned against it and pressed my forehead against the wood, undecided.

I sensed his presence just on the other side, wondering deep down if he was having the same doubts as me.

"Bella?" His voice was still velvet, but I could hear the undertone of fear. "Bella, do you want me to leave? Please love, I will do anything you ask. Just tell me what you want."

I stood silent for a moment and moved my hand towards the knob. With those simple words he had answered one of my questions and given me the resolve to go on. I had been given a choice. I had been offered the option of whether he stayed or he went. It wasn't the resolution to all we needed to discuss, but it was a beginning and one I would gladly take to just to feel whole again.

I opened the door and stepped out only to find myself wrapped in his arms, his chin resting against the top of my head in an embrace that reminded me of the time we had lost. I pressed my lips to the exposed skin above his shirt, allowing my tongue to trace against his Adam's apple. I heard a small growl in response and giggled, looking up to see his eyes dark with desire. My hands moved to his hair, which I noticed immediately was damp and messy. He had showered and changed into lounge pants and a clean shirt while I had been hiding away in my own bathroom. His fresh scent was intoxicating and I felt a familiar heat between my legs as I allowed my hands to once again explore his chest, trailing down to the waist of his pants.

I glanced up to see him watching me, a look of want and excitement written all over his face, yet he didn't move. I ran a finger along his waist line, slowly working my hands underneath the material and pushing it up; my nose pressed against the skin I revealed as I traced a thin line up his chest with my tongue, almost coming undone between the smell and taste of him.

A hiss escaped from his mouth and I felt his arms encircle me as his mouth found mine, his kisses no longer cold to me, but now soft and tender and full of desire. Our tongues danced together as his fingers slid into my hair, pulling me into his fiery kiss. I heard a slight rip of material and saw my shirt and tank top fall to the floor, shredded to pieces.

The feel of my skin against his was a sensation that I had longed for and my arms slid around his neck as he lifted and carried me the few remaining steps to the bed.

Laying me back against the pillows, he lowered his body to mine, his lips devouring first my mouth, then my chin, my neck and finally placing a kiss just above where my crest lay against my chest. I pressed back into the pillows, my fingers lost in his mess of copper hair, urging him to continue. I felt the clasp of my bra come undone and gasped as his tongue found one nipple, his breath and tongue teasing at the hardened rosebud and then tracing over the hollow to lavish the other as well. I moaned as he teased me with small nips and felt myself pooling at my core. I writhed underneath him and felt the solid form of his arousal pressing against my hip.

Unable to contain myself, I bucked against him, flipping him to his back and straddling his body. He was startled by my newborn strength and I loved the feeling of being in control. He moved to grab my sides, but again I beat him, grabbing his hands and locking them against the pillows with mine.

His eyes were almost black as I bit at his neck, savouring the taste of him as I rubbed myself against him, his hardened cock pressing against the soaked interior of my jeans.

"Bella!" He gasped out my name as I moved against him with a quick rhythm. The scent of our arousal was hot in the air and I knew it wouldn't take much longer. I moved with vampire speed, ripping my jeans and lace panties with one move and his pants with another. His arms reached for me and pulled me back to his chest for an instant as I positioned myself over his erect manhood.

I gasped as the tip of his cock moved to find the entrance between my wet lips and moaned in delight as I allowed my body to completely sheathe his member. We were still for only a moment, staring into each other's eyes, enjoying the complete feeling of being joined. His hands gripped at my hips and I moved against the rhythm he set, his eyes never leaving mine as we rocked together.

His hands slid from my hips and up my stomach until he was cupping my breasts, squeezing and kneading against the motion. As the pace quickened his grip tightened and I moaned in pleasure as he pinched my nipples between his fingers, the pressure only adding to the ecstasy. I felt myself slipping over the edge of a precipice and leaned back against the bed as he raised his hips with a final thrust, our bodies coming together in a flurry of gasps and moans.

I dropped against him, my chest moulding to his and lost myself in the pleasure of having him hold me tightly against his frame, our bodies still joined as one. I sighed contentedly as he covered the top of my head with tiny kisses, his fingers tracing delicious designs against my skin. Even having just been together, I felt the electricity of his touch beckoning me to come again.

I pressed my lips against his shoulder, nipping at his skin. The taste of him was so sweet against my lips. I moved to break up our entanglement, but his hands gripped me to him.

"Not yet, love," he whispered. I nodded and nestled back against him, resting my head against his shoulder. I would stay like this forever if he asked me to.

* * *

_**(Edward's POV)**_

We lay in silence together, joined as one, our hands gently exploring each other's bodies as we basked in what had just passed. In my wildest hopes I had never dreamed when I returned to her tonight that I would find myself here in her bedroom, our love for each other finally consummated.

The moments right after I played her lullaby had been electric and fiery and we had lost ourselves as the animals within took over. I would never have been able to stop myself had the bench not collapsed and I dread to think how we would have reacted to the aftermath of that coupling.

Something changed between Bella and I between the time she asked me for a moment and her return to me. I had been glad to give her the time she requested, having returned to the house straight from three days hunting. I had really hoped to have the chance to freshen up before seeing her, but when I returned to her room moments later and saw that she had not yet come out, I feared for the worst.

She had time to analyze what had happened and was most likely chastising herself and becoming furious with me for our actions when we had so much left to discuss.

But then she returned to me and the minutes that had just passed were the most amazing of my life. Having lived as I had for the past century, always the loner on the outside looking in as the rest of my family had found the joys of having a mate to love and cherish, I knew that I was missing something indescribable. I had resigned myself to the fate I had been cast, even after meeting my Bella, knowing we would never be able to share everything, but I had been content with knowing her love and the closeness we did share.

The time spent apart had been horrifying. I thought of the words to a song that had played relentlessly in the late eighties by one of the many forgettable rock bands from that era. The words "It's better to have lost at love than to have never loved at all" had haunted me when I first heard it but tortured me after I left Bella. At my darkest moments, I wondered if it had really been better because the loss of her was too much to bear. And I now knew the toll it had taken on her.

I felt her gaze on me and I pulled myself from the darkness of the past to look at the glowing embers of the present that I held in my arms.

"What were you thinking about?" she whispered as her lips pressed themselves against my shoulder.

"How much time I wasted," I answered as I hugged her more tightly to me.

"It doesn't matter, Edward. All that matters is right here, right now." She stared up at me, her eyes so full of love that I was sure my heart would begin beating. "For tonight, I don't want to think about what could have been or what might have changed. I only want this." She kissed my neck. "And this." Her lips pressed against my chest above my heart. "And this," her voice whispered huskily as she rolled her hips against mine, our bodies still joined.

My reaction was instantaneous. I chuckled as I buried my face into her hair, my tongue teasing up her neckline until I found the earlobe I was looking for and pulled it into my mouth, sucking at it noisily as I tickled her ribs in the exact spot that I knew would make her laugh. Lost in the moment, she gasped as I flipped us on the bed, careful not to use enough force to put it through the floor.

"Now what are you going to do, love?" I growled as I pressed her hands against the pillows on either side of her head. She stared at me for a moment and again I envisioned her as the shy girl I had fallen for, her blush staining her cheeks furiously. I smiled at the memory, but cherished the woman that now lay beneath me, alabaster skin and dark eyes full of wanton desire.

Without shame she bucked her hips against me, urging me to pick up the pace. I kept her hands clasped beneath mine and lifted my body away, pulling myself from within her velvet grasp. Her lips pouted and she raised her hips, begging me to return.

Unable to resist, I plunged myself deep within her again, taking pleasure in the moans the movement elicited. My need for her was overwhelming and I knew that this time would not be as gentle as the first, as I moved in and out of her core, my cock even harder than before. Her body writhed beneath me as her nails gripped into my wrists, fighting for release. I released one only to have her drag her nails down my chest as she begged for more. I pulled her up to me into a sitting position, our bodies still joined, grinding against each other. Her lips found my neck and we convulsed together in a motion of climax as she bit hard against my skin, her razor-sharp teeth marking me as her own.

We collapsed against the bed, and I rolled away from her, pulling her against my side as I allowed myself to float away. She threw her arm over me and raised her head, resting her chin against my chest. I felt her tremble and looked down to find her laughing, her eyes staring at my neck in wonder.

"What are you laughing at you little minx?"

"I'm just wondering how you are going to hide that from Emmett. It's definitely going to leave a mark!" Her laughter grew louder by the minute and I stared at her in wonder – thanking God or whomever was responsible for giving her to me.

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_**End of chapter - that had to be worth a review, right???**_


	28. Chapter 28

_**A/N - Wow!!! Glad you all were happy with Edward and Bella's reunion - hope it was worth wait!! **_

_**My wondrous beta, changedbyEdward surprised me with the next chap this evening...beta'd and ready to go.....a round of applause for her puleeze!!! Big hugs and kisses bb!! **_

_**Ms. Stephenie Meyer is the proprietor of everything in the Twilight world. No copyright infringement intended!**_

* * *

**Chapter 28**

**_(Bella's POV)_**

I lay with my cheek pressed against his chest and watched the morning sun rise through my window. The moment was one of perfection as we lay together in contented silence, basking in the afterglow of everything that had happened.

Edward's fingers feathered against my back, tracing intricate, invisible patterns against my skin as he pressed his lips gently to the top of my head.

Somehow, some way, we had found our way back to each other. I knew that we still had some difficult moments ahead of us, but I also realized that neither of us would ever survive without the other. For the first time since that fateful day that he left me in the forest, I felt whole again. Although we hadn't yet spoken, the joyful sparkle in Edward's eyes made me want to believe that he felt very much the same way. I turned my head and pressed a gentle kiss on his chest. He sighed in response and hugged my body closer to his, burying his face in my hair.

I felt his lips continue to press gentle kisses against my scalp and I snuggled in even closer to his frame. It was amazing how our bodies melded against each other so perfectly and that his skin no longer felt cold to me. He sighed softly and I looked up into his face only to see a mask of frustration looking back at me. I didn't need to ask, I had heard them off in the distance making more noise than needed, most likely to warn us of their impending arrival.

"I guess we should think about getting dressed." I started to move away from him only to feel his arms tighten their embrace. "Edward?"

"Not yet. Please?" I looked up to find his golden orbs staring back at me, begging me not to leave him.

I smiled coyly and nestled back into his arms. "Okay, but remember, you're taking the blame for the piano bench." He chuckled as he continued his onslaught of tiny kisses, moving from the top of my head to the back of my ear. The tease of his breath on my lobe made me wish our family could disappear for awhile longer, but I knew that once Alice had made her decision to return – there was no stopping her.

"Bella, I hope that…," Edward hesitated briefly, "I hope that you don't regret what happened?" His voice was tender and timid, his velvet tones softly coating his question. I understood his trepidation as until last night, I certainly had not given him much reason to believe that our being a couple could still be a possibility.

"Edward." I pushed my frame up against his so that we were face to face. I paused to witness all of his insecurities about us flash across his stunning face. His eyes dipped down and I brought my hands up and gently cupped his cheeks, urging him to look at me. "We both have issues that we need to work through and I would be lying to you if I told you that I believed that everything was going to work out because I don't know what lies ahead for us. But what I do know, right now, is that you are my life. I love you. I never stopped loving you, even when I told you otherwise. I can't tell you where we go from here and I can't promise that everything will be perfect, but my heart? It's yours. It always has been and it always will be."

"Bella." His eyes glistened as he took my hands in his and gently pressed his lips to mine. Like so many times before, the connection was like an electric current travelling between us and I lost myself in him again. This kiss was so much more, though. Full of hope, love, remorse and longing. When it finally ended, I stared up at him only to see each of those emotions mirrored in his golden eyes. "I love you and I will do everything in my power to spend the rest of our existence proving that to you." He kissed me again lightly and then chuckled. "But now, we do need to get dressed."

I nodded and brought our clasped hands to my mouth, kissing his hand tenderly before I moved towards my closet. A low, seductive growl almost pulled me back, but I was anxious to dress before Alice had the opportunity to barge in and tell me what to wear. I yanked open the closet door and pressed my forehead against the wood, unsure whether to laugh or cry. There hanging in all its glory was a garment bag complete with a cheery note on Alice's personal stationary saying 'Wear this, Bella' signed with a happy face. Another garment bag, hanging just behind it held another fancy note with Edward's name on it.

I jumped as Edward's arms enveloped me from behind and he buried his face against my neck, smothering his snigger against my skin.

"I should just dress in something else to spite her, you know!" I glowered, yanking the garment bag from the closet.

"Bella, love, a wise woman once told me not to bet against Alice." He smirked again as he kissed my shoulder and grabbed his clothing bag from the hanger. "Trust me, it isn't worth the argument."

"Speak for yourself! She doesn't dress you in heels!" I steamed as I stalked off to the bathroom to freshen up and change. "_You've won this time Alice but don't think this is going to become status quo!" _I thought to myself as I kicked the door shut behind me.

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_**(Jasper's POV)**_

I watched in wonder as my beautiful wife flitted through the trees, dancing through the air like a world-stage ballerina as she made her way to the clearing where we had agreed to meet up with the rest of the family. Even with all the stress of not knowing what Victoria and Mike were up to and the cloudiness of her visions as far as the wolves were concerned, nothing could hamper the sheer joy that lit up her face.

Alice hadn't given any of us details other than that we all needed to head away from the house for the evening and that we did not need to worry about Bella. I had my doubts about this and tried to argue, but she had giggled and put her fingers to my lips, telling me that I should know better than to argue with her. And she was right. If she truly felt Bella would be safe, I had no reason to doubt her.

I sat back on the ground; my back leaned up against an old oak and watched as she twirled around the field, gathering wild flowers and greenery. Satisfied she had enough to keep her busy, she settled down beside me, leaning her head against my shoulder as she craftily chained the flowers and foliage together in an intricate web. She hummed quietly to herself as she worked and as I caught the melody of the tune, I turned to her. It was Bella's lullaby.

"Darlin', what aren't you telling me?" I asked as I plucked a daisy from her chain and pinned it behind her ear. Grinning like a cat that had swallowed a giant canary, she looked up at me and I was floored by the emotions radiating off of her. My body pulsed with excitement and I hugged her close, laughing at how alive she felt after so many conflicting thoughts.

"It won't be long, Jazz, and I will tell you. I promise!" She giggled and kissed me quickly on the lips, up and dancing once again through the meadow. I watched her happily, so relieved to see such radiance from her again. There had been moments of happiness since we had returned to Bella, but they were tainted with Charlie's death and the unknown that lay ahead of us. Whatever had happened, Alice was euphoric and I was willing for that to last as long as it could.

It wasn't long before Carlisle and Esme emerged from the tree line, hand in hand. They made their way towards us and settled under another tree, both of them enthralled by Alice's exuberance as well. Carlisle looked over towards me, his eyebrow raised in question and I grinned and shrugged. He shook his head and leaned back against the tree, content to wait for the news. I was relieved to find he was mostly at peace with himself again. When we had first returned to the house after Bella's transformation, I had been almost bowled over by the guilt and self-loathing that Carlisle was feeling. I had known that he would have mixed emotions over Bella's change. After all, he was not only taking a healthy human life, he was also making the ultimate decision to betray the wishes of his first 'son.' I had never dreamed that they would manifest into such dark thoughts however, and I had worried for him. Alice, of course, had seen this in her visions and knew that Carlisle would eventually forgive himself and that the feelings would wear away, but it didn't make it any easier to watch him wrestle with the conflicts within.

Rose and Emmett finally made their appearance and we all headed back towards the house together, Alice leading the way. She turned to grin back at us as she raced up the steps, dancing into the library and settling onto the couch, pulling me to her as I approached. I raised my eyebrow, but she shook her head, grinning, and turned to watch the stairs while the rest of the family settled in.

I felt the joy radiate from Esme before I actually saw the reason, but soon after, I was spiking like a kid on a candy rush from the excitement and happiness in the room as Edward and Bella made their way downstairs to join us, hand in hand.

"Well, lookie here!!" Emmett began as he stood and slapped Edward on the back. "It's about time, Eddie!!" Edward scowled at Emmett, but I knew it was just a cover for the emotional high he was riding. It had been a long time since I had seen either of them look so peacefully happy and it was a relief to know that they had been able to get past the pain and focus on what was important.

Bella smiled as Esme ran over and smothered her in a hug and then reached up and kissed Edward on the cheek. When she turned to face Carlisle, I could have sworn that if it were possible for her to cry tears of joy they would have been plummeting from her glistening eyes. Esme's devotion to her family was limitless and to see her oldest 'son' finally find his way back to Bella was a wondrous thing in her eyes.

If only we could have frozen that moment in time, but it was over too soon as Alice stiffened beside me and I turned to see her eyes glazed over. "No!" was the only word that escaped her lips as she was swept away in terror by the vision that now consumed her. The room had grown silent as I held her close, trying to push away the horrified emotions that were pouring from her and send waves of calm over her at the same time.

Edward moved to Alice's side, grasping her hand in his and I knew from the look on his face that whatever Alice was witnessing was devastating. The vision had consumed her in a way that frightened me and I knew as I glanced around at the overwrought expressions on our family member's faces, that they shared my concern. Generally her visions passed quickly and although they were difficult, she was usually able to pull herself together, but the vice-like grip that this episode had over her was new territory.

After what seemed like hours, but in reality was no more than a few moments, Alice began to relax in my arms. She turned her body to mine, burying her face in my neck as she pulled herself together. I felt her trembling in my arms and knew that she was beyond stressed from what she had seen. Finally, she sat up and grasped my hand tightly in hers as she turned to face the incoming inquisition.

"Alice?" Carlisle spoke softly as he looked at her in concern. "Would you like to take a minute? Perhaps we should go into my office?" I knew Carlisle was concerned with the intensity of her vision and that he also feared the implication of it and how it might affect Bella. It wasn't so much that we were trying to keep things from her, but we were concerned at how she would react to some of the things Alice had been seeing. As controlled as Bella was for being a newborn, we had all witnessed what could happen if she became overwhelmed and none of us wanted to see her go through anything else she wasn't ready for. The recent events with the trapper had been proof of how unprepared we were for her change.

Alice shook her head slightly and closed her eyes for a moment. With a more determined look on her face, she looked to Carlisle and then Bella. "No Carlisle, really I'm ok and I think it's time that Bella knows. She needs to understand what has gone on and what's coming."

"Alice, what do you mean?" Bella asked quickly. Edward tightened his grip on her shoulders and was about to say something, but Alice shook her head at Edward quickly.

"Bella, I'm going to tell you everything, but you need to take a seat with Edward and relax. I know some of the things I'm going to tell you will be upsetting, but I know you can handle it as long as you can keep yourself calm." She turned to Edward. "And you, my brother, need to hold her hand, but I will not keep anything from her ever again, so you need to accept this and accept that Bella is not made of glass. She is one of us now and needs to be included."

I sensed Edward's tension and knew he wanted to argue, but watched in awe as he did as Alice asked, moving with Bella towards the closest loveseat and sitting with her, gently taking her hand in his. Maybe the boy was finally learning something. Bella curled her body towards Edward's and then looked at Alice, giving her an encouraging smile.

Alice smiled back in response and looked around the room, all of our family watching and waiting for her to begin. With a large, un-needed breath she chuckled and squeezed my hand for comfort. "I think it's probably best if I start back at the beginning so that Bella has all the information that we all already know." She looked at Carlisle and he nodded in agreement and we sat back to listen as Alice began to tell her tale.

I watched Bella carefully, monitoring her reaction as Alice recounted her vision of Charlie's death. I knew this would be difficult for Bella to hear again and her grip on Edward's hand tightened as Alice spoke of how we believed Victoria had initially tried to turn her father, but was unsuccessful. The look of terror on Bella's face gave Alice reason to pause. Bella buried her head in her hands and everyone was quiet as Edward whispered soothing words and massaged her shoulders. Within a few moments, I felt Bella regain control and motioned silently for Alice to continue.

"Bella, my visions have been blurry at best as far as Victoria is concerned. At first I thought it was because she was so indecisive, but I believe that she has someone in her group that may be some sort of a shield. Everything is sketchy. I get glimpses, but nothing definite, however a few things have come to pass that the dogs…uh, I mean the Quileutes... have been able to give us a bit more information about."

"You said group, Alice. How many are in this group?" Bella asked calmly.

I squeezed Alice's hand and spoke. "She's building an army, Bella. We don't know how many, but she has been very productive in her recruiting."

Alice continued. "Bella, we know that she has been back to Forks." Alice looked at me quickly and I didn't sense that it was too much so nodded. "A couple of bodies were found at LaPush and we know that she tried to turn at least one of them."

Bella swallowed and I knew she was fighting to rein in her emotions. Her next question came as barely a whisper. "Do we know who?"

Alice nodded. "I'm so sorry, Bella. It was Jessica and Lauren." Bella gasped and swallowed to fight back the venom that I knew was building in her throat. Her eyes had darkened and again I signalled to Alice to give her a moment, knowing that we were far from the worst of it. No matter how we felt about Mike Newton, he had been a good friend to Bella and I knew it was going to be difficult for her to hear what we believed to be true... and then there was the vision of whatever Alice had just seen. I glanced around the room at our family wondering how much more we would have to endure before we would all be safe again.

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_**En**__**d of chapter - our lovely Alice will be offering daisychain-making classes to those who review....or so she says anyway!! Please review!!!**_


	29. Chapter 29

_**A/N - No long note this time…glad everyone is still enjoying the tale!!**_

_**Big thanks as always to my wonderful beta, changedbyEdward and to all of you who have taken the time to share your thoughts!**_

_**Everything Twilight owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.**_

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_**Chapter 29**_

_**(Bella's POV)**_

I sat in horror as I allowed Alice's words to sink in. Jessica Stanley had been a good friend when I first moved to Forks. I hadn't really gotten to know Lauren; she had never really warmed up to me and seemed to have taken it as a personal insult when Edward and I had started dating. Nevertheless, it was heartbreaking to think of how these two girls must have suffered at Victoria's hand because of me. I swallowed back the venom, knowing I had to remain calm or I wouldn't be allowed to hear what else Alice had to say, although I was unsure I really wanted to know more.

I glanced down at Edward's hand, his fingers entwined protectively with mine and I tried to regroup. I looked up to find Jasper's eyes on me, silently asking me to accept his gift. I nodded slightly and immediately felt the tension inside release as a soothing calm washed over me.

I looked back to Alice and knew from the way she was watching me that she was hesitant about proceeding.

"Alice, I would rather know than not. Please just tell me the rest so that we can start figuring out a way to deal with whatever Victoria has up her sleeve." I felt Edward's hand tighten against mine briefly and then relax and I appreciated the comfort it gave me.

Alice glanced quickly at Jasper and then continued. "When we spoke with…Jacob…," she grimaced, "he told us that Mike Newton also went missing that day."

"Went missing?" I whispered in dread.

"Bella, we think there is a strong possibility that Victoria turned him. His body hasn't washed up anywhere and she left Jessica and Lauren to be found in an obvious fashion – as if she were taunting us. I can't believe she wouldn't do the same with Mike if she had killed him."

"Is it possible that he maybe got away? That he is just so freaked out that he hasn't come forward?" I knew I was grasping at straws, but to believe that someone as wholesome and kind as Mike Newton could have been attacked and turned was just too much to process. I moved from the couch and felt Edward rise behind me. "Edward, please just give me a minute." His hand released mine immediately and I refused to look into his eyes for fear of what I might see. I moved towards a window and stared out into the yard, taking in the beauty and peace of where we were staying. It really was a fragile moment in time – all too soon we would be facing a fight, no- a war- with Victoria and all of her newborns. Once again, the people I loved were being thrown in harm's way because of me.

The silence in the room was deafening, each of the family lost in their own thoughts and fears of the coming days. There had to be a way to resolve this before more people were hurt. The only way I could come up with was to give myself over to Victoria, but I wasn't even convinced that she would let things rest once she had fulfilled her vengeance by killing me. I sighed and turned, moving back to where I had been seated. Sinking into the soft cushions, I felt Edward's hand move gently against the back of my head as he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close. I looked again to Alice and knew immediately that there was something else. "Alice?"

Jasper grabbed Alice's hand in his and squeezed it tightly, quickly bringing it to his lips and then releasing it. "Go on, darlin', we need to get everything out in the open."

Nodding, Alice closed her eyes and her voice was no more than a whisper as I felt Edward tighten his grip against my shoulders. "Victoria has changed her methods. Apparently she doesn't just want vampires."

I looked at her in confusion. "What do you mean, Alice? I don't understand."

"Someone else has been taken, Bella, and for some reason this person has been kept alive."

"So now she's taking hostages? That doesn't make sense!"

"I know it doesn't – but so far it is only one hostage, Bella. She has Angela," Alice whispered, her voice breaking with the revelation.

I sat in stunned silence as I processed this information.

"You mean Angela Weber? The minister's kid?" Emmett asked angrily. "What the hell is that red-headed bitch doing?"

Alice nodded her confirmation. "I don't really know what she has planned for her, but they have her in a terrible place. She appeared to be alive but she has been badly beaten and she looks terrified."

"Of course she looks terrified! Imagine being thrown from your regular life into some horror freak show, Alice!" I spoke rapidly as I pulled away from Edward and wrung my hands together. "Are you sure about this? Maybe it hasn't happened yet? Has anyone checked on her?" I dropped my head to my hands, trying to regain the self-control that I was quickly losing. Faint images from what seemed eons ago surged through my mind as I thought of the shy, pretty brunette who had been so wonderful to me from the moment I arrived in Forks.

Even after I befriended the Cullen's, she remained my friend and made the effort to include Alice and Edward in her conversations and activities. When Edward had left...I felt the familiar pain in my chest as I remembered those dark days…she had been the one to quietly comfort me, sitting with me in silence when all the others avoided me like the plague.

I raised my head and looked at Alice and then the rest of my family. "We can't let this happen. We can't let her destroy any more innocent lives. We have to get Angela back."

"Bella…" Edward began.

I wheeled around facing him. "Please Edward! We've got to do something!" I grasped his hands in mine, begging him silently to not try and argue.

He sat quietly staring into my eyes and I knew it was against every fibre of his being to agree with me. He closed his eyes briefly, pressing his fingers against the bridge of his nose and then nodded, his eyes meeting mine as he turned to Carlisle.

"Bella is right. We can't let this go on any longer. Victoria is not going to stop unless we make her do so."

"Bring it on, brother!" Emmett stood up, fist in the air, but not before Rose smacked him hard on the arm.

"You're right; we need to deal with this situation, Edward. I am afraid that if we don't handle it soon, there will be others who come to do so and we don't need that happening." Carlisle stood and held his hand out to Esme. "Perhaps we should all take a break from this and reconvene in an hour or so to come up with a plan?"

I watched as Carlisle and Esme left the room, Emmett and Rosalie following behind them. Jasper stood and walked over to Alice, who had been silent since my outburst.

"Alice," I moved to her side. "Alice, I'm sorry I freaked out. It's just..."

"I know, Bella. I understand. Angela is my friend, too and I can't imagine what she's going through right now." Her hand covered mine and I pulled her off the chair into a hug. We stood quietly together for a moment, two sisters afraid.

Another wave of calm spread through the room and I raised my head to look at Jasper. He shrugged his shoulders, unsure of how else to help us and I smiled tentatively to let him know I understood. Pulling away from Alice, I reached behind me and immediately felt Edward's arms wrap around me. The four of us stood in silence, lost and unsure of how to proceed.

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_**(Angela's POV)**_

I woke to the darkness, my hands flailing in a blind search for my glasses or what I feared was left of them. I moaned as I moved around the floor of my cell, pain shooting through my legs from being still for so long against cold cement.

Granted a small reprieve, my left hand touched the frame of my specs and I silently thanked God for not totally forgetting about me as I put them on.

A faint source of light began to leak in through a small window twenty feet above my head. I leaned back and looked towards the light, surprised to see more small windows further up the wall. The small room I was being held in appeared to be circular in shape. _Where the heck am I?_

I let my head fall back lightly against the wall, fighting back the tears that surged behind my eyelids. It wouldn't help to allow myself to dissolve into a puddle of despair. I had to keep my wits about me and try to find a way out. Clinging to that thought, I pulled myself to my feet and using the wall, slowly moved around the small space, grinning in triumph when I located the door in the semi-darkness. My happiness was short-lived however, when I realized that it was locked solid. Dismayed, I moved back around the room and sank to the floor, defeated.

_What on earth do Mike and that woman, Victoria he had called her, want with me? How long will they keep me here? Are people looking for me? My parents must be frantic. What happened to Mike Newton?_

Resigned to the fact that I was a helpless prisoner, the tears I had fought back only a short time before fell in earnest until I collapsed, emotionally exhausted. I don't know how long I was out, but the room was a little brighter when I awoke. As I glanced around the space again, I noticed seeds some kind scattered on the floor and I could clearly make out the steel door that held me captive.

I surmised from the seeds and the stale scent of grain that I was being held in a silo of some kind. Noise from outside the door shook me from further thought on the subject and I began to yell. "Help! Is someone out there? Please, if you can hear me, please help me!"

The door flew open and hope turned to anguish as I felt a sharp cuff against my cheek that made my teeth rattle. I shrank back in fear as two rough hands grabbed my shoulders and shook me forcefully before throwing me hard enough against the wall to knock the air from my lungs.

"Shut up you stupid bitch, before I rip your tongue out!" Victoria hissed as she stalked towards me again.

"Vic, calm down! We need her alive." I stared in silence at Mike as he approached me, glaring. Victoria threw her hair back and flounced towards the door watching us sullenly.

"I don't know why you insisted on coming back here so soon anyway. She could have gone at least another day without food and water." She spat angrily.

I shrunk back as Mike came closer, his red eyes still scowling at me darkly. He dropped a bag and bottle of water at my side. A hiss escaped his lips and his eyes darkened immediately as he grasped my hair in one hand and yanked me towards him roughly, his eyes focussed on the side of my mouth. A growl escaped his lips and I fought back a scream as I instinctually pulled away, my tongue darting to where his eyes were fixated.

He moved back from me quickly at the same moment that I tasted the blood that seeped from my split lip. Nausea and terror overtook me as I grimly realized that I was in grave danger and that perhaps some of the legends of the area were not so far-fetched after all.

Mike had moved back to the door where Victoria stood and pointed to the items he had left on the floor beside me. "Make it last, Angela, and if you even think of making noise like that again, I'll kill you myself!" he snarled.

With one last glance around the room, they left, the deadbolt echoing around the chamber as they locked the door.

I stared at the door for a long time after they left, afraid to move, afraid to breathe. When I was sure they were gone, I allowed myself to crumble, my body shaking uncontrollably as hot tears once again ran down my cheeks. I wrapped my arms around my body, rubbing my arms with my hands to get my circulation going. It wasn't physically cold, but chills ran up and down my spine as thoughts rushed rapidly through my brain.

How could it be possible? I thought back to two summers ago when a bunch of us had camped as a group down at La Push, staying up late into the night by the campfire sharing scary stories trying to terrify each other. Some of the kids from the res had been there and they had definitely told some dark tales, but we had all laughed everything off, never dreaming that they could possibly be true.

Yet, I had seen it and felt it with my own eyes. Mike was no longer the person he had been. His body was like stone, cold and hard to the touch, and his eyes…they were terrifying – so red and full of hate. I trembled again as I remembered the look on his face when my lip had been bleeding. I had known at that moment that he would not hesitate to kill me, but why hadn't he? He told Victoria that they needed me alive – what for? Why me?

None of it made sense, but I knew if I even had a chance to survive, I would have to keep my wits about me. And that meant eating. I moved back against the wall and grabbed the large bottle of water, gulping back some of the cool liquid, careful not to drink too much. I ripped part of the paper bag and dampened it with water so I could wipe my face and hands and then looked at the contents. It looked like they had raided a convenience store, but I was grateful for it anyway. Tearing open a bag of chips, I took inventory of the few other items I could ration out. Hopefully they would be back sooner than later or I would starve to death. But perhaps that would be a better fate than what they had planned for me. My body trembled again at the thought and I closed my eyes, forcing the visions of red eyes to the back of my mind…if only for a moment's peace.

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**_End of chapter – poor Angela! Reviews might cheer her up!!_**


	30. Chapter 30

_**A/N - Another chapter, my lovelies! Warning it has a bit of lemony goodness, so if you aren't interested in that sort of thing - you may wish to skip the second part. Consider yourself warned! LOL**_

_**Many thanks to changedbyEdward for being the rockingest beta ever....MWAH! And of course thanks to all of you for your continued support of this story!**_

_**Stephenie Meyer holds the deed to Twilight world. I have simply taken a permanent lease to reside in it! :) No copyright infringement intended!**_

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_**(Bella's POV)**_

"We can't go back to Forks," Carlisle stated quietly as he, Edward and Jasper stood around the dining room table, discussing possible areas for combat. Emmett and Rosalie had gone out for a quick check of the surrounding area to see if there were any signs of rogue vampires in the vicinity.

I sat with Alice and Esme listening to the boys discuss strategy. Alice was in deep concentration playing out different scenarios in her mind, hoping something would trigger a positive response. Suddenly her hand gripped mine. "No, Bella!"

Edward was at my side instantly, having read from Alice's thoughts what she had envisioned.

"Bella, we will get her back but we'll do it as a family." He stared at me intently, his butterscotch eyes piercing my heart with the panic I saw in them. "Promise me you won't try to be a hero and do this on your own."

"Edward is right, Bella." Carlisle's words drew my attention. "I know you are troubled about Angela, and understandably so, as well as our family's safety, but we will do this as a united front. It is the only chance we have at being successful."

I felt Edward's arms wrap around my torso and I melted into his embrace, his chin resting gently on top of my head. As worried as I was about Angela, I felt myself relax in his hold.

"Edward, Bella needs to learn how to fight, how to defend herself." I felt his body tense again and knew without looking that he was glaring at Jasper's words.

"Jazz is right, Edward. Bella has to be able to protect herself if need be." Alice crossed the room and settled into Jasper's lap, his arms immediately wrapping her in an affectionate embrace. "We can teach her all she needs to know."

I turned in Edward's arms, lifting my chin to meet his gaze, surprised yet again to see the change in him. The Edward from my previous life had done everything in his power to keep me from danger, even if it meant lying to me. This time though, things were different. I watched him sigh and nod in agreement with Alice.

"As much as I hate it, love, I know they're right," he whispered as he kissed me lightly on the forehead. With this simple admission, I felt another missing piece clink into place. I was beginning to feel as though he had finally accepted me as his equal and that in itself was a huge step in fixing an extensive part of what had been wrong with our relationship when I was still human.

"Did I hear we're gonna teach Baby Bells how to scrap?" Emmett's voice boomed through the house as he and Rose appeared. Leave it to Emmett to find the fun in things, even when they were at their worst.

"I wouldn't get so excited there, champ," Jasper drawled. "Don't forget she's a crazy newborn. My money's on Bella kicking your ass!"

"Count me in!"

Emmett turned to his wife. "Rosie! You're betting against me?" The pout was so pronounced that I couldn't help but feel bad for him.

"Sorry, Em…I _**know**_ that Bella can kick your butt. I may love you, but I'm not going against the odds for you!"

I smiled at Rosalie, basking in her confidence. I was grateful for the lightened mood in the room, although I knew it would be only a matter of moments before things turned more serious. Every moment that Angela was in Victoria's clutches was another moment against the possibility of her surviving.

"Did you see anything on your patrol?" Carlisle asked, bringing the room to order.

"No, nothing. Not even a scent of anyone having been in the area," Emmett responded as he slumped onto the couch looking disappointed, pulling Rosalie down into his lap as he did so. She swatted at his hold, but snuggled against him anyway.

"Well, if she and her minions haven't been in the area, what do we do?" I asked quietly.

"I think our best bet is to try and draw her out," Jasper replied, "But the only thing that we know she wants is Bella." He turned to Edward. "I know how you feel about this, Edward, but I don't think we have any other choice. We can spend tomorrow going over some basic fighting skills with Bella and then we'll make our move. She will never be out of our sight…we just have to let Victoria see her and hopefully it will make her play along."

"We also need to make sure that we draw her out here." Carlisle moved to the center of the floor so he could face us all. "We can't have the fight move back to Forks. Too much has happened there already and there is no possibility of us returning there with Bella."

"Why?" I asked quickly.

"The Quileute's, Bella," Alice answered quickly. "The pack has no idea that you've been changed and that the treaty has been broken. If we return to Forks now, not only will we have Victoria and her army to deal with, but also the wolves."

Jacob. I had forgotten about Jacob. How was that possible? He had been such a good friend and had tried so hard to help me after Edward left. Carlisle had told me about the tribe and their legends and I knew that a majority of the young Quileute boys were now shape shifters because of the vampires in the area. They had hesitantly put up with the Cullens and their 'vegetarian' ways, but there would be no understanding why I had been changed or that it had been my choice. The treaty had been broken in their eyes and there would be no forgiveness on their part. I was sure of it. I remembered the hatred and fear in Billy Black's eyes when he had realized Edward and I were seeing each other. To top that off his best friend, my father, had been killed by a vampire, the very creature I had chosen to become. How would he ever stand for that?

"My change means we will never be able to return to Forks, will we?" I asked quietly.

"I hope we will be able to someday, Bella. In time, I plan to contact the tribe and explain all that has happened and hope they will allow us to return." Carlisle approached me carefully, crouching to face me. "Don't stress about this. We would not change a thing." He patted my shoulder and stood again.

"If we are all in agreement, I think our best plan would be to leave Seattle as soon as we have dealt with Victoria. Perhaps it is time to return to our Alaskan home for awhile, unless you would all prefer some time in Europe for a change?"

"I think our home in Scotland would be ideal, Carlisle," Alice responded brightly.

A round of nods confirmed the plan. "Esme my love, can you make the preparations for our next move? I think it would be best if we had everything arranged to leave fairly quickly."

Esme nodded in agreement, heading for the kitchen to retrieve her laptop and at the same time, Emmett and Rosalie disappeared to the second floor. Carlisle and Jasper had resumed their strategy discussion and I waited for Edward to gravitate back towards them, but was surprised when he pulled me tighter into his embrace, pressing his lips to the hair over my ear.

"Are you thirsty, love?" His soft whisper and warm breath made my senses alert and I nodded anxiously.

We stood quickly and moved to leave, until I heard the giggle from Alice. Suspicious, I glanced at Edward and then back at our sister, wondering what on earth the two of them were discussing silently.

"Hello? Non-gifted vamp here…mind sharing what you two are discussing?" I folded my arms in front of my chest and tried to look perturbed at the two of them. A low growl from Edward really piqued my interest as he stalked out of the room. "Alice, what did you do?"

"Don't worry, Bella. He will be right back and then the two of you will be able to head out." She laughed in earnest now. "I just told him where he could find the new piano bench I had delivered!"

I fled from the room as the chuckles from Jasper and Carlisle were smothered by Emmett's booming laughter filtered down from the second floor. Even if I didn't blush anymore – I could see how my embarrassment would be entertainment for the family for many years to come…as long as Victoria didn't get her way….

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_**(Edward's POV)**_

We ran silently through the forest, side by side. I watched with admiration as Bella jumped gracefully across the stones in the river that ran through the property leading further into the forest. In no time at all we were standing hand in hand in the meadow where I had first watched her hunt with Rosalie and Emmett.

I glanced over and was stunned, completely fascinated as she tilted her head towards the starry sky, an angel personified, her skin shimmering in the moonlight. She was breathtaking and she was mine. I had wasted so much time. If only I had been able to see past my fears and anxiety and grasp what Bella and my entire family had been able to see all along.

I felt Bella squeeze my hand and I smiled down at her. "What are you thinking about? You were a million miles away."

How could I tell her? Did she really want to know? I brought her hand to mine and kissed the back of her palm gently, breathing in her floral essence as I did so. My body ached to touch her, to take her again and again here in the meadow amongst the wildflowers. I raised my hand to her cheek and she leaned into my touch, her eyes burning with what I knew was a similar desire.

"I was a fool. I love you and I am so sorry, Bella. I never should have left. I realize that now. I should have done as you asked – given you what you wished for. I will never forgive myself for what I have put you through and I only hope that you will let me make it up to you for all eternity."

"Stop." Bella pulled her hand from mine and moved further into the meadow. Unsure of what she was thinking, I froze, instantly regretting having spoken of the past.

I watched as she turned to face me and my fear dissipated as she held her hands out to me. Not wanting to be apart from her for another moment, I flashed across the empty space between us, entwining my fingers with hers.

"Bella…I..." She shook her head and let go of my hand again, pressing her fingers to my lips.

"Edward. I don't want your guilt. I don't want your regrets. I just want your word. Promise me, here and now, that you will never leave me again. Promise me that you will accept me as your equal and not make decisions for me. If you can promise me these two things, then that's all I need to know."

"Bella, I can promise you that I will never leave you again as I know I could not survive another day without you by my side. I can't promise you that I will consider you my equal because you are a far better person than I could ever dream of being." She moved to argue but I shook my head, smiling before continuing, "Hush love, let me finish. I do promise that I will never make a decision without your equal input again." I rested my forehead against hers and inhaled her fragrance.

"Then that's all I need," she whispered as her lips met mine. Time seemed to stop as we lost ourselves in that kiss. Our mouths, hesitant at first, soon warmed and melted together, tongues tasting and taunting each other for more.

Pulling her close into my arms, I lifted her and carried her to a spot below a large oak tree where the flowers were especially plentiful, our lips never parting from each other. I lay her down gently among the blue stars and wild violets and leaned back to look at her. "Perfection," I whispered as I lay down beside her and reclaimed her lips with mine.

Bella's hands wove their way into my hair as she wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me deeper into her kiss, her moan of pleasure smothered by our connection. In an instant I was on my back, Bella's eyes darkening with desire as she continued her onslaught of kisses along my jaw to my neckline, sucking my lobe into her mouth and nibbling as her hands moved along the sides of my body. I mirrored her movements, initiating a soft growl from deep within as her body writhed above mine. Her small hands were like vice grips as she caught my wrists and pinned my arms against the ground.

|She pulled back suddenly and sat still, her eyes never leaving mine. I raised my eyebrows in question and she shook her head so I waited.

A sly grin came to her lips as she hovered above me, her lips inches from mine. Again I went to move my hands and was denied. "I just want to try something." I stared at her confused. "Don't move." And suddenly the memory was all around us. "Stay perfectly still." And her lips met mine as she kissed me as I had kissed her so long ago. Her lips brushing mine, barely touching and then intensifying before she pulled away, staring at me with eyes dark as coal.

"Of all the memories to carry Bella…" I whispered, stunned at how she had moved me with such an innocent thought.

"Edward?" Her hands moved up and down my chest and I gasped at the electricity of her touch. Her voice so soft and gentle.

"Yes love?"

"Why don't you show me what you really wanted to do to me that night?" I stared in fascination as my Bella changed from the innocent schoolgirl to vixen with one sentence and her fingernails made confetti of the shirt I had been wearing.

Her sultry laughter filled the air as I flipped her onto her back, ridding her of her sweater and bra with one flick of my hand. Her eyes glittered black as I growled and buried my face into her neck, my teeth grazing her skin as I nipped and licked my way from her throat to the path between her two breasts, my hands cupping and squeezing her soft mounds as my fingers teased her nipples into taut little buds. I laughed against her skin as I held her hands tight against her body, continuing the onslaught of biting and kissing down her stomach, my tongue darting into the small indentation of bellybutton that peaked above her waistline.

"Bella, Bella, Bella…" I chastised. "You have far too many clothes on for what I want to do to you." My teeth caught the waist of her pants and pulled them away, drawing a gasp from her. I chuckled again as I spied the delicate lace thong she wore and snapped the fabric, ripping it away from her, eliciting another moan.

Her desire was intoxicating and I inhaled her fragrance as I teased down her newly barren abdomen, my nose teasing at her skin as I moved lower and lower until I had reached the exquisite bouquet in front of me.

"Edward, please," she whimpered as my fingers teased against the insides of her thighs and I blew against her skin, my tongue only inches from her honey pot, her creamy nectar calling to me. Unable to resist any longer, I buried my mouth against her delicate lips, my tongue dancing against the soft skin and delicious juices being offered to me. Her hands wound their way into my hair and she pulled at the curls as her body trembled against mine.

I sensed she was close and I pulled her hips towards me, burying myself into her mound, nipping gently at the folds as her body reacted to the euphoria. Her moans and sighs soon became low growls as she pulled me close. Unable to resist her any longer, I met her mouth with mine, her kisses hungry and inviting as she tasted herself on me. "Edward, please…" she moaned against my skin once again as her body responded to my touch.

My jeans were soon hanging from the lower branches of the oak as I buried my face between her breasts, my erection hard against her thigh. I felt her body rubbing against me, her hands feathering against my skin as her lips nipped against my Adam's apple and I moaned, knowing I would have to give in. Rolling onto my back, I repositioned her hips against me and she shivered, her velvet core pressing against the tip of my hardened cock. Our eyes locked as I pulled her down, sheathing my member inside of her, and holding her still for only a few moments before letting her set the pace.

My hips rose to meet hers as she rocked against me, her long dark hair teasing against my chest as she leaned in towards me and then pulled away with each motion. I lost myself in her movements as she peaked again, her body tensing and releasing with each wave of orgasm. My body responded in kind and I grabbed her hips, holding her tightly to me as my body erupted with hers. Momentarily spent, Bella dropped against me, her body blanketing mine as we lay entwined as one.

I wrapped my arms around her tightly and kissed her gently as she stared at me in wonder. "So that's what you really wanted to do that night?"

"Oh, Bella," I chuckled mischievously as I flipped her onto her back. "That's only the beginning of what I wanted to do that night." I buried my mouth against hers smothering her laughter as we let everything else slip away and lost ourselves in the night.

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_**End of chapter - would love to hear your thoughts as I sip from this glass of lemonade! LOL**_


	31. Chapter 31

_**A/N - Hope everyone on the US side has a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend! Thanks for the wonderful comments on the last chapter!**_

_**Love and hugs to my wonderful beta, changedbyEdward and eternal gratitude to Stephenie Meyer for everything Twilight...no copyright infringement intended! **_

* * *

_**(Bella's POV)**_

Reality returned as the early morning sun began its trek to the sky overhead. I lay silently in Edward's arms trying to ignore the oncoming dawn and concentrated solely on the wonderful things he was doing to my neck with his lips and tongue. However, the third ring of his cell phone was simply too difficult to ignore. Reaching up, I yanked his pants from the branch of the oak tree only to hear the fabric rip in reflex.

"You little minx, that was the last piece of intact clothing between the two of us!" Edward scolded as he bit into my shoulder teasingly.

Grabbing the obnoxious distraction from his pocket, he tightened his hold on me as he answered. "Good morning, Alice."

I listened to both sides of the conversation intently, burying my face in his chest as I heard our sister relay where he would find the bag of clothing she had packed for us.

I waited until he ended the call and raised my head to look him in the eye. "God Edward, is there anything she doesn't see!" I laughed, embarrassed that Alice had witnessed enough to know we would require new clothing, yet grateful that I wouldn't have to face the wrath of Emmett's badgering if we had returned to the house naked.

"Don't worry, love. I believe she only looks long enough to see what she needs to see."

"Oh you don't think Alice is a closet voyeur?"

He tapped his head lightly. "Don't forget I can read her thoughts."

"Well, if you see more than I would want to know she has envisioned – don't tell me, ok?"

"Ah, Bella," his eyes twinkled mischievously, "I can almost see the blush." He caressed my cheek gently. "Wait here, I'll be right back."

In an instant he had returned, bag in hand. Thankfully Alice had taken pity and I gratefully grabbed the leggings and long-sleeve shirt from the bag. When I saw that she had even included sneakers, I looked at Edward suspiciously.

"Are you sure Alice packed this?"

"Yes, love. Jasper and Emmett are eager for our return so you can begin your fight training, so she knew you would want to be comfortable – but first, we hunt."

One small herd of mule deer later, we made our way to the training area that Jasper and Emmett had set up while we were away. Edward squeezed my hand affectionately as we approached the rest of the family.

"I see everyone has come out for the entertainment of watching me get my butt kicked," I said low enough that only Edward would be able to hear.

"No, love, that isn't the case at all. It won't hurt any of us to brush up on our defensive skills. Trust me…you will do just fine." He kissed the top of my head lightly and then wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "I can't wait to see the look on Emmett's face the first time you take him down."

"Edward, while your confidence in me is flattering to say the least, I have no idea what I'm doing here!"

"Bella, my love…I have seen you move." If I had been human my face would have been scarlet. "There is no doubt in my mind that you can take Emmett down. Just pay attention to your senses – they'll guide you."

Emmett grinned at me as we approached. "You ready for a smack down, Bells?" Edward growled in response. "Oh chill out, bro, you know I wouldn't let anything happen to Baby Bells. Let's get this show on the road!" I couldn't help but laugh as he pumped his fist in the air and began shadow-boxing. As jovial as Emmett appeared, I knew he was just trying to keep things light. We all knew how serious the stakes were, but if we were going to accomplish anything, we could not allow those thoughts to distract us from what needed to be learned.

Jasper called things to order and we began in earnest. He spent the first little bit explaining about how the newborns would act and react. Knowing a little of Jasper's background, I couldn't help but admire how he had taken leadership of organizing our training and strategy. His time as a soldier, both human and in Mexico with his maker, Maria, had given him tremendous skill in this area and I knew we were very lucky to have him on our side. I had no doubt in the strength of the rest of my family, but I also knew that they were a peaceful bunch and that this fight we were facing was a relatively new experience for all of us except Jasper.

I watched with interest as Jasper then sparred with various members of the family, always making sure that I understood their different methods of attack as well as how they counter-attacked. Each member of the family had a different style of fighting and I wondered if it echoed their style of hunting technique as well. Edward had told me to rely on my instincts so I felt there most likely was a strong connection between the two. I took note to study their movements when we all hunted together again.

The rest of the afternoon to early evening was spent having various members of the family, excluding Edward, both challenge me to spar as well as attack by surprise. Edward refused to attack me and I was upset at first, but after several rounds with Alice and Esme, I understood his hesitance. The close contact and intensity of the sparring really affected our moods and after a few thoughts of attacking Edward crossed my mind, I realized that it would also be very arousing. Jasper cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow at me, a knowing smirk shouting to me that he knew exactly what I was thinking, so I quickly re-focussed on what was happening in front of me, but not before cuffing him in the shoulder.

"Aw darlin', it's a natural reaction. Excitement of any kind can bring out all kinds of emotion and you have to remember, there is a very fine line between love and hate." Jasper glanced over and pointed to Rose as she tackled Carlisle, pinning him to the ground, both of them laughing as she did it. "I know you are worried, Bella, but you need to let go of the human fears that you're carrying and believe in us."

"I'm trying, Jasper, I really am. But when I think of there being even a possibility that anything could happen to Angela or any of you, I'm terrified of the feeling that comes over me."

"But Bella, that's the feeling you're going to need to embrace when it comes to this fight."

"And what if I do and I can't find my way back?"

Jasper turned to face me. "Darlin', you will always find your way back. That is what it means to have what we have. Our mates, our family – we are anchors for each other to keep us from losing ourselves permanently."

I nodded and looked back to the field where Edward and Emmett were going toe-to-toe. We stood watching quietly as time after time; Emmett went to strike, always finding air, Edward anticipating each move as he read his brother's thoughts.

"Ya know, I think it is time you show Emmett what you are made of."

"You don't actually think I could beat him, Jazz?"

Jasper looked over at me, a slow smile forming at his lips. "Oh Darlin', you really need to have a little more faith in your newborn skills."

"But he caught me the last time…"

"Bella," Jasper wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "may I remind you that was your first day and before you had gained any of my killer skills?" He grinned devilishly as we approached the sparring brothers. "Hey Em, why don't you give up getting your ass kicked by Edward and give Bella a shot?"

It didn't take much convincing and I soon found myself face to face with Emmett, crouched into an attack position. "I promise it won't hurt much, Bells," Emmett laughed as he circled, planning his attack.

I chuckled darkly but didn't speak, inhaling his scent and preparing myself for his lunge. Jasper's lessons from the morning replayed in my mind as I concentrated on Emmett's movements, watching for any sign of attack. And there it was, a slight twitch of his eye and a minute drop of his shoulder before he lunged, but a split second too late as I countered and he hit the dirt.

Emmett grinned menacingly, lunging again immediately, but again moving too short as I leapt and perched for a moment on the lower branch of an oak before dropping to the ground silently behind him. He turned quickly, but not fast enough as I jumped and tackled him to the ground. Our bodies flipped, each of us fighting to gain control, but at last I had him pinned, his arm twisted as I leaned against his chest, pinning him to the ground. "Say Uncle!" I whispered and his eyes blazed in fury for a split second, unbelieving that I had actually beaten him.

"Uncle," he caved and I released my grip and stood, extending my hand out to help him off the ground. He shook his head. "Nice one, Bells, but there will be a rematch!"

I smiled and nodded, praying that we would survive long enough to do so.

* * *

_**(Angela's POV)**_

I had lost track of time. Somewhere between my drifts of consciousness and unconsciousness, I had lost track of whether minutes, hours or days had passed. I had tried to keep record of how many times the light faded away from the windows high above me, but I had no way of knowing what I missed when exhaustion would take me.

I knew that someone had been back during one of my blackouts because another bottle of water had been left and a bucket, which I could only assume was to be used for a toilet. My stomach churned at the thought of the conditions I had been left in and to settle the thought I poured a bit of the water onto another piece of the paper bag, dabbing at my face and wiping my hands, if only to have some comfort.

Thoughts of my parents came to mind and I choked back the sobs as I considered what they must be going through. Were they looking for me? Did they know if I was alive? I had to believe that their strong faith would carry them through. Faith. I had spent my first several hours deep in prayer, begging for guidance and mercy. I had prayed for Mike and Victoria's souls as well as my own, knowing full well that the likelihood of me making it out of this place alive was slim if none. I could accept my death if that was God's will, but I could not accept being turned into a monster. Surely if that were what they had planned, it would already have happened.

But if not that, what did they want me for? If it was solely for my blood, I would have already been dead. It couldn't be for money, Mike knew my family was not wealthy and it was obvious that they could simply take whatever they needed, so that was not the reason.

I sat replaying things through my mind, remembering all the odd things that had happened over the past few months. The disappearances, the murders. How much of this had been at Victoria's hand? Obviously what had happened to Jessica and Lauren was her doing as Mike had gone missing the same day. What about the other deaths in the area? There had been so many unexplained incidents all along the coast from Forks to Seattle. It all made sense to me now.

I leaned back against the wall, my head tilted to watch the waning light above. Soon I would be lost in the dark again and my body shuddered at the thought. Another fear overtook my mind, though as I heard the lock snap open and my eyes widened in fear as I stared at the opening door and Mike and Victoria entered my prison.

Even in the fading light, I trembled as I took in the vision of their glowing red eyes staring at me intently. As scared as I was, I never lowered my gaze, determined to not let them know how terrified I really was.

Victoria stayed by the door, a disgusted smirk pasted to her chalk white face. Mike approached me stealthily until he stood only a few feet from where I sat.

"Hello Angela."

I didn't answer and fought back the tears that welled at my eyes. I heard the snicker from the door and blinked them back furiously, I would not show fear.

Mike reached into his pocket and removed his phone and for a moment, I actually believed he was going to let me make a call. Sensing what I was thinking Mike shook his head, an eerie smile teasing at his lips. "Sorry to get your hopes up there, Ang. No such luck. I just thought I might grab a couple of photos…I remember how much you like pictures." He snapped a few times and sighed. "Vic, I don't know if these are going to work. What do you think?" He tossed the phone to her and she laughed as she flicked through what he had taken.

"No Michael, not nearly the dramatic effect we were going for." She tossed the camera back to him. "Here, let me set things up."

In an instant she was beside me and I gasped as her hands grasped my shirt, shredding it so that it barely covered me. She yanked my head by the hair and threw me against the wall, the side of my face making contact with the rough cement and I screamed at the burn of my skin scraping against it. Yanking me back towards her, I felt her hand tighten on my throat and was repulsed as Mike snapped a shot of me in her clutches.

"That should be perfect."

Dropping me like a child discarding a broken doll, she moved back to peer over Mike's shoulder and chuckled manically. "Yes, that should definitely send the right message."

I watched as they moved back towards the door. My voice, no more than a whisper pleaded, "Mike, please let me go."

He turned to face me. "Oh Ang, you can't go yet. The fun is only beginning!" Victoria opened the door and I watched her go, her maniacal laughter grating at my every nerve. "Now, you be good and I'll see about bringing you some more food. Sleep tight!"

The door clanged shut and I dropped to the floor, unsure whether to be grateful or not that I would at least survive another day. I lay sobbing, my face buried in my arm as I tried to wrap my head around what they wanted from me and who the photograph was for.

_Why me?_

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**_End of chapter - Uh - Oh what are those two up to? _**


	32. Chapter 32

_**A/N - Hello! So lots of feedback on the last chapter of what you all thought the pics were for...it was great reading everyone's thoughts so thank you! We are approaching the end of this story...and although I hate to see it coming - I have to admit that my next project has me very excited - hope that you will all stick with me! More details will follow but not until we reach the end... **_

**_Lots of love and squeezes to my fabulous beta and friend, changedbyEdward for putting up with all my grammatical errors on this one and making it look better! MWAH!_**

**_Stephenie Meyer, thanks for making the TWILIGHT world...I am forever indebted - no copyright infringement intended...oh and if you haven't got it yet - "The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner" is a great read...I loved it!_**

_**Now on to Chapter 32...**_

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_**(Carlisle's POV)**_

We stood around the dining room table, the entire family staring at the images that had been enlarged and printed in hopes of one of us recognizing where they had been taken. I stared into the dark, terrorized eyes of the Weber girl and fought back the venom that rose in my throat. Shifting my line of view, I took in the look of crazed glee on the woman that currently held my family in a stranglehold.

There would be no peace, no joy until this creature was destroyed. I recalled a time when I would have sought any other solution than taking a life, but even I could recognize the madness of this woman and knew that if even if we were able to capture her, there would be no changing her ways to accept the path we had chosen. Victoria truly is a monster and will continue to wreak havoc until she is stopped.

I glanced over towards Edward; his arms were wrapped securely around Bella's waist as he murmured calming words to her while they studied the photos. This was tearing my newest daughter apart and for that alone I knew that Victoria needed to be dealt with quickly. The anguish on Bella's face revealed everything she was feeling as she looked at the pictures of her obviously distraught friend and I knew that thoughts of Charlie, Jessica, Lauren and Mike also had to be preying on her mind.

I felt Esme's arm link through mine and I squeezed her hand, our fingers automatically entwining together. As I looked around the table and took in each couple, it gave me hope. Perhaps the bonds we shared as a family, combined with the love we shared with our mates would be the one thing that would get us through. If anything, it was something to build on, in the knowledge that what we had, Victoria did not.

"Does anyone recognize anything familiar about the photos? Anything at all?" I finally asked the question, knowing that decisions needed to be made and that the photos were most likely not going to give us the answers we needed.

"I can't get a read on anything." Alice's usual bell-like tone sounded hollow as she stared at the table. "I've tried focussing on Angela, but everything is so hazy…I don't understand why I'm not getting more." She dropped into the loveseat closest to the table and Jasper followed, his arm circling her shoulders in comfort.

"Maybe we should try responding to the message again?" Bella looked towards me, but her eyes dropped when she saw my head shake negatively.

The pictures had been sent to my cell phone not an hour before. How they got my number was still a mystery, but of no matter really. They had forwarded three pictures, one of Angela alone and then two of Angela being abused by Victoria. Only one word had accompanied the photos…SOON. When I had tried to respond the call went unanswered and after numerous attempts, we decided that they had most likely been sent from a disposable phone….another dead end.

"I think perhaps we should consider going back to our original plan of luring them out, Carlisle." Jasper broke the eerie silence that had once again blanketed the room. "They are playing with us right now and we may be losing valuable time staring at these photos. For all we know they have already taken Angela's life. These could have been taken just previous to doing so."

Bella's gasp was like a piercing arrow and Edward instinctively tightened his hold on his mate, a low growl escaping from his chest, chastising Jasper for being so vocal.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I don't mean to cause you any more pain, but we have to look at this realistically." Jasper moved towards the table, staring at one of the more grisly photos. "They obviously took Angela to lure you out and these pictures are the bait. What do they need her for now?"

There was logic to what Jasper was saying, as much as I hated to believe it. The thought that another human life had possibly been taken was quite feasible. "Bella, I tend to agree with Jasper. Any chance of Angela still being alive is slim. The trap has been set with these photos – Victoria and her accomplices want us to react to…" The vibration of my cell phone interrupted my thought and I glanced at the screen to see another unknown number. I answered immediately, seven pairs of vampire eyes watching and listening as I did so.

* * *

_**(Angela's POV)**_

I watched the procession as it wound its way over the long rocky path they were travelling. They moved slowly, almost methodically, never stopping until they reached their destination. Although it was only a layover while they picked up their load and then began their descent down another winding path. I watched as each one disappeared through the small archway and out of my sight. I could only imagine the stash they had built up somewhere behind that wall. If only I were able to follow, I would gladly carry my share if it meant I would survive and be free of this place.

I squeezed my eyes closed and leaned my head back against the cool stone wall, breaking my study of the small army of ants. It scared me that a collection of bugs was all that stood between me and my loss of sanity, but I truly feared that was exactly the case.

I had no idea how long it had been since the last nightmare visit from my captors. I still had no idea what they had wanted the pictures for and resolved not to allow myself to hope they were for a ransom quest. Even if they had been, I really had lost any hope of making it out of this situation alive. In fact, I had stopped asking for that in my prayers. Now my only request was that I not be forsaken and turned into a monster like those who held me.

Glancing up at the window slits, I could see that I was losing daylight and would very shortly be left in darkness again. If the skies were clear, a bit of moonlight reflected in, but not enough to calm my already frayed nerves. The night terrified me now – more than once I had felt a presence in the cell with me even though I could not see anything. Just one more way for Victoria to torment me.

My stomach growled and I winced as I felt the hunger pangs again. The food was all gone and the water was close to follow. I unscrewed the cap and took a small sip, swishing it around my mouth to savour it for as long as I could before swallowing.

Perhaps they had decided to simply starve me to death now that they had taken those pictures? I lay down and curled into a ball, my eyes remaining dry as the tremors began. I had cried myself out of tears.

Darkness. It surrounded me on all sides. I sat up quickly, once again convinced that I was not alone.

A slight brush against my skin and I shrieked, my legs immediately scrunching up against my chest as I willed myself as far into the wall as I could.

A light flickered and flashed in my face and I stared into two ancient eyes.

"What in tar nation are you doin' holed up in my silo, missy?" The gruff voice questioned me as the flashlight continued to wave light around the building.

A sense of relief washed over me and the tears I believed gone rolled down my cheeks as I realized I had been found. The farmer reached down and grabbed the collar of my shirt, pulling me to my feet. I fought the urge to wrap my arms around the old man – I was so thrilled to see another human. Until I saw his neck snap and his body crumble to my feet.

I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing would come out as I backed myself up against the wall.

"Now Angela, just look what you have done!" Mike stood laughing as my knees gave out and I slid to the ground. "You weren't actually thinking of getting away, were you?"

I stared into his face, shaking my head.

"Why don't I believe you, Angela?" His voice was louder now, slightly more menacing. He grabbed my hair and yanked me forward until my nose was almost touching his. I felt his cold breath against my skin and shivered in response. "I'm not done with you yet!" he spat.

The flashlight still lay lit on the floor and I was able to see that he appeared to be alone. I breathed in deeply, trying to calm myself. Perhaps I could convince him to let me go if Victoria wasn't here.

He stalked towards me, a bag hanging from his hand. The aroma of fresh bread wafted through the open sack and my stomach rumbled in response. "Hungry are we?" He asked maliciously as he dangled the bag just out of my grasp. I reached up for it but he pulled it away. "Now Angela, don't be hasty. I am quite willing to give you what is in this bag, but for a price."

"Mike, I don't have anything. I don't know what you want from me!" I sobbed as I reached for the bag again, only to be denied.

He dropped to the ground beside me, roughly pulling me to him. His hand fisted tightly in my hair as he reached in his pocket with the other. I tried to pull away, but he tightened his hold on my hair and I hated myself for the whimper that escaped my lips.

Suddenly a phone appeared in my hands and I grabbed it quickly, his marble hands immediately closing tightly over mine. "You are going to make a call, Angela. But you will only say what I tell you to, understood?"

I nodded slightly and his grip tightened. "Yes Mike, I understand."

"Good. Don't disobey me, Angela, or I will make sure your worst nightmare comes true."

Treacherous tears welled again, but I fought them back as I opened the phone and pressed the numbers Mike recited to me. As I heard the call connect, he whispered what I was to say once the call was picked up.

A gentle male voice answered the phone and the conversation began.

"Hello, Dr. Cullen?"

"Who's calling please?"

My voice shook as I felt Mike tug my hair to respond. "Angela Weber."

"Angela? Are you alright? How did you get this number child?"

I was silent for a moment as Mike's words echoed in my brain. When I didn't immediately repeat them, his free hand grabbed my leg above the knee and he squeezed until I screamed.

"Angela, Angela?" Dr. Cullen's voice boomed through the telephone now as I gasped at the pain. "Are you alright? Can you tell me where you are?"

I gasped as I rushed the words out. "I'm sorry. They want me to tell you that they want Bella." His hand tightened on my leg again. "They will trade me to you for Bella." I sobbed as I said the words. I knew that Mike was lying. I knew he would never let me ago and the thought of bringing Bella into this when she had already lost so much was more than I could stand. We had only known each other for a short while, but she was one of my best friends. I couldn't do this to her.

Mike grabbed the phone from me and shoved me hard against the wall. I fought to hear what he was saying, but the words spilled out of his mouth so quickly it was hard to follow what was being said.

I heard Bella's name again and something about a clearing and the word 'alone.' The call ended and he loomed towards me, grabbing me by the shirt and shoving my back up against the wall, my feet no longer touching the floor.

I stared down into his face, begging him to simply end whatever this was. "Mike, please just kill me. If you aren't going to let me go, please just get it over with and do what you have been planning all along."

I closed my eyes and waited, only to feel myself fall to the floor. I looked up as the door slammed shut behind me, the click of the lock signalling the end of the visit. I looked around my prison, relieved to see that he had left the flashlight and the bag of food.

Crawling to the bag, I ripped into the loaf of bread and shoved the morsel into my mouth, silent tears streaming down my cheeks as I replayed the phone conversation in my mind. The words streamed through my brain and I fought to make sense of them. I grabbed the bottle of water and took a sip, gagging in reflex as my eyes met the dead ones of the farmer, staring back at me. My hunger forgotten, I sat and rocked back and forth as the horrors of the night reflected over and over through my mind.

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_**End of chapter - anyone wanna kick Mike's ass? Leave it in a review!**_


	33. Chapter 33

_**A/N – Wow…so much contempt for Vamp Mike! LOL Thanks for all the feedback!**_

_**Changedbyedward is my wonderful beta! Steph Meyer continues to awe and inspire me. Loved the new book ! The Twilight world is hers and no copyright infringement is intended! Oh and…26 days…..WOOHOO!**_

Chapter 33

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_**(Edward's POV)**_

There would be no changing her mind. Bella may have been stubborn as a human, but she added a whole new dimension to the trait as a vampire.

We had all listened intently as the phone conversation between Carlisle and Angela played out; thankful that for the moment at least, she was still amongst the living. Our spirits immediately dampened when the vampire we all assumed was Newton swiftly and ominously relayed their demands.

Or should I say demand. There was only one thing they wanted…Bella. The instant the call ended, the arguing began. Bella was determined to save her friend, no matter what the cost. It took Jasper, Emmett and I to restrain her from leaving at that precise moment. Her newborn instincts were in overdrive and at first it was nearly impossible to even get her to listen to reason.

This was a trap. They had no plans of letting Angela go – she knew too much. It was obvious to us that Bella would have been walking into an ambush - it would have been for lack of a better term, 'a suicide mission.' Once we had convinced her of this, she hesitantly agreed to sit with us while we devised a plan to rescue Angela and take care of Victoria, once and for all.

Discussions bounced back and forth for quite awhile, each of us giving our input on the plan and then allowing Alice the time to visualize each blueprint to see if anything we had suggested would be successful. Once we had determined our best option, we retreated to our rooms to prepare and share a few moments of quiet time with our respective mates. We all had great faith in Alice; her visions had always been a strong guide for us, but we also all knew that there still remained some risk. One curveball could throw off the whole chain of events, changing the future forever.

Bella lay curled into my side, her arm draped across my chest as she drew invisible designs into the duvet cover. Her face was drawn with worry and I ached to give her some comfort but knew that she would feel this way until the battle was over and Angela was safe. Pressing my lips against her forehead, I pulled her tight against my chest, hoping that at least the embrace would ease her concern a little.

Her chin rested against my chest as she stared up into my face, her scarlet eyes glimmering with emotion. "Edward?"

"What is it, love?"

"If that really was Mike and Victoria has changed him – is there any chance he can be shown the 'vegetarian' way of life?" Her question surprised me even though it shouldn't have and I fought to keep my green dragon in check. I knew that Bella had no romantic interest in Newton and that her concerns were out of friendship, but I would be lying if I didn't admit that it bothered me.

"I don't know, Bella. You know how we have all had our struggles with this, even if it is the only way of vampire life we have known. I would like to think any vampire could change his ways, but it really is up to the individual."

"Do you think the rest of the family would be willing to try and show him this path?" Her hand caressed my cheek as she watched my face for a change in expression. "Edward, my heart belongs to you, but he was a good friend to me."

I swallowed the venom that rose to my throat as I fought to remain calm. "This _'friend'_ is the vampire that kidnapped Angela, Bella. This _'friend'_ is not the person you knew. He was sired by Victoria, and I _know _I do not need to remind you how heartless and cruel she can be. He has been taught her ways and may not be willing to give them up. Do not forget that deep down we are selfish, manipulative creatures."

"Edward," Bella sat up, pulling her knees into a hug. "Jasper was sired by a similar creature. Do you think that of him as well? And if Mike is so selfish and manipulative, why hasn't he killed or turned Angela already?"

"No, I don't think that of Jasper, but I do know how he struggles on a daily basis, love, and it has been decades since he left Maria. As for Angela, the only reason she is still alive, Bella, is you. They want you and believe she is the way to get to you." Sitting up, with my back against the pillows, I took Bella's hand and pulled her to me, her back resting against my chest. I pressed my lips against the skin of her neck, just below her earlobe, eliciting a small growl from deep within her chest.

"Edward, you're trying to change the subject."

"Yes love, I am. I think we have spent far too long on the subject of Mike Newton. I can find much more interesting things for us to do," I whispered as I continued my trail of kisses along her neckline.

Bella curled her body around, straddling me as she ran her hands up my biceps until her fingers curled around my neck, tangling them into my hair. Her lips met mine as she traced her tongue along my bottom lip, her cool breath whispering against my cheek. I leaned my head back as she ran her tongue against my bottom lip before drawing a line of gentle kisses down towards my Adam's apple, her mouth suckling against my skin. She rocked against my already erect member, her body snuggling closer to mine until we were cheek to cheek. I moved my hands up beneath the back of her shirt, caressing the soft skin just above her waistline.

"Edward?" Her velvet whisper sang a sultry song of seduction to me.

"Yes love?"

"Will you at least think about it? Will you speak with Carlisle?" Her question rang so sweetly as she continued her exploration of my throat with her lips and tongue. At that moment, I knew I had officially become a member of the whipped society. Nodding my assent, I pushed her to the bed - I may have agreed to her request, but I would make sure that she wouldn't have one more thought of Mike Newton for the rest of the night.

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_**(Angela's POV)**_

A full day had come and gone since Mike had forced me to make the call. Once again, someone had stolen in while I was passed out and removed the farmer's corpse from my prison. I was thankful it was gone, even though in my mind I could still see his lifeless eyes staring back at me.

Standing, I felt my knees begin to buckle and I pressed my hand against the stone wall, steadying myself. I was almost out of water and food again, so I had been trying to ration the little bit that remained. I was going to have to give in and eat something however, if I had any hope of lasting.

After my simple meal of bread and water, I stood again and walked the parameter of the silo, praying I would find something to give me hope even though I had followed the same routine every day that I had been held captive.

My scheduled walk was disturbed however as the door slammed open and Mike stood in the doorway. The afternoon sun shone brightly and I gasped as it reflected off his skin, iridescent beads of color showering the walls with a rainbow. Even though I should have been terrified, the colors captured my attention so much that I barely noticed Mike's movements until I found myself whisked off my feet and draped over Mike's back. Instinctually I clasped my arms around his neck and buried my face against his shoulder, remembering the dizziness I had experienced the last time he carried me this way.

I didn't even question why I was being taken away from my prison, I had known that whatever reason I had been abducted for had everything to do with that phone call. Their need for me was over. I swallowed back the tears as I realized that my life was about to end. I would never see my family again and it broke my heart that they most likely would never even know what really happened to me. As the wind whipped through my matted hair, I recited the Lord's Prayer silently, hoping that my words would be heard and I would be looked after.

I had no idea how far we had travelled when Mike began to slow his gait and I raised my head to see that we were approaching a meadow of some kind. It was lined with trees on all sides, but very open except for a few large oaks at one end. As we approached, I saw a flash of red hair and my heart came into my throat. I had hoped that if I was indeed to die today that it would be Mike who did it. Although he was just as much a monster as Victoria, I believed that my murder would have been fairly quick at his hands.

When we reached the largest oak, he dropped me to the ground and my back slammed against the trunk with the impact. Cold hands gripped my shoulders, pulling me taught against the tree as rope wrapped around my torso in a blur, binding my arms to my sides. The ropes were so tight it was difficult to breathe and I moaned at the discomfort, instantly regretting it as the back of Victoria's hand made impact with my cheekbone.

"Cut it out, Vic!" Mike seethed as he stalked towards her. His eyes were almost black with anger and I watched in silent terror as the two of them paced around me, like lions protecting their prey. She laughed in response and shoved her hands against him.

"A little on edge are we, Michael?" She pushed him towards me. "I told you that you should have hunted before bringing her. Why don't you have a taste?" I felt my eyes widen in response to her chilling statement and turned my head to find Mike staring at me, his thirst for my blood obvious. I closed my eyes and swallowed at the lump in my throat, preparing myself for his attack.

It did not come, however. He licked his lips and stared back at her. "I can handle a little thirst, Victoria – we stick to the plan. You know where I will be."

I watched in horror as he disappeared into the forest behind us. Victoria's evil chuckle brought my eyes back to her and I watched as she moved towards me. "Oh, Angela," she purred, her tone dripping with sugar-coated venom, "we are going to have such fun together once this is over." In an instant she was beside me and I fought to hide my fear as her cold marble finger trailed down the side of my cheek in a gentle but chilling caress. "Such fun."

A noise across the field distracted her and I was relieved to see her move away from me, closer to the center of the meadow. I squinted to see what held her attention, wondering if it were possible that Dr. Cullen and his family would actually be willing to sacrifice Bella for me. None of it made sense and I feared that I would not be the only person to die today.

For a few moments it seemed as though Victoria was waiting in vain, but then I saw them in the distance as they came out of the trees. My immediate relief at seeing them, even though I was far from being free, turned to dread as I watched the Cullens move into the sunlight; the same spectacle of color I had witnessed earlier with Mike sparkling off of their skin. How could it be?

I sat entranced as they seemed to float across the field towards Victoria, completely in unison. My stomach was in knots as I fought back the bile that rose to my throat. My eyes jumped from face to face as I recognized Emmett and Rosalie and then Alice and Jasper. Alice looked towards me, offering a sad smile and I almost believed that she meant it. I remembered how she and Edward had befriended the rest of our group once Bella came into our lives. Did Bella know? No, it was impossible…wasn't it?

This whole situation was like a never-ending nightmare. A nightmare which suddenly became so much worse once the family stopped in the center of the field. A gasp escaped from my lips as I stared at the scene in front of me – it couldn't be!

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_**End of chapter – hmm…any guesses on who Angela sees?**_


	34. Chapter 34

_**A/N – Thanks to all who were kind enough to review the last chapter! Even though I am a total fail at review response…they have been great fun and I treasure each and every one.**_

_**I would be lost without my lovely beta, changedbyedward! Thanks to LolaRose and Lazykatevamp for reading this one through – I appreciated the moral support…LOL**_

_**Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended!**_

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_**(Victoria's POV)**_

The bitch was finally within my grasp. I stood by the tree where the human was bound, watching as the Cullens came into view. I scanned the parameter of the field, pleased to see that none of my minions had disobeyed – they were all hidden in the trees, waiting for my command.

The plan was simple. Once I had Bella – my army was to swarm in, taking out the human-loving leeches first. Our bait, Angela, was to be the prize for whoever made it to the tree first after every stinking Cullen was destroyed.

Michael was out of sight, waiting for us deep in the forest. He believed that I was going to share Bella, but unfortunately for him, the thrill of finally seeing her dead would be mine alone. Only then would I be able to let go of James – my debt would be paid in full. Michael and I would be free to travel, hunt and fuck wherever and whenever we wanted.

That simple thought brought a rush of bliss to my being that I had never felt in all my time as a vampire. I pushed that sentiment back, knowing it would not help in the task that lay before me. There would be eternity to bask in it after we finished here.

As the Cullens moved towards me, I inhaled deeply, searching out the scent of the one that mattered. It was then I noticed that something was off. Although her essence was in the air, there was something obviously different about it. I listened carefully, realizing at once that the only heartbeat on the field was the one belonging to the human behind me.

At that exact moment, the Cullens fanned out and I stood yards away from my once mortal enemy – her eyes now as scarlet as mine.

"Hello Bella," I spoke softly without malice, "I see that some things have changed since last we met."

"I'm here, Victoria – that was the deal. Now let Angela go!"

"Ah, ah, ah," I scolded, "Aren't we impatient? Seeing as how dear Carlisle wasn't completely honest about your condition, I believe the rules may have to change a bit." I watched the newborn before me, her hands flexing at her sides and knew that she was fighting with every fibre of her being to remain calm and not attack. Edward moved to stand more closely behind his mate, his hands gripping her hips as he whispered calming words in her ear.

"Awww, isn't that the sweetest thing. Still protecting her even after you finally developed the balls to change her, Edward?" The flash of fury that crossed his face was the only proof I required to go in for the kill. "But you didn't change Bella, did you? Hmm, now who could it be? Whose venom pumps through her veins, Eddie? Daddy Dearest's?"

"Shut up, Victoria!" Bella spat at me, her eyes darkening in contempt. It was amusing to watch. I had always found her such a boring little human and really could not understand what the draw was. She had not only wrapped Edward and his entire family around her little finger, but my James as well. Even Laurent had been smitten with her. But now, as a vampire, I could see a hint of what they must have been drawn to. It was going to make destroying her that much sweeter.

"Oh, but Bella! I have so many questions for you! Have you tasted your first kill, yet? Have you learned how much more delicious a human is over the ridiculous diet your 'family' adheres to? I have a treat that I would be more than willing to share with you if you would like a taste?" I motioned back to where Angela was. "Better yet, have you shared with your precious Edward that no matter how hard he fucks you – no one is more important to you than your sire? That a part of you will always belong to Carlisle?"

Bulls-eye! I had finally pressed the button I had been searching for and watched in amused fascination as Bella flew out of Edward's arms and across the small patch of earth between us in a blur. Her fingers reaching around my throat in less than a heartbeat and the two of us flying together, slamming into the tree behind us. It was at that moment that chaos truly erupted.

She was strong and she was fast, like any of the newborns Michael and I had diligently trained while we hid away in that rat-infested warehouse. I fought against her vice-like grip on my throat, biding my time until she reacted to the events unfolding behind her. The instant she realized her family was in a battle for their lives behind her, she lost focus and I reacted, curling my legs up to kick her full-force in the stomach. I watched as she bounced against the grassy terrain, immediately pulling herself into a fighting stance as she glared at me.

I scanned the meadow, unable to determine who was winning the battle, but it didn't matter. My prize was right in front of me, ripe for the taking as she flew towards me again. She was second-guessing her movements, torn between her desire to kill me and defending her mate. It was all I needed. I dodged her attack, pin-wheeling over her and grabbing her neck from behind in a stranglehold.

Knowing I would rip her head off with any sudden movement, she fought against me, her snarls and growls dulled by the wind as we flew back towards the tree where Angela was. I knew this human meant something to her and wanted the delight of watching her face as I destroyed yet another person she cared about.

The tears rained down Angela's cheeks as we landed softly at her feet. I glanced back quickly, knowing we only had seconds before another vampire, be it a newborn or Cullen, followed our trail. "Angela, dear, I've brought you a friend!" Reaching up, I grasped Angela's hair, yanking her head back so her neck was exposed. "Bella would you care for a drink?"

I waited for her reaction, her eyes fixated on the pulsing vein in Angela's neck, beckoning her to take a taste.

"You evil bitch!" she snarled as she whirled her arm around and her elbow connected with my jaw, snapping my head back.

Laughing, I tightened my grip on her throat. "And here I was going to share, Bella! Oh well, your loss! You'll just have to watch me drain her!" I leaned in, my nose against Angela's throat, the scent of her blood almost making me lose focus.

"Victoria!" I whirled at the sound of my name, tightening my grip on the prize.

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_**(Edward's POV)**_

Every fear I had ever had regarding Bella's safety came true as we stood in the meadow. I had never wanted Bella to experience this kind of terror again, yet here we were. And although I was overwhelmed with the horror of having her face Victoria, I knew that Bella would never be free of the nightmare unless she witnessed it first hand.

It was all I could do to stand there as Victoria baited her, her vicious remarks like shreds of glass piercing my skin. I closed my eyes for a moment, swallowing the venom and anger that consumed me, knowing Victoria was just hoping I would react and leave Bella to fight against the newborns that I knew surrounded us.

I whispered words of comfort, trying to keep Bella from reacting, but even I was not prepared for the force with which she flew out of my hold and towards Victoria. I screamed for her and moved to follow, only to be blind-sided by one of her army. Jasper had been right in his teaching, although they were strong, they relied solely on that and were fairly easy to defeat. I snapped the neck of the one who had tackled me and threw his head onto the pyre that Emmett had assembled. Dismembering the newborn quickly, I glanced around the field, looking for Bella and also to assess my family's situation.

A flash of red-hair against the far tree-line caught my eye and I moved towards the two figures. Victoria's mind was like a circus, her thoughts flying quickly as she argued with herself silently on how to proceed, all the while taunting Bella with Angela's blood. I flew towards them, knowing that Bella would never forgive herself if she gave in to what Victoria offered.

"Victoria!" Her name flew from my lips and I watched as she turned to face me, only to find myself flying sideways through the air, colliding with a large rock slab to my left. I was unsure what was more shocking, the impact of the collision or the fact that I had been blind-sided. I stood and turned, a sneer coming to my face as I recognized my attacker. He stared back at me in stony silence and I realized all too soon that Bella was no longer the only person mute to me.

"Edward, look out!" I heard Bella scream as Newton moved to run at me again and then switched direction mid-flight. A smile spread across Victoria's face as Newton approached her, erotic images of the two of them together nearly blinding me with disgust as I read her thoughts.

"Michael, you were supposed to wait for us." Victoria tightened her grip on both Bella and Angela as she spoke softly to him. I studied them for a moment, realizing almost immediately that she was not simply using this boy to get to Bella; she had genuine feelings for him.

I glanced quickly at Bella to see if she had noticed the connection between them as well. Her eyes were transfixed on Newton as he stalked towards them, her face etched with anger and frustration. She squirmed in Victoria's grasp, her newborn strength giving Victoria quite a battle, but still not enough to get free.

"Edward, we are almost finished with this mess and will be there to help you shortly." Carlisle's words were loud and clear in my mind as I watched to see what Newton was planning. Any sudden movement from me could cause Victoria to snap Bella or Angela's necks.

"Vic, baby, let them go and let's leave this place." He moved towards her, his hands reaching towards her. "You know we aren't going to get out of this otherwise." She watched him, her eyes shining with affection as the monster within snarled at his approach. I understood her feeling knowing how difficult it was to keep the monster at bay.

Unable to resist the pull of her lover's embrace, Victoria weighed her options and discarded one of her prizes, Angela falling in a heap against the tree she was still partially bound to. Newton moved to her side, his lips meeting hers in a kiss as he ran his hands up into her fiery red hair. In an instant her look of affection turned to horror, a shriek escaping from her lips and then silencing as her head detached from her body and flew towards me.

There was more shrieking now as Angela finally succumbed to everything that was happening, her screams too cut short as Newton's right leg crashed into her abdomen. I heard the shatter of bones with the impact and growled as I rounded to face him.

"Mike, noooo!" Bella screamed as she watched her friend curl into a ball beneath the tree. I rushed towards them as he grabbed Bella, pulling her to him in a twisted embrace. Immediately Bella responded with an attack, twisting and turning, trying to escape his grasp. He snarled as I reached them, turning to face me, his arm wrapped tightly around Bella's throat.

"Back off, Cullen!" He stepped back and away from the tree, dragging Bella with him as she continued to try and free herself. "I'll destroy her before I let you near her again! Bella is mine!"

"She will never be yours!" I snarled back, the venom pooling in my mouth as I fought the monster back. The smell of fresh human blood was strong in the air and my head whipped towards the smell, my eyes falling on Angela's still frame. The aroma was intoxicating, a scarlet pool soaking through the thin shirt she wore.

Loud snarls brought my attention back to Mike and Bella, still tangled together, but the darkness taking over them both as the fragrant aroma of Angela's blood reached them. Knowing how difficult it was for me to be so close, I knew it would be nearly impossible for either of them to resist. Bella would never be able to forgive herself if she gave in to the monster, but how would she ever resist?

In horror, I watched as Bella reached with her one free hand, touching Newton's face, drawing his attention to her and away from Angela. "Take me away, Mike. I don't want to be here anymore." His eyes widened at her request, his embrace tightening

"Bella!" She stared at me as I stood frozen in shock.

"Don't follow us, Edward. I want you to stay away." Her eyes locked with mine for an instant and then they were gone, not even a whisper of movement as they disappeared into the forest behind them. I dropped to my knees, unable to comprehend what had just happened. A soft moan brought me out of my trance and I looked back towards the frail human form.

Moving towards her I fought against my instinct, grabbing her hand in mine. Her fingers were already cool to the touch and I knew she would not last much longer.

"Please forgive me," I whispered as I leaned over her still frame, my jaws tightening as I bit into her neck.

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_**End of chapter –please don't kill me!**_


	35. Chapter 35

_**A/N – Well I am glad to report that I survived – even with all the threats if I didn't update soon – LMAO! Glad y'all enjoyed the last chapter and hope that I haven't stressed you out too much!**_

_**Thanks to my doll beta, changedbyEdward, for returning this chap to me so early so I could stop the death threats – although she has made it quite clear to me that she feels they may be far from over! LOL**_

_**Stephenie Meyer is the sole proprietor of the Twilight world and I am just happy to be playing in it! Six more days...WOOHOO!**_

_**Chapter 35**_

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_**(Carlisle's POV)**_

So many lives lost. And for what reason? Hatred? Revenge? Disgusted, I shook my head as I glanced around the meadow, grateful that my family had survived the day's events, yet bitter that we were in this place at all.

The pyre still burned at full force as Jasper, Rose and Emmett piled the final few remains of the newborn army on the fire. I watched the lavender smoke trail up into the dimming sky and replayed the events of the day in my mind.

Victoria had been clever, knowing exactly how to taunt Bella into reacting. I cringed as I remembered her words, knowing how they must have hurt Edward; re-opening barely healed wounds. Her twisted mind had taken something sacred and mutilated it into a vicious exaggeration. There was no denying the bond between a vampire and his or her sire, but it was not what she had insinuated. I only hoped that Edward would see her comments for what they were – vicious barbs meant to provoke.

We had no chance to follow Bella as she reacted; the newborns had been on us far too quickly. I will be eternally grateful to Jasper for all the training and preparation; I fear without that we may have suffered much loss.

Yet we had suffered loss. Bella was missing. I stared off into the forest, haunted by the vision of Bella running off with Mike. The devastation on my son's face had been heart wrenching, yet he had managed to pull himself together enough to save Angela. Edward had given her a new life, albeit not the one we had hoped she would live, but she would see another day. I knew that Edward was strong. I had witnessed his restraint when he saved Bella's life in Phoenix that day. However, I have never been more proud than after watching him today. His heart breaking, he still had taken care of another before himself and that for a vampire is unheard of. When I had reached them at the tree, he had already bitten Angela in each of her wrists, her ankles and her neck, sealing each of the bites with his venom.

He had held her close to his body as she began to convulse, the burn already beginning as his venom surged through her system, healing her internal wounds before her transformation could begin. Esme and Alice had stepped in then, taking her from his embrace and running towards our home to make her as comfortable as possible for what she had already began to suffer.

"We're done here, Carlisle." I nodded as Jasper threw the final body onto the pyre. Victoria. I watched as the last remnants of our nightmare turned to ash before my eyes. I had thought that Edward would at least want to be the one to see her remains burn, but he had not moved from the tree where I had found him with Angela earlier.

"Jasper, why don't you, Emmett and Rosalie go ahead back to the house. Perhaps Alice has seen something that will give us a lead on Bella's whereabouts. Edward and I will follow once the fire has burned away." I watched as the three of them disappeared into the trees.

"We will find her, Edward." I played that thought over and over in my mind as I watched the last few embers die away. Content that the fire was out, I made my way over to where he sat, his body like a stone. I sat beside him quietly, waiting for some reaction, but there was nothing.

"You know that she only left to save Angela's life." Not expecting an answer, I was startled when he finally spoke.

"I know," he responded; his voice morose. "Her words, Carlisle. It was what I told her that day in the forest. I realize now how much I must have hurt her."

"What do you mean?" I was unsure what he was thinking. _If he knows why she left, what is upsetting him so? _

"She told me she didn't want me. That I wasn't good for her. How much could I have hurt her if she carried those memories through the burn? How do I ever make it up to her? What if I don't get the chance?" He stood suddenly, smashing his fist against the trunk of the oak he had been leaning against. The impact was enough to knock the tree into one behind it, dirt flying everywhere.

"Edward, you did hurt her. There is no denying that. But I also know that the two of you were working past it. I'm sorry she still carries that hurt with her as well, but I believe that Bella had her reasons for saying those words to you. But standing here, worrying about what is in the past is not going to find her now."

His eyes met mine instantly. "How do I even begin? I can't hear either one of them? I feel so useless. Blind."

"We _will_ find them, Edward. You are not alone in this. Alice can't see Mike, but she can see Bella."

"Why can't Alice see Mike? Why can't I hear him?" His frustration was obvious and it aggravated me that I was unable to give him the answers he so needed.

"That I don't know. It certainly gives him strengths that many of our kind would be interested in, but we can't worry about it now. All we can do is use what we have and find Bella quickly. We also have Angela to take care of now."

"I know." Edward stood and moved towards the direction of home. "I couldn't let her go, Carlisle. Bella loved her too much and I just couldn't let her lose her life to that monster."

"Edward, am I hearing you correctly? It would almost seem that you believed this existence is a way of life and not eternal damnation." I fought to keep a small smile in check.

His jaw set, he glanced back at me before entering the forest leading home. "I believe the jury is still out on that, Carlisle."

Nodding in acceptance, I moved to join him. He may not have given me the exact answer I had wanted, but I had hope that my son would eventually find his way to true happiness in this life. Rescuing Bella was the key to that.

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_**(Bella's POV)**_

The minute I smelled it, I inhaled deeply and held my breath, the sweet cinnamon fragrance burning as it mixed with the venom in my throat. I knew I wouldn't have long, only moments before Mike lost control. I had to sway his thoughts away from Angela – no matter what the cost.

At first I wasn't sure it had been enough, my hand pressed against his cheek as I told him in as few words as possible that I wanted to run away with him. He had stared at me for a few moments and I saw the hope and belief in his eyes and prayed that it would be enough to make him leave with me immediately. But I had another matter to deal with first.

My eyes locked with Edward's and I saw first hand the hurt I had inflicted. And I wasn't done. I had to be sure that Mike believed me and the only way would be to aim directly for Edward's heart. I only hoped he would understand what I was truly saying to him and realize that it was the biggest lie I had ever told.

"Don't follow us, Edward. I want you to stay away. I don't want to be with you. You aren't good for me." Each sentence was like a shard of glass piercing his skin. All I wanted to do was run to him, but I couldn't. I looked up at Mike, plastering what I hoped was a believable smile on my face. With the last of the oxygen in my lungs, I whispered, "Take me away."

Mike buried his face into my neck as he hugged me tightly to him and then we ran for the trees. For a while, he continued to hold me to him as he simply ran. With each step he took, I felt my stone cold heart break a little more, but knew that I was going to have to put on the best acting job I could until I had Mike's complete trust.

I felt him slow to a jog, his body gliding across the landscape effortlessly. "Bella, let's stop here for a bit." He sat me on a large stone, crawling onto it beside me.

I stared off into the distance, ignoring my surroundings at first. His marble fingers grazed with mine and I sensed him watching me. Swallowing back the pain, I looked at him, a tentative smile on my lips. "Thank you."

A grin lit up his face and for a moment I was taken back to Forks High, before all this happened. He was just a boy and I was just a girl, meeting for the first time on a basketball court. Although I wouldn't trade Edward for anything, a part of me longed for that simple time.

His hand squeezed mine. "I knew it, Bella. I knew that once you saw me as Edward's equal, you would choose me." He brought my hand to his lips, his eyes staring into mine as I fought to keep myself calm. He had to believe me. Had to believe that I was committed to him at least until I could find a way to reason with him.

"What now, Mike? Where do you want to go? What will we do?" I hoped he would at least give me some clues so that I could come up with a plan.

"That's what's so great, Bella! We can do whatever we want! No one to answer to, no rules to follow! We will take whatever we need. No one can stop us!"

With each comment I became a little more afraid. I remembered Edward's words, that Mike had been sired by Victoria and thus had learned her ways. What if he decided to hunt before I got away? I would never be able to resist human blood if I were that close to it. I couldn't allow myself to become that monster again. "Mike, I have one condition to going away with you," I began.

His eyes darkened a bit as his grip tightened. "You said you wanted to be with me."

"I do. I really do. But Mike," I brought my hand to his cheek again, hoping to calm him, "I won't take a human's life. I need to be able to hunt wildlife. Wherever we go and whatever we do, I need to know that I won't be forced to do something I don't believe in."

He stared at me for a moment, incredulous. "But Bella, do you even know what you're missing? It can be so much better, Bella. This is what we're meant to do, meant to be!" He reached up, taking my hands in his. "You don't have to be good, Bella. I don't want you to follow any rules. I just want you to be happy."

"But Mike, I can't be happy knowing I'm taking someone else's life to survive. Please don't make me into more of a monster than I already am." I wished for the tears I could not cry.

"It's ok, Bella. We don't have to talk about this now. You'll see how happy we are going to be together and I promise, you won't regret it once you get used to the idea."

Pulling me into an embrace, I felt his hands running against my back and I fought the revulsion. I patted his back and pulled away, finally taking notice of my surroundings. "Why did you bring us here?" My eyes scanned the landscape, taking in each tree, each flower.

"Because it's special to you." Mike turned and looked around the meadow. "Victoria wanted to bring you here to kill you. She said it was your favourite place."

I swallowed, venom rising along with my panic. "She told you that?" She hadn't wanted to bring me here because it was my favourite place. It was for one reason, and one reason alone – to make Edward suffer. Not only would she have destroyed his mate, but in a spot that was sacred to both of us.

Mike nodded. "I would never have let her, Bella. I only went along with her plans so I could get to you. You have to believe me!" His hands gripped my shoulders tightly and I stared up into his face, his eyes dark and foreboding. "I love you. We were meant to be." His face moved closer to mine. "Tell me you love me too!" His hold on me tightened even more.

"Mike," I began, only to be cut off by a sharp growl from behind me. Turning towards the sound, I was overcome by a familiar and overpowering stench. Things had just gone from bad to worse as I stared into the dark eyes of a giant russet wolf.

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_**End of chapter – oops! Another cliffy! Sorry – LOL!**_


	36. Chapter 36

_**A/N – Over 1000 reviews! OMG! Thank you guys so much for all your support of this story! I never dreamed I would reach 1000 so it means sooo much!**_

_**changedbyEdward, my rockin' beta, has been working overtime to get my chaps prettied up for y'all – a round of applause for her please!**_

_**So just over 24 hours to go…everyone excited? I am bouncing off the walls…..hope this chap helps pass a bit of the time until then! **_

_**Chapter 36**_

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_**(Esme's POV)**_

We travelled the distance between the battlefield and our home as swiftly as possible. Alice was out front in case any newborns might be waiting to ambush and I was in the rear, Angela held close to my chest.

The girl was in a tremendous amount of pain already and I hugged her as close as possible to me, hoping my body temperature would at least give her a little relief. Alice glanced back and gave me a tentative smile when we reached the home stretch. I followed her lead as we dashed in through the side door and up the stairs to a guest room, laying Angela against the burgundy coverlet.

Her screams had quieted to loud moans and I settled onto the bed beside her, trying once again to offer some comfort from the burn. Alice returned from a short run to the kitchen, carrying a large bowl of ice water with cloths and we began the task of wiping her exposed skin down with the cool liquid, hoping to take away some of the pain.

It was quite obvious that she had been kept locked up in filth as we gently wiped away the grime from her skin. The venom was working its dark magic as it coursed through her body; Angela's many cuts and abrasions mostly healed over and fading. It didn't stop the hiss from Alice's lips as she took in the many scars that covered her former classmate's delicate frame. We worked quickly in silence, cutting away the clothing that had basically become rags and dressing her in a loose fitting t-shirt and shorts.

"Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie are on their way back." Alice spoke rapidly in a hushed, sombre tone.

"What about Carlisle and Edward?" I tried not to let my worry show through in my voice.

"They're staying behind until the fire is out." Alice continued to run the cool cloth against Angela's cheeks and forehead while she spoke. "They won't be too long, Esme."

"I can't imagine what Edward is going through. We have to find her, Alice. I don't want to think of what could happen if we don't." I settled onto the bed beside Angela. I would not leave the child until she awoke. I only hoped that she sensed she was not alone and in the hands of those monsters any longer. I sat quietly while Alice spoke softly to Angela, telling her that she was among friends and that she had nothing to fear. She spoke of memories of good times Bella, Angela and she had shared before Edward made us leave; carefully avoiding any mention of the friend who had turned on her.

Rose, Jasper and Emmett appeared at the doorway a short while later to check on Angela and to see if Alice had seen anything. Knowing there was still a long while before Angela could be a possible threat; the two couples retreated downstairs, hoping Alice would be able to get a glimpse of where Mike had possibly taken Bella.

Angela's moans grew louder and I watched sadly as she clawed at her already hardened skin. I moved closer to her on the bed, wrapping my arm around her, hoping it would give her some comfort. I really didn't know if it would make a difference; recalling the horrors of my own burn when I transitioned from my previous life to this one. No matter how much time passed, it seemed that was one thing none of us could ever forget, even though we all tried. Perhaps that was the payment required for eternal life.

At first all I had felt was the agonizing pain. Everything in my mind was amplified; replaying the loss of my infant son over and over while the flames grew closer and closer until I felt as if they would consume me. The burn seemed to go on forever, every particle of my body engulfed in an ocean of scorching lava. Then when I thought I could last no longer, I heard a voice in my head that was hauntingly familiar and soothing. That voice became my entire focus, mesmerising me as it called out to me tenderly. The memories that had been so clear only a short while earlier began to dull, even though the fires around me continued to rage. I know now that it was my beloved's voice speaking to me, reading to me, singing to me, but at that moment I believed it was an angel from heaven.

With that memory in mind, I began to speak softly to Angela, hoping my voice would offer her some kind of comfort since she now travelled that same path. I spoke of things we would show her and the future before her and when that became too much, I recited poetry and sang soft lullabies while I rocked her in my arms. I had gained yet another daughter and though she had lost so much this day, she would never suffer or be tortured again. I would protect her with everything in me.

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_**(Jasper's POV)**_

We sat quietly in the library, Alice deep in concentration. Her back pressed against my chest, I held her tightly to me, sending her calming thoughts as she searched wildly for any sign of Bella.

Emmett and Rosalie had disappeared shortly after Carlisle and Edward returned, grabbing some time together before we would have to leave again. The battle against the newborns had been difficult and we all knew how lucky we were to still have our partners intact. I flinched at the thought and looked back towards the bookshelves where Edward sat hunched over, his head gripped tightly in his hands. "I'm sorry, Edward."

He raised his head and barely nodded, his eyes tormented. I hadn't needed to see them to know how he was feeling. His fears for Bella were barrelling close to unbearable for me and I hoped Alice would see something sooner rather than later.

Carlisle and Esme were sitting with Angela, watching over her carefully while she suffered through the burn. I smiled as I felt the love that Esme already was projecting for this newborn and I was once again amazed at how compassionate she truly was. A devoted lioness was the perfect description as I thought of how she had fought along side of us that afternoon – protecting her family. The heart of a lion in the truest sense.

Yanked out of my thoughts, I growled at Edward when he grabbed Alice's hands roughly. "Are you sure, Alice?" His voice was begging for confirmation.

She squeezed his hands back, letting go as she leaned back against me again. My hands immediately went to her shoulders, rubbing them gently while she spoke. "She's alright Edward, that much I can see. I just can't seem to get enough detail to tell you exactly where they are."

"I know where they are." His shoulders shook with anger. "He has taken her to our meadow."

"Are you sure, Edward?" I asked quietly, watching for any sudden movement from him. There was no way he was heading off on this rescue mission alone.

"Yes! I have to go!" He moved quickly, but Alice had hold of him.

"Wait!"

"Alice, let go of me. I have to get to Bella!" He fought to free himself, but I threw as much calm at him as I could, momentarily subduing him.

"Listen to what Alice has to say!" Carlisle begged as he came through the doorway.

"I can't even tell you when this is happening, Edward! They could be there moments from now or days! You have to give me the chance to see more. Bella keeps changing her mind on what to do and the images are obscure at best."

"I can't stay here and do nothing!" Edward screamed as he dropped to the couch behind him, his head in his hands again, pulling through his hair at a furious pace.

"Listen to me, Edward," Alice squeezed my hand lovingly as I continued, "Newton has feelings for Bella. He's obsessed with her. He is not going to hurt her when he feels that way. If you rush into this too soon or from the wrong angle, he may do anything to keep her from you, and that is not what you want. As long as Bella keeps him believing that she wants to be with him, she will remain safe and that will give us time enough to develop a plan to rescue her."

"Jasper is right, Edward. We can't go into this without a fool-proof plan." Carlisle turned to Alice. "Do you see anyone else with them, Alice? Is there a chance that some of the newborns didn't fight us and followed them?"

"No, all I see is Bella. I can't even see Mike." Alice's frustration was obvious. "What the hell is he, Carlisle? It doesn't make any sense. Edward could read his mind when he was a human and I saw him in Bella's future then."

Edward hissed and I sent another wave of calm his way.

"I didn't mean it that way, Edward."

He looked up at her then. "Did you ever see him as a vampire?"

"No. But that really doesn't explain anything – it may simply have been because Victoria hadn't made the decision to change him," Alice paused, "Carlisle, Mike's gift seems similar to the way the wolves block my visions. Is there a possibility that he carries the Quileute gene? Perhaps a distant relative of the tribe?"

I felt the pride from Carlisle as he stared at Alice and I smiled, even though it wasn't really the time for it. Alice spent so much of her time wrapped up in fashion and design that Carlisle sometimes 'forgot' how perceptive she truly was.

"That's a definite possibility, Alice, although I wouldn't be sure unless I was able to get a sample of his DNA."

"I would be quite happy to supply you with one," Edward growled.

It hit me then. Edward's head snapped up as he listened to my thoughts; I could see in his eyes how part of him wanted to give it a try, yet another part of him feared for the worst.

"It might work, Edward," I whispered.

Carlisle and Alice both stared at us, waiting to be clued in.

"I think we should call Jacob. We tell him that Bella was taken from us and turned. That we have been searching for her and finally tracked her and that if they can help us rescue her, we can still save her."

Carlisle looked from me to Edward, then Alice. "What if they don't believe us? We could lose her if they are unwilling to allow us the opportunity to teach her the lifestyle."

"I can't see anything. I see us making the decision, but I can't see anything past it. I can't see Jacob and the tribe's decision. If we do this, we are going in completely blind." Alice spoke softly, torn on how to continue.

Edward stood, moving to the window. He stared out into the garden and I felt the wave of emotions travel through him - anger, anxiety, frustration, and finally a glimmer of hope.

Turning to face us, I knew his decision was made. "Carlisle, I think you should be the one to call Jacob. You are the only one he is likely to believe. You can tell him that we will go to Forks and meet him in the meadow, but that he has the lead on this. I have to believe that his affection for Bella will stop him from taking her life."

Carlisle nodded hesitantly. "I tend to agree, Edward, but we all need to be of the same mind on this. If they somehow find out that we're lying, it will mean the end of the treaty. They will destroy us all."

"If I'm willing to take that chance for Bella, then everyone should be." Rose's words echoed around the room as she and Emmett entered. "But what about Angela?"

"Esme will remain here with her. If this works, we will get Bella and go with our initial plan to head to Europe until things quiet down. If no one says anything, they will most likely assume that she was killed and her body disposed of. Are we in agreement?"

I watched as the rest of the family gave their approval. The emotions in the room were overwhelming and I grabbed Alice's hand pulling her towards the door. Understanding my movement she put her arm through mine and we headed out into the night air, escaping the claustrophobic ambience of the room. I glanced back at Edward and nodded as I shut the door, his silent appreciation filtering through to me as Carlisle picked up the phone. I only hoped that my plan held up to deserve his gratitude and that I wasn't handing Bella over to an even worse fate.

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_**End of chapter – reviews? I am not above begging…LOL**_


	37. Chapter 37

_**A/N - ok…hoping this chap answers some of the questions some of you had regarding Jake... sorry for the confusion! LOL**_

_**Many thanks and much love to my beta, changedbyEdward.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight – no copyright infringement intended. One last thing…David Slade is a GENIUS!**_

_**Chapter 37**_

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_**(Jacob's POV)**_

The words sickened me as I replayed them in my mind so the rest of the pack would know the sordid details of my phone conversation with Carlisle. I couldn't believe that Bells was now one of them. It broke my heart to know I would never again see that soft blush colour her cheeks whenever I joked with her. I knew that it had been a mistake for Charlie to allow her to go and live with the Cullens, but how was I to argue? Carlisle had promised to keep her safe, but obviously they had failed and now Bella was paying the price.

I listened intently to Sam calling everyone to order. I had taken off ahead to where the gypsy vamp had said she thought Newton had taken Bells. I wanted to get there first; wanted to be the one to destroy him for taking Bella's humanity from her.

"Jacob, wait for us before you attack." Sam's alpha order came through loud and clear. Just because I couldn't ignore his request didn't mean I had to like it. I growled in response and continued towards the clearing. Their scent was in the air and my stomach churned when I realized that Bella now had this putrid stench stuck with her for eternity as well. How would I ever be able to stand being near her again?

I approached the opening in the trees, and heard them before they actually came into view. Emerging from the forest, I watched them carefully as I crept forward, stunned by the vision before me. The sun was directly over the meadow and I watched it reflect off their skin, tiny crystals flashing everywhere.

My eyes adjusted and I moved soundlessly towards them; biting back the growl when I saw how tightly Newton had Bella in his grasp. Words flew between them and I could see that he was agitated. The snarl escaped from my chest and Bella's shocked scarlet eyes met mine.

Newton's reaction was immediate; shoving Bella behind him and turning to face me. He sneered in response as he back-stepped, forcing Bella to do so as well. I took a step forward with each step they moved back, ignoring the voices of my pack members as they rushed to join me. "Jacob, stand down!" Sam's voice overpowered the rest and I fought against the alpha order; terrified that if I obeyed, Bella would be gone. I knew the pack was still at least five minutes out, far too much time for them to be able to run.

I growled again, holding my ground but not moving forward. I could feel Bella's eyes on me, but I kept my vision locked with Newton's; sensing he was looking for any opportunity to attack and run. A flash in the trees caught my eye and Bella's shrill scream came a moment too late. Newton flew at me, his iron grip catching my shoulders and flinging me hard to the ground.

"Jacob, no!" I heard the worry in Bella's voice when Newton came in for the kill; his jaws snapping at me as I rolled away from his attack. My left paw was broken, it had shattered on impact and I knew that if my brothers didn't get there shortly, I would be in serious trouble.

Newton rushed towards me again and I prepared for the inevitable; my eyes searching for Bella one last time only to see her running towards my attacker. I watched as she tackled him, a sickening pride filling my being when her jaws locked onto his neck and she snarled. Bella was strong but he was stronger, shoving her off of him as his eyes blackened in anger. I saw the flash again, and watched Edward Cullen appear from out of nowhere. He caught Newton in a death-hold, their bodies flipping across the field while each one fought for dominance.

Two of the other Cullen vamps, the big one and the scarred one, stood watching from the edge of the meadow; neither of them in any rush to go to Edward's aid. The gypsy was holding Bella back, trying to keep her safe; but finally relenting and releasing her grasp.

I watched Bella fly towards the blur, launching herself onto Newton's back and grasping his head in her hands while he pummelled Edward. I heard the quick snap when his head left the rest of his body and watched the two sideliners jump into action; building a fire and tossing the head into the flames. My eyes moved back to Bella and I was in awe of my friend as she threw the mangled remains of Newton's body onto the pyre and then ran into Edward's arms.

I looked away, grateful to still be alive, but devastated that the Bella I knew and loved was lost to me. There was a flurry of movement when the rest of my pack came through the trees; I glanced up to see the Cullens all standing together, Bella in their midst.

I limped towards Sam, begging for him to make sure that no one attacked. I knew that he had ordered the pack to stay back, but was not confident that there wouldn't be some argument from the younger ones. Crawling into the trees, I changed quickly, wanting to speak with Bella one last time.

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_**(Bella's POV)**_

I knew that Jacob didn't stand a chance against Mike; he was too strong, too fast. I heard the snap of a bone breaking when he landed and had no doubt that Mike had heard it as well. Glancing over at my captor, I saw the gleam of murder in his eyes and knew that I had to move quickly if Jake was to survive.

Soaring threw the air; I landed on Mike's back just as he attacked again. I wasn't sure I could defeat him, but I hoped it would give Jacob enough time to run or for the rest of his pack to show up if they were close enough. I felt Mike tense beneath my stranglehold and his strength astounded me when he tossed me across the clearing, snapping and snarling at my obvious betrayal. Any hope I had of convincing him that I wanted to be with him had now flown out the window.

I sensed him before I saw him, my body so in tune with my mate. I watched Edward emerge from the trees, attacking Mike with a strong hit from the side.

"Stay with me, Bella," I heard Alice whisper softly when I moved to follow Edward and Mike's death dance across the field.

"Alice, please!" I begged her to let me go, knowing that Mike's newborn strength was a serious detriment. She hesitated only for a second; knowing I was right, but still wanting to give Edward the opportunity to get his licks in.

As soon as I felt her release her hold, I threw myself after them; getting to Edward was the only thought I had. Landing on Mike's back, my hands grasped the sides of his head and twisted. I felt the snap of his neck and knew I had succeeded; his eyes locking with mine as his lips whispered my name one last time.

I heard Emmett call to me and I tossed Mike's head to him; then tossed the rest of his mangled body to Jasper to dismember and burn. Everything else slipped away as I felt Edward's arms cocoon around me and his lips on mine. Nothing else mattered at that moment. We were together. We were safe.

I pulled away, clasping his face in my hands and covering it with tiny kisses. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Please tell me you know that." I had re-lived my final words to him every moment we had been separated.

"I know, Bella – I know." He pulled me tight into his embrace again. "I was so afraid that I had lost you again."

"Jacob." I turned in Edward's arms and watched him disappear into the trees. The rest of the pack was congregated at the edge of the clearing and I realized our problems were far from over.

"He wants to talk to you, Bella – he'll be back in a moment." Edward's lips moved across my forehead and then down to my ear; speaking softly. I sighed in his arms and he chuckled. "They have been told that Victoria changed you." He whispered so low that only I could hear. "We have told them that you will join us and follow our lifestyle."

I nodded and snuggled closer in his embrace, hoping that it would be enough to keep the treaty intact. "What about Angela?"

"Later." Edward ended our conversation abruptly when Jacob emerged from the trees.

I watched him move towards me, his disdain for Edward obvious, even though he had in reality saved Jacob's life. I felt Edward resist as I pulled away from our embrace, but he relented when I looked up at him and smiled; I needed to do this alone.

I moved towards the center of the field where Jacob stood and smiled tentatively. I saw that the rest of the pack remained at the edge of the field, a few growls rumbling, but otherwise in control. Sam had also changed to human form and stood a few feet behind Jacob; I nodded to him also.

"Hey Jake." I greeted him as if nothing had changed or at least how I thought I would have done. The look that washed across his face told me I had it all wrong. "What?"

"You sound like Tinkerbelle over there." He motioned towards Alice who was standing with the rest of the family. She rolled her eyes and I smiled, turning back to face him.

"So, you're a werewolf," I started.

"So, you're a vampire," he retorted.

"Where does that leave us, Jake? I don't want to lose your friendship, but I know it changes things."

He looked at the ground, kicking a stone with his shoe. I waited for his answer, unsure if I really wanted to hear it.

"Vampires and werewolves generally don't mix, Bells." He looked at me carefully. "But I can't hate you, Bella. It isn't your fault how things turned out, right?"

I swallowed, not needing to physically, but I knew he was looking for me to slip up. He was really asking me how it had happened, and my family's very existence depended on this one moment.

I stared into his eyes, praying that he would accept what I had to say. "No Jake, it isn't my fault. Things happen. Fate steps in and takes control but when it all comes down to it, I really believe things end up the way they are meant to." I glanced back towards Edward briefly, and then continued. "There are a lot of things I would like to change, but you know that this was how it was meant to be."

"Meaning what, Bells? Meaning that you were supposed to be a bloodsucker?" I saw the anger in his eyes.

"No Jake, not that. Although it happened, so there must be a reason for it."

His jaw set, the anger subsided, but the resentment still loomed in his eyes. "So you mean what was meant to be was you and …him." He glared at Edward then turned back to me. "You still love him, even after all he did to you."

"Yes, Jake." I responded, answering both questions at once. I took a step towards him and heard a couple of snarls from behind him. "Oh for God sake, I am not going to hurt him!"

Jake grinned. "Like you could!"

And there he was. Jake, my old friend. "Don't push me, Jake. You know I could kick your ass all over this meadow." I heard Emmett snicker behind me.

"Will I see you again, Bells? What happens now?"

Carlisle appeared by my side, nodding to both Jacob and Sam in greeting. "We feel it would be best that our family leave the area for a time. We'll head to our home in Scotland and give Bella a chance to adjust to the lifestyle and then we'll decide from there." Sam nodded as Carlisle continued. "We would like to return to Forks someday, Sam. May we do so?"

I watched while Sam and Jake spoke quietly together. I felt Carlisle's hand on my lower back and looked up to see him smiling back. "I'm glad you are safe, Bella."

I grinned back. "You should know by now that you can't get rid of me that easily!" Our attention was brought back to the topic at hand when Sam stepped back from Jacob's side.

"Carlisle, the treaty remains intact. Your family may return here, but we would like for you to let us know if you plan to do so."

"That's only fair, Sam. I am sure that Bella and Jacob will keep in touch, so she will relay any plans we have that may be of concern to the tribe. I thank you for your faith in us." Carlisle turned towards me. "Bella, we will see you back at the house."

I watched Carlisle and the rest of the family retreat, Edward remaining as he patiently waited for me. "Thank you, Sam. Jake, I will keep in touch, I promise."

Jake moved towards me and pulled me into a quick hug. "I just want you to be happy, Bells. That's all I ever wanted." He pulled away, screwing up his face. "God, you reek!"

"No more than you, Pooch!" I responded, smiling as I stepped away. "I think you need a bath!"

"Hey, Cullen!" Jacob looked towards Edward, their conversation silent while Jake conveyed his thoughts.

Edward's jaw tightened briefly then he nodded. "I will Jake. I promise."

I looked at him questioningly as I approached him. Taking his hand, I turned back and waved goodbye to Jake and Sam; watching until they and the rest of the pack had disappeared into the trees. "What did he say to you?"

He pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed it gently. "He told me not to screw up again or he would hunt me down and tear me limb from limb and bury each of the pieces."

"Lovely," I laughed as we began our trek back to our waiting family.

"He also told me to make sure that I took care of you for eternity." He stopped, pulling me into a hug, his lips pressing against my forehead. "I want that, Bella. I want to take care of you and love you for all eternity. Will you let me? Will you marry me, Bella?"

I stared into his golden orbs, so full of emotion and felt the last piece of anxiety of the last year fall away. So much sadness – so much pain. Yet it all became a distant memory as I placed my hands in his and offered the answer I knew at that moment I was able to give without hesitation.

"Yes."

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_**End of chapter – not begging anymore, but y'all have rocked with your support so far!**_


	38. Chapter 38

_**A/N - Your continued enthusiasm for this story is wonderful - thank you all for your comments - they are so very appreciated. Much love to you all!**_

**_Mucho hugs and kisses to my beta-extraordinaire, changedbyEdward - luv ya bb!_**

**_Steph Meyer owns it all - except for Chloe...she is mine :) No copyright infringement intended. _**

**_Someone pointed out to me not too long ago that I hadn't stuck to the book on how Bella met Mike - I had used the movie version. I am sure there has been more than one occasion where I switched things up, but this was the first time I was asked about it. When I started ADKOM, I decided that I would just write - not trying to stick more to one or the other and see what came out. I have watched the movies countless times (Eclipse is up to 5 as this publishes...LOL) and read the books over and over as well - obviously it is going to jumble together somewhat so I figured I would just write whatever stuck out to me - as long as I remained true to the characters, I would be happy with it. Some will like it, some will not but that is the wonderful thing about fanfic - it is your chance to make the story how you want it! :)_**

_**Chapter 38**_

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_**(Angela's POV)**_

I remember the snap of bone and silenced laughter when Victoria's head came away from her shoulders. I remember the crazed look of obsession in Mike's expression as he stared at Bella. Bella. I remember the sheer terror I felt; witnessing the look of frenzied hunger on my best friend's face. Her sparkling, red-eyed face. The face of a monster.

I remember the immediate agony I felt when Mike's foot made contact with my abdomen. The sound of bones shattering and the screams that must have been my own. Then darkness. I waited for death to find me; to release me; as my extremities began to numb. It shouldn't have been long until my system succumbed to the injuries. It should have happened swiftly.

But then the burn began. I thrashed against the ground where I lay, praying that someone would douse the flames that seared my skin, but it was as if I were invisible. Delirium set in as colours flashed past my eyes in a blur, but nothing relieved the agony of the fire within.

I wondered if perhaps I had been taken for medical treatment and that this was my dying body rebelling against modern medicine. The thought was a fleeting one. No physician would force this kind of pain on anyone.

I opened my mouth, trying to force myself to communicate; to beg them to simply let me go. But it was as if my vocal chords were paralyzed; charred beyond repair.

Soft whispers floated around me and I felt the lightest of touches brush against my scorched body. I couldn't make out the words, but believed they were meant to soothe. Perhaps God had finally taken pity on me, sending angels to finally bring me home.

But the fire continued to rage on. My mind attempted to add to my torture. Visions of the previous days of captivity plagued my memory like a sick horror film on repeat. The only sounds overpowering the roar of the flames were Victoria's manic laughter and the snapping of bones when Mike murdered the old farmer right before my eyes. With one last rallying effort, I forbade myself to allow this nightmare to be the final memories of my life on earth.

I thought of my family – my parents – God-fearing people that had committed their lives to teaching His lessons and helping those less fortunate. They truly had been an inspiration and I prayed that God would be merciful and help them through the pain of losing a child. I thought of my younger sister, Chloe, who dreamed of escaping the dreary, rainy days of Forks for the sunshine and glitter of Hollywood; following her dreams of stardom. I had no doubt that she would be successful at anything she aspired to be. She was everything I wasn't – outgoing, daring, vivacious. I envied her, but loved her so.

Finally, I thought of Ben. Loving, gentle Ben. The boy I would have followed anywhere if he would have let me. His dark eyes and shy smile mirrored the deep soul I had only begun to know and love. Our time together had been so short, yet I knew in my heart that we would have lasted. I pictured our future together – graduation, college, marriage and perhaps one day a family. I mourned the loss of what might have and prayed that someday he would move on and find another to share his life with.

I immersed myself in the memories of my short life with these people, closing off my mind from the scorching blaze I continued to endure. Although the pain was still excruciating, I felt peace as I held them close to my heart. I only hoped that my memories would last long enough to carry me through to then end, wherever it chose to lead me.

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_**(Edward's POV)**_

I stared at her in wonder, unable to believe that she really had said the one word I had longed to hear. But she really had, she had said yes. Bella had agreed to become my wife.

She smiled up at me, squeezing my hand affectionately and finally stretching up on her toes like a ballerina to join her lips with mine. My hands cupped her face and I pressed gentle kisses to her forehead, her eyelids, her nose and finally once again meeting her mouth with mine; her arms encircled my waist in a loving embrace.

"I love you with all that I am, Bella." I whispered when we parted.

"And I love you, Edward. I have from the first moment I saw you and have never stopped." We stood in silence, basking in each other's declaration, her cheek pressed against my chest as she laced her fingers with mine.

While I longed to remain there in the silence of the forest - our fears finally at rest; I knew we were eagerly awaited at the house. As if reading my thoughts, Bella pulled away and began the trek back to our home in Seattle. We walked for a bit in contented silence; our hands never parting.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

"I need you to tell me about Angela." I knew the question had been coming, but truthfully, I had been avoiding the conversation, unsure how to begin, or how Bella would react.

"Bella," I began, noting the fear already building in her expression, "Angela's injuries from Mike's attack were fatal, love. She was bleeding both internally and externally – there was nothing that could have been done for her medically…"

"Noo! Please tell me she's not gone!" Her tearless sobs tore at my entire being and I pulled her to me, hugging her close while she shuddered in my arms. "Not Angela!"

"Shh love, Bella, please, shh," I soothed; pressing my lips against the top of her head. "Bella, listen to me. She isn't gone. She is with Alice and Esme back at the house."

"But," I watched as her eyes met mine, the realization of what had happened dawning on her immediately. "Angela is a vampire?" Her tone was hushed.

"I couldn't let her die that way, Bella. I knew you would never be able to accept what had happened…"

She whirled away from me, her eyes dark with emotion. "Wait! You **_changed_** her? You changed Angela! **_For_** me?"

I stood staring at her in silence, unsure of what to say or do as I tried to gauge her reaction. I stepped towards her slowly, my hands raised in the air. "Bella…"

"Don't Edward! Just don't!" I watched her tear away from me, her long hair flying behind her as she raced off in the general direction of the house.

Dumbfounded, I stood gaping after her, only pulled out of my stupor by the ringing of my cell phone. Answering it, I remained speechless, slamming it shut and taking off after hearing Alice's shrill, "Don't just stand there, you dumb ox. **GO AFTER HER!**"

Flying through the trees, I silently cursed myself, realizing how wrong I had been. I was so wrapped up in my self-defamation I almost missed seeing Bella, sitting on a tree trunk, waiting for me.

Slowing to a stop, I stood at the edge of the small clearing, waiting for her cue. The look of devastation on her face was heartbreaking and I silently cursed myself for once again causing her such pain.

"Why, Edward?" Her voice soft, hurt.

"She would have died, Bella…" I didn't get a chance to finish.

"No! Why? Why her and not me?" The anguish and hurt in her voice, her entire being, shook me to the core. "I would have given anything for it to have been you. I begged you…" Her eyes met mine, glossed burgundy orbs, heavy with regret.

"Bella," I moved closer wanting to reach for her but afraid to, "my love, if I had it all to do over, I would. I would give you anything you wanted. I was on my way back to you to beg your forgiveness and ask you if it was what you still wished for."

"You were? How can I believe you, Edward? After so adamantly refusing for so long on that issue, what made you change your mind?"

"The realization that I was lost without you, Bella. You were everywhere, love – every thought, every wish, every fantasy and finally every delusion. I was on my way back to you because I physically couldn't stay away any longer. I needed to know if you could forgive me for being so, so stupid. If you could still possibly love me after what I did, what I said. And then…"

"Carlisle had already done it."

"Yes." I swallowed, the venom thick in my throat. "And as angry as I was at him for changing you, Bella, I know now that I was angrier at myself for not being strong enough to do it myself. For not giving you the one thing you asked for."

"I still don't understand about Angela. Why did you do it?" Her tone was softer now, but I still was unsure of where I stood.

"When I got to her, I knew I only had moments. The smell of her blood was so thick in the air – there was so much of it already spilled. I knew at that moment why you had taken off the way you did. You were only trying to protect Angela from Mike."

"And myself, Edward."

"You would have resisted, Bella. I know you don't believe me, but I truly think you would have been able to stop yourself, for Angela. But even so Bella, it was best you did what you did. Newton would have drained her without another thought."

"It means a lot to me that you believe me that strong, Edward, but I think you would have been wrong."

I shook my head, but continued. "Either way, love, it would have been in vain had I not bit her. Your sacrifice would have been worth nothing and she would inevitably have died at Newton's hand if I hadn't done it. I couldn't let that happen, Bella – I knew how much she meant to you as a friend and I just couldn't let her die that way. Not knowing if there was a risk of a newborn finding us, I simply reacted, hoping I would be able to stop."

"But how? You were so against taking my life – my soul…"

"Bella," I shortened the distance between us, standing only a few feet from where she sat – still not close enough to touch, but as near as I dared go, "my love for you is what held me back from changing you. I thought I was protecting you. I realize now that it was wrong, but I really believed I had your best interests at heart. I would also do anything to make you happy, and if that meant changing Angela, I would do it."

"So you had no qualms taking someone else's soul because you were doing it for me." I shuddered at her words, realizing how callous they sounded, but they were true. I had sacrificed Angela's soul simply because I knew Bella would want her friend to have a chance at life, or whatever our existence was.

"Yes."

The silence was deafening while I waited for her to process everything I had told her. It amazed me how much of her humanity she had carried through the change with her – even though her reactions were vampire-like, she still thought the same way she had as a human. She was still so much the Bella I had first fallen in love with, I wondered if perhaps Carlisle were right after all. No matter how much I doubted the continued existence of mine, Bella's soul was clearly intact.

The ringing of my cell phone once again broke through the silence of the forest. Answering quickly I heard Alice's voice on the other end instructing us that we needed to return home soon if we wished to be there when Angela woke up. I sensed the excitement in her voice and knew that she had witnessed my impromptu proposal. I ended the call and looked up to find Bella standing beside me.

"We need to go," she spoke softly and I nodded, hating the thought of leaving this spot with so much left unsettled.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. You are everything to me and the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you, yet I continue to do so." My eyes met hers in shock when I felt her hand slip into mine.

"Let's go home." Her words were simple but of immense meaning. They gave me hope that she was able to understand and perhaps forgive me for all that had transpired. I raised her hand to my lips, kissing it gently as we set off for home.

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_**End of chapter - You know what to do...hit the little button...you know you want to! LOL :)**_


	39. Chapter 39 The End?

_**My beta is the fabulous changedbyEdward.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight world. No copyright infringement intended.**_

_**The final chapter - don't freak out...explanation will follow! :O)**_

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_**(Edward's POV)**_

We made our way back to the house quickly, heading directly to the second floor bedroom where Esme and Alice had taken Angela. Esme rose immediately, flying to Bella and gathering her into her arms.

"I am so glad you are safe," Esme murmured, releasing Bella and pulling me into a hug. "Both of you." I patted her back affectionately, knowing the day had not been easy on her.

"How is she?" I asked Esme quietly as Bella approached the bed, taking Angela's still hand in hers.

"Alice says it won't be long. She has been quiet for awhile now and Carlisle feels that she is through the worst." I nodded, knowing that by the worst, Esme meant the burn, but in my mind the worst was still to come – when her heart ceased to beat. I did not voice this thought however, knowing it would only upset Esme and most likely Bella.

I stood silently in amazement at the doorway and watched my beloved as she stroked Angela's hair and whispered calming words of encouragement to her friend. Even though Angela was close to joining us, she still was human, yet the scent of her blood appeared to have no affect on Bella. The strength of my beautiful wife-to-be continued to astound me. Standing, she squeezed Angela's hand and smiled at Esme before moving towards the door to join me. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and guided her down the hall, stopping at her bedroom door.

"I'll let you freshen up, love. I just need to see Carlisle for a few minutes." Bella nodded and kissed me lightly on the mouth before disappearing into the room.

Entering the study, I found Carlisle sitting at his desk waiting for me. There were no secrets in this house, not with Alice around, so I wasn't really surprised that he already knew I had proposed, evident by the item sitting in front of him that I had come to retrieve.

He turned the velvet box delicately in his hands, and I resisted the urge to read his thoughts. Things had been strained between us since Bella's change and although I still was upset by how it all had transpired, I no longer held Carlisle responsible. The only person accountable for how things had happened was me, and I would spend the rest of my days making up for the pain I had caused. I owed this man my life and everything I had in it – he had brought Bella back to me. I vowed to myself at that moment that I would never allow myself to treat him with such utter disrespect again. A son should never treat his father that way.

"Edward, I want you to know how happy I am for you." Carlisle spoke softly, his eyes meeting mine. "When I took this ring from your mother for you to have, I had no idea whether you would ever meet someone you cherished enough to give it to. At that time, I didn't even know it was possible for us to feel that depth of emotion; develop that kind of commitment. But then, when Esme came back into my life and joined our family, I hoped that one day you would find that same kind of love." He pushed the velvet box towards me. "I am sorry that it took you so many years to find her, but I am so pleased for you to finally have such love and know that you will cherish it always."

I opened the small box and stared at the ring cushioned inside. A flicker of a time long since past flashed in my memory, a warm, gentle hand clasping mine while I watched the sun reflect off the shiny stones. I glanced up into my mother's smiling face and down again to the ring, the memory fading away as quickly as it came.

"I think she would have liked the idea of me giving it to Bella," I spoke, almost to myself.

"Without a doubt, Edward. You were everything to her. All she wanted was for you to have a life and be happy. She would be thrilled for you, I am sure of it."

"Thank you." I looked up into my father's eyes. "Thank you for looking after this for me while I was lost. Thank you for protecting Bella when I didn't. Thank you for everything you have done for me, Carlisle – even when I didn't deserve it." I stood and reached for his hand, clasping it in mine tightly for a moment before leaving him to find Bella.

I entered the bedroom and found her standing at the window, staring out into the darkness of night that had fallen around us. I moved across the room soundlessly, wrapping my arms around her waist, my lips moving to her neck and kissing her softly.

She turned in my arms, her hand caressing my cheek as she stared up into my eyes. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, Bella, everything is alright," I whispered as I pressed my lips to her forehead. "You have nothing to worry about."

"Wow that is an amazing feeling!" She giggled softly. "It's been a long time since we've been able to say that!"

"Bella, I think that is the first time, since I met you, that I have been able to say that." I chuckled as she cuffed me in the shoulder. "Hey…watch it, newborn strength there, love!" I feigned pain and dropped to my knees holding my shoulder, wincing to make it believable.

"Oh my God, Edward! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." Sensing her panic, I chuckled, catching her left hand in mine and kissed the inside of her palm gently. "What? Oh my.." Her eyes widened as they focused on the small box that lay open in my palm. "Oh, Edward…"

"Bella, I wanted to do this again, the right way. I know you said yes in the forest, but I had wanted things to be so perfect when I asked you to be my wife. After everything that has happened over the past few days, I got ahead of myself. I hope that you will let me try again?" I looked up and locked my eyes with hers and smiled when she nodded. "This ring belonged to my mother. Carlisle was kind enough to retrieve it for me and I have treasured it all these years, hoping one day I would find the one who was meant to wear it again." I pressed my lips to her ring finger and removed the cluster of diamonds from the box. "Bella, will you wear this ring for me? Will you marry me, love?" I waited for her answer, praying that our earlier words over Angela had not changed her mind.

"I would be honored to wear your mother's ring, Edward." She leaned down and kissed me gently on the lips. "So yes, I will marry you!" I slid the ring onto her finger and pulled her to me, crushing her mouth with mine. I had envisioned that very moment so many times since she had come into my life, but to finally have it be a reality was absolutely electrifying.

We laughed as we pulled apart; the bedroom door swinging open as Alice danced into the room, followed by the rest of the family. "Edward! Do you know how hard that secret has been for me to keep?" Alice asked me laughingly as she hugged us both. "Finally we have something to celebrate!"

Turning to Bella, I saw the wheels spinning in Alice's mind. I leaned down and whispered in Bella's ear, knowing my sprite of a sister would hear every word. "Just remember it is whatever you want, love. Don't let her make you do anything you don't want to do."

Alice pouted mischievously, her eyes darkening as she glared at us both. "You are not eloping! And no, Bella, you cannot wear Nikes with lace bows!"

Jasper pulled Alice into a hug, calming his wife with a kiss. "Now darlin', give them a chance to enjoy the moment." Sighing, she nodded and relaxed in his arms while the rest of the family offered their congratulations. I could not take my eyes off Bella; the peace and joy that glowed from her entire being was spell-binding.

Sensing my captivation, she leaned her head against my shoulder and smiled up at me, her scarlet eyes glittering brilliantly. "I love you," she whispered and I grinned, pressing my lips against the top of her head.

"And I love you."

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_**(Carlisle's POV)**_

I glanced around the room slowly, silently thanking the powers above for once again protecting my family from harm. The joy and the laughter in the room was like music to my ears as we all celebrated Edward and Bella's engagement. I felt Esme's arms wrap around me and looked down to see her face, radiant with love. I kissed her lips gently before she slipped away again, not wanting to leave Angela unattended for too long.

Angela. Her journey through the burn was near its end and I hoped that all would end well. There would be much confusion when she awoke and I feared how she would react to her new way of life, knowing that her last few days as a human had been far from pleasant. I feared that she would look upon us all as the monsters that Victoria and the Newton boy had been_. What would that mean for her? Would she be able to accept her own immortality or would she be mortified to discover that in her eyes, she had become a monster herself? _

"Carlisle?" Pulled out of my thoughts, I smiled at my son as he joined me. "I don't believe it will be a problem." Edward turned and watched Bella as Alice handed her several bridal magazines she just happened to have stashed away. Chuckling he turned back towards me, the elation he was feeling clearly written all over his face. "Angela is intelligent and a very gentle soul, hopefully those traits will follow her into this life. And with Bella and Alice to help her along; how can it not be alright?"

"All we can do is wait to find out, Edward. But as you know, these next few months will be difficult for both Angela and Bella as they adjust." I cleared my mind of any negative thoughts and smiled. "Now we won't worry about it any further today. Esme and I would like to offer our island to you for your honeymoon, unless you had other plans?"

Edward smiled enthusiastically. "That would be perfect, Carlisle. Thank you so much. I believe we will need the warmth and solitude of Isle Esme once Alice gets through with us!"

I chuckled as the wedding planner stuck her tongue out at us and then continued her discussion with Bella, who in reality looked more terrified with each passing moment. "Perhaps you should go and rescue your future wife – she looks as though she may pass out, which is truly unheard of for a vampire."

Nodding in agreement, Edward moved towards them, stopping suddenly as Alice stiffened slightly, her eyes glazing for a moment and then returning to normal. "It's time." She spoke softly and we moved quickly to join Esme in the room adjacent to us.

I smiled at my wife as she moved towards me, her arm wrapping around my waist as we stood in a semi-circle with the rest of the family around the room. Not too close to Angela as we did not want to overwhelm her, but close enough that we could move to restrain her if needed.

I glanced over at Bella and smiled encouragingly, knowing she was most likely remembering the final moments of her change. She smiled back, her eyes leaving mine and once again focussing on the bed in the center of the room. Edward stood behind her, his arms encircling her protectively as the only heartbeat in the room slowed with each passing moment and finally shuddered to a stop.

We waited in silence, the room dimly lit as the early morning sun made its way skyward. A new day had dawned for my family and I smiled in welcome as my youngest daughter's eyes fluttered open and met mine for the very first time.

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_**The End…**_

_**A/N – Now before y'all decide to throw stones at me for ending A Different Kind of Moon here, let me explain.**_

_**As this story progressed, I realized that there was going to be a whole lot more to tell, but not necessarily solely focussed only on Edward and Bella. A whole new world is about to open up for our dear Angela, and I really think she deserves to have that story told. That being said, please see below for a sneak peek of the sequel,**_

"_**Be Careful What You Wish For" (the first full chapter will be posted soon!) **_

_**Please add me to author alert if you would like to be notified or feel free to follow me for updates and silliness on Twitter: eyes_of_topaz**_

_**I hope you will all follow me on to the next story, but if you choose not to, please let me thank you again for all your support and love for "A Different Kind of Moon." MWAH!**_

_**And now onto the sneak peek…**_

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_**Prologue**_

I have been told that human memories are difficult to hold on to for a vampire – more like snapshots of our life before the burn. Some of us are luckier than others, carrying more mementos from our previous existence, while the less fortunate of our kind have little if any recollection of the time when their heart was still beating, their blood still flowed.

I guess I am luckier than most. I remember that I had family and friends who cared for me. I remember that I had parents that cherished me and were proud of my accomplishments. I remember that there was a boy who loved me, held my hand and gave me my first kiss. I hope those snapshots will stay with me.

I find it funny however, that my most vivid memory is not of any of those people. The photograph most clear is that of a shy, sweet girl on her first day of school. A girl who would become my best friend, my confidante and finally my eternal sister – Bella.

I remember her face as she watched them arrive in the cafeteria, our dear friend Jessica providing the play-by-play as first Rosalie and Emmett, then Alice and Jasper, and finally Edward entered. I believe Bella fell in love with Edward at that very moment, sealing both our fates in that one instant.

The conversations that happened that day are like whispers on the air, and I fight to capture them as they escape me. All but one. The words echo in my head over and over and will most likely haunt me for the rest of my days.

"_Dr. Cullen is like this foster Dad, slash matchmaker," Jessica joked._

"_Maybe he'll adopt me." _A passing fancy spoken aloud, never meaning any harm.

Be careful what you wish for.

My name is Angela Cullen and I am a vampire. This is my story.

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_**Hope you will stick around! Would love to hear what you think and thanks again to all! MWAH!**_


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